All He Feels - Dax & Ginny (Crossroads Book 11)

by Melanie Shawn

  Applause erupted and Krista lifted a birthday cake topped with lit candles in the air as Ginny stood and started singing. Dax had heard the birthday song hundreds of times in his life, but never like this. The soulful and pure quality in her voice washed over him. She was so talented, so beautiful, so hard working, humble and sweet. The more he got to know her the more amazing she turned out to be.

  After a few bars she waved her arms and the crowd joined her. When Sandy blew out the candles, she thanked Ginny and everyone for being there and then moved to the dance floor and asked everyone to join her. Chelle appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Riley, tugging him onto the dance floor, saving Dax from more grilling.

  He continued towards Ginny with purposeful strides. When their eyes met she smiled. It was the first time all night that it looked like her guard was down, like she was just herself. He loved the fact that it was because of him.

  When he reached her he said. “That was beautiful. Your voice is beautiful.”

  Her left shoulder raised in a slight shrug. “It was just happy birthday, but thanks.”

  “Hey you guys!” Krista called out as she passed by, pulling Chase behind her. “Come dance. Come on!”

  Dax loved to dance, but he was torn. The Motown music that was playing was slow and holding Ginny in his arms as she rocked against him was not going to help him keep things professional. He was having a difficult time doing that as it was.

  When they’d left the studio he’d placed his hand on her lower back for a brief moment and had to drop it immediately when a surge of awareness shot up his arm. She was a temptation unlike anything he’d ever known.

  He’d never denied how he’d felt about anyone before, or tried to limit his interactions with someone. If he was attracted to a woman he let them know, he was honest and up front about that and what he wanted. If the other person felt the same way they acted on their mutual desire and if not, he moved on. It was clean. Simple. Easy.

  What he felt for Ginny was messy. Complicated. Frustrating. He felt things he shouldn’t feel and wanted things he shouldn’t want. And he had to keep it all to himself.

  When he didn’t respond to Krista’s invitation, Ginny looked up at him and smiled weakly. “It’s okay, we don’t have to.” He could hear the disappointment in her voice. “I understand if you can’t dance.”

  He should have left it at that. He should have asked her if she wanted a piece of cake instead, or if she was ready to go. But did he do either of those things? No, he didn’t.

  Apparently he was a glutton for punishment because he announced, “I can dance.”

  Her eyebrows lifted up in surprise, or disbelief, he couldn’t be sure. “Really?”

  “My sister still calls me twinkle toes.”

  Yep. He had to be a masochist. That was the only explanation for him making that embarrassing admission. He’d never told another soul about his childhood nickname. Not any of his friends, not any females he’d dated, and he sure as hell hadn’t given any of the guys in the Corps that ammunition.

  But this was Ginny. Any walls he had she didn’t just scale with ease, she walked through them like they didn’t exist. And he had no idea how to stop her. That in and of itself should scare the crap out of him. Instead it made him want her even more.

  “Twinkle toes?” She had the decency to lower her voice as she repeated it, even if she did laugh in his face at the same time.

  “Yes, ma’am.” He loved hearing her laugh. It was the sweetest sound in the world. The only thing that came close was hearing her sing. Holding out his elbow he dipped his head. “Shall we?”

  Her blue eyes shimmered with the reflection of the lights strung around the room and her smile grew larger as she stared up at him. The way she looked at him made him feel like he could conquer the world. Like he held the keys to the universe.

  His chest ached with the perfection of her beauty. The power of her gaze was a force that could easily bring him to his knees. Nothing was better than having this girl look at him like the sun rose and set in his eyes.

  “I can’t pass up a chance to see twinkle toes in action.”

  Her slender fingers wrapped around his bicep and he covered her hand as he walked her onto the dance floor while The Jackson 5’s “I’ll Be There” played. She stepped into him and he wrapped his arms around her waist. Her head rested on his shoulder as he swayed her to the music. His heart was beating rapidly as her body melted against his.

  Over the years he’d watched as his friends had fallen in love and gotten married. He’d always thought that kind of relationship was great for them, but not for him. It just wasn’t something he’d ever wanted because he had thought it represented a boring life without variety. He loved women too much to settle down. Now no one existed for him except the woman in his arms. Never in his life had he felt so in sync with another person.

  His hand ran up and down her back as he swayed her back and forth and moved her around the dance floor. She snuggled against him and tightened her hold as he leaned down so that the hair on the top of her head tickled his nose. He inhaled, loving the fresh, clean scent of her shampoo.

  He loved that he knew what brand of shampoo she used. What kind of toothpaste and body lotion she used. Those were things he’d never even given a second thought to before but now seemed so private and intimate.

  As much as he wanted to give himself over to all the things he was feeling, he knew that he couldn’t. As much as he wanted to tell her what he was feeling, he knew that he couldn’t. As much as he wanted to act on what he was feeling, he knew that he couldn’t. His feelings didn’t matter. All that mattered was keeping her safe while she was here. That was his job. To protect her. The fact that he also wanted to love her was something he needed to get over.

  Just as his emotions reached critical mass, the song ended and “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)” by the Four Tops started to play. The lyrics mirrored what he was feeling, but he ignored that fact as he spun her, dipped her and danced her around the floor. He was a good dancer but it was obvious she was a trained dancer. Not only did she easily follow his lead, she took the reins several times and showed him a thing or two.

  Song after song came on and pure joy radiated from her face as they tore up the dance floor. He may not be able to tell her how he felt, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t have this. It wasn’t everything he wanted, but it was a night he’d never forget. The night he danced with Ginny in a tent filled with twinkle lights and love.

  Chapter 11

  “You don’t have to do this,” Dax repeated for the fifth time since they’d left the house on their way to the Harper’s Crossing Women’s Shelter.

  Glancing over, she saw his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel. It was obvious that he was much tenser about the press event than she was.

  “I know I don’t have to, I want to.” She tried to lighten the mood by using the inside joke. It didn’t work. He stared straight ahead and didn’t even acknowledge that she’d spoken.

  It had been one week since she’d danced the night away with Dax. She’d never had so much fun in her entire life. He was a great dancer, but that wasn’t why she’d had such a good time. She’d loved it so much because he’d let his guard down. He hadn’t been professional Dax. He’d just been Dax. The guy she once stayed up all night long talking to. The guy that she’d dreamed about for months. The guy that had given her the courage to show up on his doorstep. To be fair, another reason she enjoyed herself so much was the fact that she’d been pressed up against him, moving and swaying to the music led by his strong, capable arms.

  She obviously had zero experience with sex or all things sex-related, but to her, dancing felt like foreplay. It felt so intimate. Her body was tingling from head to toe by the time they finally left.

  On the drive home all she’d been able to think about was what it would be like when they got there. Would they watch TV? Would they go to the kitchen and make something t
o eat? She’d worked up an appetite with all the dancing, she figured he was hungry too. But more importantly, would they have another moment on the couch like the one that had inspired her to write the song? Would they actually kiss this time?

  Unfortunately all of her questions were answered before they even pulled up into the driveway. There were several cars parked across from his house, men loitering on the sidewalk and some hiding behind trees and in bushes. Before they made it to the driveway the entire windshield was blanketed with bright flashes of light. Dax handled the situation like the pro he was. He expertly navigated the vehicle around the paparazzi, opened the garage and closed it before they headed into the house.

  As soon as they were safely inside he called Seth and let him know that her location had been breached. When he got off the phone she’d expected them to carry on with their night. Maybe even share a laugh or their frustration at the new development. She’d been wrong.

  He told her that she should get some rest. She could see that a late night snack, TV binge session or romantic first kiss were not in the cards tonight so she’d gone to her room. She’d lain awake for hours and when she finally fell asleep, she still hadn’t heard him go to bed. When she came out the next morning for breakfast she found him in the kitchen drinking coffee.

  From the first flash his entire demeanor had changed. Since that moment he’d been back to being professional. All business, all the time. He’d worked with local law enforcement and had been able to stop the paparazzi from camping outside his house, but they had made their presence known throughout the town.

  Every day they were camped outside the studio. They’d also had some “deliveries” that were fake, just people trying to get into the building that housed other businesses as well. Several times they’d been followed, aggressively, as they left the studio. There’d been one kind of scary incident where someone had been hiding in the women’s bathroom. But all she’d done was gasp and just like the insurance agents in the State Farm commercials Dax appeared out of nowhere. He then proceeded to forcefully escort the intruder out of the building while the man desperately tried to get a pic.

  Thankfully, none of the commotion bothered Chase. He was used to it. So their sessions hadn’t been affected by it. The album was coming together and she’d even agreed to let him send the song to Karina Black. She figured the worst she could say was no. In this new chapter of her life she wanted to use her voice and ask for what she wanted. She wished she could do that with Dax, but he’d been a different person since the paps had shown up.

  She knew now that the reason things had escalated was because there was a video that had been leaked with Derek and the mystery woman. Her first instinct had been to issue a joint statement with Derek stating that they were no longer seeing each other due to their busy schedules and ask everyone to respect their privacy during this time. But when she’d contacted Derek he’d begged her not to do that. He was trending and his IMDB ranking was in the top ten. He asked her to give him two more weeks because he had an independent film coming out that he was hoping to get Oscar buzz for. He wanted to ride the wave of publicity and then be able to take their break-up on the press junket.

  After talking it over with her mom, since she no longer had a manager to discuss it with, she’d agreed to Derek’s terms. It was kind of a pain for her, but he’d been sweet to her. When they’d first entered into their arrangement, he’d initially thought that they would be friends with benefits behind the scenes. But after he’d kissed her and tried to feel her up the first time they were alone, she’d kind of freaked out, pushed him off of her and told him that she’d never had a boyfriend and that she was still a virgin. He hadn’t laughed or made her feel bad, he’d been really nice about it and instead of making things uncomfortable, he’d treated the show they put on as an acting job and they’d kind of become friends, without the benefits, behind the scenes.

  As they passed the front parking lot, Ginny could see that there were several news organizations and also about thirty photogs there. She cut her gaze over to Dax who had an unreadable expression. That didn’t stop him from looking so sexy, so swoon worthy that it was all she could do to hold in a sigh.

  He was wearing what she was now mentally referring to as his trademark bodyguard uniform. He had his aviator glasses on. A long-sleeve black thermal that showcased the lines and bulges of his muscular upper body. Blue jeans that looked soft to the touch. And he was also rocking his trademark stubble, that was just slightly longer than a five o’clock shadow and every time she saw it her fingers itched to reach out and touch it. To run her fingertips over the bristly hairs.

  Ever since their night on the dance floor, where she’d accidently brushed her palm against it when he’d dipped her, she was aching to touch it again. She could still feel the prickly sensation that his hairs had caused on her palm that traveled directly to the apex of her legs.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked again as they pulled around to the back gate that was normally locked to the public for security reasons, but they’d gotten the passcode to so they could enter the building without incident.

  “Yes. I am. These women and children have been through so much. A lot more than dealing with some bad headlines and cameras in their faces. If me showing up helps them, it’s the least I can do.”

  When she’d spoken to Betty, the director of the shelter, she’d asked Ginny if she would be willing to do a press event for their New Day, New You program. Women at the shelter earned gift cards to local businesses by participating in programs ranging from self-defense to job training to counseling that were offered as part of their rehabilitation services. Then they were able to redeem their gift cards at the participating businesses in town for clothes, haircuts and groceries.

  It sounded like an amazing program and when Ginny had offered her help, Betty had explained that a press event to spotlight the program would be the most beneficial. She hoped it would spread awareness of the shelter and the services they offered to women in need.

  He pulled into the parking space closest to the back entrance and cut the engine. He turned towards her and lifted his glasses. When he looked at her his honey stare had pretty much the same effect on her body as the feeling of his stubble on her palm had. A tingling thrill raced straight down to her lower belly.

  “Do you remember what I told you?”

  “Yes. I do,” she breathed.

  She might as well have added, Mr. President.

  “Wait there,” he instructed firmly, totally ignoring her unintentional Marilyn impression.

  She nodded. He insisted on opening her door even if they were in his garage. He didn’t want her to walk anywhere at any time without him by her side. Logically, she knew that he was just doing his job. It was obvious, painfully obvious, that he had no interest in anything becoming physical with them.

  As he opened her door, he held out his hand and she closed her eyes as his large, warm fingers wrapped around hers. Why did his touch have to feel so good? Why did it have to feel so safe and so dangerous at the same time?

  She took in a shaky breath as she stepped down and he fell in step behind her to her right. It was killing her that he was so close physically but emotionally felt farther away than he’d ever been. Even though she’d come here thinking that he would be the guy. The one that she could lose herself and her virginity to, it was time she faced the harsh truth that he wasn’t.

  Tonight she was going to be interviewing Amber and Jamie, two of Krista’s cousins-in-law, and she was thinking she might ask them if they knew any nice guys. Going on a date or two after she announced next week that she and Derek weren’t together might be a good idea since this thing with Dax wasn’t happening.

  She’d already had a chance to talk to all three of Krista’s sisters and their significant others and the one thing she’d learned is when it’s right, it’s right. Both parties knew that the person they were with was the one. It was a two-way street. She was definit
ely traveling down a one-way street. It was time she moved on and let go of the fantasy that she’d created in her mind.

  The back door opened as they got close and in a heartbeat, Dax was in front of her. His arm surrounding her holding her against his back.

  “Hello!” Ginny heard the voice that she recognized as Betty.

  Dax moved to the side and Ginny shook the woman’s hand. As they walked in the older woman leaned over and said, “You are a lucky girl. Dax is one of the good ones and I see how he’s looking at you.”

  “I’m sorry?” Ginny wasn’t sure that she’d heard her right, or what Betty had meant if she had.

  The woman lifted her penciled eyebrows and her eyes indicated behind them at Dax.

  “Oh we’re not…he’s just…” Ginny wasn’t sure what to say so instead of trying to fumble through it she went with. “I know. I am lucky. He’s very good at his job.”

  That’s all it was. All she was. His job.

  Chapter 12

  Dax ran his hands through his hair in frustration as he paced in front of Seth’s house. Ginny was inside with Seth’s wife and sister-in-law. Over the past three hours, Dax had listened to the three women talk about love and relationships. Apparently she trusted them enough, or at least had drank enough Sangria, to tell them that she and Derek split because he’d heard her ask if the women knew any eligible men to set her up with.

  Hearing her say those words were like a punch in the gut. It had knocked the wind right out of him. Thinking of her dating someone, of another man touching her, kissing her, made him sicker than the time he’d contracted food poisoning during a covert mission in Lebanon. But just like then, he had to keep going no matter how sick he felt. He had to keep doing his job.

  When his phone had buzzed and he’d stepped out to take a call, he’d actually been relieved for the reprieve. But that relief had been short lived. He was now ten minutes into fielding the fifth call from his mother this week which was less than the number of times his sister Heather had reached out. Both of his family members were taking turns calling to voice their concerns. Each time he talked to one of them, their paranoia escalated more than the last. Nothing he said seemed to slow down the crazy train they had both hopped on. In fact, with each conversation it was more like they were throwing coal in the firebox of their insane locomotive and were barreling full steam ahead.