by Jamie Knight
I was glad I hadn’t had to explain anything further. But nervous to not know what was happening on the other side of the door.
I stood there for a little while to catch my breath, for I could feel a bulge in my throat coming up. Hands in my pocket, I was distraught.
I had just let Valeria go, and she had no idea what had happened. I had a feeling that she would not be back to work, since her strict parents were so embarrassed of merely the fact that she had fallen asleep, let alone what had really happened.
All she had left me with at that moment was heartache and the wisp of her fragrance on my neck – along with some scars on my back and neck.
The cold night air brought me to earth, and I stopped staring at the old white door. I slowly edged away from the porch, and walked aimlessly towards Jonathan, who had gotten out of the car to wait for me.
Silence.
The man seemed to understand that I did not want any kind of wisdom from him at that time. I had screwed everything up. All I needed was peace and time to think.
My mind reeled, as Jonathan shut my car door, and the engine roared to life. The limo rolled down the fading asphalt, and the window through to my driver shut slowly.
Left alone to stew in my thoughts, I could not help but wallow, while rubbing the wrist that I had handcuffed to her.
Will she ever forgive me?
Chapter Twenty-One
Valeria
I woke up with a start. My surroundings confused me for a while, before my head stopped spinning and the familiarity of the enclosed space came back to me.
The wallpaper of tulips that led to the Panic at the Disco poster on my wall jogged my memory. The yellow-framed window added to my understanding that I was back home and in my room.
My body felt like it weighed a ton, and memories of yesterday flashed by me. Slowly, the memories came back. I had just spent an afternoon with Alexander, my boss and lover, and he had shown me things I doubt would bode well with God.
Alex had blindfolded me, used toys on me and handcuffed me. It was a lot to process.
Oh, fuck!
Oh, fuck, indeed. I had spent my last two days in his presence acting like a whore, and the depth of my soul wanted something more. I wanted to do it all again.
A slight buzz was in my ear, and the slightest move of my eyes darting towards my black blazer panged me with a tiny migraine that ebbed in waves through me.
So, this is what a hangover feels like, huh?
My conscience flooded me with the imagined memory of Alexander’s long dick inside me and then also in my ass. He had fucked me at the same time in both my holes, and I was so focused on myself and my pleasure that I hadn’t realized what he was doing.
Then it hit me.
How the hell had I gotten home?
I clearly remembered how far we had gone in that evening. Alexander had swept me in his arms, and I had nodded off in his warm embrace. There was no way I came home that drunk without my mother noticing.
He must have brought me here.
I was suddenly wrought with gratefulness that my room was bathed in darkness. The look I would have in the mirror, of my body completely different from how I left yesterday morning, would have made me feel so wrong.
The buzz in my ears stopped and was replaced by the strong voices of two people arguing downstairs. The walls were thin in our household, and I could tell through the reverberation of heated words that this was not just a spat.
The voices were muffled, but my mom had a knack for letting anyone who was within earshot know of how upset she was with me.
“…fell asleep at work! Bullshit, James! The more I think it over, the less it makes any sense. There is certainly more to this story, and if falling asleep at work wasn’t bad enough, I think that Valeria actually did something way worse than that. An immoral sin, maybe. That buddy of yours, Alexander, is messing with our little girl and you’re too blind to see it.”
“Oh, really, Lisa? Why do you always have a negative attitude towards that man? Because he’s richer than we will ever be? Come on. He tried to give her a job!”
“No way! You lied to me that he was going to take her under his wing, and now I find her dress with sticky stains? He drives her home and tells us that she slept on her desk after a hard day’s work in the basement? No, Silva, this is not going on under my nose anymore!” she screamed.
I winced when she said, “sticky stains”. Touching my dress, I realized my underwear was not on me. I panicked and felt uncomfortably vulnerable.
“It was her first day, Lisa! Maybe she spilt some coffee on her clothes or maybe she’s just having hormonal issues. You can’t dare say we raised our daughter to whore around. She wouldn’t do that, and particularly, not with a man more than twice her age. You’re losing it,” Dad defended.
I felt slightly guilty at his words. I knew how much it would hurt him to find out what had really gone on in the past couple of days.
“James... have you seen your daughter lately? Ever since that devil started attending church, she’s been wearing skimpy clothes that reveal too much of her skin. She just started working for him and she was drunk! Are you going to play dumb or are you just that stupid?”
Silence.
“She’s just like you were at her age, remember?” he said. “Strutting around for men to notice and dancing to make them watch. Don’t you try to make yourself a saint, Lisa. I caught you once in the bedroom with a man that wasn’t me, and I forgave you…”
Damn, Dad.
“God forgave me, Silva! Not you! You were never there for me, and that man was interested. We didn’t even do anything, anyway.”
“Yeah, because I stopped you…” he said, but she cut him off.
“I have the right to please myself, but this has nothing to do with Valeria,” my mom said. “Her boss or someone at FGC is taking her for a ride, and I will not let this pass!”
I could hear heavy footsteps rushing upstairs towards my room.
Oh, no!
Panicked, I pretended to be asleep as my door flew wide open.
The light was switched on hurriedly, and a sharp pain cut across my face.
I opened my eyes suddenly and was partially blinded by the light.
Adjusting to the brightness, I saw my mother, fuming at me with a belt in hand and tears running down her face.
“You are going to tell me what happened to you yesterday, Valeria, whether you like it or not,” she firmly said, curling the end of the belt around her hand.
Holy crap.
I was in trouble, and it was more trouble than I had ever been in in my formerly innocent life.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Valeria
The deluge of water was all my body needed to mask the salty drops flowing down my cheeks. Slight hiccups and pain surged through me in sharp bursts, as my hair rolled down in a thick mass to my back. My naked body was in agony, but I could not begin to compare it to my heart.
Inwardly, I was dying.
My hands grabbed onto the wall of the bathtub as my legs lay squat on the almost greying wet, tile floor. The thought of ending it all swiftly and in my own terms toyed with my mind, as the edge of the razor blade on the counter called to me, closer every minute.
My vision became blurry, welled with salty waters of pain and anguish. I could still not believe how my life had turned out in the past few hours. My spirit was crushed, and the man of my dreams had abandoned me.
We had only had a short time to ourselves, yet it felt like an eternity. In my mind and thoughts, Alexander and I had been soul mates for years, decades even. He had taken me to a place no man ever would, and in hindsight, ever had. Not even in my wildest dreams.
Why me?
Out of all the bad that could have happened, fate had really done a number on me.
The hot water had run out, and the silence that was once superior in the bathroom reigned again. The few rivulets of water that drilled down my body drained through t
he tiny hole a few feet from me.
Light sobs flickered through my chest.
I was all alone.
Anger was what I had erupted with in the beginning. Only an hour ago, my mother had come into my room and demanded to know what had happened on that beautiful day that I had shared with Alexander Foster.
Her face, taught with determination, scared the hell out of me, and even as I sat there under the shower head shivering, I could not help but feel along the bruises on my skin.
Mom’s eyes — they were fire. I had never seen my mother so angry before, and it was all because of me. I felt slightly honored, in that tiny part of my heart that was still defiant and demanded its freedom, that she would channel all that energy into being angry with me. Foolish I was, of course, to listen to that bit of wondrous youth and answer back.
It was unexpected; how she lashed out at me and whipped me senseless with that leather belt. I was taken aback by how hard she came down on me. Like a merciless master beating a helpless circus animal, that was what and how she treated me.
“You will answer me, Valeria!” she bellowed at the top of her screechy voice.
Her technique in interrogation had become quite primeval, and the heat from her dagger stares met with mine whimpering in the corner of my cramped-up room.
“Mom, I don’t know what you’re talking ab…” I started, but was met with a whip from her belt; right to my shoulder.
She is not fucking playing!
“Ah! Mom! What have I done to you to deserve this?” I pleaded, shifting away slowly, edging for the door.
If I stayed any longer, my mom’s temper would lead me to hospitalization, or worse.
She licked her lips in a venomous frown. She clearly had had it and had no remorse in her to stop and realize how far she was willing to go. Maybe she had already lost it in the light of all the recent events.
Maybe…
She stumbled on a pile of clothing on the floor, and I took my chance.
It’s now or never.
I scrambled for my bedroom door, my short dress tearing at the seams to give me more room for the sprint. It was a mad dash that gave me a semblance of hope.
Too soon…
She was extra quick on her feet and blocked me before I could reach the doorway. Her body weight knocked me to the side and took the wind out of my lungs as I hurtled to the floor. Our limbs swung in midair, as the woman who lay in front of me came closer to do what she had to do.
“I know that something is going on with you and someone at work, Valeria, and it must be that scoundrel Alexander Foster. I don’t care if he is the richest man in the world, but you don’t know him like I do…” she trailed off, somehow absorbed in a memory so far into the past, “…but you are forgetting your faith, and I will instill it back into you whether you want it or not.”
She affirmed the situation by grabbing the curling iron on my bedside table.
I was on the floor, unmoving. The noise we had caused should surely have brought my dad into the room, but his absence proved my plight in all of this alone. Mother had blocked the door, and I was on the floor tangled up in a mess, dazed over what she wanted from me and how I could ever get away from this.
Whack!
My face stung.
Clunk!
My elbow burned.
It took me a second to realize she had taken the curling iron in her left hand and the belt in her right. Mercilessly, she beat me to a pulp, uttering the Lord’s Prayer as she went on and on instilling her “faith” in me.
To be honest, the pain had stopped when I decided I would take the beating head-on. Crying out in pain would not deter her deranged mind from assaulting me to the core, even after my voice went hoarse.
Footsteps that stopped at my door signaled the man of the household. A heavy tool dropped to the floor and the shuffling of boots towards mother was followed by a slap echoed that echoed.
“How dare you treat our daughter like that! She’s still not much older than a child, Lisa! You made your own flesh and blood bleed?” he screamed.
I could not turn my head, for the pain was too much. My arms splayed out on the floor, and my body was aching all over. I could only lay flat on my belly to numb myself.
Kill me now, you jerk. Kill me and get it done with. You promise your children a life of harmony, but you allow my mother to do this to me?
I was done. The words that left my dad’s mouth were incoherent, or my ears were buzzing too loudly — I could not tell the difference. I struggled to get up and crawled to the doorway.
Strong arms grabbed me by the armpits and Dad embraced me into his chest.
“My daughter, what has she done to you?”
I turned my head to see my mother on the floor, her hand to her cheek, staring daggers at me.
“Let me go, Dad,” I managed to hoarsely breathe.
I was going to go to Alexander’s and leave this hellhole. I was not in a caring mood for the repercussions.
“Where are you going? We can sort this out right here and now… just tell us what’s going on with you. Why did he let you go on your first day of work?”
What the fuck?!
That took me by surprise.
“What… what are you talking about?”
He looked down at me, clearly not comprehending the situation before him. Dad had care in his eyes, and yet he was seemingly disappointed when he looked at me and caressed my hair.
“You breached your contract, Valeria. Alex implied that you were disobeying at work. You fell asleep at your desk…”
What…?
The man must have been joking.
Me?
“Now, we raised you right and I know this must have been a misunderstanding, what with it being your first day and all, but I need you to…”
He did not get to finish. I tore myself away from him and walked out into the hallway, grabbing my right arm to steady the pain ebbing in and out.
Why would Alexander say such a thing about me? Did I do something to offend him? Why? Why Alexander? Why?
I couldn’t figure it out.
I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
Except that I was utterly alone and abandoned.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Valeria
I shuffled down the stairs, ignoring the calls of my father, who was also yelling at both my mother and me.
“Valeria! Come back! It’s too late to leave the house… now turn back and… Lisa… Get up and go after your daughter. You caused this mess and… Valeria...”
I unhinged the door and gave the house one final sweep with my eyes.
Goodbye, you sanctimonious, hypocritical jerks.
The hot air stung my swollen eyes, and the tightness of my breath heightened the pain in my bones. My clothes had been ripped at the seams, and my feet were blistering on the porch. Heavy footsteps cascaded down the stairs, and I had to gather my strength and do the only thing that I could only do in that situation.
I ran.
I ran to the only place I could think of.
As the hot morning air rasped through my hair, tears swelled my eyes, slightly blurring my vision. I had just run from home in pain, inflicted by my supposed saint of a mother, tearing down the streets in reckless abandon, with my mind reeling from what my dad had just revealed to me.
Alexander lied… and he knew I was going to hear about it.
I was angry. The hot asphalt burned up my bare feet and I was glad for the pain. I was glad my body felt it, for me being so stupid to fall for a man who had only wanted to use me for my body.
I could not believe how blind I had been to listen to him; to think he had trusted me as much as I did him. The words he had uttered to me during our first time together; they were all lies. They were the words of a cunning snake to get into my pants and have to himself some of that virgin pussy.
Fuck you, Alexander!
The sun shone around the happy, fluffy clouds, and I could not help but
imagine how grateful they were not to be human and experiencing pain. They were not a young woman who had just had her heart crushed by the man of her dreams and whose mother had just beat the crap out of her.
They were not a daughter who had lost faith in her father, her rock, her former knight in shining armor. The clouds were not me. And I envied them and hated them for what they were.
I tore down the block as fast as I could. The neighbors were mostly inside, and the houses were all quiet, or ignoring the noise that had just erupted from the Silva household. Then again, it was common knowledge that my parents spat from time to time.
Fuck them. They never wanted to hear my side of the story.
I cut a corner and breathed out a huff, staggering onto a porch I was all too familiar with. I walked unsteadily towards the dark door, illuminated by the sun to give the white walls a ghostly feel.
I quickly turned about me and surveyed my surroundings, painfully. It was all quiet and empty, and no one had followed me. I hugged myself to keep standing, and sharp pains all over daunted my hand from leaving my side to knock on the door.
I just had to.
Beyond that door was my only hope.
I could only manage a feeble knock and was truly grateful for the owner of the house being a home. The door lurched open a few inches after a few seconds.
I smiled or tried to.
On the other side of that door stood a bespectacled brunette, with freckles that went on for days. Her green eyes stared at me, looking shocked, but as soon as she registered who it was, the door swung open and her thin arms wrapped around me.
“Valeria! What the hell happened to you?” she pleaded.
I am safe now.
I collapsed and fell at her feet, reeling from the pain and heartbreak that hurt to be free.
“Stella…” I breathed, before I broke down crying.
Explaining everything to my best friend was the one thing I needed the most. It had been the most grueling two days of my life, and my emotions were all over the place.
I had just been in a love jest with a man I had been in love with for over a year, and he had only used me for his bodily pleasure. And even though it was seemingly over, my mother had beat me almost to a pulp all to try to find out what had transpired in the past two days.