by Ashley Jade
“I love you, Leah—more than you'll ever know.” He bowed his head, still on his knees. “If that's what you truly want and need—then fine. I'll finally stop chasing you. I'll let you go..."
I didn’t waste another second. I ran out the door and continued running.
Part Two
One Year Later…
Chapter 29 (Jacob)
I watch as he opens his eyes in shock. “Happy birthday, Danny,” I say.
Yea, I got the kid a Porsche for his 16th birthday. It was the least I could do, especially since I knew his sister wasn't going to be picking up the telephone and calling him anytime soon.
He gives me a hug. “Shit, Jacob! Thanks, man. I don't even have the words.”
“Just make sure you don't crash the damn thing. I'll take you out for a spin later on and teach you how to drive it. Now come on inside. Lillian made you a cake, and you know she'll bitch if we don't eat it all."
We head back inside and take a seat at the dining room table.
We sing happy birthday, and Lillian ooh's and ahh's over him before she cuts him a huge piece of cake.
“So, have you heard from her?” Danny asks, pulling on whatever heart strings I still have left.
I tell him the same lie that I’ve been telling him for the last year.
“Nope, sorry, Danny. They really don't have access to telephone's in the doctors without borders program. I know she misses you, though.”
He gives me a look that tells me he’s unconvinced of my statement.
He was going to catch on soon—especially since a whole year had gone by now.
Sooner or later he was going to figure everything out—and I was going to have to give him Leah's letter.
I secretly hoped during the first three months that she would realize she made a mistake and return to us, but of course, she never did.
So, in an effort to preserve Danny and Leah’s relationship—I just decided to continue to lie about Leah being stuck in some third world country, helping victims of hurricanes and other worldly disasters. I told him she’d been contacted with a last minute opening, and it was something she really wanted and needed to do.
Because I certainly didn't have the heart—what little of it still remained; to tell him that his big sister whom he’d always looked up to, was now a heroin addict turned stripper.
That would destroy him.
It sure as fuck destroyed me.
****
I'll never forget that night I saw her six months ago. Lillian had finally spilled the beans about what Leah had been up to. I knew she talked to her from time to time, I was actually grateful for it.
It was a relief, to say the least, to hear that she wasn't found dead in an alley somewhere, with a needle in her arm. Especially after I found out that she was arrested and had her license to practice medicine revoked.
I pulled some strings and got the charge off of her permanent record—but there wasn't enough money or strings in the world to pull; to save her medical license.
I decided to see for myself what she’d been up to. I had a hard time accepting that my uptight, high strung, ’little miss. perfect’ doctor—was now a stripper.
I needed to see it with my own eyes.
But I wish more than ever now, that I hadn't.
I sat in the back and ordered a drink from the pretty and busty redheaded waitress.
Not that my dick ever got hard for anyone but Leah anymore— but if it ever decided to start cooperating again, I knew I could have her legs in the air in under five minutes. Three, if I actually put some effort into the endeavor.
“Gentleman, put your hands together and give a nice round of applause for, ‘Doctor Feel Good’,” the announcer called out as everyone in the club cheered.
I swallowed hard and tried not to throw up my dinner.
“Yeah man, this chick's pussy is the best I've ever had. She fucks like a stallion,” some guy yelled as he gave a high five to his buddy.
I fought the urge to go over there and pummel his drunk ass into next week. If I wasn't trying to be such a good role model for Danny, I would have relished in it.
However, I knew I couldn't give into those urges. I refused to set a bad example for him. I wouldn't let Danny become what my father made me become.
Well, before I met Leah that is.
Instead, I closed my eyes and tried not to think back to when I’d said those exact words to her.
Just when I was deciding that this was, in fact; a horrible idea—I saw her walk out on stage.
She wore more makeup than the Leah I knew, ever did.
She’d also dropped a few pounds. She’d always been slender, but still had some stunning curves where it counted—but not anymore.
She was still just as gorgeous and captivating as ever—at least all the heroin hadn't ruined that…yet.
However, with the way she was using her looks and her body to make a living, I found myself wishing that it would happen sooner rather than later.
She walked onto the stage looking over-confident and determined.
Traits that I'd never seen from her before.
Clearly, she had found some sick sort of self-esteem now.
She tossed her lab coat to the crowd, let down her long hair, and the crowd cheered.
Then, she took her first spin around the pole.
I fought the urge to grab her, bend her over my knee, and spank her behind until it was red with my hand print.
She soon shimmied out of her sparkly bra top and gyrated her hips toward the crowd.
I’d seen more than enough.
I was gone by the time she took her second spin around the pole.
****
“Okay. You guys would tell me if you've heard from her, though, right?” Danny asks, bringing me out of my thoughts.
Lillian and I nod our heads in unison and he finished off the last of his cake.
Chapter 30 (Leah)
“You were magnificent tonight, baby. Everyone in the crowd wanted you, even the chicks,” my manager says as he tosses me the rest of my earnings for the night.
I laugh. “Well, what can I say? I dressed to impress.”
“Your boyfriend's waiting out front for you. He said he's in a rush—so shake a leg.”
I turn my attention back to the mirror and proceed to wipe off my pound of makeup. “He's not my boyfriend but thanks, Toni. Tell him I'll be out in a minute.”
Nope, my drug dealer certainly was not my boyfriend.
Although, I had no problem letting him think he was whenever it suited him. He gave me extra shit when I did that.
I'd never let any man claim me again. Because I know damn well who my heart still belonged to.
I rub my temples. Feeling grateful that Lillian had finally stopped showing up to the club lately.
It was awkward, to say the least, having a 70-year-old women show up to a strip club—wag her finger in your face; while telling you to eat something and stop acting like a cheap floozy.
She meant well, but I couldn’t stop, no matter how much a part of me wants to. Stripping was a last resort when I found myself all out of options.
I had nowhere to go—and absolutely no one to run to. If I’m being honest with myself, I never really did in the first place.
With the exception of Jacob, of course.
But I can’t go back to Jacob. Besides, he wouldn't want me anymore anyway—and I can't say that I’d blame him either.
At least he was taking care of Danny, something I was more than thankful for.
I received the official paper's transferring custody over to him around 6 months ago, and I happily signed.
Then, I shot up seven bags of dope and almost ended up overdosing.
Luckily, my drug dealer turned pseudo boyfriend; Pauly, was there to help me through it.
I went on a huge bender that weekend. So much so, I still don't even remember half of it.
“Doll face, let's go,” Pauly's voice interrupts
me from the other side of the door, bringing me out of my thoughts.
I walk out to greet him. “Coming. You got the stuff?”
He pulls me into an embrace. “Yeah, babe, you know it. I got some new stuff for you to try. Shits fire. It will make you forget your own name, I swear.”
“Sounds like my kind of escape...let's go.”
Chapter 31 (Jacob)
“Okay. We're on it. I'll find the asshole and take care of it. He won't be a problem for long. Tell the family to contact me with anything else that they may need.” I pause and stare at my checkbook. “Also, send them a check for the girls medical and psychological needs," I say, before hanging up the phone.
It feels good to be doing something that I’m so passionate about. That's for damn sure.
Too bad Leah will never be apart of it because she would have loved this. Especially the name I chose —Jamie's Spot.
I wish I got the chance to explain to her, that I’d started a not-for-profit company with all the money from Sand Corp.
That's why I fought so hard to keep it from her asshole father's hands in the first place.
I used the prestigious security software that I invented, as well as the money from Sand Corp, to start tracking down pedophiles and help all the victims. In addition to helping prevent anyone from becoming a potential victim in the first place.
I’d even recently developed new software and technology that made it even easier to track the bastards down now.
The first person I saved via the new software— ironically enough, was Leah.
She wasn't a minor, obviously; but using the software’s how I found out that she was, in fact, being ‘auctioned off’ and sold—and that her father had intended to keep making that a daily occurrence.
Over my dead body, literally and figuratively.
If Leah hadn't tipped me off about Mark, I would have been the one with a bullet through my skull, instead of those two motherfuckers.
I almost didn't figure it out in time, because all I heard was her saying that she loved me that day in the woods.
That phone call with her sure as fuck brought me back to reality. She saved my life.
And it kills me every day that I couldn't save her in time from becoming a heroin addict.
It gnaws at my soul every goddamned day. It’s my first thought when I wake in the morning and before I close my eyes at night.
I had to act like a sleuth back then, though.
If I moved any faster Luke would have suspected something, one wrong move and Leah's life was at stake. I couldn't afford any potential setbacks.
Even the two undercover FBI agents I hired privately were nervous about my plan. They wanted me to wait even longer to make sure it all went off without a hitch.
But every time I talked to her on the phone, she sounded worse—and I realized that he was going to kill her soon if I didn't act fast.
Little did I know, she would pretty much end up as good as dead anyway.
I thought I could save her from her heroin addiction.
Clearly, I must have been high myself, to think I could pull off something like that.
I thought love was enough.
It was enough for me—it saved me from my addiction.
I'd never been in love with anyone before Leah.
I thought, I was my father, despite his disgusting perversion, through and through. But she changed all that.
She brought out a side of me that I hadn't experienced since my mother was still alive.
I even gave up my nightly escorts and supermodel’s. I thought it would be difficult, but it was surprisingly easy.
Despite how crazy she made me, loving Leah was surprisingly easy and more than worth it for me to give up my bad habits.
She changed me—she was the one I’d been waiting for all my life and I didn’t even know it.
She made me the person I was supposed to be. The one my mother raised me to be, before my father's influence.
She was the woman who unlocked my cold, dark, hardened heart—and made real, genuine feelings pour out of it.
I fought them like hell at first, but there's no way you can fight a storm like real, first time, love.
She tamed the beast—and brought it to the surface...at the same damn time.
I still hadn't even cracked the surface with all of my sexual desires regarding her. I was still trying to romance her, keep the beast in check, and sweep her off her feet.
Besides, how could I back then? Especially, after everything that she had already been put through.
Something told me, that she still would have been a willing participant—not that she would have had a choice either way.
Neither one of us could get in the way of our unyielding animal attraction, desire, or, at least on my end, anyway—love for one another.
I would have chased her all over this fucking earth and back again.
Unfortunately, you just can't chase a heroin addict.
It's too soul crushing because you always know exactly where it is they will end up.
Chapter 32 (Leah)
“Oh, god. The way you fuck makes my fucking dick hurt so good,” Pauly cries out before he proceeds to come all over my backside.
I roll my eyes and pray that he won’t want another round before he finally lets me test his new shit out.
He sighs and falls back against the couch.
The very same couch in my old dingy office—now converted to a place where I rest my head when it suits me.
It’s convenient, seeing as my job is now down the block and the streets are loaded with drug dealers.
Unfortunately, I was forced to remove the plaque on the door that read—Dr. Leah Adams MD, Ph.D.
One of the hardest days of my life—besides giving up custody of Danny.
Pauly had this bright idea to start writing him scripts for Roxy’s and Oxycontin.
I obviously went along with it, and of course, took quite a few for myself.
Unfortunately, I was so zonked out of my mind, I wrote myself a prescription for 5,000 of them, and soon the DEA was up my ass.
They came to my office and found out that it was not medicine that I was practicing—but that I myself, was actively practicing the art of heroin addiction.
Hell, they walked in right as I shot up.
Thank god for that- because I would have hated to be dope sick in jail.
Luckily, the fact that I still had my mother's looks, for the time being anyway, made sure that never happened.
Dealer’s were always willing to give moderately attractive girls a few hits for free. In exchange for other stuff, of course. And I certainly never wanted to feel dope sick again.
I never wanted to feel anything again...period.
I wasn't even embarrassed when they arrested me. I actually offered the cop a blowjob.
However, I didn't realize that she—was a female...Oops.
After my surprisingly brief time in the tank, I found out who it was that bailed me out—Lillian.
She told me that Jacob had taken care of the worst of it, but he couldn't get my medical license back. I told her to tell him thank you for me, but she wagged her finger in front of my face again, and said that I should thank him myself.
I politely declined, speaking to Jacob would be way too difficult.
She then offered to put me in rehab and told me everything would all work out. I quickly declined her offer, yet again.
So, she bought me a sandwich and cried on my shoulder—I cried with her.
I hated hurting her. I hated hurting Danny. I hated hurting Jacob.
But, I knew that I would only hurt them more if I was actually in their life.
I mean, look what I was doing to poor Lillian for crying out loud. I was breaking her heart every single fucking day.
She finally came to her senses, because that was the last time she came to see me again, and I more than understood.
“Babycakes,” Pauly says and I snap my
head up. ”If you want that new shit, it's in my coat pocket. Help yourself. Don't take more than 4 bags, though, shits strong as fuck.” He gives me a suggestive look and I inwardly cringe. “I'm gonna take a little nap. When I get up, be ready for another round."
I wait until I hear him start snoring.
Then I take out 8 bags and proceed to shoot them all up, right on the spot; because 4 wasn't going to be enough to get rid of the pain.
And that's the only thing that mattered to me anymore.
Chapter 33 (Jacob)
Danny looks up from his dinner plate. “Do you think she'll ever come back, Jacob?”
Fuck, it was getting harder and harder to lie to this kid. Maybe I should just come clean.
I glance over to Lillian, she nods her head, telling me that she thinks it’s time.
I pull the letter out of my pocket and hand it to Danny.
He reads it and appears confused, understandably.
He shakes his head. “Why would she ask for my forgiveness? Why would she think I would ever hate her? Especially when she's been fighting to save people's lives.”
I draw in a deep breath. Man, this is going to suck.
I really wish that Leah would have had the balls to tell him the truth herself. Instead, she was making me do her dirty work for her.
“Your sister is sick, Danny. She's not well. When your father took her, he did something really bad to her. He got her into something that's really hard to get out of. Something that you need to want to get out of yourself. Something that your sister's just not ready to get out of —" I start before he cuts me off.
“Give it to me straight. I can take it. I need to know about my sister.”
I hear Lillian softly sobbing in the background and I have to steel myself so I don’t lose it. “She's into drugs. Bad ones, Danny. The kind that destroys a person.”
Danny springs up from his chair so hard in falls to the ground. “So, she turned into a junkie, like my mom? I fucking knew it. I knew something was wrong. I thought she loved me.”