“Shit, Alice.” Ian kissed her lightly. “It’s not your fault.”
“It is,” she said. “I’m an angel of life, and I couldn’t save my own mother. What kind of angel am I?” She looked at him. “Do you know I’ve never been able to save anything in my life? Not even a bug. If they are dying around me, I can’t help them. Not even if it’s as simple as handing someone an EpiPen for an allergic reaction. I can’t do anything.” She pressed her hand to her forehead, trying not to let the memories overwhelm her. She didn’t know how she was telling him, why this time, for the first time in her life, she could talk about these things, but it felt desperately good to be able to share it. To admit her failures to a man who she knew wouldn’t judge her.
And he didn’t. He simply kissed her nose and rested his forehead against hers, in an intimate, private gesture between two people who have no secrets from each other.
For a long moment, neither of them said anything. Ian gently rubbed her shoulders, his heavy weight comforting on top of her. “How does this relate to the fact you can’t connect with me?”
Her arm began to itch, and she absently rubbed it. “As an angel of life, I’m bound by rules that don’t apply to other angels. Our gift of being able to restore life is too powerful and too dangerous. If we get emotionally invested in someone, it can obscure our judgment and make us choose to interfere when we shouldn’t. We can’t save lives just because it suits us. We have to be driven by the greater good, by forces bigger than us.”
He lifted his head. “The greater good?”
She smiled faintly. “I guess that sounds like your mission, doesn’t it?” The itch on her arm became more intense, and she scratched it restlessly. “If you love someone, you will do anything to save them, so we can’t love. We can’t connect. We can’t share secrets. No bonding. It’s against the rules, but in addition, we literally can’t do it.”
Ian studied her. “But you just did it. You shared with me.”
She nodded and took a deep breath. “I know. I’ve never been able to do that before.” She managed a shy smile. “It felt good.”
He grinned. “Aye, it did. Must be because my allure is so compelling that you can’t hold yourself back from me anymore.”
She smiled at his silliness. “Yes, that must be it. Your animal magnetism.”
He shrugged. “I’m a raging inferno of manliness. Things like this happen from time to time.”
“Well, it feels good. Really good. But why am I even constrained by these stupid rules?” Her arm was burning now, and she dug her fingernails into it, trying to get relief. “I can’t save anyone anyway, so what would it matter if I fell in love with the world? I couldn’t save them even if I wanted to— Argh!” She shook out her arm. “I think I got a bug bite or something—”
Ian’s eyes narrowed. “Your arm hurts?”
“Yes—”
He grabbed her wrist and placed his hand on her skin. A look of raw possession filled his face. “It’s hot. Feel it?” He splayed her palm over her forearm, and she felt the intense heat emanating from her skin.
“What is it?” She propped herself up on her elbows, looking at it. “There’s no mark—”
“Not on the surface, no.” But there was an edge of excitement to Ian’s voice. “But it’s beneath the surface, trying to form.” He raised her arm to his mouth and pressed his lips against the burning flesh. It didn’t cool it. It just made it hotter and more uncomfortable. “One of the stages of the bond is trust,” he said. “It has two parts—you trusting me, and me trusting you. When you told me the story of your past and your inability to save your mother, you shared your darkest secret with me. It satisfied your half of the trust stage. We’ve done two and a half stages so far. Halfway there.”
She caught her breath. “Telling a secret satisfies the trust stage?”
“Yes. It can be that, or giving the other one the power to kill you and trusting them not to actually do it.” He grinned. “We’re bonding, Alice. The mark is there, beneath your skin, and it’s trying to get out.”
Alice rubbed the mark. “That would be a bad thing, Ian.”
“Why?” He was suddenly looming over her, frustration etched on his face. “Tell me why it’s so damn wrong for us to bond.”
“You mean, other than the deadly sheva destiny?” Because even assuming that all the angel stuff could be worked out, that was still a major problem.
“Yeah. Why else? Because I’m not buying that you’re thinking about that right now.”
She met his gaze. “Because angels who break the rules are stripped of their powers and thrust into exile. If I go far enough astray, I will become the Mageaan.” She held up her hand, showing him the tiny gray mark on her palm that she’d noticed. “I’ve already started to fall.”
*
I’ve already started to fall.
Alice’s words reverberated in Ian’s mind as he sat on the edge of the cot the next morning. Alice was still sleeping, but he had his weapons out. He was ready for Jada to come for them.
After Alice’s revelation that his need to connect with her might drive her into the hell beneath the ocean, he’d shut it down for the night between them. There was no way he could take responsibility for turning her into a Mageaan. He’d just have to man-up and allow her to keep her angel secrets.
But shit, her story about her childhood still bothered him. There was no doubt Alice had learned her lessons well. The fear of making a wrong step dogged her constantly, and he didn’t like that. Fear was hell. What angels taught fear? After his bout with the Mageaan and hearing the story of training she’d gotten as a kid, Ian was beginning to suspect that angels were like any other beings: some of them were good, quality people, and some of them were bad seeds whose influence was like the rot of poison infecting the world.
He thought of Ryland’s obsession with angels, and wondered what he would think of the truth that not all angels were perfect.
Ian twirled his mace restlessly, wanting Jada to show up and get this thing going. Sitting on a bed beside Alice wasn’t good for either of them, which is why he’d dragged himself out of the bed when he’d made the inconceivable decision not to make love to her.
Once he’d removed himself from temptation, Alice had slept hard, but restlessly, calling out repeatedly for someone to save her mother, her cries desperate and agonized, until he felt his own heart ache for her pain. He’d hit the floor and gone into his healing sleep long enough to chase away the worst of the damage. Afterward, he’d spent the rest of the night alternating between comforting her in her sleep and preparing for the morning.
He also hadn’t missed her comment about how she had met Catherine when they were at the encampment. She’d said they’d become good friends, which was different than how she would have described a sister. Alice had been so caught in the story that she hadn’t noticed her slip, but he had. Catherine was not her sister, despite Alice’s claims. It made him rethink all that had happened between them. What exactly was her deal?
The day he’d first met Alice, when she’d fallen off the cliff and Elijah had struck her down, she’d been carrying a wallet with Catherine Taylor’s driver’s license in it. The picture had been tattered, making it difficult to get a clear read on the visual, so he’d assumed the license he’d found belonged to the woman who’d been carrying it: Catherine Taylor.
Yet last time he’d met her, before she died, she’d told him that Catherine was her sister, and her name was Alice Shaw.
Last night, she’d revealed that Catherine was not her sister, but a friend who had witnessed carnage with her.
Too many tangled threads intersecting. Too many secrets she was trying to keep track of.
Ian studied the woman sleeping beside him. After the unsettled night, her face was finally relaxed in sleep, and there were no lines of stress or tension. Her auburn hair was spread over the pillow like an autumn halo around her head. Her lips were soft pink perfection, the skin on her throat delicat
e and tempting. In this moment, she looked every bit an angel. Was it really possible that she could end up as a Mageaan?
After a moment, Ian sheathed one of his maces into his arm, and he spread his palm over her heart, pushing aside the tank top so he could feel her skin beneath his. Her heart beat in a steady rhythm, and he closed his eyes, opening his mind to her. Asleep, her defenses were lowered, and he was able to easily slip past her barriers into her mind. It was a cascade of brilliant, vibrant colors. High-pitched, warm energy flowed through him, the spirit of a warrior with a pure soul.
He saw no poison, no taint. Just a woman filled with fear, passion, guilt, and intense determination. There was nothing to explain why she couldn’t fulfill her duty as an angel of life. No sign of the walls that she claimed bound her against her will. There was nothing foreign inside her. Simply her spirit, along with the deep-seated protections that were hers alone. Deep, deep fear that was almost paralyzing in its intensity. But her spirit wasn’t the unfettered simplicity of an angel. There was so much more to her: a complexity and depth that he suspected an angel wasn’t supposed to have. What are you really, Alice? What secrets are you hiding, even from yourself?
Her luminous green eyes fastened onto his. “Are you invading my privacy?”
“Yep.” He didn’t remove his hand from her chest, tracking the rhythm of her heart as it began to speed up. From his nearness? He suspected it was, and he was glad to know she wasn’t immune to him.
She frowned at his admission, and he expected her to get angry. But to his surprise, she smiled. “It feels nice to have you in my mind.”
He grinned and leaned forward to kiss her. She kissed him back, and desire flared hot and powerful almost instantly. With a curse, he broke the kiss and stood up, pacing to the other side of the room. “I can’t believe I didn’t finish ravishing you last night.”
“I know.” She sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. Her shorts had ridden up, revealing a long expanse of leg that made his groin tighten. “I thought we were going to.”
“Yeah.” He watched her as she stretched, her tank top riding up to reveal the same flat belly he’d been kissing last night. Shit. He needed to get his mind off sex and fast, or they’d be caught in flagrante delicto when Jada showed up to announce their fate. “Catherine Taylor isn’t really your sister, is she?”
Alice sucked in her breath, her face turning white. “What?”
His heart softened at the look of shock on her face. His woman was as open and real as it was possible to be. She might be lying, but she was becoming utterly transparent to him. “Tell me, Alice,” he said, keeping his voice conversational. “Do you really want to rescue her, or are you going after her for another reason?” He was willing to make himself respect her angel rules if that meant helping her avoid a life as a Mageaan, but in terms of the mission they were on, he needed full disclosure.
Alice’s face grew even paler. “Of course I want to rescue her. Warwick kidnapped both of us, and I was the one who got away. I couldn’t save my mother or anyone else, so I can’t let her die, too. I have to save one person in this world. And since I just want to free her and not actually save her life, it should work, right?”
“No. Not right.” He walked over to her. She stiffened, and he saw the wariness in her eyes as she pulled her shoulders back. For a moment, neither of them spoke, and Ian reached out with his mind, gently probing hers. She immediately slammed up her mental barriers, but not before he sensed the cold chill of deception. Ah, the conveniences of the sheva bond. It might not work as well as it should, but it was good enough for him to find out what he needed from her. “I don’t believe you,” he said. “I think you want to make sure she never leaves that island alive.”
She stared at him, aghast. “What are you talking about?”
It was a guess, only a guess, but he threw it out there anyway, just to test her reaction, to push her to the edge so he could force some truth out of her. He’d been a warrior long enough to know the importance of having full and accurate information when going into battle. “I think, sweetheart, that you want me to kill Catherine Taylor when we find her. Not save her. Kill her.”
Ian was a little shocked by the revealing look of horror on her face, confirming that his wild stab in the dark designed to goad her into revealing more, was actually dead right.
His sweet little angel of life was actually a bloodthirsty murderer? No. That was impossible. It had to be something else, something he hadn’t figured out, something he didn’t know. “Why? Tell me why, Alice. Tell me what’s really going on.”
But before he could take it further, the room filled with a turquoise glow.
Jada had arrived.
*
Alice whirled around at the intrusion, her mind still whirring from Ian’s question. Why had he asked that? How had he known? What would he do? What—
“Oh, shit.” Ian lowered his mace. “Jada isn’t even going to have the decency of a polite conversation before making her decision? It’s just rude to try to drown someone without even discussing it first.”
“Drown us?” Alice’s feet felt cold, and she looked down. The floor of the room was being flooded with ocean water. It was already up to her ankles, and filling fast. She immediately started backing up, then caught herself. Like retreating would do any good. “I’m thinking that in about two seconds, we’re going to discover we can’t breathe underwater anymore.”
“I agree.” Ian sloshed across the room through water that was already up to his thighs. The room was filling so fast that there was foam churning across the surface of the water. “I can breathe for you. We’ll do it like last time.”
Alice hurried over to him, not even hesitating. “How long can you breathe under water?” The seawater was already up to her ribs, and she started to shiver. “It’s really cold.”
“I know.” Ian wrapped his arms around her, infusing her with his warmth. “I can sustain us for a while, but no, I’m not a fish. I can’t do it forever.”
“So, then, maybe this isn’t going to really solve our problem, is it?” Even as she protested, she wrapped her arms around his neck, tucking herself against him. As before, the raw strength of his body seemed to infuse her with power. It felt amazing, and eased some of her fear. It was getting less scary to turn herself over to him, but at the same time, the fact she was getting used to it wasn’t a good sign. How far off her assigned path was he leading her? And at what point would the payment be a fast trip to become Jada’s underling? Unless, of course, she finally died for good before then, which was looking increasingly likely.
“Yeah, good point. Much as I love the fact that breathing for you means I get to suck face with you indefinitely, I’m thinking we need a more long-term solution. Tread water,” Ian said. “Breathe for yourself as long as you can.” His eyes were darting around the room. “I need to figure out where the water is coming from. There has to be an opening somewhere, a portal that she opened to let the ocean filter in.”
Alice twisted in his arms, and looked down into the water. “It has to be coming from the floor,” She said. “I didn’t hear it dripping down from the walls, and the walls and ceiling are dry above the water line.”
“Then let’s check the floor.” He released her and readied himself to dive. “We can’t stay here forever. We need to get out.”
Alice took a deep breath, then nodded, trying to quell the panic. “Okay.”
“Search for any kind of opening,” Ian instructed. “It’ll be a weak point, and maybe I can break through the rest of the way. Go!” He dove, disappearing under the water instantly.
After taking one last look at the ceiling, which was now far too close, Alice sucked in her breath and followed him. The aqua glow still filled the room, casting everything into a strange tint not unlike the color the moon had been when she’d tried to break into the Mageaan stronghold earlier.
She kicked down to the floor and began running her fingers over the surfac
e. It was smooth and hard, like an oyster shell. She couldn’t find even a tiny hole. She could hold her breath longer than an average human, but eventually her lungs began to burn, and she looked over at Ian. He was moving quickly along the seam between the floor and the walls, running his palms over the seam, apparently not yet affected by the lack of air.
Alice quickly swam upward, reaching the top of the water just as her lungs felt like they were going to burst. She sucked in air, watching the ceiling get closer and closer, even in the brief moments she was at the surface. It was only two feet away now. Two feet left of air, and they were hundreds of feet below the surface of the ocean. A cold chill began to gnaw at her bones, and she shivered, her lungs getting heavier and heavier as panic tried to set in.
You okay? Ian’s voice was in her mind, a warm breath of reassurance. She wasn’t alone.
Yeah. For a few more minutes. She knew she couldn’t waste time. They had to find a way out, something they had to have missed last night when they’d been looking, something that Jada had opened. She prayed urgency would give them answers they hadn’t found before. With mounting trepidation, she took another breath from the shrinking airspace and forced herself to dive again. She went for the far corner opposite Ian, and frantically began probing the floor.
She could feel the current of water, but she couldn’t find where it was coming from. Come on! Frantic now, her lungs burning, she kept searching, but she couldn’t find the opening the water was flowing through.
A loud clank echoed through the water, and she spun around to see Ian raise his mace over his head, as if he’d just punched the floor with it. Did you find something?
Not sure. There’s a stronger current here. I’m checking. He slammed his weapon into the floor again, his muscles straining with the force of his blow. A chunk of floor exploded into the room, and Ian let out a roar of triumph. He swung back and hit it again, and another piece flew out.
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