Cityscape Affair Series: The Complete Box Set

by Hawkins, Jessica

  “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,” he said with conviction.

  I’d forgotten that Bill and I weren’t the only casualties in this unfolding mess. But maybe David was hurting more than I’d realized. Something sinister showed in his face—a tempest brewing inside him. I wanted to reassure him that I was also scared, that I had a dark place, and I went there sometimes, too.

  As I looked at him, everything around us fell away. I had a powerful need to comfort him, to care for him as if he was mine to make happy. I needed to tell him what I’d felt in the house—that my feelings for him might be morphing into something else, something deeper.

  “The house,” I started.

  He glanced up and fastened anxious eyes on mine.

  “The house—” I stopped, swallowing dryly.

  I saw you there. I saw us there.

  David’s entire presence narrowed in on me, intensifying the expression on his face as he waited for me to speak.

  But voicing my fantasies would only give David false hope and hurt him deeper. I didn’t want that.

  “We didn’t get it,” I said finally.

  He blinked his gaze up over my shoulder. His face closed again, and after a moment, he pivoted slightly to resume walking.

  “Maybe I was being unrealistic,” I said, shuffling to catch up with him. “I mean, who has time for a project like that?”

  His expression had gone tight when he looked down at me. “Yeah. That place would have been a lot of work,” he said with a hint of irritation.

  “I know, but there was just something about—”

  “I really don’t want to hear about the house,” he said, his tone verging on snapping.

  “Oh. All right.” I cleared some of my hair from my shoulder and made a point to look forward or at other people for the next few blocks.

  It was dark by the time we approached Michigan Avenue Bridge. I pulled my jacket closer against the wind as we crossed the Chicago River. He asked if I was cold, and I said no, because what good would it do to admit that I was? He couldn’t hold me or give me his blazer. It was all just too intimate knowing the things we’d done together.

  He stopped in the center of the bridge and motioned back toward the Loop. “Can you imagine running from the Great Chicago Fire of 1871? Flames at your heels, driving you across the river?”

  “I don’t want to,” I said.

  “Your only objective is to get to the other side—but so is everyone else’s. All those people trying to cross at the same time. Panic is a phenomenal thing. You know that it burned for two days?”

  “All because a stupid cow knocked over a lantern,” I said, or so it’d been alleged.

  He smiled down at me. “Yes, that stupid cow.”

  It felt so natural for David to brush his knuckles over my cheek that it happened before either of us had realized it. It was only a second, and he pulled back immediately. But it left my skin singing.

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “You can’t do that,” I said. “You can’t just do that.”

  “I know. It just happened. I’m sorry.” He left down the other side of the bridge.

  But, oh, I wanted it to just happen again. My reprimand was not because I didn’t want that, too, but because I was always on the verge of making a mistake with him. His intoxicating touch burned like wildfire through my body and straight to my core.

  Helplessly, I followed, unsure of whether or not he wanted me to. When I caught up to him, I gestured to the right. “I’m going this way.”

  “I didn’t know we had a destination,” he said, turning with me.

  “I promised Lucy I’d check on things at their apartment while she’s away.”

  After a couple blocks, David slowed to a stop in front of Lucy and Andrew’s building. “And here we are.”

  “Here we are,” I echoed, watching him closely.

  He rubbed his chin, as though debating. He went to stick his hand back into his pocket but pulled the lobby door open instead. I looked from him to the door and back.

  “I’ll walk you up,” he said.

  Goose bumps spread over my shoulders. There was no question in his voice.

  And I didn’t protest.

  I hid my face from the doorman as I waved in his direction, and David and I rode the eight floors up in silence. I located the keys and turned to him, leaning my back against Lucy and Andrew’s apartment door. “Thank you. I don’t know why, but I enjoy walking with you a lot.”

  “I know why,” he said.

  “Okay,” I prompted, fighting back a smile. “Why?”

  “I’m not telling.”

  I arched an eyebrow at him. “Really?”

  “I just know these things. That’s why I’m such a great guy to have around.”

  “It doesn’t do me any good if you withhold your great knowledge.”

  “True,” he said, placing an outstretched hand against the doorframe. “But I’m withholding what I know for your own good.”

  I nearly wiggled under his undivided attention. “Well, now I’m curious. Now you have to tell me.”

  “Sorry, honeybee,” he said, his tone dropping. “Privileged information.”

  “Friends don’t call friends ‘honeybee,’” I pointed out.

  “Sure they do.”

  “It’s flirtatious.”

  “You can’t possibly think I don’t flirt with my female friends,” he said.

  “You shouldn’t,” I said, my voice breathy. “You might give them the wrong idea.”

  “And what idea is that?”

  I flushed at the many wrong ideas we’d had on a certain night more than three months ago. Ideas we’d acted out against the wall and in his bed . . .

  “It’s okay,” he said when I didn’t respond. “You don’t have to tell me what you’re thinking. I can guess based on your pretty pink cheeks.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, annoyed that my fair complexion always gave me away. “Now you’re intentionally misbehaving.”

  He laughed wolfishly. “This is not misbehaving. There’s a whole world of misbehaving that we’re not doing.”

  Goddamn if I couldn’t help the way my body shuddered. “You didn’t answer my question,” I said. “Why does it feel like this when we’re doing something as simple as just walking together?”

  His face turned serious. “Are you really prepared to have this talk?”

  I hadn’t realized, but my heart was pounding. I shifted Lucy’s keys in my sweaty palm. I knew I should look away, but my eyes wouldn’t obey. “What talk?”

  “You know what talk, Olivia.”

  About us. About what we were doing. And about why just taking a walk was so nice, but also so wrong. He leaned closer now. His gaze lingered at my throat, and his tongue flickered over his lips. Just on the other side of the door was an empty apartment, our own private escape. On the other side of the door was the potential to make mistakes—over and over again . . . I touched my fingers to the base of my neck, sure that he could see my pulse racing.

  “Answer me,” he said. “Are you prepared for what I have to say?”

  “No,” I blurted. “I’m not ready.”

  He pushed off the doorjamb with aplomb. “Well when you are, let me know.”

  He turned and walked back down the hall. I fumbled with the keys, cursing when I dropped them at my feet. I wanted to call after him, invite him in, and drown in the fantasy of us, just for one night.

  Instead, I entered the apartment before I made an enormous mistake. I slammed the door shut with both hands, bracing myself against the barrier between us.

  12

  Late Sunday morning, I slid behind our breakfast counter and grinned at Bill.

  “You’re in a good mood,” he said cautiously.

  “I’m going to the dog shelter.”

  “Great, babe. You haven’t volunteered there in forever.”

  “Come with me.”

  “Nah, you go have fun,” he said.
“I should catch up on some stuff.”

  “Come on,” I prodded. “It’ll be fun. We can get lunch after.”

  “I warned you.” He arched an eyebrow and waved an overstuffed folder in my direction. “If I left the office early the other night, I’d have to give up a weekend. That, and because of next weekend’s fishing trip, I have to get as much done as possible now.”

  “All right.” I held up my palms in defeat and bent over to lace up my tennis shoes. “I just think you’d enjoy a break. You work so much.”

  “So do you.”

  “I know,” I said, knotting my laces. I glanced up at him. “But I’m going to try to cut back, now that I’m more settled in this position.”

  “You know I don’t have that option. The partners expect us to bust our asses.”

  “I get it.” I stood. “I’m going to get going, then. Don’t work too hard.”

  He kissed my forehead and tossed the folder onto the kitchen table. “I’ll try not to.”

  Twenty minutes and five M83 songs later, I’d arrived at my destination. George, the manager of the animal shelter I’d been volunteering at for years, greeted me with a warm smile and told me they’d missed me the past few months. I apologized for the fact that I’d offered to help him plan their annual gala but had disappeared back in May. After waving off my apology, he paired me with an older golden Labrador mix named Sofie, who lovingly nudged me with her snout when I asked if she was ready for her walk.

  Out front, I threw my hair into a quick ponytail and led Sofie toward the park. I pulled out my phone twice on the way, only to put it away again. Finally, I took it out a last time and read a text message David had sent me the day before.

  David: Meet us in the park tomorrow.

  I hadn’t responded. Now, it was tomorrow, and David and I would be in the same area. I was just walking, wasn’t I? Company would be nice, which was the reason I’d invited Bill. Who’d turned me down.

  I bit my nail nervously as I stared at the text. Finally, I replied.

  Me: How was the zoo?

  As soon as I’d sent it, I cringed. My nerves flared, my stomach knotted. I pulled on my earlobe until he responded.

  David: Chaotic. Are you in LP?

  Me: Yes.

  David: Come to the Lily Pool, Fullerton entrance. I’m headed there now.

  I looked down at the dog. “Don’t judge me,” I told her.

  At the gates to Alfred Caldwell Lily Pool, we waited. My heart rate accelerated when I saw David in the distance. He spotted me, his stride quickening. His muscles stretched a short-sleeved black t-shirt. I let my gaze wander down his basketball shorts to his long legs. They were brawny, tan like his arms, and I guessed it was because when he flipped houses, he flipped them. As in, him, hammering, lifting, moving, ripping, tearing, sweating . . .

  “Hey,” he said, a smile spreading across his handsome face.

  I squinted up and easily returned his smile. “Hey.”

  “Who’s this?”

  “Sofie from the shelter.”

  “Hello, Sofie from the shelter.” He crouched and scratched behind her ears. “Our dog Canyon’s with us. They can play.”

  “She’s sort of old.”

  “Canyon is, too. Have you been inside?” he asked, motioning to the Lily Pool.

  “No.” I looked at him sheepishly and admitted, “I’ve only walked by.”

  He took the leash from me and looped it around the nearest tree. “Come inside with me. Sofie’ll be fine here for a minute.” With a hand on my shoulder, he guided me through the gates and into a peaceful, rustic oasis. A sprawling pond was dotted with floating lily pads and bordered by large stone slabs.

  “Wow,” I muttered. “Are we still in Chicago?”

  He grinned. “I come here when I need to cool off.”

  The leaves rustled with a breeze, carrying the soothing water lily scent under our noses. I inhaled a breath of fresh air as wind danced in my hair. I could feel the city fading in the background as we stood together, soaking in the serenity.

  “This reminds me of the house,” I mused aloud, then clarified, “The Oak Park house.”

  “This park was designed in the prairie style, just like the house—notice the same horizontal lines. Alfred Caldwell was an architectural landscaper influenced by Frank Lloyd Wright. They both loved nature and knew how to incorporate it to make the space come alive.”

  Just like in the house, the way he spoke arrested me. His love for architecture was inspiring, and I listened avidly as he recited a quick history of the Lily Pond’s recent restoration.

  “A lush, green sanctuary modeled after this would be perfect in the backyard,” he said as we exited.

  “I told you we didn’t get the house, though.”

  “Right. It would be perfect—for someone else.”

  I untied Sofie, and we took off along the path. David dropped facts here and there about the park.

  “Liv!” I heard from ahead of us.

  “I forgot to mention,” David muttered, “your friend Brian Ayers is here.”

  “Why?”

  “Sometimes we run Lakefront on the weekends. He wormed his way into getting an invitation to eat.”

  Brian waved at me as he ran over in basketball shorts and a sleeveless tank. A lock of long blond hair fell into his eyes, and his toothy grin stretched from ear to ear. “Lovely to see you.”

  “You too, Brian,” I said.

  He laid a heavy arm across my shoulders and nodded to where people had gathered in a picnic area. “Come on, the grill’s already fired up.”

  “Mom, look. A Lab!” A young, dark-haired boy came running over from the group, and David leaped forward.

  “Hang on, buddy,” he said. “What did I tell you about big dogs? Nice and easy, let her smell you first.”

  The boy slowed and held out his hand to Sofie. He beamed when she sniffed and licked it.

  I identified David’s family immediately from my research—otherwise known as Internet stalking. David’s sister, Jessa, introduced herself with a bright smile and a sturdy handshake. I liked her instantly. She looked about my age, younger than David, but warm brown eyes gave her sharpness away. “Is this your pup?” she asked.

  “No, she’s from a shelter nearby. I volunteer there some weekends.”

  Her smile widened. “I like you already. We’re a family of animal lovers. Mom,” she called behind her, “come meet a friend of David’s.”

  I watched David’s retreating figure as he took Sofie over to meet Canyon, leaving me alone and without a clue as to what I was supposed to talk about with his sister. A petite black-haired woman glided toward us, wiping her hands on the seat of her jeans. She looked mildly confused, but wrapped me in a tight hug and said, “I’m Judy.”

  “Olivia Germaine,” I replied when she’d released me.

  “Gerard, come meet a friend of David’s,” she called over her shoulder, never taking her eyes off me. I had to stifle a laugh at how she’d used the exact same words as Jessa. I was beginning to feel like an alien that had just landed in a spaceship.

  David’s dad had the same rigid bearing as him, and he commanded that I sit down at the picnic table in the same tone that David would have. Jessa had a fruit plate in front of me in moments, and I didn’t know who I should look at as they all stared at me.

  David appeared suddenly and fell onto the bench next to me. He handed me a bottle of water. “I noticed you don’t have anything to drink. It’s important to stay hydrated,” he said, his tone edged with a scolding.

  I opened my mouth to thank him when Jessa cut in. “So how do you two know each other?” she asked, looking between us.

  “Mutual friend,” David said as I responded, “Work.”

  We exchanged glances, and I laughed nervously.

  “Olivia here was the one who put us in the ‘Most Eligible’ issue,” Brian offered.

  “Oh!” Jessa exclaimed, clasping her hands together. “I’m so glad David fi
nally agreed to do it. He looked so handsome,” she gushed. “You did a wonderful job.”

  “I actually didn’t work with David, my colleague did, but I agree. She did a great job,” I said, clearing my throat self-consciously.

  “I see.” Jessa smiled mischievously.

  “David, sweetie, you never said—has anything come of it?” Judy asked. Her eyes darted conspicuously between him and me.

  “Uh, no, not really.”

  “Come on, Fish, we both had a ton of responses,” Brian volunteered. “Didn’t you take any of them out?”

  “No,” David snapped. “I don’t need a magazine article to find dates.”

  “No one said you did,” Jessa pointed out. “You’re being rude.”

  By now, I was sure that I was beet red. “It’s okay. David was candid about what he expected from the article. My boss was more than pleased to feature him anyway.”

  David gave me an apologetic look as his parents excused themselves to check on the grill. I watched Judy loop her arm around Gerard’s lower back, and he gave her an adoring smile. It had been some time since I’d seen any of my friends’ parents looking so smitten; even at Lucy’s wedding, her normally affectionate parents had seemed frazzled.

  “So was it intentional that the issue came out on David’s birthday?” Jessa teased.

  “Come on,” he said, rolling his eyes.

  “No.” I broke into a smile. “I had no idea.”

  Jessa nodded emphatically. “June twenty-second. What’s your sign, Olivia?”

  “Jessa,” David warned.

  “I’m a Taurus. May twentieth.”

  “Oh.” She was quiet for a moment. “That’s interesting.”

  “How come?”

  “Don’t ask,” David said. “She’s into this astrology bullshit.”

  “David is a Cancer.”

  “Like my friend Gretchen,” I said.

  Brian laughed to himself. “That explains a lot,” he muttered with his chin in his hand.

  I narrowed my eyes at him. He and Gretchen had been sniping at each other ever since I’d introduced them. “Brian, did something happen between you and Gretchen?” I asked.