“Oh, is it?” he retorted. “Let’s test it, then.”
He scooped her up before she knew what was happening, and she screamed as he ran her to the ocean.
I cringed as he tossed her in easily. “He is so dead,” I muttered.
But she came up laughing.
“See?” David said. “They like each other.”
* * *
Gretchen and I splayed out on our towels, wrecked after two hours in the water.
“I think I could be really good at surfing,” I said to Gretchen. “I mean, I stood up almost every time. You only got up, like, twice, right? And you’ve had lessons before. David said I was a natural.”
“Whatever,” she said, huffing from behind her sunglasses. “It’s not a contest.”
“So, um . . .” I failed to hide a smile. “You and Brian were sort of chummy out there.”
“We were chummy?” She balked as she got up onto her elbows. “I’m pretty sure small children had to be removed from the beach because of you and David.”
“Oh, please,” I said, reddening. “A little making out never hurt anyone. I mean, have you seen David without a shirt?”
She lowered her sunglasses to look at me. “Good point.”
“So?” I asked. “You and Brian?”
“Ugh, what?” She flopped back onto the towel. “I don’t like him. He’s been actually tolerable today, but that doesn’t mean anything. Right now, I’m just trying not to think about Greg.”
I nodded. “You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just that David thinks he likes you.”
She popped back up on an elbow and lowered her sunglasses again. “He said that?”
“Yup.”
Her answering laugh sounded forced. “That’s crazy.”
“Is it?”
“Look, I never told you this, but after the one date we had . . .” She hesitated. “I kissed Brian.”
“I know. He told me.”
“Of course he did, the rat.” She narrowed her eyes toward the ocean, where David and Brian had gone back out with their boards. “Did he also tell you that he shot me down?”
“Yes,” I said. “So what? That was a while ago.”
“Guys don’t shoot me down, Liv. Clearly, he’s not into me. Not that I’m into him, but, anyway, he’s not into me.”
“Okay,” I said, offering up my palms. “But either way, maybe you should take a break and be single for a while.”
“Or forever.”
“Don’t say that,” I said. “Greg sucks. Not all guys are like him.”
She squinted ahead. “Jesus, they’re smoking fucking hot, though, aren’t they? Look at them.”
I followed her gaze to where David and Brian sat in the line-up—David dark and sexy, Brian blond and goofy. Both looked drop-dead gorgeous shirtless, though. “Brian’s pretty ripped, huh?” I asked.
“Would you stop?” she asked, exasperated.
“Just calling it like it is. But yes. They’re extremely hot,” I said, my eyes drifting to some female gawkers on the shore. “Those girls over there are checking them out.”
We laughed and reclined back again. I closed my eyes to soak in the warmth of the sun and was almost asleep when I heard the bass of David’s voice.
Gretchen, already up on her elbows, yawned. “Look,” she said, jutting her chin at the water. “They’re talking to the girls.”
I squinted through my sunglasses at the shoreline. Three girls in bikinis, ankle deep in the surf, shaded their eyes with their hands as they looked up at Brian and David. I sat up all the way, and David lifted his hand in a wave. A pleasant warmth washed over me, and I smiled. Despite all my worrying that I’d inherit my mother’s madness, I realized there was too much love in my body to leave any room for jealousy. Those girls could flirt their asses off, and it looked as if they were trying to, but they’d never steal even a fraction of David’s attention from me.
David broke away, jogged up the sand, and dropped his surfboard next to me. He fell over me gracefully, propping himself on outstretched arms and dripping water onto my warm skin. “Sorry, honey. Hope you don’t mind getting a little wet,” he said.
“Let’s see a push-up,” Gretchen demanded.
He lowered himself, kissed me on the lips, and pushed himself back up. “One,” he said and repeated the motion, this time kissing the curve of my neck.
“Two,” I said breathlessly as a tingle made its way up my tummy.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Gretchen said. “I don’t want to know what happens when you get to ten.”
He laughed and rolled over onto the sand. “God, I love the beach.”
“Word,” Gretchen agreed as Brian strolled up and plopped down next to her. “How was the surf?” she asked.
“Shit,” Brian said. “But it’s okay because we had longboards.”
“Dude, did you see that little kid ripping out there?” David asked.
“He was like ten years old,” Brian told us, “but he trounced the rest of us.”
“I’d start my kid surfing the second he could walk,” David continued. “Boy or girl, I wouldn’t care. Snowboarding, too.”
A tremor of dread worked its way through me. From behind my sunglasses, I noticed Gretchen glance at me. I couldn’t believe that hearing David talk about children would be one of the most terrifying things in my life. Jessa’s warnings from the other night tried to pop into my head, but I pushed them away.
And gave way to my own harrowing thought.
Someone will have to sacrifice.
“Same here,” Brian agreed. “Hey, we could move out to Florida and raise a professional surf team.”
“I’m in,” David said. “I don’t know if your lady friend would be up for that, though. She doesn’t seem to like the beach.”
“Who, Kat?” Brian laughed. “No, definitely not. Sadly, I think our time together is coming to an end.”
Gretchen twirled a finger in the sand beside her towel. “She, um, doesn’t seem like your type.”
“Oh, yeah?” Brian said. “Why not?”
“Well, for one . . .” Gretchen looked up. “She doesn’t ride a broom.”
Brian’s answering laugh was so loud, it seemed to echo around the beach. He fell back on the sand. “Gretchen.” He groaned, covering his face with his arm. “Quit busting my balls, would you?”
I looked from Brian to a grinning David. Florida looked good on him. I took a mental picture of his profile, wanting to remember this carefree, in-his-element David forever.
Because deep down, I knew.
It couldn’t last.
As long as we hadn’t discussed the one thing that could still break us, stormy waters lay ahead.
26
I awoke completely tangled in David, my hands in his hair, and my arms around his neck while his circled my waist. Our legs entwined like vines attempting to merge. A gray hue darkened the room, and rain lightly drummed the roof. David sighed and pulled me closer. With messy, jet-black hair against a stark white pillow, he looked peaceful but still severe, even in repose. I bit my lip to keep from waking him with a kiss.
I closed my eyes again. It’d been another perfect weekend. After our surf session, David and I had made love in the shower, then napped until dinnertime. Brian and Gretchen had prepared seafood pasta while Brian’s girlfriend had watched. By the time we’d gone to bed, only Gretchen and Brian had remained awake.
I was high on everything—David, the change in scenery, the possibility of Gretchen and Brian—but still, I managed to give in to a second round of sleep.
We were still interwoven when I woke again, except I was practically on top of David as he lay on his back. I lifted my head to find him watching me. “We slept late,” he said softly.
I nodded and resettled my head against his chest, not ready to separate. The thud of heavy raindrops comforted me, and David plus the sheets warmed my skin. I closed my eyes as he stroked my hair.
Suddenly, he flipped me on
to my back. “You’re going back to sleep?” he cried. “It’s almost noon.”
I giggled as his face hovered above mine. “I had a stressful week.”
“Were you dealing with unruly workers and asshole engineers like I was? I didn’t think so.”
“I’m sorry, baby, but I have you beat,” I informed him. “I was stuck in a debilitating state of sexual arousal for days. I could barely function.”
“Yeah, right,” he said, shifting and pulling me closer.
“Really,” I said. “It was exhausting.”
“Well, whoever left you that way should be tried and charged with stupidity of the highest degree.”
I laughed and pushed his shoulder, but he caught my wrist. His smile fell as his expression sobered, his eyes intense as they darted over my face. “Marry me.”
I sucked in a sharp breath at the completely out-of-the-blue question. Statement, rather. Apparently, he didn’t even need to ask. “What?” I asked.
He blinked, and his eyes continued to scan my face. “Marry me, Olivia,” he said just above a whisper.
My heat skipped with joy as my stomach simultaneously churned. I didn’t know what to feel. There was still so much we hadn’t discussed. And so much to be done. “David, I—I haven’t even started the divorce process yet.”
“These past few weeks have been the best of my life,” he said. “Surfing with you yesterday, hanging out on the beach, seeing you light up with laughter . . . you’ve been in my life for so little time, yet I can’t imagine it without you.” He slid his hand from my wrist to interlace our fingers. “I want you to be my wife. Maybe it can’t be for a while, maybe you even want to wait a couple years. It doesn’t matter to me. Just tell me one day, you’ll be my wife. Tell me yes.”
It was a moment every girl dreamed of. A moment I desperately wanted. But my mouth went desert-dry as my heart pounded against my chest. Jessa had told me to talk to David quickly. But I’d thought we’d had more time. Now, it was both too soon and too late. Here he was, asking me to make the same promises Bill had. And I knew that with the one simple discussion we hadn’t had, everything could change. Everything.
I looked away so I wouldn’t have to see his expression. “It’s too soon,” I said.
“I know. It is too soon.” He stroked my cheek with his thumb. “But we don’t have to tell anyone.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my throat painfully thick. “I—I can’t. Things are too . . .”
“Hey,” he called softly. “Olivia, look at me. It’s okay. Don’t freak out.”
“I’m not freaking out.” I turned back to him with a forced smile, but he wasn’t buying it.
“I’m happy to be here with you now,” he said. “That just came out. I meant it, but I should’ve waited.”
Coward! I screamed at myself. He didn’t deserve this. He needed to know that the subject of starting a family had been the beginning of the erosion of my marriage. And that even though so much had changed . . . my feelings about motherhood hadn’t. “David,” I started.
He looked at me expectantly. He was so open, his eyes clear, and his love pouring over me. For God’s sake, he’d just asked me to marry him. How would I survive if he never looked at me that way again? If this one last piece of the puzzle didn’t fit for us? I didn’t know, but I never wanted to find out.
In that moment, I wanted to deflect, but I forced myself to be honest. “I am freaking out.”
His body stiffened, and he moved back to sit on his calves. “All right.” He paused, as if searching for the words. “About the proposal? Or about us?”
I don’t want kids. The thought stopped my heart, stole my breath, ceased body function of any kind. This one thing could give David every reason to walk away. Now. To leave this bed, taking his warmth and love with him.
But if it was going to be a dealbreaker—wasn’t it better to know sooner rather than later?
Yes. That was the only answer. But the potential consequences of that conversation could be devastating. And they could sever a perfectly pure, once-in-a-lifetime love.
Let me have today, David. “I need a little space to sort through this.”
“Space? I . . .” He rubbed his chest. “Olivia, we’ve talked about this. I realize the proposal was sudden, but slowing our relationship down isn’t—”
“No, no.” I needed perspective. A clear head. I needed to make some decisions and to work up my courage. I took his hand. “Not that kind of space. I just need to, I don’t know—go for a walk.”
“Alone,” he guessed.
I nodded. “I’m not doing this on my own, and I’m not running away. But there will be times when I need to gather my thoughts.”
He got off the bed and went to peek out the window. “It’s raining.”
“I don’t mind.”
He disappeared into the bathroom and returned in his board shorts. “If you feel you need space, I can’t stop you,” he said, doing up the tie. “But promise me you won’t make any decisions about us without me.”
That was a fair demand—not just because he deserved input, but because I’d shut him out before. I went to him, rose onto the tips of my toes, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I won’t.”
David glanced at me sidelong. “You know that to be a runaway bride, you actually have to be a fiancée first, right? And then make it to the ceremony?”
I half-laughed. “I’m not running anywhere. If anything, I never want to leave this place.”
David glanced at the clock. “Our flight is this afternoon with everyone else,” he said. “I could see if Brian’ll let us spend another night. Just you and me.”
“I’d like that,” I said. I knew David wouldn’t let me off the hook tonight, and having this conversation after traveling all day didn’t sound fun. “I’ll take a personal day tomorrow.”
“Or—” He paused.
“What?”
“Never mind. It might be too much for today.”
Never mind? Since when did David not say what was on his mind? I studied him a minute. “I’m not freaking out about us, David,” I said. “I promise. I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me.”
“I’ll always have you,” he said.
It was a promise, but one he was making without all the information. “I know it’s unfair to ask when I’m not reciprocating, but please tell me what you were going to say.”
“Fine.” He nodded once. “You could just put in your notice at work.”
I blinked at him. “Quit?”
“I’d planned to tell you once I got more info, but I have another work opportunity in New York,” he said. “This one is full-time, six months. And after that, who knows? It could be anywhere. We could do some traveling.”
Six months in New York, a new adventure. And then seeing the world with the man I loved. I wanted it so bad, I could taste it.
“I won’t take the assignment if you don’t come with me,” David added when I didn’t respond, “but you could if you weren’t tied to Chicago.”
“What about the house?” I asked.
“It won’t be ready for at least a year, probably longer. But no matter where we go, it will always be our home.”
A year. If I didn’t tell David the truth tonight, couldn’t I have that time with him and deal with the topic of kids when we returned?
I couldn’t. That wasn’t fair to either of us. The fantasy faded before my eyes before it’d fully developed.
“I can’t just end my career to travel,” I said.
“Well, you could,” he said. “I have no problem with that. But I’m not asking you to do that. I know work is important to you. You could write.”
“Like what I did on the plane back from Dallas?” I nearly laughed. “That’s just a hobby, David. I don’t see it going anywhere.”
“Freelance for other magazines, start a blog about our travels, write a book. You’d have options. Plus . . . it would make you more available for the shelter. You could
volunteer there regularly when we’re home. And when we’re not, well, Chicago isn’t the only place with needy animals.”
I stared at him, my heart warming at the thought of spending more time at the shelter. Or was it that he’d known how much it meant to me? I wasn’t sure. “You’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“Just consider it. Whatever you decide, I’m behind you a hundred percent.” He kissed my forehead. “I’m going to find Brian to squeeze in another surf. But, Olivia? Don’t walk too far today.”
I glanced at my hands. I couldn’t blame him for being worried I’d stray from us, but with my history, I had no way of reassuring him that wouldn’t happen.
“And be safe,” he added. “You don’t know the area.”
Once he’d left, I squatted to my suitcase to change. I hadn’t brought any sneakers, so I went to find Gretchen. I could always count on her in a fashion pinch.
I found her on a call, pacing her room as she seemed to listen. She motioned for me to come in, rolling her eyes at the phone, so I sat on the edge of the bed to wait.
“Well, you should’ve thought about that before abandoning me again,” she said calmly and paused. “Yes, if you’d stayed and talked to me like a mature adult, we would be having a different conversation . . . how am I supposed to trust you now? Frankly, I think you did both of us a favor because now . . . yes, I said favor, because now I see that this isn’t working.”
It had to be Greg. I wasn’t all that surprised he’d called to beg her forgiveness. I gave her a thumbs-up as encouragement, grateful she didn’t need me to point out it was time to move on.
Gretchen looked at me as she listened. “I’m sorry, Greg, but you only have yourself to blame. We’re not in college anymore, and you have to grow up. We can talk more at home, but I have to go now.” She hung up abruptly and flopped next to me on the bed. “Oh my God.”
“That was Greg, right?” I asked. “What the hell is his deal?”
“He’s so sorry for bringing Jordan. I’m not really mad, am I?” she said, mimicking him. “He hadn’t meant to call me a bitch—David and Brian had just pushed him too far. He didn’t even realize that I’m more upset he left instead of talking to me.”
Cityscape Affair Series: The Complete Box Set Page 88