The Lost Power: VanOps, Book 1

by Avanti Centrae

  His eyes looked kind and his deep voice was soft. “I’ve noticed you using aikido skills. Are you familiar with your founder’s quote about fear?”

  She shook her head from left to right and managed to whisper, “No.”

  “I appreciate his philosophy regarding how to turn an opponent’s offensive energy into a peaceful resolution, so I’ve studied him a bit. One has much time down here. At any rate, I believe he once remarked something along the lines that, in order to be effective, one must be willing to receive ninety-nine percent of an opponent’s attack and stare death in the face. Fear of death, Maddy. I think you’ll find death at the root of most fears. Once you can stare death in the eyes and laugh, you’ll free up huge amounts of energy.”

  Stare death in the eyes. Lovely. She found her voice, “That sounds like something he’d say. Any tips on how to accomplish that?”

  “The only other advice I can share is our motto: Going in is the only way out.” He opened the door, put his hand on her back, and ushered her through. “Good luck, young lady.”

  After the door shut behind her, she stood and stared down the hallway with his advice echoing in her ears. She had felt on solid ground for a second while talking with Samuel. But in this long hallway leading to nowhere, she knew only fear, smelling it in the air, on her body, in the hallway, even tasting it on her tongue.

  Involuntarily, she took a deep breath and realized she’d been holding it. She took a few more deep breaths, like before an aikido belt test. There’s nothing here to be scared of, you silly goose. It’s a hallway. She took one halting step and then another. Breathe.

  Thirty seconds later, the hallway ended in a carbon copy of the other wooden entry door. She opened it six inches and peered through. There was a ladder, maybe one hundred feet high, also made of wood. Looking up, the ladder led to a diminutive, sky-high platform that connected to a rickety rope bridge. In the dim light, she couldn’t see what was on the other end of the rope bridge.

  To her right, at eye level, there was a glass barrier and below, a well-lit cavern filled with large spiders and venomous snakes. The spiders looked like giant banana tarantulas and the snakes were either coiled or slithering around on the floor. Did the snakes eat the spiders and, if so, how often did they need to replenish the spiders?

  Looking around, she surmised that they had designed these tests so that the way out was to continue. Samuel’s voice resonated again: Going in is the only way out. Heights, snakes, and spiders were not an issue for her, but she knew Will would have a hard time with the heights. And Bear wasn’t allowed to test. This was up to her.

  She took a last look into the pit and started climbing. The wooden ladder felt sturdy under her hands and feet. The rungs were smooth. She was grateful for the lack of splinters. It took her a while to climb to the top. Indeed, it was a tall ladder. Once there, the platform was larger than it had looked from below, maybe six-feet square.

  She didn’t linger but started across the rope bridge. It had slippery wooden slats across the bottom and ropes on either side to hold on to at hand level. Even though she wasn’t necessarily afraid of heights, it was a long way down, so she kept reminding herself to keep her eye on the prize--the platform on the other side of the chasm, which she could see from up here.

  As she moved along the bridge, she slipped once on the wooden slats, then twice. But she held on to the rope and made it across.

  On the far side of what she now called “Spider Chasm,” she sat, caught her breath, and enjoyed her first success. She recalled from rumors that the next test was a drop into a pool of water far below.

  She wanted to build on her momentum and didn’t delay. Instead, she followed the platform for about fifteen feet and through an arched doorway. On this side of the arch, the platform became a pirate’s plank, complete with a dark, deadly sea below.

  As she stared down, she guessed that the water below was about the same distance down as she had climbed up the ladder. Far. But not Acapulco-diver far. And no sharks, she smiled to herself. She could do this.

  But Will? Will would hate this one, too. Would he even make it this far? Doubtful. She was afraid, but it was a normal sort of fear, wondering how far below she’d land and on what. Going in is the only way out. Knees quaking a little, she reminded herself that the waterfall in Spain they had plunged over was probably twice as high. That helped and she jumped.

  After a heartbeat, she landed in a large pool of water, feet first. She had done it! The water was cool but not cold. After her exertions so far, it felt refreshing. She floated for a moment, glad to be done with that test.

  A small light beaconed and she swam over to it. As she neared, she could see that it was an oil lamp, with a towel and change of clothes laid out for her, along with a glass of water and a snack of dates and almonds. Her belly grumbled, so she took advantage of the food and drink and looked around.

  There it was--another door. Three tests. The third and final door.

  In her stomach, the butterflies started dancing again. She stood and went through the door. In this room, cut into the stone wall, there was only a dark, narrow tunnel and another oil lamp flickering on the wall.

  This tunnel. This was what she was afraid of.

  She peered into it. There was no light. It was four feet high, but had heard it narrowed. Argh, she’d have to crawl or slither on her belly. Pulling the lamp off the wall, she knelt down and thrust it into the tunnel but couldn’t see the end. The tunnel narrowed. She could get trapped in there, not be able to turn around. The earth could crush her.

  Her heart slammed in her chest, her breathing got shallow, and her face felt flushed. She tried to quiet her mind like her father had taught them when they were young. It didn’t work on her mind or her body.

  Panicked, she knelt at the opening, rigid and frozen with fear.

  CHAPTER 36

  9:50 a.m.:

  When it was his turn to test, Will walked up to the ladder and stood there, dumbstruck. Samuel, the male guardian, had told him the only way out was in, but Will wasn’t so sure. Couldn’t he just turn around and walk back out?

  The firelight from the torches made eerie shadows on the spider and snake pit. Looking into the pit with his forehead pressed to the glass and his breath uneven, he felt inadequate. He wanted a smoke. This wasn’t going to go well.

  Earlier in the week, the three of them had talked about how everybody handled their fears in their own way. Bear had a dogged, small steps desensitization-type approach, and Maddy had a just-do-it-if-you-can’t-avoid-it approach. Will decided he was just going to do it. Hell, in a few hundred years, would it matter? He’d be long dead.

  The wooden rung of the ladder felt slippery in his palm. While he climbed, he focused on his hands and kept reminding himself that he’d die someday anyway. If this didn’t kill him. Halfway up, he started to hyperventilate. Pausing, he wrapped one arm around the rung and held on tight with his other hand.

  Then he made the mistake of looking down into the pit.

  Will began to shake. He looked across the chasm and, with an almost fatal attraction, again looked down. The view made him lightheaded, nauseous, and he vomited. The splat of his breakfast hitting the ground sounded loud in his ears. I can’t do this.

  Frustration and embarrassment overwhelmed him, nearly to the point of tears. As fear warred with determination, his hand reached out and grabbed the next rung, but his knees were shaking so much that he figured he would die if he continued.

  He just couldn’t do it. It was so high and he would die. I’m not safe. He would fall in the pit and either hit his head or get bitten by one of the creepy crawlies. Surely Maddy would make it through.

  Feeling sick, disappointed, and despondent, he crawled back down the ladder.

  CHAPTER 37

  10:05 a.m.:

  Deep in the heart of the Jerusalem Testing Society, Maddy knelt at the mouth of the tunnel and stared into it with the lamp from the wall. How was she going to make it
through to the other side? To find the châsse and the truth about why her father was murdered, she had to find a way. After another deep breath, she stood and put the wall lamp back in its sconce.

  She was having an emotional reaction. Or overreaction. Why am I so afraid of small spaces? This is completely irrational. When had this fear started?

  Just outside the blasted tunnel, she sat down, brought her knees to her chest, and again stared into the darkness. Going in is the only way out. Was Samuel talking literally or metaphorically? Some of the other students had talked about going into their fears to eliminate them and maybe that’s what he meant. It hadn’t sounded like a good idea at the time the students had mentioned it, but she was desperate. Also, if memory served, her aikido sensei had mentioned the same process once.

  It was worth a try. Closing her eyes, she turned off her thoughts and began to let herself feel. She focused on the tendrils of fear in her face, her hands. Her face was a bonfire. Her eyes flew open. I can’t do this. There had to be another way. As she looked into the depths of the tunnel, she couldn’t will herself to enter it.

  With no better choice, she took a few deep breaths, looked around, reminded herself that she was safe sitting here, and closed her eyes again. With her mind, she reached out to sense the fire in her face. It was anger. Go in to it, go on in. Grrrrrrrrr. Her hands and arms tensed. Tight. Tight. The heat subsided and a tide receded from her face.

  There, what was that sensation in her stomach? Heavy. Cold. Her heart, too.

  Someone...who is it?...was holding her down and pushing her into a closet. Although it was a memory, she could smell the cologne. Old Spice. She tried to shrink in on herself. Inside the closet, it seemed the house was falling down on top of her.

  Out!

  She wanted to get out.

  But couldn’t. The door--it was locked. She pushed on the door. Whimpered. Feeling ensnared, caught like a wolf in a trap, she began to cry.

  She breathed into the feeling, the stuck feeling. Really felt it. No resistance. She let herself sob. Sank into being trapped.

  Sometime later, the feeling shifted--I am free.

  The weight left her chest in a rush.

  Relaxed and surprised, she opened her eyes, stunned. It had worked!

  Wow--that memory must have been from when she was young, perhaps five years old. Dazed, looking into the darkness, she sensed pieces falling into place. Pieces of her psyche that she’d forgotten about, or buried. No wonder she was afraid of small spaces. As a child, she’d been locked in a closet, multiple times. She’d carried that baggage around far too long.

  But she was an adult now. An adult who could break out of a cursed closet if she needed to. I am free.

  The tunnel called to her, challenged her to test her newfound sense of balance. She took a deep breath and crawled into the tunnel on her hands and knees. Like a mantra, she repeated I’m free, I’m free. The floor was smooth, as were the walls. No light entered the tunnel but it also didn’t get any smaller, for which she thanked all the gods and goddesses she could think of. That must have been a rumor.

  After crawling for two long minutes, she noticed a bit of light bouncing off a wall ahead. As she crawled farther, she could see that the tunnel curved to the left. She quickened her pace.

  The end of the tunnel was fitted with a door that held a tiny round window. The exit gave to her gentle push and she was out, into the light and into Edith’s arms, laughing and wiping a few more tears from her cheeks.

  CHAPTER 38

  7:00 p.m.:

  Will sat at the dinner table and looked around to see who was missing and who had passed at the Jerusalem Testing Society. Although he had failed, the Guardians had told him that since Maddy had passed, as her twin, he had another hour to decide if he was going to stay through her duel.

  Or, he could take the safe route and wait for her in Jerusalem. Based on their body language, it seemed they were encouraging him to leave, for his own safety.

  He wanted to be there for Maddy, help if he could. But was it safe here if he stayed? Was it any safer above?

  Some people were missing from the long table. The faces that remained wore expressions of relief and pleasure. He had heard two other guys, like him, had failed on the heights and weren’t there. Joy was gone, too.

  Tonight’s fish was delicate and delicious, served in a light cream sauce. The prohibition against alcohol had been lifted for the evening, and Will enjoyed the wine served with the fish, a decent chardonnay.

  “Joy failed at the bridge,” Juergen said with his German accent. “It was touch and go for me on that bridge, too. Can’t say I blame her.”

  Maddy’s eyes were glued to him. “You slipped and hung by one arm over the pit?”

  “Ya, I did slip. The one-arm part may have happened for a moment. It’s all a bit of a blur.”

  “It’s amazing that you were able to pull yourself hand over hand to the far side!”

  “I didn’t want to land in that viper pit!”

  Although Juergen was trying to make light of it, his face was pale and his eyes were pinched. He looked stressed.

  Bear looked uncomfortable at the way Maddy oozed over Juergen. Not much Will could do about that heartbreak, though.

  Will took another drink of wine, looked over, and caught Hana looking at him. She winked, startling him. He grinned back, happy that she had passed. Maybe she’d be willing to hook up with him again if he stuck around--

  That same intense mix of guilty pleasure stirred as memories of making love with Maria warred with more recent visions of Hana. His heart beat faster and his vision blurred for a moment. Pleasure. But too much guilt. No, he couldn’t do it.

  Will focused with an effort and thought back to his walk of shame from the ladder back into the room with Samuel. While ushering Will out, the guardian had reminded him that because they were twins, if Maddy passed, he could stay if he chose. Although, Samuel warned Will that the dangers for him were not necessarily over. The caution in Samuel’s eyes was clear: If Will didn’t leave after dinner tonight, he was committed for the duration of Maddy’s time here.

  Juergen cracked a self-deprecating joke and Hana laughed. With the firelight reflected in her long blonde hair and her blue eyes lit with amusement, she looked like an angel. So different from Maria, yet so lovely. Much had happened since Maria’s death. It already seemed like a long time ago. The king’s words about finding love again came back to him and the sadness in his heart swelled anew. He was in no way ready for love. Even if Hana was willing, what had happened once could not happen again. He sighed.

  The end of dinner came and the group moved to a side room to play some cards. Should he stay? Maddy might need his help. He’d gotten pretty decent with his knives. Will gave up on the idea of leaving the underground complex and followed Hana, watching her hips as she walked.

  CHAPTER 39

  July 7, 8:30 a.m.:

  The next morning, the seventh day of their time at the Jerusalem Testing Society, Edith popped her head into the dining room and grabbed Maddy, Bear, and Will. Time had run out and today was the day of the duel.

  Maddy didn’t feel ready and never would if “ready” meant killing someone. She had never had to use her aikido skills in a dangerous setting and wasn’t ready to now, even though she’d implied she was when fighting about it with Will. She felt like a bamboo practice staff broken in two parts, knowing she needed to pass the test so they could find the châsse, but also knowing that killing was anathema in her heart and in her aikido practice.

  She felt almost dizzy, as if she were floating. When Edith grabbed her elbow, Maddy’s stomach went cold. Stare death in the face, she remembered Samuel saying.

  “Come this way. Come with me,” Edith fluttered.

  “Weapon or no weapon?” Maddy asked.

  “Sorry, no weapon.”

  Maddy handed her swords to Will and followed Edith on a surreal walk into a round room shaped like a small amphitheater. There
was a circular box of sand in the center. A decorated, domed ceiling was held aloft by thick stone columns, the same sandstone material used in the rest of the underground compound. Extra oil lamps lit the space, so that the lighting was nearly as bright as what Maddy recalled to be the light of day.

  After leading Maddy to the center of the sand, Edith motioned for Bear and Will to sit on wooden benches near Samuel. They were the only occupants in the amphitheater, which lent the space a vacant, hollow feeling.

  Since she was closer to the domed ceiling now, Maddy squinted to see the multitude of blue-and-white tiles that lined the dome. The effect was gorgeous. Was it the last thing of beauty she’d ever see? Or, for that matter, just the last thing she’d view?

  Samuel rang a bell. A young man entered from a black wooden door on the other side of the room and walked calmly over to stand in front of Maddy. She searched his narrowed brown eyes for a long moment, seeking something...kindness? Compassion? Mercy? Instead, there was icy hatred, and her hope of getting out of this with them both alive dwindled away with the smoke of the oil lamps.

  She studied the rest of him, now as an opponent. He wore a black T-shirt and blue jeans with standard workman boots. His clothes signaled nothing, but his muscled arms and chest captured her attention and told her the guy was strong. Probably aggressive. Her hackles rose.

  In a voice that filled the empty space in the amphitheater, Samuel announced, “This is a fight to the death. By the laws of this land, this man is a convicted terrorist.”

  The man spit in the sand. Maddy questioned if he was a criminal. In Jerusalem, it didn’t take much to get on the wrong side of the law.

  “He has chosen this fight over twenty more years in prison. Today, death or freedom is his fate. Fight well and fight with honor.”