by Sasha Goldie
"Wow," Carson breathed. "That's terrible. Worse than I thought, for sure." He leaned forward. "But I'm not him. I would never, ever do that to you. You could have your dick blown off, and I wouldn't leave. Not even for that. I'd give it every single effort I had in me." He leaned forward a little more.
"I know you wouldn't. I believe that." And I did. Suddenly the idea of starting something serious with Carson seemed promising and exciting, rather than the scary prospect it had been before Do-Yun had turned up. "I have no residual feelings for him. I kicked him out, sent him on his way right after he told me you'd stopped by."
“Okay.” He looked at me with vulnerable eyes.
“I don't know if I want to rush right into something," I cautioned. "Still, I need slow, like, snails on pot slow. But, friends, yeah? Except friends going toward something more."
“Okay,” he repeated, his expression turning soft, and his vulnerability disappearing.
18
Carson
"Are you angry with me?" Max asked, his face awash with vulnerability.
"No," I promised him. "I'm a little aggravated at myself for not coming in and getting to the bottom of it right away, but I'm not mad at you."
He pushed out of the chair, quickly stepping around the coffee table and practically launching himself at me. He grabbed my face and kissed me as he climbed on top of me. Scooting down quickly, I moved so he could lay half on me and half on the couch.
"Touch me, Carson," he whispered. "I need to feel you."
Gladly.
He let go of me and pulled up so he could unbutton his pants. Shimmying his jeans down his hips, his hard dick fell out and settled on my thigh. He shifted to give me access, and I stroked him. His lips found mine again as my hand moved, and he kissed me so hard, so desperately that our teeth clacked together.
I ate it up. "Give it all to me," I said after moving my head to get some air. "Give me your passion."
Max's hips flexed into my hand. "It's yours," he said against my jaw. He was nibbling me there, unable to keep his mouth off of me. I squeezed his shaft, slowly applying pressure and releasing it as I stroked him. "Sit up?"
He did, and I dropped to the floor, holding his hard cock straight up and lowering my mouth on it. Max groaned. "I love your mouth, but I want that ass."
Soon. I hummed against his shaft as I licked it, smiling as I worked him. He wasn't going to flip this around and have us going from a snail's pace to way too fast.
"Carson, I don't think I'm going to last long today," he said urgently. I hummed again and redoubled my efforts. I wanted to show him I cared for him, his pleasure, his feelings. After he came, I just wanted to hold him and care for him.
As I bobbed my head on his cock, enjoying my efforts, I realized my caring was almost definitely turning into more. I was getting deeper and deeper.
As he moaned, his hand tightening in my hair, I sucked hard, trying to make his orgasm as intense as possible. Just as he came in my mouth, his hot cum squirting down my throat, Droo shoved his way between us, disconnecting my mouth from Max's pulsing cock.
"Droo," he yelled, as the last little bit of his cum squirted out onto his lap.
I shoved the dog away. "Go lay down, you bad dog," I said as I burst out laughing.
Max lay back on the couch, absolutely giggling. "Do you want to move to the bedroom? Where we can close the door?" He looked at me affectionately.
"I really, really do," I whispered, standing up and once he'd pulled his jeans up enough to let him walk, I took his hand so I could lead him to my bedroom. He hadn't been in it before.
Inside, we shut the door on Droo, who looked up at us with big eyes, as if reproachful that we weren't including him.
"Sorry, bud," I said as I closed the door. "You don't get to do everything with us."
Max laughed and pulled me into his arms. His lips met mine softly, sweetly. We weren't sure of anything, but he showed me with his hands, rubbing my back, and his lips, tasting my own, that he cared for me. His body said what he couldn't yet.
He pulled his arms between us, grabbing the hem of my shirt and lifting. I raised my hands to help him pull it off of me. As much as I'd enjoyed giving him an orgasm, I was ready for my own. Max roamed my chest, trailing kisses around my pecs, and finally closing his lips around my nipples.
My already-hard dick twitched as his tongue circled the already tight and sensitive buds. He kept one hand on my side, but the other smoothed down my stomach—which I sucked in because I was in serious danger of laughing. It tickled.
As soon as his hand was clear of my stomach and rested on my belt buckle, my humor faded, entirely replaced by desire.
Straightening, he kissed me again and unbuckled my belt and my pants. I reached around his arms and pushed his already-unbuttoned jeans down. We wrapped our arms around each other and kissed, my hard dick pressing into the soft flesh beside his half-hard. I didn't know if he'd recover in time to come again, but I was definitely game to try.
I wasn't wearing shoes, so I let my pants fall to my ankles then stepped out of them without pulling my mouth away, but Max had to kick his off. He managed it without breaking our kiss.
"Impressive," I teased into his lips as he moved them over mine.
We had to split apart as I pulled his shirt off, but as soon as his chest was bare, he pulled me into it, pressing our bodies together as much as possible while standing up. Slowly, we inched toward my bed until the backs of my knees pressed against it. I fell back, pulling Max on top of me.
He braced himself with his arms on either side of me, looking down at me seriously. "Carson," he whispered.
"Yeah?" He had my undivided attention. "What is it?"
"I have a little trouble with being on the bottom, feeling trapped."
I'd noticed. "That's okay, we can be together whatever way is comfortable for you."
"My therapist says I should push my boundaries, but only when I feel comfortable and safe." Nodding, I rubbed my hands up and down his arms, trying to show support. "I'm comfortable and safe with you."
I smiled, so happy that I could make him feel that way. "I'm really glad. That makes me happy."
"So, if you'll be patient with me, I want you to fuck me."
My dick twitched in anticipation. "Okay," I said cautiously. "How?"
"Missionary. I want to see you above me and know that I can get out from under you if I want to and know that you care about me."
"Care is a soft word for such a strong emotion." I wasn't ready for the L-emotion but caring still seemed inadequate.
"Yeah, I get that."
He moved his legs, sitting on the bed beside me. I waited for him to settle at the head of the bed, looking at me with wide eyes. The sight of him splayed out on my pillow, vulnerable and sensual, burned into my brain. I didn't ever want to forget it. Crawling forward, I straddled Max's legs, leaning to the side and reaching into my bedside drawer.
Pulling out a condom and lube, I placed them on the table for easy access when we were ready. Returning to Max, I put my hands on either side of him, but didn't let our bodies touch, except for my hard dick which kept brushing against him, not that I minded. I left as much room between us as possible while he got used to the idea of me being over top of him.
He seemed a little uncomfortable, but not upset or panicked. Pressing soft kisses on his lips, I kept myself upright and moved my lips to the corner of his mouth, then moved to his jaw. He hadn't shaved before his shower, and his stubble was rough on my lips. I leaned my head forward and gave him an Eskimo kiss.
Max relaxed slightly as he chuckled. "Cute," he said, smiling up at me affectionately.
"You ain't seen nothin' yet," I quipped, then leaned forward again to give him several butterfly kisses.
Capturing his mouth again, he was more responsive, more relaxed. I lowered my legs, resting on my knees with my legs bent on either side of him instead of holding myself up. My ass pressed into his thighs, giving him a sense of m
y weight on top of him.
His dick had hardened more as our kiss deepened, making me wonder if perhaps he was able to go again so soon after an orgasm.
Reaching between us, Max grasped my cock in his large hand, making it difficult for me to continue holding myself above him. I groaned and pushed my hips forward slightly, pushing myself into his hand.
"I want you," I whispered, looking him in the eyes and relieved to see pure trust there instead of panic or worry.
"Then have me," he replied, milking my cock. I shifted my legs so I was on my hands and knees and could thrust my dick in and out of his hand. I hadn’t planned on fucking him today, preferring to take things slower, but unless he said no or became upset, there was no stopping now.
Max pulled up one of his legs so I could move around him as he spread for me. Moving back, I massaged his thighs, moving in slow circles toward his groin. While I knew I couldn't hold out long, I wanted to prolong it just in case he was able to have a second orgasm while I fucked him.
"It's been a while," I warned him as I lightened my touch and ran my hand over the skin of his scrotum. "I'm not sure how long I'll last."
"Same here," he said. "Though I have the advantage of having just had an orgasm. I may not be able to come at all."
I chuckled and took his half-hard dick in my hand, not really trying to stroke it, but just to show him affection and attention.
"Now," he said, apparently tired of my stalling. "Take me, as the romance novels say."
I laughed and reached for the condom, spreading it over my aching dick. I really wasn't sure how long I'd last once we were joined.
Dripping lube onto him, I continued my massage on his ass, first his cheeks, then closer and closer in until I was lubricating the place I wanted the most. He was well-shaven and neat, and the lube spread easily, my fingers slipping just inside one at a time to tease him. Moaning, I watched his cock finally harden, the stimulation of my slick fingers on his ass enough to bring him back for more.
Since he was hard again, I spread the lube all over his cock and groin, massaging and giving all the pleasure I could.
When I didn't think I could wait one more second, I made myself wait and slowly slipped a finger into Max's ass, breathing hard at the prospect of my dick following it.
Max groaned as he looked at me, and I realized as I watched his face turn from apprehension to pleasure that I'd forgotten he was uncomfortable. He'd grown so relaxed that I'd just slipped into the moment.
Trying to remain cognizant of his body language, I stroked my finger in and out of him, then balanced myself on my knees to stroke his cock to the rhythm of my hand.
"Carson," he said urgently. "Come on."
I gave in finally, and shifted myself so I was over him, one hand on my cock to guide it into his ass. He put his hands on my shoulders, gripping. I searched his face as I placed my head at his slick entrance, trying to look for signs of anxiety or anything negative.
He arched his back slightly, and all I could find on his face was desire, so I pushed forward slowly, removing my hand when I was far enough in and placing both hands on either side of his head.
Max grabbed his cock. "Stroke yourself while I fuck you," I said in a commanding voice, looking down at his hand moving over his dick.
As I watched his beautiful body flush with pleasure, I moved inside him, increasing the speed and strength of my thrusts.
When he was lost in passion, I lowered myself to my elbows, our chests barely touching as I struggled to maintain control while keeping him comfortable.
He felt so good squeezing my cock, I was a saint for keeping myself together.
His eyes flew open when he felt my shift, but I was close and kissed his cheeks and lips as I continued pressing into him with a steady rhythm.
Max shifted his hand, trapping his cock between us so that as I moved, my body stroked his cock against his own.
This time he relaxed faster than the last, so I built up the pressure again, getting him really into the moment before lowering myself fully on him, gripping his shoulders and using them to pull myself in and out of him.
He didn't even stiffen that time, just relished the feel of his dick trapped between our bodies as I fucked him.
His total acceptance of our situation finally made me lose control. I gripped his shoulders, fucking him as hard as I could in that position, my cock deep inside his tight ass as he squeezed me, bringing my orgasm to a head.
As I came, I bit down on his shoulder, not too hard, but enough to mark him, to remind him when he looked in the mirror that I'd fucked him, I'd held him down, and he enjoyed it.
"I'm almost there," Max whispered as I stilled, so I pulled out and removed the condom, throwing it in the trash can beside my bed, and quickly grabbed his cock, stroking him to completion. He watched my face as he came, and his facial expression was hot enough at any other time it would've made me hard as a rock, but not seconds after orgasming.
I didn't know what sort of face I was making as he squirted his cum all over his abdomen, but it was enough to make him pull me forward on top of him, right on the cum and lube, and kiss me for all he was worth.
"That was amazing," he whispered. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," I replied with a big smile. "Shower?"
19
Max
After we both showered—separately—we got back into Carson's bed, this time letting Droo in the room. He'd been waiting impatiently outside Carson's bedroom door. I'd thought I'd heard him woof a few times, and I'd been right.
He lay at the end of the bed while we talked.
"I'm glad you trusted me with that. I don't know what gives you that anxiety, but I'm honored you trusted me to be the one."
"You've made me trust you," I murmured, running my hands through his hair as he lay on my chest. My leg was totally exposed that entire time and I hadn't even thought about it once. "I didn't even think about my leg in all of that. It was a non-issue."
He raised his head and looked at me. "You know, neither did I. I forgot all about it."
My heart swelled with his words. That was awesome. If he could forget about it, it meant I'd achieved one of my goals, at least with Carson. The leg, or lack of, didn't define me.
"My anxiety doesn't come from losing my leg," I said, finally ready to tell him the whole truth. "I was captured a year before I lost my leg and kept in captivity for a month."
Carson turned to stone in my arms, then looked up at me with a mixture of fury and anxiety on his face. "What?" he whispered, shocked.
"Not many people know that. Not even my parents."
"How do your parents not know?" He was horrified.
"I was on a top-secret mission. I can't give you specifics." We'd infiltrated an enemy's army, posing as new recruits. We were young enough and cocky enough to pull it off. We went deep undercover, no contact for months at a time with our CO. "All I can really say is that I was captured, my CO didn't know, though that wasn't his fault, and by the time I managed to free myself, they'd killed the man they captured with me."
"How'd you get out?" His horror had turned to a mix of sympathy and fear. He was totally invested in what happened to me.
"Luck. All the stars aligned or something. One of the guards left my ropes a little loose, and I was able to make myself look tied up but really, I was free. When the next guard came in, I overpowered him." I shot him in the forehead with his own gun, actually, but that was a secret that would go with me to my grave. Not even my CO knew that.
"Something had happened to clear out the secret base I was on, and I was able to take the guard's Jeep. It didn't have a GPS or anything, but I lucked out and went down the right road, running into a US Marine patrol in the area. At that point, I'd seen my buddy die." His face flashed across my eyes. I closed my eyes and shoved it away. Something else to talk to my therapist about. "And I knew if I didn't get the hell out of there, I'd be next. They kept saying they thought I might crack and talk. That
was the only reason I was still alive. They'd decided Bryson wasn't going to."
The memories evoked an anxious response in me, but I'd managed to keep it to a minimum by pushing away the specific images. Right after it happened, I couldn't talk about it without turning into a blubbering mess. I still hadn't been cleared to go on missions when I lost my leg. I was just venturing out for a bit of fieldwork in an occupied city.
"Why haven't you mentioned this?" he asked me in a hushed tone.
"When I was safe, I had to go through months of intense therapy. They sent me home, to the base in South Korea, to Do-Yun."
"Did he help you through it?" he asked.
"I never told him."
Carson sucked in a breath. "Wow."
"You are the first person, outside of my higher-ups, and the unit that found me, that knows that I was captured by the enemy. Even my unit thinks that Bryson was the only one found out while undercover. They think I left because Bryson being killed spooked me."
Telling Carson about my ordeal was the single most freeing thing I'd ever done in my life. He wouldn't use the information to hurt me, he wouldn't think less of me for being captured. He wouldn't tease me or otherwise hurt me.
I trusted him.
Too bad I wasn't good enough for him.
"Max," Carson whispered. "I want more."
I didn't think I had much more in me. "There are some specifics I can never tell you. I made an oath, and I'll keep that oath. But there are details I've glossed over that my therapist says I should share with loved ones. Maybe one day I'll be in a place that I can give you more detail, but it's not today, I'm sorry." I squeezed his shoulders to let him know I didn't keep information back because I didn't trust him.