The Best Deception (New Edition)

by Ashley Jade

  He takes a step toward the door and looks over his shoulder. “Just don't make me regret it, Leah.”

  I don’t have time to reassure him because that's when Pauly decides to barge right through my door.

  Shit, talk about beyond awkward.

  “Hey, doll face...what's up?” he exclaims, taking a step forward as Jacob subtly takes a step back toward me. “You haven't been returning my phone calls. You haven't shown up for your shift at work. I've been looking all around for you. Where the hell ya been, babe?"

  He has got to be kidding me. I inwardly groan, because this is Pauly, so of course, he’s being serious.

  “Well, the last time you saw me—” I begin. “You were rolling me out of your car and out onto the hospital pavement—before you sped off.” I raise my chin and look at him. “You know, basically, ditching me as I overdosed. Thanks for that by the way.”

  I shrug. “Anyway, I'm clean now. I went to rehab. Sorry, I haven't been returning your calls but I just think it's better that way."

  Jacob leans against my desk, crosses his arms and stares Pauly down.

  Pauly doesn’t seem to care or notice because he takes another step forward. “Honey, baby. Come on.” He holds his hands up. “Don't be mad at me, beautiful. I only ditched you cuz I had all that shit on me. You know how it is.”

  He waves a hand and laughs. “Besides, I knew you would be fine. I was the one who drove you to the hospital after all. You lived. Anyway, I got some brand new shit for you to try—"

  Before I can register what’s happening, Jacob walks across the room and grabs him by his throat.

  It all happens so fast, I don't even have time to react.

  “Get the fuck out, motherfucker. You are never, and I mean never, to look at, or talk to her again,” he growls low and deadly. “You fucking left her to die—and now you want to tempt her to put that shit in her veins again?” He slams him against the wall. “Over my dead body. I will fucking kill you before I ever let that happen again."

  Jacob then punches him so hard in the face, I know without a shadow of a doubt that he broke his nose. I stand there in shock when he knees him in the ribs and Pauly falls against the wall before dropping to the floor like a display of dominoes.

  My hands fly up to my face and I gape as Jacob proceeds to literally kick Pauly out of my office, before locking the door behind him.

  I’m not mad at him, though. I’m stunned and well, thankful.

  “Thanks—” I start to say, before he cuts me off.

  “Maybe Lillian is right. This place is a dump. You can't stay here, Leah. Not if you want to remain clean. Everyone knows this place, and it's a trigger for you.” He begins pacing. “You can get drugs anytime you want if you stay here, especially if you're stressed out or something.”

  He stops pacing and scrubs a hand down his face. “Fuck, but I made a promise to your brother."

  I don’t know what’s going through Jacob’s head, but I certainly don’t want him hurting Danny, especially over me.

  Lord knows, I've done enough of that already. I need to put a stop to this pity train.

  Besides, the truth of the matter is, whether living in a dangerous neighborhood or not...an addict can always score drugs if they want them bad enough.

  I just have to have the inner strength and willpower to keep resisting.

  “Jacob. It's okay. I'm fine. I will get through it,” I assure him. “I told you, I have too much at stake now to go back to that. It's hard, I can't lie—but it's not hard enough that I want to go back to using. I'll make it. I have no choice but to make it."

  He looks at me, his gaze is intense and so set, I don’t know what to make of it.

  However, the next words out of his mouth, cause me to have to sit back down in my chair so I don’t faint.

  “Live with me. Not in my house, but in the guest house,” he says. “This way, I'm not breaking my promise to your brother. It has a separate entrance on the other side, so you won't run into him accidentally. You can also see Lillian whenever you want, and she can keep an eye on you. And it will be easier for you to work from there, rather than here.” His nostrils flare. “Get rid of this shit hole, Leah. I'm not giving you an option.”

  I suck in a breath, unsure of what to say. On one hand, it would be a good solution.

  But on the other? What if Danny accidentally saw me? It would ruin his relationship with Jacob and I can’t let that happen.

  “I'm sorry, but no,” I say. “I don't want Danny to see me until he's ready. And I don't want you to feel like you have to hide something from him, either. I thank you for the offer. I mean, yeah a part of me really wants to take it— but I've already screwed up enough things for the both of you. I don’t need to add this to the pile."

  The look he shoots me tells me that my response is unacceptable to him. “Leah, it's non-negotiable. I'm positive, that if your brother knew the circumstances, he would understand. Just try to remain scarce, until he's ready. I know it's not ideal by any means, but it's better than this place.”

  He looks around the room. “Pack your shit. Let's go."

  Before I can protest, he begins gathering various things and stacking them.

  As usual, I have no choice in the manner.

  But, unlike in the past, I'm grateful for it.

  My choices only lead to lives being ruined, and the people I love being hurt.

  So, maybe it’s best to just hand Jacob the reins and let him take the control for a little while.

  Chapter 41 (Jacob)

  Okay, so I caved. But I don't regret it. Especially after that good for nothing, piece of shit walked through her door.

  He fucking left her to die, she coded three times—and he acted like it was no big deal. He acted like he did her a favor by rolling her onto the pavement of a hospital and leaving her for dead.

  Leah is the absolute best woman that he can ever hope to get in his lousy lifetime.

  The fucker hit the jackpot the day he met a beautiful woman who happened to be a doctor turned drug addict—and he fucking knew it.

  Just like I know that he’ll never leave her alone.

  That's why I bought her a new phone, deleted his number from her contacts and had her number changed. I’m not taking any chances.

  She’s made it seventeen whole days and still hasn't given in, all while living in that fucking neighborhood —and all while dealing with the fact that her brother doesn’t even want to see her.

  Damn, I have to give her credit. Not a lot...but some.

  It shows me that she may in fact, actually be serious about her sobriety, even more so when I stop and think about the fact that she makes sure to attend a meeting once a day, every day.

  Lillian assured me.

  And I have to say, it’s a big step.

  Only time will tell, but it’s the first big notch in my book.

  I grab the back of my neck and roll my shoulders. I have to fight the urge to track down that son of a bitch and let him have it again.

  Christ, that shithead needs to be gone from her life for good, and I’m so fucking glad to be the one who gets to make that happen.

  Especially when I recognized his voice.

  He was the one who yelled that shit out at the club that night.

  He fucked my woman.

  Even if she wasn't mine anymore at the time. That was still mine…first.

  My cock twitches at that thought. Goddamn, I wanted to make her mine again when she wrapped her arms around me today.

  My cock instantly got hard and I tried not to breathe in her vanilla and lavender scent that always drove me crazy.

  Hell, everything about her drove me crazy.

  And if I’m being honest, it still does.

  I look up from my computer just as Lillian sticks her head inside my office. “She's in the guest house now, Lillian. But don't say anything to Danny about it yet. And make sure she still gets to a meeting once a day. I set her up with a job answering phones f
or Jamie's Spot. I also made her change her number so her old drug dealers can't contact her anymore."

  She smiles at me and I can’t help but smile back.

  I know she thinks I’m doing the right thing. And we both know it’s something my mother would have definitely approved of.

  “She would be proud of you, Jacob,” she says, before leaving my office.

  ****

  “So have you talked to her at all?” Danny inquires over dinner that night.

  I don't want to lie to the kid, so, I tell him the truth.

  “Yeah. We talked, she's still clean. She's doing much better now.”

  He looks at me and grins. “That's good. I'm really happy to hear that. I'm still not ready to see her, yet but if she keeps it up, I'll come around.”

  I smile back and fight the pang in my heart because I know exactly how he’s feeling.

  And I need to get control over it, fast.

  What Leah did isn’t exactly unforgivable—but it’s certainly un-fixable. At least, in regards to me, it is.

  Because unlike Danny forgiving his sister and him and Leah repairing their relationship, I know that Leah and I can never rekindle our romantic one.

  Nothing changes the fact that she hurt me beyond all repair.

  We can never be together again, at least, not in the same way we were in the past.

  No matter how much thoughts of her still constantly keep me awake at night. And not just thoughts if her alone, thoughts of us and what we could have been.

  I have force my heart to turn cold when it comes to those thoughts now.

  Plus, I still have this overwhelming urge to punish her—but at the same time I find myself wanting to protect her and take care of her.

  Mostly, I want her to know what it’s like to lose all the control. I want her to know what it feels like when someone takes all your power away from you. Like she did to me.

  But ultimately, I just want to punish her, because she took a fucking bulldozer to my heart and demolished me, and yet; I still love her.

  My god, I still fucking love her, even after all she’s done. How fucked up is that?

  And I still want to make her mine and own every single part of her, even though I know I can't let her back in my heart again.

  My mother once told me that there was an enormous amount of strength in the ability to love someone unconditionally, but now I realize that she couldn’t have been more wrong—because loving Leah is my weakness and there’s no doubt in my mind that she’ll wield her power and use it to hurt me again.

  And I’ll never be able to trust her not to.

  Chapter 42 (Leah)

  I thought it would be pretty awkward living in Jacob's guest house.

  But so far, at least for the past five days, it hasn’t been.

  It helps me keep focus.

  Lillian also takes me to my meetings and even sits in on them with me now.

  I had asked her if she would be willing to go with me and told her my reason behind it.

  You see, sometimes undercover drug dealers would pretend to be in recovery, all so they could rope addicts back in and make a profit.

  I noticed it after attending my first few meetings all by myself and even eavesdropped on a conversation happening outside during a smoke break.

  The scariest thing about it? The person pressuring the former addict was supposed to be a sponsor.

  I went up one side of the guy and down the other, so much so, the other former addicts gave me a round of applause. It was the first time I’d ever spoken up at a meeting.

  I still haven’t found my own sponsor yet, because seeing that really screwed with my head. Luckily, once I told Lillian what happened, she happily agreed to go with me until I found a sponsor. She wants to make sure that no one would pressure me after the meetings.

  The thought of that happening and me not being able to turn it down, made me sick—sick and nervous. Especially since the pain of Danny still not wanting to see or hear from me, continues to rip at my heart.

  Not that I’m in danger of relapsing, my willpower has yet to begin fading. And if it ever does? I’ll be sure to remind myself that I love that kid more than my own life.

  Hell, I loved him enough to save my damn life.

  I say a silent prayer every single day that he’ll learn to forgive me. I say a silent prayer every day that he’ll realize just how much I love him and how truly sorry I am—him and Jacob.

  Not that I've seen much of Jacob lately.

  He only pops his head in once a day to ask me how I’m doing. I always tell him that I’m doing well, and he always gives me the same small nod before walking out the door.

  I’d be lying if I said it didn’t kill me to see him walking out that door.

  It kills me, the way it must have killed him all those times that I did.

  A big part of me wants to tell him that I’d do anything for another chance with him. I want him to know that I’d do anything to take all the pain away—the pain that I caused.

  Taking a deep breath, I change into my running clothes and start my morning jog.

  I missed my daily runs and now that I’m back in my old neighborhood, it feels good to be able to start them again.

  When I reach Jamie's spot, I’m surprised to find that someone has planted a few rose bushes around it. And not only have they kept up with everything I put there, they also planted some lily of the valley flowers all around. The same white flowers I used for her wreath.

  I stand back in awe because it’s absolutely breathtaking, just like Jamie was.

  Something tells me that it's Jacob who's responsible for all this and that only makes me love him even more, if possible.

  I sit on the ground and talk to Jamie for what feels like hours. We have a lot of catching up to do.

  Tears stream down my face, but this time, it’s a healthy release. I know she’s here with me. I know she’s listening.

  I blow her a kiss and get up off the ground.

  That's when I notice Jacob, looking down at me.

  He looks both sad and uncomfortable and he’s standing there with a small bouquet of Lily of the valleys. I’d chosen Lily of the valley’s for Jamie’s Spot because not only are they my personal favorite, but they also represent innocence and sweetness—it’s also the birth month flower for May, the month Jamie was born.

  It strikes me as a little odd to see him here at the moment. I know that he’s usually a night time runner, and it’s mid morning now.

  That's when it hits me that he must come here to talk to her now, he even comes by in the mornings just like I used to. He didn't want her to be alone, he knew how much she meant to me.

  Although for very different reasons, I know that Jamie’s death haunts him just like it haunts me. It can't be easy for him to come here every day, but still he does.

  I wipe the dirt off my knees and look at him again.

  He takes a step forward. “I figured you would have come here sooner or later.” He hands me the flowers. “Here. Sorry to bother you.”

  “I needed to talk to her. It’s been too long, it was time.”

  He nods and takes a sip from his water bottle. “Sorry to disturb you. I'll just come back later.”

  I inhale the flowers. “These are my favorite,” I say halting him.

  His jaw works. “Yeah, Leah. I know.”

  I give him a smile and hand him back the bouquet. “You know, some people believe they signify the return of happiness.”

  I’m hoping he doesn’t overlook the real meaning behind my words. This is me letting him know that I want to be with him again. I honestly think we can be happy together if he would just give me another chance.

  The muscle in his neck twitches and his eyes burn into me. “That may be true...but they’re also highly poisonous.” His eyes scrape up and down my body. “Every part of the flower is poisonous.”

  I rear back as though I’ve been burned. The pang of emotion that goes through my heart wh
en he says that almost causes me to fall on my ass.

  For a moment, he almost looks regretful, but then he turns on his heels and begins making his way out of the woods.

  I lay the flowers down by Jamie’s spot and run to catch up with him. “Thanks for keeping up with her spot. Thank you for planting flowers, even though you obviously despise them. Thank you for everything, Jacob.”

  He shakes his head as we continue our run. “I never said I despise them.” He looks at me out of the corner of his eye. “I think they’re quite beautiful. Maybe even the most beautiful flower I’ve ever seen. Still doesn’t change facts, though.” He sighs. “And you're welcome. I mean, no—you don't have to thank me, Leah. I did it because I wanted to.”

  I can't help it. I grab his arm to stop him from running and pull him into a hug.

  Since it’s the only physical touch he'll probably ever allow me to have with him again, I need it as much as the air I breathe.

  He pulls me into a tight embrace. Much tighter than I expected, like the hug, was more for him, instead of me.

  “I'm glad you're jogging again. I always told you that you had one fantastic ass. I was sad to see it disappear, but it looks like it's back now."

  He pulls away slightly and I see that his signature cocky smile is splashed across his face, making my heart drop down to my vagina and beat.

  Good grief, he really is walking sex . Sex that I’ll do anything to experience again.

  I laugh and we continue our jog home. All I can think is- damn, how I miss his cocky pickup lines and dirty talk. Scratch that, I miss his cock...period.

  I watch as he jogs ahead of me, making his way into the backyard, heading for the guesthouse.

  He stops before entering and turns, waiting for me to catch up.

  I try not to notice the way he’s eyeing my body like a hawk and undressing me with his eyes.

  The new slickness I was suddenly feeling, certainly wasn't sweat.

  The corner of his lips twitch when I reach him, leading me to believe he knows darn well the effect he still has on me. “I just want to pick up the paperwork regarding any new leads.”