If Onions Could Spring Leeks

by Paige Shelton

  “I don’t know.”

  “I think I do, so here’s the thing. I’d like to welcome that crush into our lives and see how that goes. I can’t make any promises that I’ll keep this attitude, but I’d like to see if this is better than me knowing that you feel guilty about something and wondering what could be so awful that you’re mad at yourself. Quit being mad at yourself. I don’t care if you have a crush on a dead person. I don’t see that it matters in the least.”

  “Wow.”

  “I know. Progressive, right?”

  “Very,” I said with a smile, and then something happened. I was suddenly less burdened. Truthfully, I didn’t feel like I deserved to be less burdened, but I was nonetheless. “You might be right.”

  Cliff shrugged. “I might be. I might not be.”

  “Huh,” I said.

  “Betts, you are the girl for me. You have been since I dumped Opie so I could date you—I know, back then and for all this time I’ve denied that I dumped her for you, but now I’m telling the truth. I think it happened during math class. Your hair was in a messy ponytail and you were disgusted with how silly Lenny Warren was being when the teacher asked him a question. You didn’t hide your disgust. You raised your hand, gave the right answer, and told Lenny to stop acting like such a child.”

  “I have no memory of that moment.”

  “I do. I fell head over heels right then and there, funny hair and all. I dumped Opie at lunch, waiting two whole weeks to ask you out. And, no matter what I told my ex-wife, you were a big part of the reason I wanted a divorce. I tried, but I could never feel for her the way I felt for you. That didn’t seem fair to anyone.”

  “I guess I should apologize to her,” I said, hiding the shock that zipped through me with the confessions. I’d had no idea.

  “Anyway.” Cliff smiled. “I’m not going to try to win your heart by fighting with a dead guy. I think you’re just like me, Betts; I think you have no real doubt who you belong with even if you feel pulled in other directions sometimes. You’d come back to me. I can always wait. So, I’m welcoming Jerome into our lives, whatever that means, and remember, I don’t really want to know what that means. I’m okay with thinking abstractly. I don’t need real pictures in my head.”

  “I’m beginning to think I might not be worth all this,” I said.

  “I’ll be the judge of that.”

  “Thank you, Cliff,” I said.

  Much to my disappointment, our moment had to end because Cliff was called back to the police station, which turned out to be a good thing. Gram and I suddenly had to think about vegetables because, surprisingly, she had not made the calls to cancel class, and a few students started showing up.

  Chapter 10

  “Isn’t there just only so much someone can do with green beans?” April said.

  “Oh, pish,” Gram said. “Green beans can be simple and delicious or a little more complicated and still delicious. They’re one of my favorite items to put with garlic. And green bean casserole? Who in the world doesn’t love that?”

  April, Todd, and Roy had come to class. April hadn’t heard about Derek, and I suspected Todd’s feelings for April caused him to stalk her house and follow her almost wherever she went. Honestly, I didn’t think that was much of an exaggeration. Roy had come just because he thought he should. He hadn’t heard from anyone, so he didn’t want to be rude.

  We’d shared the news with April, and then moved awkwardly on to the cooking. There would be no fried green beans because we hadn’t had time to prepare, but we improvised with something simple: green bean casserole, with the crunchy onions on top.

  “I love green bean casserole,” Roy said as he twisted the crank of the can opener. “I love cream of mushroom soup no matter what, but on green beans, it’s so good.”

  “I’m not a big fan of the soup, but as part of the casserole, I’m in,” Todd said.

  Actually, he’d been behaving much better than the last time I’d seen him. He’d either had a talk with himself or someone had told him to relax a little and just try to get to know the new girl in town, without accidentally killing himself along the way.

  April was a little different, too. Though I hadn’t asked specifically, I was under the impression that Gram had told her exactly what was causing Todd to act so strangely. April tried to make innocuous jokes with him—maybe trying to put him at ease a little. I was sure that we all hoped for the same thing, that Todd and April would actually date and we could all get over the uncomfortable parts together. Whether or not the relationship would be successful would be up to them, but their dating might, at least, put us out of our misery.

  “All right, here it is, stir everything together except for two-thirds of a cup of those crunchy onions. Good, Roy. Yes, Todd, just stir. Pour the mixture into your casserole dishes and put ’em in the ovens for twenty-five minutes. We’ll take them out, stir them again, and then cook for five more minutes,” Gram said.

  Everyone put their casserole into an oven and took their seats again. Though we weren’t prepared, Gram had enough knowledge to have something to talk about while the casseroles cooked.

  “While we’re waiting, let’s talk about onions,” she said.

  Everyone nodded agreeably.

  “Not those crunchy onions that I love so much, but just plain old onions. They’re a pretty amazing food, magical in some peoples’ minds,” Gram said.

  Roy laughed.

  “True,” Gram said. “Egyptians thought onions could cure thousands of ailments. They included them with their pharaohs when they buried them in their tombs. They saw the onion as a representation of eternal life, with its circle-inside-of-circle pattern. King Ramses IV was entombed with onions in his eye sockets.”

  “That’s weird,” Todd said.

  Gram shrugged. “Beyond that, they have always been a part of diets everywhere, mostly probably because of their durable qualities. Stored properly, onions can last a long time. They can also be dried and eaten later, perhaps in the winter when other fresh food is more difficult to come by, like in the days of old.”

  “Oh, hang on, I remember reading somewhere that Russians applied onions to open wounds during World War II,” Roy said.

  “Doesn’t surprise me. Onions are amazing; so is garlic, but that’s for another day. Basically, our stinkiest food items are known to be full of healing properties, too,” Gram said.

  “I have eaten a raw onion or two in my day,” Roy said. “Though I’ve only done so when I knew I wasn’t going to be around many people.”

  “I like onions sautéed in olive oil,” Todd said. “And I add mushrooms, too.”

  “Delicious,” Gram said.

  Everyone smiled along with Gram, but then a lull suddenly hit the group.

  “Roy,” Todd said, bringing us out of the lull and addressing the 800-pound elephant that had been lurking in the room. “You found Derek and Betts?”

  “I did,” he said. He glanced at Miz, as though to check if it was okay to take the conversation that direction. Gram gave him one quick nod.

  “I thought they were both dead,” Roy continued as he scooted up and onto a stool.

  I didn’t like hearing that; neither did Gram. She cringed. I sent her a small smile but it didn’t help.

  “That sounds just awful,” April said in a tone that meant tell me more.

  “Yeah,” Roy said as he pushed his glasses up his nose a little. “It happened quickly, but I think my heart stopped beating, and I stopped breathing from the second I saw them in the barn until the police got there. It was like I got detached from myself. Even my hearing stopped working, I think. Or that’s what it seemed like.”

  “What, you just walked in and saw them there?” Todd asked.

  “No.” Roy shook his head. “I came in the front doors and heard something in the back.”

 
“The back of the barn? Is there a back door?” I asked. I didn’t think there was a back exit.

  “Sort of. It’s a skinny door that we’re not supposed to use because it isn’t regulation size, but I use it. It’s a slat more than a door,” Roy said.

  “Did you see someone back there?” I asked.

  “As I went through the front doors, I thought I heard a crash, metallic. Like big, heavy chains falling to the ground. I asked if there was anyone there, but no one answered. I thought I should check it out, so I walked around the perimeter of the inside of the barn to make my way. There was no one there and no chains. I stood there probably a good minute, scratching my head and looking around. And then I heard the front doors shut. From where I was I couldn’t see the front anymore, so I called out again. But when no one answered this time, I cut through the middle. That’s when I came upon Betts and Derek. And, here it gets a little foggy, but I think I ran to Betts and shook her shoulders. She groaned. You groaned, Betts, and there was no blood on you so I thought you were probably okay. But I could tell right away that Derek was worse off. I didn’t want to touch him but not because there was blood everywhere. I was more concerned with hurting him worse if something was broken. I think I called his name and pinched his arm, of all things. He didn’t respond, of course. But you sat up.” He looked at me. “You said Derek was dead and that I should call the police.”

  “I don’t remember any of that,” I said.

  “I wondered if you would,” Roy said. “Anyway, Jim was there only a minute after I called. Jenny must have gotten ahold of him right away.”

  “The woman who answers the police dispatch phone?”

  “Yeah, Jenny. You know Jenny,” Roy said.

  I didn’t, but I didn’t feel like now was the time to bring up my experiences with Jenny, the woman everyone but I seemed to know, and the woman who never seemed to get my messages to the police.

  I hadn’t noticed that Gram had moved next to me. She squeezed my arm.

  “I’m so sorry about Derek, and I’m sorry for Lynn,” she said. “I’m grateful my granddaughter is fine, but Derek’s death is a real loss. Betts and I are going to go see Lynn tomorrow. We’ll be sure and extend everyone’s condolences if you’d like.”

  “That would be great, Miz,” Roy said. “I’ve wanted to talk to Lynn. I wanted to come talk to Betts, but I’ve been in shock, I think, and I heard you were doing all right.” He looked at me again.

  “I didn’t know either Derek or Lynn well at all,” April said. “But Derek seemed like a nice enough guy even if he was really quiet.”

  No one had voiced their opinions of the much more vocal Lynn. Even April had had the chance to figure her out. Now, of course, wasn’t the time, but you could see those thoughts in their expressions.

  Gram, probably sensing everyone’s discomfort, said, “You know, Lynn saved a group of Broken Rope tourists many years ago, back in the early tourist days. There was a time that she was looked upon as a town hero,” Gram said.

  We all turned toward her as silent disbelief filled the air.

  “Yes, she was quite the spirited woman when she was younger, which was before everyone here’s time. You might have been a child when it happened, Roy, but you were probably too young to pay any attention.”

  “I don’t know a thing about it,” Roy said.

  “It happened right in the middle of the summer. The weather was cooperating and we weren’t experiencing our typical miserable humidity, so the town was extra busy. Back then we performed more fake gunfights than we do now, and there was one that was particularly popular. It took place down the middle of Main Street—almost all of Main Street. Lynn was a young woman, maybe not eighteen yet, I’m not sure.” Gram squinted back into the past. “Anyway, she was in the skit. She played the ‘damsel in distress’ part, and she was glorious.” Gram looked at me. “You think Opie has a flair for drama, you should have seen Lynn.” She turned her attention back to her students. “She was tied to a post by the bad guy and then saved by the good guy, but only after a rigorous gun battle. The participants moved up and down the street, hiding behind posts, or horse ties, or swinging saloon doors. It was all very participatory—the gunfighters would even hide behind tourists and shoot around them. Frankly, even with blanks, it wasn’t all that safe and I was relieved when we stopped doing it, but that day it got really out of hand.”

  “Oh, don’t tell me someone was killed by a gun that was shooting blanks,” Roy said.

  “No,” Gram said. “Some horses got loose. We used to keep a number of them corralled right next to where your Trigger barn is. That was a convenient spot to keep them for the skits they participated in. No one paid attention at the time to the fact that spot might be a danger for the tourists. And for some reason, that day the horses got spooked by the gunshots and they broke down the corral posts—the posts weren’t reliable anyway. The horses stampeded the street. They were frantic, tourists were frantic. Lynn freed herself from the ropes that were loosely tied around her and the post and she put herself in the middle of all the chaos. She stopped the horses, not before getting hurt first. One horse ran into her, knocked her down, almost trampled her, but didn’t. When she stood and brushed herself off, she became single minded. She was going to stop those horses. Ultimately, it was almost like she hypnotized them. This was long before the term ‘horse whisperer’ came into fashion, but I am sure that’s what she was, a horse whisperer.”

  “How?” April asked.

  “She stood and put her hands up in the halt position. They’d run right at her, but she was so angry about being knocked over, I think, that she didn’t want them to ever think they had one up on her. They’d just stop right before trampling her. It was an amazing sight.”

  “That must be one of those tales that’s changed over the years, become a better story than it really was,” I said. “That doesn’t sound possible.”

  “I watched the whole thing.”

  “Wow,” I said.

  “However, something else happened at the same time,” Gram said. “After that was when she became more like the Lynn that we all know. I’m sorry for her loss, but we all know how Lynn complains about everything. That’s when it all started. We all thought maybe she got knocked around enough that it put her in constant pain, so those who know about it are more tolerant than those who don’t.”

  “Wild story,” Todd said.

  “I know. Everyone was amazed, and extremely grateful to her. No one else got hurt. She was the town hero for a long time, until everyone got tired of hearing her complain about everything,” Gram said.

  “Didn’t I hear something about Derek being married a bunch of times?” April asked.

  “Yes, he was married five times,” I said.

  “Some people just get married a lot,” Roy said as he shrugged.

  I, and probably Gram too, noted his unspoken words. There were some people, like Roy, who never got married at all.

  His shrug put an end to the conversation.

  “Casseroles are ready to stir and then cook for a little longer,” Gram said as an egg-shaped timer dinged from the top of one of the stoves.

  The rest of the evening was filled with casserole sampling and food discussions—everyone was pleased with their green bean efforts.

  Once everyone was gone, Gram and I cleaned up, both of us too tired to rehash the afternoon’s events. We promised we’d revisit everything the next day. And I was so exhausted by the time I got home that I didn’t even consider calling Cliff to ask if he’d be coming over that evening. I crashed on my bed, and though my sleep wasn’t disrupted by any ghosts, a human wanted to rouse me at a ridiculously early hour.

  Chapter 11

  Whoever was pounding on my front door must have been endowed with some strong arm muscles.

  “Good grief,” I muttered to myself as I looked at the time on my phon
e. It was almost six in the morning, but not quite.

  The pounding continued.

  “I’m coming,” I said. I sat up and made sure I was dressed appropriately enough to answer the door. I was in a T-shirt and shorts. My legs didn’t have much opportunity to get sun so I might blind the person knocking, but I figured they deserved it for bothering me at that hour.

  I looked out one of the small fanned windows at the top of the front door. It was a woman I thought I’d seen around town a time or two, but I didn’t know who she was. She was older than me, pretty, in an “I’m ready for work and you aren’t” way, and serious, if the pinched look on her face was any indication. Her blond, short ponytail was neat and her makeup conservative and in place. She wore clothes that I would regard as dressy, but were technically classified as business casual.

  Keeping the chain on, I opened the door a small gap.

  “Yes?” I said in a not too unfriendly manner.

  “You’re Betts Winston, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m Bonnie Rowlett. I kept my married name. I was married to Derek at one time. Can I come in?”

  I blinked and put her in focus a little better. It was unwise to allow a stranger in, but she seemed pretty harmless. I also remembered Teddy mentioning she was an attorney. Though that didn’t make her non-threatening automatically, she at least had learned the law. Hopefully she was, in turn, abiding by it.

  “Sure, come on in.” I unlatched the chain and welcomed her inside. “Coffee?”

  “No, thanks; I really can’t stay long.”

  “Have a seat.”

  She took one end of the couch and I took the other.

  “What’s up?” I said.

  “I heard you asked Wendy about Derek and Lynn and their relationship,” she said.