by Ashley Jade
“Yes. He's at baseball practice now actually.”
“I can't have him see Leah like this. She wouldn't want that. I'm going to keep her in my bedroom. Make sure Danny doesn't go near my bedroom until I get her over this shit," Jacob mumbled as I struggled to get out of his arms.
He carried me up the stairs. “Stop, Leah. Stop trying to fight me when I'm only trying to take care of you.”
“Let me go. I don't want you, Jacob. Let me go home. I need to go home.”
“This is your home now, Leah. You already know why,” he grunted, before he threw me down on the bed.
I felt the stirrings of a migraine, and nausea began to take over my body.
Shit. I needed to find out how to get some, soon. Luckily, I knew Jacob's weakness...me. This was going to be easy. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Maybe, we can work something out?” I asked coyly as I started taking off my pants. “I'll give you what you need, and you can give me what I need.”
“Leah as much as I want you, there's no way in the world I'm giving you heroin.”
Fuck, this wasn't working out too well after all. I need to make him feel guilty—then he would fold.
“But you already did. You had Charlie and Liam give it to me,” I reminded him. “So, what's the big deal? Just give me what I need, Jacob!"
His expression changed from angry to miserable. “Leah, I only did that in order to rescue you, and to ensure your father wouldn't suspect anything. I only did that to get you the hell out of there—not get you high.”
“Fuck me, Jacob. Take me—make me yours again. Then, give me what I want," I begged.
“Stop. You're not mine anymore, Leah. Not when you're like this.”
With that, he walked out and slammed the bedroom door.
I picked up the alarm clock and threw it at the door. I needed to wait until Jacob went to sleep, then I could sneak out.
I heard a knock at the door, before Lillian walked in with a tray. “Here you go, dear, I brought some soup and crackers for you,” she said smiling as she set up a tray on the nightstand.
The last thing I could stomach was food right now, my nausea was about two seconds away from making me a permanent fixture in the bathroom.
“No. Thank you, Lillian.”
“Dear, you need to eat.”
I sat up in the bed. “No, I don't. Now leave me alone. I don't need food. I don't need anything, except for one thing. I'm a grown woman, I can make my own decisions. You can't keep me here against my will."
Lillian looked shocked, before her expression turned serious. “He's only trying to help you!”
I put my head in my hands. “No, he's not. Don't you get it? I was just another one of his whore's. That's all I'll ever be to him. But it doesn't matter anymore because I found the one thing that I need— the one thing in this world that doesn't cause me any pain. The one thing that takes it all away."
“He means well, Leah. Especially when it comes to you. You brought out a side of him that I haven't seen from him since he was a child. A much softer side—" she started to say, before I cut her off.
“You've only known him for ten years. He wasn't a child ten years ago,” I huffed while trying to focus on the conversation and not the flu-like symptoms that were now starting to invade my body.
“That's what he tells people, because I've worked for him for the past 10 years. But, I've known him for his whole entire life, dear. His mother was my very best friend—before her untimely death."
“How did she die?”
She wrung her hands and looked down. “Officially, it was ruled a suicide.”
“He never said anything to me about that.”
“He wouldn't. He doesn't like to talk about her,” she said softly. “Please don't tell him that I'm telling you this.”
As much as I wanted to use this piece of information for my own personal gain, I couldn't do that to Lillian. She was the only person who ever treated me with kindness and didn't use me. I nodded my head and she continued.
“Jacob and her were very close. He's never been one to open up anyone, as I'm sure you know. He keeps everything he feels on the inside. He didn't do that with her, though—she raised him to be kind and compassionate, much like she was. Unfortunately, she passed away when he was thirteen.” A tear ran down her cheek. “It ripped his little heart out. He was inconsolable—before he became such a controlling brute, that is.”
She inhaled deeply. “He and Richard used to go at it all the time when Jacob was a child. He hated that his father constantly cheated on his mother. Their screaming matches even turned physical, on more than a few occasions.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “However, after Julia's death, Jacob grew much closer to his father. Especially since he was still so young. He didn't have anyone else, all he had left was Richard. Richard undid everything that Julia fought so hard to instill in him.”
“That's horrible,” I whispered, trying my hardest to ignore the brief twinge in my heart. I needed to go numb, the sooner the better.
She dabbed at her eyes and headed for the door. “Yes, it is. Not as horrible as finding out that your own father, the man you looked up to and modeled yourself after, was the one responsible for your mother's death, though."
I got off the bed, walked to the bathroom, and proceeded to dry heave everything I had in my system after that. I kept telling myself it was just the withdrawal symptoms, but I knew it wasn't. I needed to get the hell out of here.
***
I decided to wait until everyone had gone to sleep. I knew Jacob was still in his office working and I waited until I heard him on the phone. I quickly found his extra set of spare keys, as well as my purse.
I didn't personally know any drug dealers, but I definitely knew an area that was crawling with them.
I crept down the stairs as quietly as I could, tip-toed to the front door, and opened it.
That's when I felt a hand grab me around my waist before tossing me over their shoulder.
“So we're back to this already, Dr. Adams?” Jacob questioned as he carried me back up the stairs.
I kicked my legs, but he ignored me.
He opened the bedroom door and dropped me down on the bed. “I told you, I love you and I meant it. I'm not going to stand by and watch you destroy yourself.”
“You don't love me, Jacob. I don't need your pity. I don't need anything from you. Now, let me go.”
He got in my face. “No! You already know why.”
“Yeah, so I can be your whore. No, thank you. There's only one thing that I want now. That is the only thing that I need,” I screamed before getting up from the bed and walking toward the door.
He grabbed my arm. “Take another step toward that door, Leah, and I swear, you'll wish you hadn't. Stop running away from me. Stop letting that shit ruin you. Stop ruining yourself."
“I need it!”
He lifted me up and put me back over his shoulder. “No, you don't. You need me, just as much as I need you.”
“You don't control me!” I screamed.
He proceeded to carry me out of the bedroom. “You're right, I don't have the control right now—but I will again.”
Chapter 27
Jacob carried me all the way out back to his guest house, before locking the door behind him.
When he finally let me down, my withdrawal symptoms had reached a peak. He brought me to the bathroom and led me to the toilet. I threw up violently, and he held my hair back.
“Jacob, I need it. Please,” I begged as I sobbed over the toilet bowl.
He rubbed my back. “No, Leah. You don't.”
I tried to swat his hand away, but I began dry heaving again.
After hours had gone by, I finally brushed my teeth and fell asleep in the guest house bedroom. Jacob laid next to me the entire time.
***
I woke up after what felt like days later. I tried to roll over and fall back to sleep, but I couldn't.
I soon realized it was because Jacob
had handcuffed me to the bed.
Now, I knew what he meant by his statement. He was going to try and control me.
Too bad I wouldn't let him.
Besides, I had something even bigger taking control over me now, something Jacob wasn't strong enough to stop.
The sooner he realized that, the better.
He walked into the room and his eyes drilled into me. I tried to ignore the sight of him but that only made things worse.
Even my horrible withdrawal symptoms wouldn't let my body ignore him. This was bad, but not as bad as being locked up like a prisoner.
I fought against my handcuffs. “You can't keep me as your prisoner, Jacob. Let me go.”
He walked across the room and sat on a chair. “Nope. Let me know if you need anything—other than drugs.”
“Are you just going to stay here and watch me the entire time?”
“Yup.”
“But my arms are starting to hurt. And I have to go to the bathroom.”
He finally got up off the chair and walked over to me. He unlocked me and walked me over to the bathroom.
I rolled my eyes. “Are you going to watch me do that, too?”
He smirked. “There's no window in there, so I don't have to.”
I chugged some anti-nausea medicine and quickly finished up in the bathroom. I walked back out and Jacob led me back over to the bed. “How long are you going to keep me locked up?”
He cuffed one of my hands to the headboard. “For as long as I have to, Leah. However, since I will be watching every move you make, I'll be nice. I'll only lock one of your hands now.”
I used my other hand to land a punch to his cheek.
He grabbed my wrist, and we struggled. I tried to ignore the arousal sweeping through me as he pinned my body down and handcuffed my other hand to the bed.
He walked back over to the other side of the room. “You can't have me yet, Leah,” he scoffed.
“What makes you think I still even want you?”
He gave me a cocky smile. “You really want to test that theory?”
“It would only be an involuntary response. It wouldn't be because I would actually want it—or you,” I said, knowing I was lying.
“Don't test me, Leah. It's bad enough I've got you cuffed to a bed. Don't make me prove you wrong.”
I gave him my own cocky smile. “Try me. I assure you, though. You'll be the one proven wrong.”
He didn't have any control over me anymore. I found the thing that I wanted more than him.
He moved over to the bed and sat next to me. He skimmed a finger up my thigh slowly and I held my breath.
“It's involuntary,” I gritted through my teeth before his hand undid the button on my pants and pulled them down.
I sucked in a breath as he traced the outline of my panties. I felt myself grow wet, and I gasped. He was right. I did want him.
It was more than involuntary—he knew it and I certainly knew it.
“Fine. You win. I want you,” I breathed, as his finger dipped beneath my panties and parted my folds.
He leaned into me. “What do you want more. The drugs, or me?” he asked, as his finger found my clit.
I arched my back and moaned. “I want both.”
He stopped and removed his finger and I grunted.
“Then, you can't have me, Leah,” he said coldly.
He stood up and went back to his seat across the room.
I didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. I had nothing left to say to him.
Chapter 28
“Am I really the new owner of Sand Corp?” I asked the next day.
Jacob sat across the room from me, still in his chair. “Yes.”
“Why? How?” I asked, still in disbelief.
“You told me if I loved you not to sign over the company to him. I didn't know what he was going to do to you. I couldn't let you die—you already know why."
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. He really did love me after all. “You really do love me, don't you.”
“More than anything, Leah. More than control, money, or power. I knew it was the only way to prove it to you—and I'd do it again in a heartbeat," he said, looking me dead in the eyes, sending a wave of both lust and emotion right through me.
I couldn't take his company from him, or his money. I didn't want it and I was already starting to feel bad enough about all that I’d put him through.
“I really don't want Sand Corp, Jacob. I don't want the money either. Can you sign it back over to yourself?”
He walked over to the bed and sat down next to me. “I don't want it either. I want you. I need you. I love you. To be honest, I only took over once my father died in order to find the men involved in the auctions. After that, I wanted nothing to do with it. I have another business that I've started— something I'm really passionate about.”
He tilted my chin up to look at him. “Meeting you gave me the push to finally venture out and start it. I told you, you are inspiring, Leah and I meant it. Sand Corp is all yours. The money is yours. I don't want it anymore, I only want you.”
I closed my eyes, as the impact of his words ripped right through me. I now had the one thing I had been secretly searching for my entire life, unconditional love. Handed to me on a silver platter.
Unfortunately, as much as I love and want Jacob—I still wanted and needed all the pain to end more.
I now had two addictions, and one of them—the unhealthy one, would end up destroying the other.
I couldn't let that happen.
Jamie was right...there was no coming back from the place I was in.
Jacob and Danny deserved more that what I had become. I had to leave and never look back.
But first, I had to get him to take his company and his money back before I ended up ruining him sooner, rather than later. And I had to do it while I still had the mindset to do the right thing.
These feelings were starting to strangle my heart, and I couldn't take it anymore.
“Jacob, I don't want the money. Can you please draw up the papers so I can give up ownership. Please, can you do that?”
He searched my face and brushed his thumb along my lips. “I can do that, but can you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
“Can you stay and let me take care of you, Leah? Stay, and stop running from me.”
More than ever, I knew what I needed to do. I didn't deserve his love. I would only end up hurting him the longer I stayed in his life.
I knew I would end up destroying him in the end. I needed to be the one to let him go.
I gave him a smile. “Yes. I will. Now please, take the handcuffs off of me and draw up the papers,” I lied.
“Okay. I love you, Leah,” he said, before bringing his lips to meet mine in a kiss so tender and full of devotion, it brought me to tears.
“I love you, too, Jacob.”
More than you'll ever know, I thought, as he finally released me from my handcuffs.
***
I found my purse and quickly gathered what little things of mine that Jacob had transferred to the guest house.
Then I took two sheets of paper out.
I wrote a note to Danny first. I told him how much I loved him, and told him that Jacob would take care of him. I asked him not to hate me and to try and understand that this was for the best.
I told him how sorry I was, and I asked for his forgiveness.
The next letter was by far, the hardest one I'd ever written.
I highly doubt it would hold up in court, but I had to take my chances. I wrote a letter signing over custody to Jacob. I knew he had the money to make it stick. I knew he would stop at nothing to make it happen.
I knew he loved me enough to do that for me.
Then, I braced myself for the hardest conversation I would ever have in my life.
I needed him to let me go. I had to make him understand that it would be for the best. I loved him enough to do this.
He deserved much more than an unworthy heroin addict, one who had a more than troublesome past that she kept trying to escape from.
I would only end up ruining him, as well as myself. I wasn't willing to take that chance.
Jacob walked into the guest house an hour later with a contract in his hand. I immediately snatched it and signed it without even reading it.
He eyed me suspiciously. “What are you doing? Why are you in such a rush? Aren't you even going to read it?”
“No. I don't want to. I really need you to listen to me. I need you to take over custody of Danny, please. I'm sorry I lied to you before, but I can't stay. You deserve more than me, Jacob. So much more than me. I hope you find it one day—" I started, before he cut me off.
“I've told you. You are all I want. Please, stay with me.” He got down on his knees, which only made the tears fall down my face harder. “Do I have to beg you? Because I will.”
“Stop. Nothing you say or do will make me stay with you. I love you and I want you. I always will, but I want something else just as much now. I don't care that it will ruin me, it doesn't matter because I need it.”
I put my hand on his cheek. “I need it more than I need you now, I'm sorry. There's nothing you can do—it's out of your control, Jacob. I will always be running from you because I will always be chasing that escape.”
I closed my eyes. “Please, don't let me put you or my brother through that. He's already been put through enough. You've already been put through enough. I need you to let me go—even though you don't want to. I need you to let me go because it's what I truly want. If you love me like you claim you do, that's how you can show me. That's how you can prove it to me. I won't believe you any other way. Please, love me enough to let me go.”
He looked up at me, his expression full of torment and anguish. It shattered me because I knew I was breaking his heart at that moment. I knew I was scaring his soul.
In time, I hoped that he would heal and it would repair itself, though—I was counting on it.