Still Life (Forever Still #1)

by A. M. Johnson

  “I have a boyfriend, we’re pretty serious.” I made eye contact with him while I drank from my now full wine glass. His smile faltered just enough that I caught the expression.

  “Well, isn’t he a lucky man. It’s a good thing I have a girlfriend, I wouldn’t want to try and steal you away.” He chuckled at his own joke.

  I bristled. “Uh, yeah. If I had to choose between you or my boyfriend, you’d lose every damn time. Thanks for the drink ass.”

  His laugh brought me up short. “Let’s start over. My name is Harper Pike, I work for Regent Records. Have you heard of them?” Harper’s smile was smug now as he pushed a business card toward me across the bar. I felt like an idiot.

  “Regent records? Out of Seattle?”

  “Yeah. Impressed?”

  “Not really,” I lied.

  Again, his haughty smile took over his stupidly handsome face. “You’re a bad liar, Miss Haddington. You should be impressed. We have some major talent under our belts.” He winked at me. Oh, this man was all kinds of arrogant.

  I ignored his poor attempt at flirting. He obviously knew who I was. “How can I help you, Harper?”

  “It’s really more like how I can help you. You have an amazing talent. Unbridled has caught the attention of our executives. They’d like you to record a demo, on their dime of course, to see what you sound like cleaned up a bit.”

  “How have executives from a Seattle-based record label heard of a small town band? I’ve never sent a query.” I was having a hard time believing this jerk.

  “Me.”

  “You?”

  He laughed. “Yeah, me. I’m from here. Well sort of. I’m a Seattle transplant thanks to my father and his job. I work part-time scouting for Regent and full-time for my father at his firm. I’ve been to most of your shows since October, even the solo ones. You guys have an amazing unique sound, intelligently poetic lyrics, and your voice Miss Haddington, it’s honey.” He took a sip of his amber-colored drink, I assumed was whiskey or scotch. He looked like a scotch drinker if I ever saw one. He was way too smooth.

  “So, you’re an indie rocking lawyer, I have a hard time buying that.”

  “I’m not a lawyer, no, and I don’t need such elaborate schemes to pick up women. I excel in all aspects of my life.” He winked. He actually winked!

  I nearly spit wine into his face. “Wow, you’re an asshole.”

  “No, just confident and for good reason. Listen, like I said, I have a girlfriend. I don’t want you, I want your voice.”

  “No thanks.”

  “Will you not even consider it?”

  “I’m not selling my voice. I do this for fun. We don’t want a record deal. Unbridled is ours.”

  “Do you charge a cover for your shows?”

  “Yes,” I said confused and exasperated. He was relentless.

  “Then you sell your voice.”

  “Fine, maybe I do. But—”

  “Look, think about it, talk with the band members and let me know.” He finished the last of his drink and stood. He wasn’t as tall as Sawyer but felt imposing nevertheless.

  “Like I said, no thanks.” I slid his card back across the wooden surface toward him. He frowned.

  “You’re not even going to discuss it with your band.”

  “You don’t give up do you?”

  “Never. When I want something, I get it.” I didn’t miss Harper’s flash of white teeth or his double meaning. He was trouble.

  “I said, no. I appreciate the compliment. But we all decided in the beginning, this band, it’s just for fun.”

  “Okay.” Harper’s self-satisfied grin appeared again as if he knew something I didn’t. This guy was a total jerk. “See you around Elizabeth.” My name on his tongue felt wrong on so many levels.

  The smell of wood and sealant filled my nostrils as I finished the final coat on the custom cabinets I was building. This was the largest order I’d filled since the inception of Willow Wood. The buyer seemed eager for them to be finished. She was an interior designer who apparently had some millionaire clients on her books. She gave me her sketches a month ago and I was nearly finished. These intricate kitchen cabinets would bring in sixty grand so I couldn’t complain about the time crunch or the lack of time to make new orders.

  I sat back and admired my work. I had whittled delicate vines with incorporated scrolling iron work on each door. Not to mention the handmade crown molding, these were my finest creations yet. I looked at my watch and frowned, Elizabeth should’ve been home by now. I laughed aloud at myself. This wasn’t her home really. It sure felt like it though and I treasured every minute she was here. I pulled out my phone and tapped out a quick message.

  Me: Hey sweetheart. You heading here soon?

  My phone chirped immediately.

  Elizabeth: Headed out now. Sorry, was waving off an ass-hat.

  Me: LOL, I hope you kicked him in the nuts.

  Elizabeth: Almost, see you soon. xoxo

  Me: Love you.

  I closed up the shop and headed inside for a shower. I was almost done when Elizabeth’s voice called out, “You have room in there for me?” She walked into the shower. I swallowed.

  “Sure.” Four months and she still made me feel like I’d never seen a naked woman in my life. She was just so breathtaking. She turned on the second shower head and I eagerly watched the water wrap its lucky hands around every inch of her glorious skin. I couldn’t resist so I took her body into my arms. Her back resting against my chest and stomach. I kissed her neck and tasted her tender flesh. She hummed with appreciation.

  “You should just stay here. I love this.” I grabbed her soap and shower fluffy thing. “Here you go.” She took the items and stared at me with… shock? Awe?

  Oh shit, did I just ask her to move in?

  “Really?”

  “Why not?” I felt anxious for an answer I didn’t even know I wanted until now. I wanted a ‘yes’ more than anything… ever.

  “Should I make you a list of why not’s?” She giggled and started lathering up her body.

  My jaw tensed with desire. I rubbed small circles around her hips moving gradually inward toward her belly button. Her stomach was my favorite part of her body. It wasn’t flat and hard like an athlete. It was smooth and slightly rounded out. Women were supposed to be soft. I secretly grinned.

  “I’m serious, Liz.” My hands skated deliberately over the swell of her breasts. I was rewarded with a quiet, needy moan.

  “Are you trying to coerce me?”

  “Always.” I laughed into her hair. She pressed her body further against me. She couldn’t distract me so easily. “You’re here all the time. We could save money. Plus, I just like having you here. You’re my girl, Liz. I want you here. I’m always working in the shop, you have school. I know you need your space just as much as I do, but I’d love it if you would move in with me.” I rubbed her shoulders.

  “Okay,” her voice was small. I turned her around and saw she was smiling. “I just wanted to make sure you were serious.” I mentally high-fived myself.

  “I’m always serious when it comes to you.”

  I kissed her lips and lightly brought my fingers over the round of her backside. Goose bumps erupted across her flushed skin. I sat back on the built-in bench within the shower. She followed me never once stopping our kiss. She wrapped her legs around my waist seating herself and joining our bodies entirely. A pleasurable cry escaped her mouth while taking all of me in. I hissed as the heat from our connection enveloped me. Our kiss became passionate as our forms moved together in a perfected synchronization.

  My muscles were taut against her plush form. Her lips greedily pulled at my bottom lip, urging my vigorous pace. My left hand embraced the back of her neck. My fingers tangled in her hair and tugged her head back with a gentle force. Exposing that spot on her long neck, the spot where her pulse pounded with fever and lust… the spot where her scent was the strongest, and her taste was magnified. I placed a
small kiss on the sensitive skin, before relishing her with my tongue. Her body was telling me she was close, this moment, this second, this love, we lost control together. We knew each other in every way. She knew when to push and I knew when to pull. No one could ever be more than her. She was my life now and I couldn’t wait to live it.

  “So who was this ass-hat you spoke of? Should I be worried?” I grinned as I pulled up my boxer briefs. I pulled back the covers of the bed and watched as Elizabeth dressed herself in sleep shorts and the soft grey shirt of hers that I liked so much.

  “Some creepy record label scout,” she huffed as she snuggled her back to me. “Mmm, you’re always so warm, a girl could get used to this.”

  “A record label? That’s a good thing, right?” I was confused.

  “We don’t want that for Unbridled. It’s just us having fun through college. Plus, the guy was full-on hitting on me. He was a sleaze ball, probably thought he could get me to blow him or something.”

  My body stilled. The tendons in my arms stood out as I clenched my fists. The blood rushed into my head at the thought of Elizabeth being with another man.

  “I’d kill the mother fu—”

  “Shh, settle down, it’s never going to happen. I sent Mr. Pike on his way.”

  I now felt nauseated for a whole new reason. My head started spinning and I felt the bile rise in my throat. I swallowed hard.

  “Mr. Who?”

  “Harper Pike. He said he was from Regent Records. He’s from Seattle too, by the way. Said his dad works at some firm in Salt Lake.”

  The earlier moment with Liz in the shower that had created safety and warmth was now shattered. He’d found me. I never thought he would go through Elizabeth. I was shocked silent. My breathing became erratic as I pulled Elizabeth closer, protecting her from who knows what.

  “Sweetheart? What’s wrong? I swear I didn’t reciprocate any feelings.” Elizabeth turned and looked at me. Her body now even against mine. I felt as if I was squeezing her to me like she was a lifeline. I was slowly dying a mental death and she thought I was jealous.

  Harper Pike.

  “Sawyer?”

  “I know baby. I know you would never do that. I just… I know Harper. You’re right, he is a jackass.”

  “You know him?” It was her turn to look confused.

  “Mr. Pike works for my father. He’s his second in command. CFO for the company.” Partner in crime. Elizabeth’s face lit up with understanding. “Harper is his son.”

  “Oh gosh, Sawyer. He said he had been following our band since October. Do you think your father had anything to do with this?”

  I glowered. “I know he did. He’s found me.” I felt like the small child cowering under the bed again.

  What the hell was I going to do?

  “Maybe it’s an olive branch?” Elizabeth smiled up at me with such hope. I knew my father, he would never suggest any sort of peace offering. I knew too much, I could take his whole world down. Intimidation is all he ever knew.

  “This isn’t an olive branch, cricket, this is intimidation at its finest. He’s screwing with me.” I stared at the ceiling. I felt Elizabeth’s mouth against my neck, her words whispering serenity into my heart.

  “We don’t know anything. It’s been a long time, Soy. Let’s not worry about it tonight. It’s your last night of freedom, I’m moving in tomorrow.” She laughed and pushed me onto my back. Her long hair falling across her right shoulder. God, she was spectacular. Her words haunted me though. She was right on one account, it was my last night of freedom, just not from her.

  The hot sand burnt my knees. My fingers dug into the wooden planks as I struggled. I felt the cool metal barrel of a gun touch the back of my neck. I told myself not to panic. Don’t quit. I couldn’t breathe. It should just be a minute more and then I could breathe. My head was brought up quickly. The Haji’s hands ripped at my hair. I took a deep breath before I was submerged again. The water overtook my upper-half all the way to my shoulders. This time my head had hit the bottom. I stopped fighting and relaxed. Pain was my friend. I was still here. I still had the knife in my boot and the dead man trying to drown me had left my hands untied. Big mistake.

  I was brought up again. My captor yelled at me in another language. He needed information I would never give. I used this chance to take a turkey peek over the wood. I was being held at some sort of farm. I only saw two men. I’ve got this. I cracked the back of my skull into his head. Blood gushed. I had fifteen seconds before the other man turned around again. I grabbed my knife and shoved it into the carotid artery of the Haji who still clung to my shoulder. I jumped up. The gurgling sound coming from my abductor signaled to me that I’d done well. The last man didn’t even see me coming. I was a ghost. He turned just at the right time allowing my escape. I slit his throat from behind. My breathing uneven, I had to find a way back.

  Blackness enveloped me...

  Her eyes are cold and fixed. I was fifteen. She looked just a few years older than me. She looked dead. I reached out to touch her, but then I heard him. I had to get out of there before he saw me, before she woke and told him I was there. I headed for the door, but it was too late.

  “What the fuck are you doing home?” Dad charged at me. I didn’t have a chance to explain that it was the start of Thanksgiving break. I didn’t get that moment to tell him I’d heard everything. I was in my room when the screaming stopped. I thought him and the whore had left. No, I didn’t get that chance because he knocked me so hard in the stomach I couldn’t breathe.

  “Forget this! Forget everything you think you’ve seen. You hear me boy?” His face was purple with rage. I looked around and that’s when I noticed the ropes on the floor next to the bed. I noticed the girl hadn’t woken and her eyes were still permanent and emotionless.

  I thought I was brave. I caught my breath.

  “What did you do?”

  My father’s hands wrapped around my throat. I needed air. I fought back this time. The first time. I was stronger now. We fell to the ground and my fingers found purchase around his throat. I had him in my grasp. I could end this. Pain exploded into my groin. We wrestled around on the floor. I just wanted to leave, forget what I saw, what I thought I knew. My father granted that wish with violent precision. His large hands embraced my face, it felt almost loving for an instant. He gripped tighter and smashed my head into the floor. One, two, three times. Blackness enveloped me.

  Sawyer’s body was shaking. I was awoken by the sounds of his nightmare. I wasn’t sure what to do. His body jerked and I could tell he was fighting. My touch in the past always pacified him. This nightmare scared me though because it seemed to last forever. He started thrashing. He swore and I backed away. He sat up abruptly and looked at me in the dark. Fearful, I quickly moved, my back slammed into the headboard. His eyes were dead. I could tell he wasn’t awake.

  “Sawyer? It’s okay, baby.” I believed and hoped this would wake him. I was wrong. I wished I’d sensed the danger. Sawyer moved so fast he almost didn’t seem human. He enclosed his large hands around my throat. The fragile skin was branded by his palm. I tried to cry out, but he held on so tight no air escaped my lips. He thrust my body into the bed. His full weight crushing me. I was pinned and he was strangling me. Choking to death, I panicked. Stars erupted from behind my eyes. I needed to fight. I struggled and he only squeezed harder. I knew if I could just break free, wake him, it would be okay.

  I wriggled the best I could. I was losing energy and valuable oxygen fast. Finally, my leg freed itself and I kneed him as hard as I could in the groin. He instantly released me. I gasped for air and it felt like glass shards running down my throat. I rolled over and fell to the floor, heaving my lungs in and out, drinking in the joyous air of life. I coughed and lay back against the hard wood floor. The cool surface felt nice against my heated skin. My whole body shivered. I raised a shaky hand to my forehead and gulped down the sob that was making its way up my throat. My tears seared my bl
oodshot eyes. I had to pull it together. As much as I was terrified of Sawyer, for Sawyer, in this moment, I told myself he would take what just happened and use it to punish himself for God knows how long. I loved him, I knew he couldn’t hurt me.

  This was what loving him was. I had to embrace the demon. Sawyer was a good man, I couldn’t forget that. He was damaged, but not beyond repair. I tried to school my facial expression, show no alarm, but then he spoke.

  “What… what the hell just happened? What… what the fuck did I do?” his voice cracked and my heart broke wide open. I couldn’t stop the tears that boiled over and poured down my fiery cheeks. These tears fell for him. I watched Sawyer’s green eyes storm, clouding over with guilt and self-loathing. Sawyer sat at the edge of the bed, he stared down at me. He looked wrecked. “Oh my God, Elizabeth, your neck.” He moved to pick me up off the floor and I flinched. I cursed at myself for showing any sign of trepidation. I was aware that that tiny movement would send him to the darkness of his hate for himself. He sat back and water filled his eyes. I had to let him know it was okay. I stood, my breathing still rough and reached for his face.

  “Sawyer, I don’t know what to say. I’m frightened for you.” I cupped his cheek in my hand.

  “You’re frightened for me?” He looked incredulous. “I almost just fucking choked my girlfriend to death.” He pulled away from my touch.

  “You didn’t know what you were doing, you were in a dream. Calm down and talk to me.” I felt an emptiness building.

  “Exactly! This can never happen again. I love… I love… love you, so much.” He stood and grabbed the alarm clock and threw it against the wall. It exploded into pieces. “God damn it!”