Danger Deception Devotion The Firsts

by Lorhainne Eckhart

  For a minute, a powerful jolt went right through him, because he was facing two things: He could either pull something that would anger a group of people who could be a hornets’ nest when denied what they wanted, or he could lose the only woman who’d managed to creep inside his heart and fill the big empty void that had always existed inside him. Either could kill him.

  “Admiral, I can’t let her go. You and I both know what will happen. She’s a US citizen who was abducted.” He heard a sharp intake of breath and, before the admiral could send a direct command over the wire and leave him with a choice he didn’t want to have to make, he added, “No. I have to stand firm. She’s under my protection. I won’t turn her over to them. Please, you have to help me out on this.”

  As he gathered a deep breath, an idea sparked in his head. “I also want to run something past you. If I keep Abby and the baby here, the CIA could let it slip that this is where she is. Of course, this means exposing the ship and crew. Ideally, it would draw Seyed out where they could set a trap for him. It’s a win-win for them, Admiral. Let them have all the credit. I just want Abby safe.”

  “It will be a tough sell,” the admiral replied. “Exposing the ship and crew to these dangers may not be an option. I would have to get approval from Washington.” There was the sound of a chair squeaking. “You should know I’ll have a quick answer from Washington, and then they’ll be sending someone for her. They’ll order you to turn her over.” The Admiral cleared his throat, and Eric could hear someone whispering in the background. “Oh, I meant to tell you that the chaplain is still on the Vincent. He’s planning on leaving today, though, to return to Washington. You may want to consider having him aboard before he flies off.”

  Eric was still holding the phone in his hand when Joe knocked, and Eric watched him shut the door and lean against it. Maybe it was the look on his face that had Joe appear grim.

  He gripped the back of the chair and said with concern, “Eric, it didn’t go well, did it?”

  Eric swallowed the lump in his throat. “No, it didn’t, and it doesn’t sound like I have much time.” Taking a deep breath, he looked at his watch, stood up, and turned toward Joe. “Can you track down the chaplain, Commander Julian Dobson? Find out if he’s still on the Vincent. Then get him over here in the helo—” He stopped talking and jammed all ten fingers in his hair. Then he blew out a hard breath. “I need to go talk to Abby.” He started for the door. “I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

  Joe’s eyes widened, but he didn’t speak.

  “I… I’ve thought about it, Joe. A lot. Never thought it would happen like this, but it’s the only way to protect her.”

  “To keep her on board?” Joe said.

  Eric nodded. “Partly, but it’s the only way to keep them from using her as a guinea pig.”

  “Do you think she’ll agree?”

  Pausing for a second with his hand on the door, Eric lowered his head before pulling it open. “I don’t plan on giving her much choice.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  She was wearing the jeans and taupe button-up shirt that Eric had arranged to include in the supplies that arrived the other day. He’d guessed on her size, but just seeing her face light up to have regular clothes to wear was worth the effort and favors he’d had to call in.

  Even though she’d just had a baby a few weeks ago, she really looked good. She had the most amazing figure, long blond hair that almost reached her waist, a sharp set of cheekbones, and lips that he wanted to lean down and taste every time he looked at them. He also thought her ass was amazing, with the way she filled out a simple pair of jeans.

  He leaned against the door as it clicked closed. Abby watched him from where she lingered in the corner, where she and Rachel had a bed out of the way. The first moment her eyes connected with him, her face lit up. Then she seemed to think about something, and she frowned and wrapped her arms around her middle. He started across the room, heading straight for her, giving a passing glance to the sailor lying on one of the beds. “I need to talk to you,” he whispered.

  She was searching out his face as if she knew something was wrong, and her expression immediately leaped to fear. “What’s wrong? You’re scaring me!”

  When she touched his arm, he could feel how she struggled to stop the tremble, and the last thing he wanted to do was scare her. He knew all too well the places she’d go in her head, so he guided her to edge of her bed. “Sit down,” he said. Then he covered her mouth with his fingers, feeling the softness against his roughness. “Shh, don’t be scared. Please don’t. There’s not a lot of time. Something’s going on, and we need to be married now.”

  She stared at him, and he’d swear she stopped breathing for a second. “What did you say?”

  He set both hands on her cheeks. “Abby, I need you to marry me right now. Don’t say no or that you have to think about it. I just need you to trust me and nod once, a simple yes.”

  “Married. Why would you want to marry me?”

  It was the first time that he had seen her doubt herself, and he was shocked. Didn’t she know what she did to him? Why, she’d all but wrapped him up in a knot! He couldn’t go back to his lonely, isolated life as it had been before. He didn’t want to go there, and he wanted her with him, to be his, only his.

  “Abby, don’t you know the way I feel about you? I want you somewhere safe where I can protect you and Rachel.” He didn’t let her respond, because he didn’t want her to start questioning what and why and who the big bad wolf was who was pounding at the door. He knew that knowledge would tip her right over the edge. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, so soft and hesitant, but she didn’t flinch, didn’t pull away as he feared she would. He didn’t push the kiss, although he wanted to trace his tongue over her lips to taste her. He realized he needed to take it slow. “Please, Abby, just trust me. Please say yes.” He rested his forehead against hers and took in her warm breath. “Abby, do you trust me?”

  “Yes, I trust you. You already know that.”

  “Then will you marry me right now, no questions, just be my wife?” He held her face and then slid all his fingers into her glorious hair, holding her head still as she looked at him. He didn’t know what he saw there, and that worried him.

  So slowly, her eyes filled with a shimmer of tears, and she blinked to hold them back and whispered, “Yes.”

  Eric wasn’t about to give her time to change her mind. What he did was scoop up Rachel, snuggled in her makeshift cradle on the floor beside the bed. She was sleeping soundly, and his heart tripped each time he touched that innocent bundle. He loved her scent, how content she was, and how she gazed up at him with those dark eyes, not those of a monster but something so innocent. She was looking for him to keep her safe.

  “The way you are with Rachel… you want her, don’t you? You’ll also keep my daughter safe, raise her as your own?”

  When he glanced over at Abby, he saw the question she asked as the uncertainty flickered in her expression. “Abby, how could I not want to protect something so innocent? A child should never have to worry about whether she’ll have a parent to protect her, to care for her, where her next meal is coming from. I want to do everything in my power to make sure nothing bad can ever touch her.”

  “Well then, we should go. Eric, Rachel and I would very much like to marry you.”

  He slid his other hand behind her neck and pulled her against him. “Let’s go.”

  ****

  Abby settled Rachel in the bedroom of Eric’s cabin. She used the drawer they’d used during her first few days after giving birth. It had stayed here, and Eric couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he hadn’t moved it. Maybe it was because he knew deep down that he wanted them back here. While Eric fumbled with something on his dresser, he watched Abby study the room as if it was the first time she was in here.

  “Will I share this room with you, or will I still have to stay in sickbay? When I came up to see you a few days
ago, Petey told me I was not allowed to wander the ship and had to stay in sickbay, so I need to know.”

  “Petey was right, and you’re not wandering the passageway, although I love seeing you. I’m sorry, but you need to understand you’re not in the military. You can’t wander around with a baby. You could get knocked over. The ship makes sudden turns.”

  She nodded, but her expression was hidden, as if she didn’t want to share what she was really thinking.

  “And yes, you will stay here now,” he explained.

  This time she did smile, and he knew she was happy because the joy reached her eyes, turning the baby blue a shade lighter.

  Voices from the outer cabin drew Eric away from Abby. He spotted Joe and the doc filing in the doorway along with Julian, the chaplain, whom Eric hadn’t seen since he’d come aboard for an injured sailor. It seemed that Julian was always summoned for those going through a bad time. Eric could feel Abby’s heat as she approached behind him. He said nothing to her but held out his hand and took hers. He led her out to the waiting men.

  “Commander Dobson, this is Abby.” Eric gestured with his free hand and then slid his arm around her shoulders. She stepped closer, pressed against his side.

  Julian was a shorter dark-haired man with a receding hairline, a large nose, and hazel eyes that gave people all his attention. He reached out and took Abby’s free hand in one of his, covering it with the other.

  “Wow, so you’re the one who knocked this guy flat on his backside. I never thought I’d see the day that Captain Eric Hamilton would toss his life as a bachelor into the wind and get married.”

  Eric felt Abby stiffen beside him, and he wanted to kick Julian. The last thing he wanted to do was terrify Abby. “Well, shall we get on with it? I understand you’re heading back to the States today.”

  “Right after I marry you and have a word with a couple sailors, I’ll be flying off to the base to catch the military transport home.”

  Eric winced. He knew how uncomfortable a long flight on one of the transport planes was.

  “Well, enough with formality. Captain, Abby, I’ll get you both to stand here. You two can stand on either side of them as witnesses.” Julian gestured to Joe and the doc. Then he opened his black book and proceeded to marry Eric and Abby. Eric never took his eyes from Abby, and it was only when Julian said, “You may kiss your bride” that he stared down at the simple gold band that now surrounded her ring finger. It was loose, and when they got to port and back to the US he’d have it sized for her or buy her a diamond ring. She was staring at the ring, and he wondered if the plain thin band Julian had brought with him upset her. Maybe she wanted something fancy?

  He slid his hands over her pale cheeks, which filled with pink when she looked up at him. “I’m sorry it’s all I could come up with on short notice. I’ll get you something better.”

  “Eric, it’s not the ring. I never expected one. Please, I wouldn’t care if it came from a Cracker Jack box. No, you can’t change it.” She was so hesitant, the way she looked into his eyes, and when he leaned down and touched his lips to hers softly and then moved his mouth over hers, she responded. Then he pulled away just as a hand patted his shoulder.

  “Congratulations! How does it feel to join all us married me?” Joe asked as he stepped in beside Eric and then kissed Abby on her cheek. “And you, welcome to the family.”

  “Are you all right?” Eric asked her, as she didn’t reply to Joe.

  She smiled up at Eric and stepped closer to him, allowing him to pull her close, as was his right as her husband. “I’m fine.”

  Julian clapped his hands together. “Okay, one more thing. I need signatures on the marriage certificate, and then I’ve got to run.”

  Eric took the pen and scribbled his name. He handed Abby the pen and indicated with his finger where she should sign, and she did so in nice neat loops. Joe and the doc both signed as witnesses. Then Eric was handed the certificate, and the three men left. When he stared back at Abby, he could see the whirlwind he’d just put her through, despite the fact that she was now his. No man would ever have the right to touch her again.

  She fiddled with the ring on her finger and acted nervous, as if she didn’t know what to do with her hands or where to look.

  Eric stepped closer and slid his hands over her shoulders. He held her, and she looked up at him. “Don’t be nervous with me,” he said. “I know you just had a baby. Nothing will happen here.”

  She frowned. “What do you mean, nothing will happen? I’m your wife. Don’t you want me?”

  He couldn’t believe she had even thought that. “Abby, of course I do, but you’re not ready. Come sit down.” He took her hand and led her to the sofa.

  “Eric, I know you told me to trust you, and I do, but why do I feel as if you married me out of duty?”

  He held both her hands in his as he sat on the edge of the sofa beside her. She was staring at both his hands, and when she met his gaze, he said, “Abby, for the past week, I’ve been battling with headquarters. The CIA has been trying to track Seyed.”

  At the mention of the man’s name, Abby tensed, and he could swear she was trembling inside, because she was no good at hiding her deep feelings, and the fear always slammed into her at mock speed, so much like it would with a soldier suffering from PTSD. He tried to protect her, and she fought it. He was so proud of her for how strong she was.

  “They wanted you and Rachel at the base in Bahrain.” When he hesitated, she squeezed his hands and slid closer to him. “The only way for me to prevent that was as your husband. They won’t be able to touch you now.”

  “So this was all business, then, for you. What am I, a cause you’ve taken up because you saved me? Do you feel you need to chain yourself to me for life? What a fool I am! For a minute, I thought you cared for me, that you wanted to marry me.”

  “Abby, stop it. Of course I wanted to marry you,” he snapped.

  “You wanted to marry me to protect me. Am I not right?”

  Eric was feeling cornered because she was twisting his good intentions, and he didn’t like anyone questioning him. He’d asked her to trust him, and now she wasn’t.

  “So you married me out of some sense of obligation.” Her voice caught.

  “Abby, I married you to keep you and Rachel safe.” Why couldn’t she understand how important it was to keep her safe?

  Nodding, she was unable to keep a lone tear from escaping down her cheek. She yanked her hand from his and swiped angrily at it with the back of a hand. “I would like to thank you, then, for Rachel, for wanting to protect her.” She refused to look at him; she stared across the room at his desk.

  She tried to yank her other hand away, but he wouldn’t let it go, so she let it relax limply in his, as if removing herself another way. He finally let her go, and she wrapped her arms around her middle and just stared off.

  She sat there unmoving, as if she’d just shut down, until Rachel whimpered. When she got up and walked away to her baby, she shut the door behind her. Eric did the only thing he could do: He got up and left. He wandered the ship the rest of the day, snapping at anyone who tried to congratulate him until everyone started avoiding him. It was almost midnight when he returned to his cabin. Abby was curled up in his bed, fully clothed, cuddling her baby next to her. “My wife, my child,” he whispered.

  He wanted nothing more than to lie down beside her and pull all that warm softness into his arms, but she was hurt and she hated him. She had misread everything, twisting what he’d done for her as if it meant nothing, and that hurt. Didn’t she know how much he cared for her? He couldn’t say the words, couldn’t go there yet and give her that kind of power over him by admitting that he loved her. He didn’t know when it had happened exactly, when he’d fallen in love with Abby. With Rachel, it had been at the moment she was born, as he watched her lying there, so safe and soft. He knew he had fallen in love with Abby the moment he saw her lying on the deck of his ship, battered and bruised
, alone, as if she’d been sent to him to save him.

  This was his wedding night. They should be wrapped in each other’s arms, sharing thoughts, dreams. Sadness tore through him. He quietly covered them with a blanket, stopping to take a last look and somehow resisting the urge to lean down and kiss Abby’s round, soft cheek. He didn’t want to wake her, to see the hurt reflected in her eyes, so he quietly gathered some clothes and personal items, jamming them in a bag. He tossed it over his shoulder and stole out into the night, passing one sailor in the passageway who gasped but said nothing, and he stomped into Joe’s cabin, where he knew there was a pullout couch.

  Early the next morning, Eric strode onto the bridge of the ship, feeling the vessel’s surge of power beneath his feet. He spoke as little as possible, not that he was ever chatty, but he did only what he needed. He reviewed the report from the intelligence officer from the night watch, received an update from the operations officer, and snapped at anyone who got in his way. He kept reliving last night and Joe’s startled face, his “What the fuck are you doing, Eric?” response as he’d bolted straight up in bed.

  Eric had dumped his gear in the corner, pulled out the sofa bed, and lay down without saying one word. His friend swore again under his breath and soon went back to sleep, but Eric stared into darkness, his gut twisted and knotted, until finally, at dawn, he showered and left a sleeping Joe.

  “Did you sleep at all?” Joe said in a low voice as he appeared beside Eric.

  Eric grunted.

  “Got time for breakfast, Captain?”

  “Grabbed something already.” Eric refused to look at him because he knew damn well Joe was doing what he did with every sailor, trying to find out what was wrong and help him fix it. But Eric didn’t want anyone, not even Joe, anywhere in his business, so he handed the report to the chief as he came onto the bridge. “Not now” was all Eric said as he strode off.

  He didn’t know where he was going, but he could hear Joe’s heavy footsteps right behind him, and he walked faster, stepping through the hatch on deck as wind flicked his short hair. The spray of the sea washed the deck, and Eric moved straight to the side.