HeartFast

by Linda Mooney

  Soon after, the other Guardians began filing out and heading toward the transportation bay. Star found Morning Fire waiting to walk with her when she exited the dining hall. They fell into step, just like old times.

  “Gee, Star, we haven’t had a chance to get together for the longest time. I miss talking to you,” the petite redhead confessed.

  Flashing her a small smile, Star replied, “So do I. But you understand why I haven’t invited you over lately.”

  Reaching out, Morning Fire took her best friend’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Remember, I’m here if you need to talk.” She watched Star’s face intently, hoping to see some sign of the woman she knew come to the forefront. What she didn’t expect was the look of deep sorrow in those violet eyes.

  “Yeah, well, maybe I’m overdue. The heavens know I could use a confidant right now.”

  Morning Fire paused, still holding onto StarLight’s hand, and forced her to turn and face her for the moment. “Please. Just tell me this, and I won’t ask you anything more about it. Is he treating you well?”

  Dropping her face for a moment, Star heaved a big sigh, then looked back up. “Yeah. That’s the problem. I think … I think I … oh, crap, I don’t know, Fire. I’m so confused right now. Just give me a little longer to think about it, all right?”

  Silently, they continued over to the bay where Deceiver and Hunter were pulling hand computers out of the cabinet to help with the ships. Tossing Morning Fire a palm unit, Deceiver told her, “I’ll run the numbers on the ships so you and your team can get them aligned with Command Central. Star,” He tossed her a unit also, “take the numbers from Hunter and go back into Command to make certain they line up. Sender and Seeker will also be working to see if we can’t get everything to stand up in perfect order as well.”

  “I’ll begin with One,” Hunter told her.

  “Then I’ll take Two,” Deceiver said, and turned and left.

  Star glanced back over at Hunter. His attention was focused on aligning up the settings on his computer to begin work. Walking over to him, she waited, hands on hips, until he realized she was still there. He glanced up in surprise to see her intently studying him, and he almost smiled.

  “What?”

  “You got off damned lucky today,” she murmured softly, her face never betraying any emotion.

  “Lucky? How?”

  “There’s no bite mark on my butt.”

  Having said what she wanted to say, Star turned on her heel and began to stride away, but not before she heard his soft laughter at her back.

  What neither of them saw were the stunned looks on the other Guardians’ faces.

  Sometimes, stamping her booted feet as hard as she could on the ground felt good. It was a safe way to work off frustration and angry energy. Star stomped her way into Command and threw herself into one of the chairs by the communications console. As she began adjusting her palm unit to receive the signals from Transport One, Blender walked in to open the relays, then walked out, leaving her alone.

  Now her whole body was one vast ache. She had been right; when she’d gotten closer to Hunter, it was as if she had entered an ion storm. Even now every inch of her skin buzzed. The only time she knew it would stop was when he touched her, grounding their connection when flesh met flesh.

  It had been bad enough being loved by him that one night. Two nights in a row, and twice in one night, and she was a mess.

  A soft groan escaped her as the muscles between her thighs convulsed. Wetness began to soak through the fabric of her body suit. Their mandatory introductory period was for fourteen straight days. She and Hunter had survived two of them. Unless she conceived, they had twelve more to go before moving to the three-nights-per-week period.

  I’ll be dead by then. Star’s computer screen lit up. He already has claimed my body. But would he want to claim her heart?

  “What are your numbers, Star?” Hunter’s voice came over the tiny speakers in the palm unit.

  “We’re off point zero zero four three.”

  “Copy that.”

  She dropped her face into one shaking hand. They needed to talk. Really talk. She and Hunter needed to get out into the open what they were feeling—

  She suddenly went cold. But what if Hunter wasn’t feeling the same things? What if…

  He called you ‘my heart’.

  In her other hand, the palm unit beeped. She had to calm herself before telling him, “Hunter? We have alignment.”

  “Copy. Switching over to Two,” he acknowledged. The sound of his silky baritone almost took her breath away.

  Oh, sweetest heavens, what am I going to do?

  Her eyes stung from the tears welling up. “Oh, crap. No. No,” she breathed out heavily, but there was no way she could avoid it any longer. No way she could deny it. Not any more, no matter how much it terrified her.

  She loved him.

  As hard as it was to admit, as difficult as it was for her to say it aloud, her heart had taken Udo Vosstien and folded him inside her. He was there now, keeping her warm and alive. Feeding her blood with his strength. Filling her head with his spicy, exotic scent.

  There was nowhere she could go now without searching for him in the crowd. No place where she wouldn’t feel comfortable without having him by her side. No night that could pass without wanting him there to keep away the chill.

  And loving her. Making slow, intoxicating love to her. Or taking her to the brink of madness with his blinding assault.

  “How does it look now?” Deceiver’s voice asked over the comm link.

  Star took a deep breath and glanced at the readout. “Come down point two four degrees.”

  “Copy that.”

  “Star?” It was Time Merchant, coming in to do some more adjustments. “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah.” Wiping her arm across her eyes, she managed a ragged chuckle. “I’ll be fine.”

  “What about now?” Deceiver asked.

  She tried to swallow around the lump in her throat, but it was difficult. “Still off. Point zero nine zero.”

  “Copy.”

  A hand squeezed her shoulder. “Want anything? Something to drink?”

  She managed a wan smile as she glanced up at the tall, dark-haired Guardian. “No thanks, Merchant. I promise, I’ll be fine.”

  Giving her a slight nod, Time Merchant left the room. As soon as he was out the door, Star crossed her arms on the communications panel and rested her face on them.

  If she kept her eyes open, she could see him, but he was Master Hunter, in his sable brown uniform and his wide shoulders and narrow waist. And those long legs. Only when she closed her eyes did he become Udo Vosstien. A faceless figure in the darkness who brought her unlimited happiness. Who turned her body and her mind inside out.

  When you can face me in the light, Terrin. When we can make love without the shadows and the darkness, when you can accept me for all that I am, then I will kiss you. And I promise you, I will kiss you like no other man has ever kissed you, or will ever kiss you.

  A whimper escaped her. Immediately a familiar figure was standing beside her.

  “Star?”

  It was Morning Fire, there to give her whatever comfort she could. Slowly, Star turned toward her friend and buried her face in the woman’s shoulder. As she wept openly, small hands stroked her hair.

  “Merchant said you might need me,” Morning Fire told her. “He didn’t tell me you were upset.”

  “What am I going to do, Fire?” Star whispered, not lifting her face from the woman’s shoulder. She was afraid of falling completely apart if she saw any sign of pity in her friend’s eyes. And she knew she would.

  “What has he done to you?” Morning Fire demanded in a soft, tight voice filled with anger.

  For some reason, the thought of the tiny woman going after Hunter to seek revenge painted a ludicrous picture in her mind, and Star laughed in spite of herself. The laugh turned into hiccups. “He’s made me fall in lov
e with him,” she admitted, and finally raised reddened eyes to seek Morning Fire’s response.

  The computer link beeped. Pulling away from her friend’s embrace, Star picked it up and checked the readout. “Deceiver, we have alignment.”

  “Copy. Hunter’s on Three.”

  “Copy. Star, I’m sending those numbers to you now.”

  As she waited for the panel to light up, she could feel Morning Fire keeping a tight grip on her arm with one hand as the other continued to comb her fingers through StarLight’s hair. It felt soothing.

  “What have you got?” Hunter’s voice inquired.

  “A big, whopping one two zero point eight eight zero degrees off.”

  “Copy that.”

  Star lowered the comm link with a thump. It was as if she no longer had any strength left.

  “Oh, damn, Star. Does he know?”

  “No. I haven’t told him.”

  “Why not? Does he love you?”

  “I don’t…” She shook her head. “I don’t know.”

  “Well, dammit, one of you needs to say something!”

  Giving a weak giggle, Star answered, “Don’t you think I already know that? There’s so much I want to talk to him about, but I’m too scared to. This … all of this is so new to me. And on top of everything else, we’re having to follow the HandFast laws—”

  “Give me a readout, Star.”

  “Still off, but it looks better. Point one one one five.”

  “Copy.”

  She started to put the computer down, when Hunter’s voice suddenly came back over the speakers. “Star, is there a problem?” His voice was softer and definitely concerned. They both knew he wasn’t asking about the alignments. Damn his abilities; he’d sensed something.

  “Just talking to Fire. Never mind me,” she told him before thumbing off the switch.

  “All right. Now I’m wanting to get to the bottom of this. Confession time, Terrin DiLyric. Were you in love with him before the HandFast? Or afterwards?”

  “I don’t know for sure. I know he’s always been someone I could go to when I needed comfort and protection. Maybe the HandFast made it definite. All I know is that, when the first report came back from the Committee, I was praying it was negative so we could be together again. I’m … I don’t want to get pregnant, because once I do, he’ll be gone. And what we’ve shared,” she trembled, “it’ll be gone, too.” It felt so good to tell Morning Fire everything. To get it off her chest and let a calmer head help her sort things out. Help her to get a fresh perspective on things.

  A hand brushed a lock of midnight-colored hair from her face. “So, what are you telling me, Star? That you think you’re the only one in this relationship who’s lost her heart? That once you conceive, it’ll be over between you, and things will go back to the way they’ve been? Because if that’s what you’re thinking, you’re stupider than I took you for.”

  Star blinked at her in disbelief. “Why does it make me stupid? It’s fact. Hunter can walk away without looking back. HandFast law allows him that.”

  “And what do you want him to do, instead?” Morning Fire questioned her. “Where do you want this relationship to go? Where do you think it can lead, if anywhere?”

  “I don’t know!” Jumping to her feet, Star took three steps away from her chair, when a voice from her dreams came over the comm link.

  “What are my numbers now?”

  Morning Fire stared at her friend but saw only desolation in the pale face.

  “Star?” Hunter repeated.

  Striding quickly back to the console, Star snatched up the computer. “Point zero three three. Almost but not quite.”

  “Copy.”

  “Here.” She thrust the comm link toward her friend, then turned and started to leave the room.

  Morning Fire called out to her. “Where are you going?”

  “I don’t know! Out! Out of here. It’s too stuffy. Too closed in. I got to get away. I’m going out to get some fresh air,” Star threw back over her shoulder, and hurried out, leaving the petite woman to finish what hadn’t been her job.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter 14

  Sun Dance

  She hadn’t lied when she told Morning Fire the room was closing in on her. She had spent too much of her life floating free amid the vastness of space. That was the biggest reason why she’d had the huge window installed in her quarters. The thing took up nearly one entire wall, but at night she could imagine herself back up there, drifting lazily among the galaxies. Sometimes she missed being out there, but at other times she was so very grateful for the companionship she’d found with the Guardians.

  The outer door flung open at her touch, and suddenly she was flooded with glistening rays of energy. A long minute passed as Star remained in the doorway, eyes tightly shut, and soaked up the hot, white light.

  It reminded her of when she was a little girl, and when things got too bad at home, she’d sneak out of the house and drink in the bright sunshine. She called it sun dancing, and suddenly she knew she needed to feel the star’s healing forces again, just as she used to all those years ago.

  Sun dancing.

  Giving herself up to the magnetic fields, Star felt herself being lifted as gently as a breath. It was warm. Soothing as a balm. As intangible as it was life-sustaining. And it felt wonderful.

  Suspended high in the air, Star stretched out her body, reveling in the midmorning glow. With her legs straight out, her toes pointed, her arms perpendicular to her sides, she tumbled slowly through the air as her body suit sucked the energy from the star and coated her skin with its power.

  Tumbling, rotating, moving gradually over and under in spirals and loops, the sun continued to bathe every inch of her with solar kisses, removing the dark circles under her eyes, and giving her strength.

  “Oh, good heavens above! What’s wrong with StarLight?”

  Time Merchant and Disaster had gone over to Command to see what was holding up Morning Fire, when they’d caught sight of the black-clad woman overhead. Less than a minute later, several others had joined them in watching Star’s slow undulations nearly fifty feet above the courtyard, and she continued to rise.

  When Star hadn’t answered his last diagnostic check, Hunter had popped over to find out why, when Morning Fire dragged him outside to see for himself. It was Corona who finally voiced the unasked question.

  “She said she was feeling cooped up inside. That she had to get out,” Morning Fire told them, yet no one could tear their eyes away from the almost hypnotic way Star was moving. It was like watching a ballet being performed in zero gravity.

  “Is she doing that because she’s in pain?” Blender asked.

  Condemner snorted. “Does she look like she’s in pain?”

  “Looks more like she’s happy to be up there,” said Animator. “Good for her.”

  Walking up next to Hunter, Disaster said, “By all that’s holy, Hunter. Two nights with you, and look at her!”

  He was looking at her. For the life of him, Hunter had no idea why she was up there with her arms outstretched, as if she was trying to embrace the whole world.

  “Yeah, Provoker. You never said anything about her doing something like this when you were dating her!” Commander called out, trying to rankle the man.

  “Yeah. Well, that’s because I gave her enough of what she needed, so that she didn’t have to do that,” Provoker replied, making his insinuations crystal clear.

  No one saw the attack. No one was prepared for the swift justice doled out to the man who suddenly was lying on his back in the middle of the courtyard, the breath knocked out of him, leaving him writhing in pain. Nearby Hunter stood panting heavily.

  Several gasped in shock at the suddenness of it all, but it was Sender who covered her mouth with one hand and pointed at the infuriated Guardian with the other.

  “For the past two years I have heard nothing come out of your mouth about StarLight that wasn’t
inflammatory or derogative,” Hunter said in a deep voice filled with danger. “I warned you earlier, Provoker. I am now her protector and defender, and I say the slandering is coming to an end. Now.”

  He raised his head so that all could see his face, knowing what they would see.

  Morning Fire choked and clutched Bruiser’s arm for support. “Oh, dearest mother…”

  Moaning softly, Provoker managed to roll over onto his side. He held his ribs as he tried to breathe, finally lifting his eyes to stare into a face heavy with suppressed anger. He blinked, and then realized he wasn’t seeing things. Hunter’s eyes had gone black. Totally black, like glittering holes from the deepest part of space. Wisps of blackness circled him like hungry animals waiting and watching for the right time to strike.

  “And I told you, you don’t scare me.”

  “Then maybe it’s time you, and everyone here, found out why I am called Master Hunter.”

  The man blinked out of existence. A split-second later, Provoker convulsed. His eyes bugged out of his head as the man tried to scream, but no sound emerged from his throat. His face reddened, almost to the point of turning purple, and he nearly passed out, until Hunter popped back into sight three feet away, his body as shadowy as a nightmare.

  “I own you now. I control you. You are mine, and you will do as I say or face my consequences.” Hunter’s voice rolled icy and thick over the man lying prostrate on the ground. “Now, with everyone here as witness, you will confess that you never bedded StarLight. Tell the truth for once in your life, damn you.”