Thief of Happy Endings

by Kristen Chandler

  I walk out into the sunlight, which is viciously bright. I walk up to my tent without seeing anyone. I wonder if I’ve missed a few days and everyone has gone home. Then I hear Ethan’s laugh. I walk faster. Inside our little tent a party is commencing. Everyone, all seventeen campers, are crowded all over our four cots and on the ground. Talking, drinking from cans of soda, and eating large amounts of contraband snacks that came from who knows where. In the tent. So against the rules. Spider and Banner are cozied up together, but everyone else is scattered all over the place. Danny, Granger, Devri and company, all hanging out together like they like one another. Alice propped up so high on her mattress and pillows in between Ethan and Charlie she looks like the queen of campers.

  Everyone looks up. “Cassidy!” They all say together.

  Alice jumps off her purple throne. “Are you feeling better?”

  Ethan stands up to get a closer look at my face. “That is sexy, girl.”

  “Not really,” I say. I touch my bruised and cut face. I mean, Riker slapping me is not sexy. Getting hit is hideous. Still, I feel a little bit of that thing Mrs. Sanchez was talking about. Not pride. Because the whole thing is just sad and awful about Riker and Justin. But I’m okay with the fact that I’m standing here right now with my friends and that Justin’s safe from his dad. “What’s going on with Justin? Is he back yet?”

  “Justin, Justin Justin,” says Charlie. He has a chocolate chip cookie in his hand, which he tries unsuccessfully to hand to me. “We are your fun friends. You have to sit down and eat unhealthy food with us before we get all serious again.” Charlie might be high on sugar.

  Alice says, “Justin’s still in town. He has to finish with the social worker before he can came back here. But Officer Hanks is going to press charges.”

  Charlie says, “Alice. You’re a buzzkill. But not nearly as big a buzzkill as Officer Hanks.”

  Ethan says, “Officer Hanks has a video of Justin vandalizing federal property and letting mustangs out of the holding pen. Kid’s got a problem.”

  I say, “He has a lot of problems, Ethan. But I’ve been thinking about it. I mean, I thought you guys could help me figure out a way to help him.”

  “You really are relentless,” says Banner, walking across the tent toward us. She’s in a red tank top and ripped-up Daisy Dukes. The girl has way too much attitude, but there is nobody like her.

  It’s such a relief to see Banner I accidently hug her. She’s so surprised she almost falls backward over Scotty’s legs, which are right in the way. “Whoa, girl. You don’t want to spend all that in one place.”

  “Sorry,” I say. Luckily my cheeks are already bright red. “Coulter told me you decided to stick around. It’s awesome he let Spider stay here.”

  “Yeah, the old man can be okay. Did he tell you my dad is threatening to fly out here and get me one day before we all go home? I told him if he so much as steps on a plane, I’m gone. But if he lets me come back on my own, with Spider, I’ll come back and go to school in the fall. I even promised to stop smoking.” She rolls her eyes at me when she says this and looks over at Spider. He’s watching her from across the room. His eyes are smiling. Gaah. The way he looks at her kind of melts me.

  “Is your dad going for that?” In my head I’m thinking about what my parents would do if I wanted to drive cross-country on a motorcyle with Spider. They would fly out here, too.

  “My mother is being sort of sane. For her, anyway. She says that she’s tired of fighting. And the smoking thing broke her will. She started praising Jesus when I told her.”

  “You’re relentless,” I say.

  “GAWD yes,” says Banner leaning away from me. She gives me the once-over like she did the first day I was here. “Look at you. All hardcore and badass with that cut.” And at least part of her meaness is gone. I’ll miss her when I’m back in Colorado. It’s like living next to a fire station. I never know what she’s going to do next. Maybe my baby sisters can torment me if I get too lonely.

  Banner turns and steps over Scotty, who is staring up at her teeny tiny shorts. She flicks his boot with her painted toes and laughs. “Don’t chase something you can’t handle, Scotty. And you can’t handle this.”

  Scotty dies and looks away.

  No. Nobody like Banner.

  Chapter Fifty-Six

  OFFICER HANKS DRIVES too fast through the ranch gate right as we are all about to eat dinner. He drives up to the house and parks on Kaya’s favorite wildflowers.

  Coulter turns to Darius. “This guy doesn’t quit, does he?”

  “Want me to rope him, boss? Just say the word.”

  “Then we’d have to keep him.”

  When Miles gets to the fire he singles me out in a hurry, which surprises me. Maybe the plan I’ve cooked up with the gang isn’t going to work after all. He’s sweating through his hat. Nobody makes a joke or says anything at all to him. Ethan raises his eyebrows. I hope I know what I’m doing.

  Miles looks at Coulter uncomfortably. “I need to talk to Cassidy, in private. Can we talk in the house?”

  I look over at Coulter and Mrs. Sanchez, who are giving team shade to Miles.

  Darius says, “Evening, Miles, you here to arrest Cassidy, too? Your quota low today?”

  Mr. Sanchez takes a few slow steps toward Miles. “Can’t you take one of the lazy ones? I like this girl.” He smiles at me. He must think that Officer Hanks is kidding around.

  Coulter looks less amused. “I’ll walk down with Cassidy. No reason for her to talk to you alone. Seems like that might be against some kind of law or another.”

  When we get to the dining room Officer Hanks asks me to sit down at the table. Coulter sits down next to me. Officer Hanks says, “It really isn’t necessary for you to stay, Tim. I’m just going to ask a few questions.”

  “It’s necessary to me, Miles. I like to do things by the book, too.”

  “Look. It’s some questions, okay? I’ve heard that Cassidy and Justin spent a lot of time together. I hear they’re a thing.”

  I would not have predicted that Kaya would be gossiping about me and Justin to Miles.

  “A thing?” bursts out Coulter. “And why in the name of hell are you interested in my campers’ love lives, Miles?”

  I am either about to be interrogated or break up a fistfight.

  “I can save you both some time.” I look carefully at Officer Hanks. I need to see his face, but horses have taught me to watch the back hooves, too. I say, “I released your horses.”

  Officer Hanks looks at me with disgust. “No, you didn’t. Justin released my horses.”

  “Aww hell,” says Coulter. “You did not release horses, Cassidy.”

  “Yes. I did. I’ll testify to it in court. Because I’ll also testify that Officer Hanks”—I don’t look at them—“allowed a whole bunch of federal laws to be broken, too. He chased horses, including pregnant mares, in the heat. He let horses get hurt and then didn’t do anything but let them bleed. He gathered them without court permission, just because a rancher bullied or bribed him into it. He even tied up a mare with enough slack to hang herself. That video he took probably shows that he broke more laws than Justin.”

  Coulter chuckles. “Welcome to my world, Miles.”

  “Miss Carrigan?” Miles’s voice is testy. “I’m here to ask you questions about Justin.”

  I say, “Officer Hanks, I’m not trying to be disrespectful, but do you even have room for all these horses you’re gathering up?”

  “That’s not what we’re talking about. Justin broke the law.”

  “So did you.”

  “Careful, Miles. She might put you on YouTube. You could get famous.”

  I say, “Viral is more like it.” I’m totally bluffing about making my own video, but I like how it makes Officer Hanks look when I say it.

  “The laws I brok
e aren’t workable.” Officer Hanks’s voice rises. “Do you think I like chasing mustangs? They kick and bite and throw up dust. The gathering facilities are full. Why do you think I’ve been keeping the horses in those awful makeshift pens out in the desert? It’s a giant waste of time and money. I’m just trying to keep the peace.”

  “I know, Officer Hanks. But it’s not working.” My brain is on an adrenaline high. Charlie said my idea didn’t totally lack merit. Ethan told me I was a dangerous woman. Alice told me not to forget to talk about money. I know there isn’t an answer for everything. But there has to be a better answer than Justin going to jail.

  “What if you moved the herds someplace else?”

  Officer Hanks sighs. “That’s just moving the dirt around on the floor, Cassidy. It doesn’t change anything.”

  “Well, what is putting them in a holding pen? My mom is an accountant. She says that when you have a big problem you have to start with the bottom line and work up. You’re spending millions to house and feed these horses, right? Like millions and millions. The more you gather, the more you have to feed and take care of. What if you stopped putting horses in holding facilities so much and moved them places that ranchers don’t want? I mean, even if you have to build water holes and tell the oil and gas people to share the road, aren’t you still money ahead? The Red Desert is ten thousand acres, right? Then every mare you catch you inject with birth control while you ask the federal government to get longer-lasting stuff, instead of just talk about it. I mean, I know the ranchers and oilers need to be protected, too. But treating the horses badly doesn’t help. You can’t even kill mustangs to save money. You start euthanizing thousands of horses, and you’ll get sued so much it will cost you bazillions.”

  Coulter is rolling his eyes at me.

  In a deeply patronizing voice Officer Hanks says, “I love that you know all those things, Cassidy. But it isn’t that simple. The mustangs destroy the range area. They mess up water holes. They cause big problems. Gathering is the best solution we have right now.”

  “Officer Hanks, I know this is a complicated problem. But I think some problems are like stampeding horses. You have to make yourself big and run at them. You have to use what you have in a bigger way. And you need people who care enough to find a solution. Because they’re from here. And they want to make things work.”

  Miles grimaces. “Justin’s going to detention, Cassidy.”

  “What good does that do? Then you have to feed him, too. Come on, Officer Hanks. You’re not a bad guy. Kaya wouldn’t have secretly gone out with you if you were.” Officer Hanks’s face yanks to one side when I say this. I’m not the only one who doesn’t like being gossiped about. “You and Justin can help each other. You’ve seen him. He can bring horses in with a whistle. He can help you do things more safely, and you save money. He doesn’t end up in jail. Everyone is better off. And maybe Kaya won’t be as angry at you as she probably is right now.”

  Officer Hanks goes popsicle red. “He damaged my holding facilities.”

  “What if Coulter offers to pay for the damages as a goodwill gesture?”

  “What?” asks Coulter. “I can barely afford to buy the drink I’m going to need after this conversation. I’ve got a preacher threatening to sue me for not killing his daughter, or at least her boyfriend.” Coulter looks like the week is catching up with him.

  Officer Hanks isn’t looking at Coulter. He’s looking at me. He’s thinking, too.

  Time to act bigger than I am. “If you drop the charges against Justin, I’ll give you all the money I got from selling Goliath to fix things, and if that’s not enough, Coulter will pay you, too. Right? It’s not a bribe. It’s compensation.”

  “No way,” says Officer Hanks. “Justin broke the law.”

  I say, “You said you want peace. Maybe peace looks different than you think.”

  Officer Hanks scratches his head. He folds his arms. “I don’t know what the answer is, Cassidy. Nobody does. Or they would have done it. But you can’t just start doing whatever comes to mind, making up your own rules. I’m doing the best I can, and it’s still a train wreck on fire.”

  I sit up a little taller in my chair. “So try something different. Sometimes you have to fail to figure stuff out.”

  Officer Hanks shakes his head. But he doesn’t say no.

  Coulter gets up from his chiar. He looks at me and then looks at Officer Hanks. “I know, Miles. I hate children, too.”

  Chapter Fifty-Seven

  IT’S TWO IN the morning. I’m awake, but Goliath’s gone. The upper pasture is as empty as Justin’s cabin. Not even the mice are moving around in our tent. I grab my boots from under my bed, tip them upside down, and slip them on. The moon is still out there.

  I walk past the ranch house. Kaya’s truck is parked out front. My stomach flip-flops. The lights are all out. I could sneak in, just to see if he’s there. I stand and look at the dark windows, breathing heavier. I turn around and keep on walking. Since when do I just break into people’s houses at night? This summer, I guess.

  I’m nearly to the turnoff up the hill when I hear rustling behind me. It’s not cold, but he has a coat on. And a small duffel bag hanging on his good shoulder. He walks unevenly, heavy on one side. My heart is pounding too hard for blood to get to the thinking part of my brain. I run. But when I get closer I see by the way he’s glaring that he isn’t glad to see me. I stop and stand stupidly in front of him, not sure what’s happening.

  “Hanks let you come back?” I ask breathlessly.

  “Yep.” His voice is cowboy flat. He puts his duffel down in the dirt.

  “And he’s going to drop the charges?”

  “You fixed the whole thing. Tied it up in a little bow. Hanks wants me to work with him and help him kidnap horses. Then I really will be my old man.”

  My words come out in a flood. “Not if you don’t want to be. I thought you could help him find a better way. Maybe a much better way. Everybody has to give a little, Justin. I didn’t fix anything. I have no idea how to fix anything. Some stuff just stays broken. But I just . . . want you to be okay.”

  He looks away.

  We wait a few seconds like that. Finally I say, “Where are you going to go?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll find something.”

  “Come on, Justin. You’ve already found something. Coulter cares about you. You belong here, at least for now. Stick it out.”

  Justin throws his head back. “Coulter doesn’t care. At least, he doesn’t want me around. He told that social worker I need to see a full-on psychiatrist. What good am I to him if he thinks I’m crazy?”

  “Saying you need help doesn’t mean you’re crazy, Justin. And it sure doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you or you aren’t any good to anyone. Stay. Figure it out.”

  “So I can be happy? Is that what’s going to happen to me?”

  “I don’t know what’s going to happen to you.”

  Justin speaks like a punch. “Don’t you get it? Look at you. Your face is all torn up because of me. I screw things up. I screw people up.”

  I hold my hand up to his face. He flinches, but he doesn’t stop me. I go slow. My finger traces the curve where his nose is bent out wrong. I feel a shiver go through the both of us. Then I trace down to his swollen lips and brush across his chin. He breathes out hard and pushes my hand away.

  I stand still.

  Justin picks up his duffel and walks down the trail. He goes through the gate and drops over the hill. I stand alone in the middle of the road. Just me, the moon, the mountains, and the end of the line. Like in the dream with my grandfather. I stand there waiting. And just like in my dream, Justin doesn’t come back.

  I find a big rock and sit down. The jagged edges of the stone dig into my skin. Everything hurts. Inside and out. The cracks around my mouth. The dirty cuts in my fingers. A coyote’s
howl one valley over. The creak of the trees. The empty space where Justin was standing. The whole summer cuts through me, slicing away what I thought would keep me safe. My parents being together. Justin. Goliath. Who I used to be. All gone.

  The dry grass rustles in the breeze coming through the gulch. The cicadas whine. I’ve read where people say how great it is to be connected to life. Well, it turns out if you’re connected, you can feel the awful stuff, too, the pain woven into the fabric of every living thing. And the more it matters, the more it hurts.

  Eventually I will get back up off this rock and walk back to the tent. That’s what Justin and this whole gut-punching summer have given to me. I’m resilient.

  But not right now.

  Chapter Fifty-Eight

  I’M STILL SITTING on the rock when I see a dull shape moving on the road. The sky has lightened, so I make out that it is a person walking awkwardly. The closer he gets, the faster he goes, and the more my heart speeds up. When he is close enough I hear his boots scrape the gravel in the road. I don’t move. When he gets right up to me I slide off the rock, but I don’t reach out or say anything. This has to be his idea.

  He throws his bag on the ground and breathes heavily. The skin around his hairline is damp with sweat. He holds his arms out. I wonder if he’s going to tackle me to the ground or pass out.

  “Since the minute I met you you’ve been driving me crazy. Messing me all up. Making me do stuff. The minute I met you. You ran right at me. You scared the hell out of my horse.”

  His face is full of anger and pain. I stay quiet. He’s not mad at me. Well, mostly not mad at me.

  “You bust into my life, and then you try to make me think I can have something else and be something else, and so now what I had before isn’t good enough, and I can’t go back to being like I was, living like that. I can’t do it.”