Sass
Page 8
She’s serious. The question, the quiet devastation this might be over, is there in her eyes. “I’ll think about it and get back to you.”
“That’s all I can ask.” She turns the doorknob and smiles sadly at me as she walks out of my office.
I can’t help but think my future just walked out the door, and damn if I don’t know what to do about it.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Reed
I’m surprised at what Sass has suggested. I never expected those words to come out of her mouth, never expected her to be the one to have second thoughts or call this off. It’s affected me in a way I wasn’t prepared for. At the same time, I think I’m also shocked at the way the words have affected me. I thought when it was time for us to break up it would be something I’d be able to do easily. I’d be able to go on with my life and it not hurt, but fuck if hearing those words come from her mouth didn’t hurt. It’s a truth I’ve not been prepared for.
I’ve been happy with her, I realize. She’s brought a happiness to my life I haven’t had since the early days of my relationship with Lacey. Looking back on it now, I realize Lacey and I were toxic for one another. Not in the beginning, but definitely towards the end. I can see instances of where I should have known she was cheating on me, but I chose to ignore it. I chose to believe no matter what, we were together and we were happy. Little did I know I had been ignoring my own happiness. The weeks have taught me sometimes we settle. I’m not settling again, and I’m not ignoring this situation or letting Sass call the shots here. I’m not that kind of a man anymore.
Taking a deep breath, I park my truck in Justin’s driveway. I called him earlier and told him I needed to talk, but I didn’t tell him what about. I’m telling my best friend I’ve slept with his little sister and now she wants me out of her life. That’s never easy.
“Hey, man,” he yells from his front porch, beer in hand.
He’s holding another one up towards me in greeting. I gratefully accept it and twist the top off with my bare hand. I’m going to need the alcohol to be honest, so I quickly take a long drink, relishing the coolness as it flows down my throat.
“What’s going on?” he asks.
He’s known me long enough to know I don’t do heart-to-heart very often, and if I’ve asked to talk to him, it’s serious. “Can we go out back?”
His backyard is incredible, almost like a rain forest, and instead of a pool, it’s got a koi pond. I find Justin is more relaxed when he’s out there, and I want him to be—relaxed as fuck. I don’t want to fight my best friend tonight.
His eyebrows rise as he looks at me, question in his eyes. “Sure, if that’s what you wanna do.”
*
“Not that I’m not happy to see you in a capacity that’s not work related, and I’m happy we aren’t beating the shit out of each other, but you’re startin’ to scare me, dude,” Justin says as he glances at me.
We’ve been sitting on his deck for fifteen minutes, and I haven’t said anything yet. Not because I don’t have words to speak, but because I’m nervous as fuck. I clear my throat. “Just getting my thoughts together.”
He turns to face me, handing me another beer because I’m done with the first one. His eyebrows rise, and I know, all of a sudden, he knows. “Does this have anything to do with Sass?”
I want to tell him no, but I’ve never been a liar, even when it would make things easier. “It does.”
He sets his beer down. “Okay, I’m gonna do my best to remember you’re my best friend in this world. I’m going to do my best to remember you’ve been there for me when other people weren’t. You were there when my dad died, and you’ve always been there for her too. The other day, though, I knew something was going on. She was upset the other day, and I asked her if it had to do with you—she wouldn’t say. My advice to you is be fucking honest with me. I need you to be honest with me. We’ve both gotten our licks in, and I don’t want to have to hit you again.”
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do—to be honest with him in a way that makes me vulnerable. We’ve been best friends for years, but normally we do this shit together. One of us doesn’t normally have to confess to the other. I figure it’s like anything else—rip it off quick and deal with the consequences later.
My voice is low but determined. I won’t be sorry we did this, I’ll be sorry I’m going to disappoint my friend. “She and I slept together.”
“Goddammit, Reed.” My confession seems to unleash an anger in Justin I’ve seen before but never been on the receiving end of. “I trusted you, dude, trusted you with her. I assumed you wouldn’t be the asshole who would break her heart. What the ever-loving fuck?”
“It just happened.” The excuse sounds pitiful even to my own ears, like a fucking cop-out. It was so much more than “just happening”, and I know, but I can’t tell him. He doesn’t see her like I do.
The look he gives me makes me want to bury myself under a mound of dirt. His eyes flash angrily at me, and I would do anything not to be the person putting this look on his face.
“Don’t,” he spits out. “Don’t think I’m a fucking idiot. I know you. That sort of shit doesn’t just happen with you.” He shakes his head and lowers his voice. “Do you even care about her?” retail for dpgroup
Killing time, I take another drink from my beer and tilt my head back, looking up at the sky. “That’s the bitch of this whole situation, I do. I want it to turn into something real, and damn if I know Sass wants it too, but she’s scared. She wants to stage a break up.”
“She’s had a crush on you for years, Reed. Surely you knew. Hell, I know you knew.”
“I did and I didn’t.” I shake my head. “I could see it sometimes, but there were other times I talked myself out of it. I told myself she looked at me like another brother, so I can understand why she’s hesitant, but I know there was heat between us when we were together. You can’t fake or manipulate that level of intensity or passion. That shit was real; I’m talking burn in my soul and tell our grandchildren about it in fifty years.”
Justin breathes deeply through his nose and levels me with a stare. “Look, I can’t say I’m not pissed about how some of this has worked out, but you’re my best friend and she’s my sister. I want the best for both of you, and if that’s each other, then so be it. What I can tell you is when Sass has something in her head; you’re fucked trying to convince her to change that idea.”
I laugh because I know he’s right. Stubborn is not even the word to describe Cassandra Straight when she gets an idea in her head. “You’ve got that shit right.”
He lifts his beer up in salute, a wry smile on his face. “My thoughts and prayers are with you, my brother.”
Good, I know I’m going to need them.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Sass
I cross my legs under the desk and wince at the soreness between my thighs. I don’t know what kind of voodoo magic Reed put on me when we slept together—or rather, fucked like bunnies—but days later I’m still feeling it. I hadn’t thought it’d been that long, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe he was bigger than I thought he was. Either way, there’s never been a man who’s done it for me. Truthfully, I like sex, but with the men I’ve been with, I’ve rarely been truly satisfied. I have a sneaky suspicion that’s one more thing Reed Shamrock has ruined for me.
If there was any way in this world I thought the two of us could be together without imploding, I would jump at the chance, but the fact of the matter is, it scares the shit out of me. Literally scares me.
So many questions come to mind, and they invade my thoughts at every hour of the day. What if we don’t work out? What if we do work out? What does this mean for his friendship with Justin? Who will he spend holidays with? What does it mean for me and my own heart? It’s a shitty situation to be in.
Reed hardly ever talks about his lack of family; that’s why he’s so close to us. If we don’t work out, I don’t want to remove the only family
he’s truly known from his life. That would kill me—if the broken heart didn’t kill me first. It’s not like he doesn’t have family, but his parents were workaholics who never should have had a child. They believed in doing for themselves, and since he didn’t go to college after high school, it was up to him to make his own way. The only thing Reed loved was carpentry, so RS Construction was born.
Too bad his success didn’t help his relationship with his parents, and to this day, they still don’t really talk. There’s just no communication or feeling there. I don’t want to be the next person in his life he doesn’t communicate with.
“C’mon, Justin.” I sigh. Waiting on him has become a huge part of my job. He runs later and later every day, and I know at some point we’re going to have to have a talk about him respecting my time boundaries. That will be oh so pleasant.
I glance up at the clock and realize he’s probably at least an hour out. I’ve done all the invoices for the day, scheduled appointments for the next day; frankly I have nothing else to do that’s pressing. Booting up the computer, I log onto Facebook and decide to look around.
Reed and I are Facebook friends, so I click on his name and go in search of his pictures. For some reason, I’m nosey and want to snoop his old pics. There’s a part of me that needs to see if he still has pics of him and Lacey up. Trust me, I know this is a stupid idea. It doesn’t have a good ending, but I’m a glutton for punishment, and I want to compare the way he looks at her to the way he looks at me.
And there they are. I can’t help clicking on one of them. He’s looking at her like she’s the most amazing person in the world. God, what I wouldn’t give for him to look at me like that. I realize, even as I’m thinking all of this, I’m hoping for something I’m not allowing to happen. I’m the one putting a stop to these feelings developing, I’m the one who doesn’t want to give them the time to grow, yet I’m blaming it on Reed.
As I’m surfing and snooping, a message bubble pops up, and I see Lacey’s name. She’s sent me a PM; she hasn’t done that in a long time. Curiosity gets the best of me, and I click on it.
“Hey girl, I hope you and Reed are doing well. I saw your car there overnight a few days ago. Just letting you know not to get too comfortable in my kitchen or my old house. I can have it back whenever I want it. Reed is putty in my hands, and all you are right now is a distraction from what he lost. Keep that in mind, sweets. xoxo”
That straight up pisses me off in ways I can’t even begin to explain. How dare this bitch? For one thing, I’m super competitive; for another, she gave him up, not the other way around. For a third, how could you see Reed’s cock and want someone else’s? None of it makes sense to me.
Fury building in my gut, I have my hands poised on the keyboard, ready to respond to her, to really lay into her as only I know I can, when the door to the office opens and the man she’s talking about appears. He looks sheepish and like he’s had a rough couple of days. There are dark circles under his eyes, his hair is unkept, as if he’s been running his hands through it, and his beard is at least a few days old. It’s desperately in need of a trim. For the longest time we don’t talk, but I can’t seem to make my mouth move. What if he’s here to tell me my idea of ending this is a good one? The fear of him telling me that is what makes me want to fight for it.
I have been such a damn idiot—scared of everything with this man—and it’s going to come back and bite me in the ass.
“Hey,” he finally says, the corner of his mouth lifting up in the cutest smile I’ve ever seen. It melts my heart and makes my pulse race in a way I can’t even describe. My heart flutters like it used to when I’d catch a glimpse of him sitting in our living room watching TV with Justin and Taylor. It was the forbidden, and now it kind of feels the exact same way again.
I can’t help but smile back. “Hey.”
He shifts his weight on his legs and sticks his hands in his pockets. “You mind if we talk?” He’s the one holding out a peace offering; he’s swallowed his pride and come to me. It’s something I hadn’t thought he would do, but if he’s willing to extend the olive branch, then I’m grabbing hold of it and not letting go.
I might regret this with everything I am, but I answer anyway. I need to know the answers, I need us to talk about this, and I need to stop living my life in fear. “Come on in and have a seat, I think it’s time we have a serious conversation.”
And I’m scared to death of how we’ll leave this room.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Reed
Sass puts on a good show; she always has. It doesn’t matter what it is she’s facing, she always does it in this stoic way she has. I think she’d rather die than let someone know they’ve hurt or disappointed her. For most everyone, they can’t see it, but me, I do, and I don’t want this sitting here between us. I don’t want the show either. I want the real Sass, the one who has feelings. The one I can touch, the one who’s hiding right there beneath the surface. This is me, for fuck’s sake, not some asshole off the street.
“What did you want to talk about?” she asks, moving stuff around on her desk so she doesn’t have to look at me.
I don’t know if she’s doing it for my benefit or hers, but she can’t seem to meet my eyes. That’s frightening to me and for the possible saving of our relationship. I need her to be honest with me, and I need to know how she’s feeling. The only way I can do it is if I’m looking at her. She can lie all she wants, but her face and eyes never lie. They are the window to everything that is Sass.
“Our agreement. The one where you agreed to help me piss Lacey off, it’s not exactly working for me anymore.” I figure those words will get her attention, and when her head snaps up, I know they’ve done exactly what I wanted them to.
She opens her mouth to speak, but I hold up my hand to shush her. “Not in the way you think. Hear me out, Sass. Give me a few minutes, and just listen. Don’t let your brain overthink what I’m saying. All I’m asking for is a chance to talk to you.”
“Okay, but I still think we should end this. You know my feelings.” She says it in this smart-ass, sassy way she’s had since she was a kid. I hate the tone of voice, and I hate the look on her face when she does it.
I’m pissed. I know the look on my face is fucking stormy. “I do know your feelings—the real ones, not the bullshit line you’re feeding me. The way your pussy gripped my cock when I was all up inside you?” I lean my head to the side and tilt my mouth in a smart ass grin. “You can’t fake that, baby doll.”
Her face flushes, and I know I’ve hit a nerve with her. Good, I want to hit a nerve; I want her to realize how bull-headed and stubborn she’s being.
“I don’t think we should end this. The other night…” I run my hand through my hair and shake my head because I can’t comprehend what we shared. It was intense. “Was so fucking amazing, I wasn’t prepared for it, Sass. I didn’t know the two of us together would be like that.” My voice is hoarse as I hit her with some realness I hadn’t been prepared to face myself, but if I’m going to convince her we belong together, I need to be honest with myself as well as her.
“I didn’t either,” she admits, biting her bottom lip, her eyes taking on a faraway look. Hopefully she’s remembering how good the sex was between us. The way I made her scream, she made me moan, and how it felt when I held her in my arms. It was right. “It was intense.”
“It was,” I agree, my heart soaring as I realize she might be seeing this the way I do. Maybe for once we’re both on the same damn page. “And I kind of want to see where it goes. When we started this, there was no way I’d want to put myself out there, ever again, but Sass, you make me laugh and smile. That’s something neither one of us can fake.”
I hope I’m breaking that barrier, hope I’m making sense to her. I’m pleading my case in a way that’s going to make her see there is a shot for this to work. I’m older than her; I know this shit doesn’t come along every day. I took it for granted before; I’m not
taking it for granted again. You’re given a shot at it more than once, and you grab it by the ass and you don’t let it go. The second time you fuck it into submission. “Let’s see where this can go.”
She shifts in her seat. “My only problem is Lacey.” Her lips are together in a firm line, and my heart sinks.
“She’s not even a part of my life anymore,” I argue, hoping she believes me. Lacey seems to be a non-negotiable topic for her, and I don’t want my ex-fiancée to cause any more problems between us. Taylor showed me exactly who the woman is I thought I was going to marry, and she’s not the type of person I want or need in my life.
Turning the computer screen towards me, she shows me the message Lacey sent a few seconds ago according to the timestamp.
“I don’t do well sharing, Reed. You know that.”
I do. I can remember once when she was a little kid, I grabbed a chicken nugget off her plate and ended up singing soprano for a couple of days after. “There’s no sharing,” I assure her. “I’m not taking her back.”
“You were going to marry her,” she reminds me. Her voice is pained, like those words are hard to push past her throat. I guess it does, since she’s harbored a crush on me for all these years. The same way it hurts me to think tomorrow she could be gone if I fuck this up.
“Until she ruined it all by lying to me. In no universe, alternate or otherwise, will I ever trust her again.”
I can see her mulling it around in her head, and I wonder if I’ve gotten to her. “What do you say, Sass? Wanna try this out for real and see what happens?”
I watch as a smile spreads across her face and she gives me a wink. “Why the hell not? I haven’t had any better offers.”
Throwing my head back, I laugh like I haven’t laughed in a long time. “Then let me tell you, this offer is on the table and it’s negotiable, but I really hope you’ll see things my way. Do you accept?”