A Flower’s Shade

by Ye Zhaoyan

  The streets were crowded, and a little boy scrambled in front of the two men and ran towards the bridge. Next some female students came along, chattering and laughing as they walked. Liangzhong saw that Xiaoyun still hadn't grasped what he had meant, and was compelled to elaborate: "I'm marrying into the Zhen Estate, so just think, since your sister is their sister-in-law, then we're bound by kinship ties, aren't we?" Just as Liangzhong was saying that, an acquaintance came off the bridge and hailed Liangzhong. Liangzhong began an animated conversation with the man, saying, "Why, if it isn't Shuhong! I haven't seen you in ages, it looks like you've come into some good luck, have you? That's alright, you don't have to be shy with me."

  The man called Shuhong answered, "Ha, you can spare your compliments. You're the one who's been in luck, that's clear enough. A certain Zha is marrying into a great family, and he's going to have no end of money. Don't forget your impoverished brothers!"

  Xiaoyun had obviously suffered an intense shock, he stood there foolishly on the bridge, and watched Liangzhong swaggering about, warmly expounding, although he could no longer hear what he was saying it. Liangzhong laughed impudently, he was speaking unabashedly about his wedding to Miss Yu. This news was so unexpected, he stood foolishly there, half-believing, watching the beaming Liangzhong. Groups of random people were greeting him or saying goodbye to him.

  After an hour, Xiaoyun was in Suqin's room, and saw the newspaper that Liangzhong had left behind. Only then did he truly believe in the wedding. He took up the brief report and read it over several times. When he was done, he could not suppress a bitter laugh. His laughter mystified Suqin, because she didn't know how much Xiaoyun knew of her relations with Liangzhong. Similarly, she herself was unable to form a correct judgment on how far things had gone between Miss Yu and Xiaoyun. When he had stopped laughing, he returned without comment to his own room.

  When it was almost dark, Xiaoyun stormed into Miss Yu's room, his face pale with fury, and greeted Miss Yu, almost forgetting himself, "May I ask you a question—who is it that you intend to marry, after all?" This gave Miss Yu a fright, and she answered mischievously, "Who do you think I intend to marry?" Xiaoyun answered, "How do I know? I'm not a mind reader. Let me ask you again—all I want to know is, what on earth are you thinking?"

  "You're asking me what I'm thinking?" Miss Yu was secretly observing Xiaoyun's expression with uncontrolled pride, "A smart man like you, how could you fail to know what I'm thinking?"

  Xiaoyun yanked the newspaper from under his arm, and pugnaciously threw it at Miss Yu. At first she didn't react. She just glanced at the paper, and then looked at Xiaoyun's expression, wondering why Xiaoyun should get so angry for no apparent reason. She opened the paper, and flipped through it carelessly, chuckling as she looked at it until she saw the report about the engagement. It was quite obvious that she too was surprised, but then she quickly recovered her composure. Still, the smile on her face was not natural. "Where did this paper come from?" she asked, pretending to be relaxed.

  Xiaoyun said, "All I want to know is whether what it says in this newspaper really true?" Miss Yu said, "If it is true—then what? And if it isn't true—well, then what?" This equivocal answer made Xiaoyun nervous, he couldn't bear for Miss Yu still to toy with him in this way. He was used to Miss Yu's caprices, but no matter how capricious she was, it shouldn't be about these kinds of matters. "If you really want to know, then fine. Prepare the opium for me, and when I've satisfied my craving I'll reconsider whether I ought to tell you or not." The more anxious Xiaoyun became, the more it entertained Miss Yu. She had indeed told Liangzhong that she intended to get engaged to him, and she had indeed once considered marrying him, but in her own mind all she had said was entirely a whim, entirely nonsense. She didn't want to be engaged to him at all, much less marry him.

  Much against his will, Xiaoyun vaporized the opium pill for her. Miss Yu lay on the opium bed, the pipe her mouth, and slowly took a drag. "Xiaoyun, do you know why I like having someone blow the pipe for me?" It was obvious that Xiaoyun was in no mood to answer a pointless question like that, but Miss Yu felt that at a time like was really a marvelous opportunity to tease Xiaoyun. In the past, Xiaoyun had always had the upper hand over Miss Yu, and today she felt like deliberately making him squirm. "Let me tell you, and this is what my father said, a woman really must not smoke opium. Why? Because if she smokes, if she always has the pipe in her mouth, in the long term, her mouth will get crooked. A woman with a crooked mouth—what kind of man would take a fancy to her, am I right?"

  As Miss Yu spoke, she put the pipe in Xiaoyun's mouth. In disgust, Xiaoyun turned his head away. "Xiaoyun, you're such a fool. Whom do you think I could marry? Do you think I'm going to marry someone who practically murdered my brother? Just think—who are you, after all. Of course, if you really want me to marry you, I could think it over." She spoke solemnly, and her words seemed to be only partly a joke.

  Xiaoyun looked at her, only half-believing, as if he had been waiting all this time for her to speak those words. He ought to have thought of that before, for—just as Miss Yu said—how could she marry a man who had poisoned her brother, almost killed him? He was almost washed away in a flood of disappointment. "Then I must congratulate you." Xiaoyun said, trying to calm himself, but unable to prevent a shudder. Miss Yun looked at him, he had utterly lost his composure and couldn't control his voice; then she burst into laughter, "What are you congratulating me for? It doesn't matter to me, I don't care who I marry. It's just marriage, not even that; all it is, is the recruitment of a man for the Estate, right?"

  "And the fact that you, my young lady, dragged me back from the pier, all that you said about marrying me, that was all just hot air, none of that counted." Xiaoyun couldn't bear it anymore, and he finally sputtered in anger, "Ah! I've really been too much of a fool, such a fool to believe you, a woman who blows hot and cold like you, to believe that you would marry me? Really, I have been such a fool, such a fool…" Miss Yu's expression suddenly turned to one of pain—no matter what, Xiaoyun had no right to speak so harshly. "So I'm a low woman, I blow hot and cold, do I? What else have you got to say? Yes, that's what I'm like, and what are you going to do about it? Who do you think you are, and what right have you got to speak to me in that way?"

  Xiaoyun, infuriated, said, "Who am I? I'm no one. I'm no more than your ladyship's houseboy. I'm—let me tell you, if there's one thing that I, Yuan Xiaoyun, cannot stand—it's to be toyed with again."

  Miss Yu felt a wave of tenderness deep in her heart, and she said airily, "Who says I'm toying with you? I'll marry whomever I want to, what does it matter to you?"

  "What does it matter to me? You obviously know that I like you, you obviously know that I've fallen in love with you, you…let me tell you, you mustn't toy with me anymore, you mustn't! Do you hear me?" Xiaoyun had descended into a kind of frenzy, he could no longer hide his pain. "You obviously know that I love you, you shouldn't toy with me." As Xiaoyun spoke, he turned angrily away and left; Miss Yu seemed not to have taken any notice of the malevolent gleam in his eyes. By now, she was in no state to notice such things. In her amorous games with Xiaoyun, she had always been the instigator. Xiaoyun had never said he loved her, he had never said any such thing. Miss Yu said mischievously to Xiaoyun as he was leaving, "Hey, what if I want to toy with you, what can you do about it?" Xiaoyun had finally admitted that he loved Miss Yu, he had finally admitted it. Miss Yu was elated, she felt that she had finally thoroughly triumphed in this game of love. She had wanted so much to hear Xiaoyun say he loved her. Now she had finally heard him say the words.

  5

  Miss Yu was grinding the ink herself, and as she ground it, she gave a private laugh. Ever since Xiaoyun had confessed his love for her, she was always giggling. The bright round moon was shining outside her window. Miss Yu took up her brush and laughed as she wrote on the stationery, paying careful attention to every stroke of the brush. Huaifu stood nearby and watched Miss Yu with a heavy heart
. He didn't know what she was writing on the stationery. As the day of Miss Yu's engagement approached, Huaifu knew that that his days in the Estate were numbered. In these last few days, he still vaguely felt that there was something he ought to do.

  Miss Yu was quickly finished, and she put the finished letter into a refined envelope before gravely sealing it. "Huaifu, have you sent the gift to Seventh Grandfather? It's imperative that he be there on the day." Having sealed the envelope, Miss Yu again examined it nervously by the lamplight.

  Huaifu watched Miss Yu and said "I gave it to Fourth Uncle, for him to deliver." Miss Yu said, "Why did you do that? You ought to have delivered it yourself." Huaifu said, "I was worried that the old gentleman might not be willing." Miss Yu asked with solicitude, "What did Fourth Uncle say?" Huaifu swallowed. Then he stammered, "Fourth Uncle said, for an important thing like the young lady's choice of a husband, Seventh Grandfather was sure to come. But—"

  "But what?" Miss Yu knew that Huaifu had omitted something, "Since he's coming, that's fine—but finish your sentence."

  Huaifu did not continue, because he knew that although Seventh Grandfather was deeply dissatisfied with Miss Yu, the dissatisfaction didn't matter much, for in the end he would still come for the fun of the festivities. Seventh Grandfather's status could only be displayed in the context of such festivities. No matter how much he enjoyed getting on his high horse, he was also certain not to let such an opportunity pass him by. Miss Yu was worried that Seventh Grandfather might not come, but really she had no cause for concern.

  Miss Yu and Huaifu went into the Great Hall together. All the lamps were lit, and the Great Hall was bathed in light. It was already rather late, and all the servants had gone to bed. The Estate was silent. Miss Yu held the letter in her hand, and raised her head to look at the peeling gilt characters inscribed on the wooden boards, hanging in the center of the Great Hall. She looked at it for a while and gestured for Huaifu to bring a ladder. Before long, Huaifu had carried a ladder awkwardly into the great Estate, and clumsily set it up. He took Miss Yu's letter, and climbed up to the top of the ladder, stretched out his hand, and according to Miss Yu's instructions, hid the letter behind the inscribed wooden board.

  Miss Yu watched him with great amusement from below. The bamboo ladder creaked as Huaifu came slowly down, coldly observing Miss Yu's expression. Miss Yu was still looking with lively interest at the board. Huaifu waited for further instructions, but she seemed to be thinking only of what was concealed there. She gave a childish laugh, and didn't say anything for quite some time.

  "When the time comes, all they'll have to do is open that envelope to know all about whom I've chosen to marry."

  Huaifu looked at Miss Yu indifferently. He had guessed that this is how it would be, right from the beginning. Miss Yu's declaration only confirmed what he had already guessed. It was the kind of old trick one could only find in old stories from imperial times, but an eccentric spinster like Miss Yu was set on reenacting these dusty old stories. But dusty old stories cannot be repeated.

  It was past midnight, and the moon was traveling slowly westwards. The lamp in Miss Yu's room was already out. Huaifu carried an unlit lantern, and amid a concert of croaking frogs, returned to the Great Hall. He fished out his matches, lit the lantern, set up the ladder once again, and then stealthily crept up it. When he had nearly reached it, he put out his hand and took out the letter. The frogs suddenly fell silent, and he looked around fearfully, but the frogs began to croak again a moment later. He removed the envelope and opened it quickly as he could. Under the swaying light of the lantern, he stared at the paper.

  Huaifu dropped the lantern and it fell to the ground. The Great Hall was plunged into darkness. Without any light, Huaifu returned the letter to its envelope, and, his fingers trembling, once again put it behind the wooden board. Then he slowly descended the ladder. Outside the Great Hall, the moonlight was bright. Huaifu's eyes seemed already to have gotten used to the darkness.

  Huaifu returned dejectedly to his own room where he sat like a black tower, motionless. Miss Yu's calligraphy, hanging in his room, floated like white streamers in the room's blackness, setting off the ghastly moonlight outside his room. He sat there as though he were in a mourning hall. Now he regretted deeply finding out a secret that he hadn't wanted to know, in any event Miss Yu was going to get married, and whom she married didn't matter, it no longer had anything to do with him. Suddenly, Huaifu slapped himself hard on the cheek, then he clenched his fist and punched himself on the head.

  6

  The Zhen Estate was gaily festooned, and everyone was preparing for the ceremony of Miss Yu's engagement. Huaifu directed the preparations with a gloomy, downcast expression. A strong man was clambering up to the high places and hanging great red lanterns. The preparations had already been going on for several days, and the long-awaited event was finally to take place. The old maid Miss Yu was to get married—this had been explosive news in the small town. Her upcoming marriage was being discussed everywhere, and because it had already been reported in the local newspaper, but Miss Yu deliberately made no declaration about who her intended was, which seemed affected and ridiculous. The Zhen clansmen believed that since she had never denied that she was to be engaged to Zha Liangzhong, ,he was evidently the only real choice with things as they stood. The Zhen clansmen had once again convoked a meeting, deciding unanimously that although the Zha Family had already declined and was now destitute, it was not unknown for prodigals to turn over a new leaf. In any event, many years ago, the Zha Family had been one of the most prominent families in the town. Now the Zhens could condescend to bring a Zha man into the family estate through marriage—on that basis alone, they ought to accept him. Besides, the Zhen clansmen understood that in reality they couldn't actually prevent Miss Yu from marrying whomever she chose. They could only let her follow her whims. If she had really chosen someone else, then that someone it would be.

  Brimming with jealousy, Suqin appeared in the walkway. From some distance, she signaled to Huaifu as though she had something to say to him. Huaifu gave some instructions to the man who was hanging the lantern, and walked off towards Suqin. It was clear that Suqin didn't want anyone to hear what she had to say to Huaifu, and she gestured for Huaifu to walk with her. Both of them instinctively looked about to make sure; then they walked into Suqin's courtyard. As they were going in, Huaifu asked, "What did you want to tell me, sister-in-law?"

  Suqin said nothing, she bowed her head and walked and only stopped when they were in the courtyard. Then she said bitterly, "What's the point of all this bother, why throw everything into an uproar, what is it but a moldy old maid getting married? It's not like she's in the original packaging, but she wants to make a big mystery out of it, as though if there was a secret to be kept, she acts like she's a princess taking her pick of the suitors, what's so wonderful about her, that guy's 's only interested in her property anyway!" Huaifu looked at her expressionlessly as she trampled on Miss Yu with any words she could find. "And my dear sister-in-law imagines someone really likes her." Suqin was sneering, guiding Huaifu into her room, expressing distaste with everything Miss Yu had done, "That's why everyone says that an old maid shouldn't be allowed to go astray, because once they go astray, the results are horrifying."

  Huaifu, following Suqin into her room, saw Naixiang in his wheelchair as he came in. Ever since Ai'ai's death, Suqin had found a strong maidservant to take care of Naixiang. As Huaifu had come into the room, the maidservant had just noticed that Naixiang's diaper needed changing, so he saw her pulling Naixiang towards her, saw Naixiang falling onto the woman's lap, slobber dribbling from his mouth. Since he was always seated, Naixiang's behind had grown hideous, the bones of the buttocks had become deformed, and the smell of piss assailed his nose.

  Suqin stood nearby, looking on with a little revulsion, fanning her nose, and only when the servant was finally done did she speak again. "Let me ask you, what date is my sister-in-law's wedding set
for?" The question was casual, as though she didn't much care about the answer; then she immediately entered into another attack on Miss Yu. Ever since Liangzhong had told her the news about his upcoming engagement with Miss Yu, she really had become a mortal enemy of Miss Yu. Engagement, marriage—that's all pretense now. Hmph, now bedding comes before wedding. But I'm worried. Do you know what it is that worries me?"

  Huaifu shot a glance at Naixiang. Naixiang was sitting there blankly, although it looked as though he was listening to their conversation. Suqin's jealousy had been too evident, and Huaifu felt that she was totally ridiculous. It would really be interesting if Naixiang could hear their conversation. A strange idea suddenly entered Huaifu's head—what if Naixiang wasn't at all the way people imagined him to be, what if he was only pretending, what if he were to turn suddenly back into a normal person, if the power of the Estate were to be once more in his hands—what would happen then?

  Suqin noticed that Huaifu was distracted, she knit her eyebrows and said, "I'm doing this because Xiaoyun worries me. Huaifu, you may not know yet, but Xiaoyun has gone practically crazy these days. Just think, now he knows everything, he knows that your cousin is going to announce her engagement to Zha Liangzhong."

  Huaifu was surprised at these words, and his mind was filled with confused thoughts. He had been dejected for the last few days. "How do you know that my cousin intends to marry Zha Liangzhong?" he asked, not entirely understanding.

  "Either you really are that gormless, or else you're being disingenuous." Suqin said, staring at Huaifu as she sneered, "Who on earth doesn't know that much? How could you fail to be aware of it yourself? Your cousin's slept with Zha Liangzhong, don't you even know? Really, why try to pull the wool over my eyes? Let me tell you, Xiaoyun has always been a little obsessive, I'm worried that if he can't get over it, he may do something horrible once again."