Guard My Baby

by Rebecca Savage

  "Hold up, Chuck. Part of that's still very true. I have the kid, so there's no choice there, which means I also have no choice but to marry Lainie."

  "How romantic. I'm sure Lainie will be thrilled," Chuck murmured with a dry edge to his normally sedate voice.

  "It has nothing to do with romance," Cade swore, more to himself than to Chuck.

  "Are you saying it was just sex, then?" Chuck asked, his voice high-pitched and screechy.

  Cade hesitated at that. Just sex wasn't exactly the truth. "No, it wasn't just sex. It was phenomenal sex."

  Chuck hesitated, and then he chuckled. "Okay, but let's back up a damned minute. I'm a man, which means I'm not much for details and all that crap, but I need a little information here. My head's spinning. Exactly when and where did you meet Lainie Blanford and get her pregnant? Last summer wasn't exactly a time when... "

  Chuck broke off, and expectant silence ensued. Obviously Chuck remembered what had happened last summer, and what the event had meant to what was left of their still hurting family. Cade admitted wryly, "Yeah, now you're catching on. I met her last summer, in St. Louis, while I was getting drunker than a skunk after we buried our sister and niece."

  "I wondered where you disappeared to. You didn't spend much time with the family. We missed you." Chuck's accusation rocked Cade, but it irked him, too.

  "Damn it, Chuck. Do you think I need any more muck laid on the pile of heaped-up guilt I already have?" Nausea stirred inside Cade's churning gut.

  "You have no reason to feel guilty. We just needed to stick together last summer, that's all," Chuck pointed out evenly.

  "Yeah, well, I disagree about the guilt thing. I should've known, and Rachel should've told us what the hell was going on. She was being stalked, for God's sake." Cade's anger threatened to boil over and consume him.

  Vehement cursing sounded on Chuck's end. "Listen, Cade, being pissed off at Rachel for her own death will get you nowhere. I know. I've been there, done that, too. It's one of the phases of mourning." Chuck sounded rattled... as rattled as Cade. "What are you going to do now?"

  "Quit working for you and stay with Lainie. I can't have Lainie paying me to protect my own daughter. It's not as if I need the money," Cade said with marked irritation.

  "A daughter. Hard to picture you the father of a little baby girl. What did you name her?" Chuck sounded curious and interested now.

  Cade chuckled, all the heat gone, diffused from his blood and dissipated into thin air. "Get a load of this. Lainie named her before I even showed back up. We're calling her Eli, but her full name is Eloise Rachel Brianne Sheridan."

  Hesitation by Chuck, and then, "Married. I still can't get used to the idea of you married. Isn't that a little rash? You met her last summer, and you couldn't possibly have spent more than a few weeks with her. Why don't you step back and take a breather? You shouldn't jump the gun, and... "

  "She's had my baby, Chuck, and I won't leave her high and dry like all the low down slime that walked in and out of our lives, especially mom's life, leaving her pregnant and raising three kids on her own. I'll not have my child called a bastard." Cade spat the words into the receiver.

  "That's not a reason to get married, Cade, and it's not the same. Lainie's loaded. She has to be, or she couldn't afford our services," Chuck pointed out.

  "Yeah? Well, when I spent time with her last summer, she was a newly graduated, soon-to-be teacher complaining about how she'd pay off all the student loans she'd stacked up. So, where the hell did she get so much money?" Cade wondered, still fuming.

  "Good question. One that proves you don't know her well enough to marry her. She might've been lying about the whole college-teaching-loan thing." Hesitation. "She might even be lying about the baby being yours."

  "She's not lying about the baby. She was a virgin when we met."

  "Well, I assume you know that for sure, and you didn't take her word for it."

  Cade spoke slowly and evenly, ready to rant at his brother, wishing that he could hit him and make himself feel better. A brotherly battle would release all his pent-up frustration, tension and worry. "A man can tell if the woman he's with is a virgin, Chuck."

  "Well, maybe, but she's not one anymore, and you should have a paternity test done."

  "The hell with that, Chuck. This conversation is over."

  Cade punched the end button and stomped through the back yard some more. No way. No way was Lainie lying. No way did he need a test to know that. Eli was his, and he'd be responsible. He'd marry his child's mother, if for no other reason more noble than to prove he was better than the irresponsible reprobates his mother had dragged home with her. He couldn't replace the life his ex-wife had so callously taken, but he could care for what he and Lainie had created together. He could also try to make up for his sister's and niece's untimely deaths. He had yet to make good on his promise to find the killer, who was slinking around somewhere in this very city like a slug. Cade just needed to find the trail of slime and track him down. He tightened his fists and renewed his vow - two vows actually: to protect Eli and Lainie and find the killer of Brianne and Rachel.

  He couldn't change the past, but the guilt digging at his insides seldom left him. He'd watched some of those men beat his mother. He'd taken a few hits himself and watched his siblings do the same. A stepfather for his daughter was out of the question, and no damn stalker would hurt his baby. No damned way.

  Cade trudged back inside, prepared to have it out with Lainie - to tell her they needed to get married right away, and inform her that he'd no longer take her money as payment to protect his own flesh and blood.

  He found her in the bedroom. He drew up short at the tender scene in front of him. She lay on the bed, curled up in a ball, her body drowning in the loose cotton nightgown in which she'd chosen to lie down. Eli lay next to her. Both slept soundly, breathing evenly, looking sweet and innocent.

  He rubbed the ache in his chest and wished he had a whole heart left. If he did, this sight would make him fall head over heels in love with both his child and her mother. He knew better, though. His heart had been crushed, and then ripped out long ago by his mother's male relationships, his heartless ex-wife's betrayal, the twisted SOB that had slain his sister and niece, and the many, many people he'd killed as a mercenary. He'd killed for money. How great of a guy could he possibly be? How great could his genes be? He shivered. Would his meanness pass on to Eli?

  He shook his head and prayed Lainie's goodness would override his bad genetics. He had to trust Lainie that much, at least, and believe she was better than he and good enough to make up for his faults and give Eli a chance at being wonderful.

  Sighing, he strolled to the edge of the bed. He had to remember his chosen path. Little by little, he'd hardened his heart and given up on using it for anything except sending life's blood pumping through his veins, and sometimes other people's veins. He donated blood, often. It was the least he could do, after all the lives he'd snuffed out in the line of duty.

  But love? He didn't have it in him to get involved that deeply. Who needed it? Except for his brother and his mother, and now his daughter, an innocent in all this, he had no intention of loving anyone else, ever. At least, he had no intention of giving his heart to another adult female... one he couldn't trust fully... one who could chew it up and spit it out and never look back.

  Eli, though... she was another story indeed. He had no choice but to love her, fear for her, and ache to hold her, even now. He stared down at the infant. She slept so comfortably, on her belly, next to her beautiful mommy. He rocked back on his heels. Like it or not, these two got to him. Admit it or not, something inside his chest beat rapidly. He had a heart all right. It thumped against his ribs. He wished it wasn't broken beyond repair.

  The love coursed through the chambers of that organ, and he grew confused. His heart worked in one way. It loved Eli. He let his gaze slide over to Lainie. He stiffened, everywhere. Obviously his heart had pockets. Some pocket
s worked. He loved his family, even if his mom was screwed up. He loved his brother, his dead sister and his niece.

  He shoved his thumbs into his belt buckle. He despised his ex-wife. He couldn't risk loving another, and that was that.

  Cade strode from the room and headed for the living room. He'd wait to ask Lainie to marry him. His thoughts were too jumbled and turbulent to allow him to focus. If he asked her now, she'd feel the anger emanating from him. She'd kick him out of the damned house and hire someone else to care for their child. He had to find a way to ask her properly and convince her to accept his proposal, such as it'd be.

  He sucked in a breath and plopped down on the sofa. He'd not have someone else guarding his baby or his woman. Cade froze with the control in his hands, as the sound of the TV muted. His woman? Lainie wasn't his. Not yet. He scoffed at himself. She never would be, not in the true sense of the word, but she would be his wife, and he wouldn't share her. No damned way.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The next week was a whirlwind of day feedings, night feedings, diaper changings, and basically, survival of the fittest.

  Cade poured coffee and glanced at Lainie. She looked tired but very beautiful, but he didn't say it. Instead, he asked, "You all right? Did you get enough sleep last night?"

  She nodded, sighed, and dropped her forehead on her forearms. "Probably not, but I can beat this. We can do it, together. She won't win."

  Cade chuckled. "It's two against one. Surely we can survive against a little hurricane named Eli."

  "If we could just get her to sleep through the night." She glanced up at him through long, thick lashes. "I really appreciation everything you do, Cade. I don't know how single mothers do this. As it is, we're both sleeping in chunks, instead of straight periods of real rest time. It's sleep, but it's not good, restorative sleep. I hope her sleeping pattern improves soon, so we can both have a break."

  Cade grunted in response. Her thanks irritated him. He suspected that she thought if she said thanks often enough, she wouldn't owe him more than gratitude. She owed him nothing. He owed her, for having his child. He glanced at her over the rim of his coffee mug. Through the steam, he studied her. She kept her distance, which was fine with him, except somehow he had to ask her to marry him. How distant could they possibly remain then?

  Might as well broach another subject first. "Not to discuss female issues, but are you healing fine? You'd let me know if you needed a doctor, right?"

  She blushed, and he hoped he hadn't overstepped his bounds. "I'm okay. No problems. I'll call Trish if anything goes wrong."

  She averted her gaze and took a sip of coffee. The steam floated into the air and up through her nostrils. He sipped at his own strong, black brew and thanked the heavens for caffeine and good coffee, Lainie style. The woman could make coffee. Another reason to marry her. He couldn't marry someone who couldn't make a brilliant pot of java. "I know you'd probably prefer that I leave and allow you to handle things on your own."

  She dropped her lashes, eyed her creamed brew, and kept quiet. She hinted at him leaving, constantly, except when she ignored him and avoided him. She slept when he took his turn with Eli and hid out in her bedroom while Eli slept. She generally made herself scarce when he was inside the house, which was most of the time.

  Where else could he go? There was only the garage. He'd discovered a few tools there. Maybe he could get Chuck to bring him some things. He could get into woodworking. He'd done plenty of that in his youth, even a little of it since, in his spare time, lacking though his skill was. Other than watching TV, surfing the net, and caring for Eli, Cade spent his time checking the perimeter and never left the house otherwise. Might as well get Lainie used to his presence. He was sticking around. Period.

  Lainie needed space. She needed to get Cade out of her house. This minute. She didn't need to have to feel the way she did when she looked at him, smelled him, or accidentally brushed up against him in the hallway, or even while she passed the salt or pepper or such, even if they did only share a few meals.

  She knew it would be difficult to make him leave. Lainie could tell that he was head over heels for Eli, and Eli obviously felt the same for him. Eli burrowed into him, lay sleeping on his shoulder when he held her close, and even stopped crying quicker for him than for her own mother. Lainie could tell that Eli felt comforted by Cade. Lainie sighed at the thought. It was probably his voice and his scent. They comforted Lainie, too.

  It was 6:30 am, and Eli had gone back to sleep. Lainie worked in the kitchen with her laptop computer, on the long distance education class in business administration she took just for the fun of it. She didn't need another degree, and she'd probably never use it, but she wanted to do something. Being rich could be boring, especially if she had to keep herself locked away with Eli, behind closed doors, in the safe haven of her home, hiding from some murderous maniac. So she'd decided to take classes online. At least, studying would keep her mind off Cade. Maybe.

  A couple of hours later, Lainie stretched her back, straightened from the computer, and rubbed her tired eyes. She turned around, and Cade stood there, watching her, leaning against the doorframe, his jeans unsnapped, no shirt. She stared at him, blinked, and let her gaze wander downward. A thin patch of dark hair dusted his sculpted chest, ended in a V pattern, and pointed straight to his groin area. What a sap she was to stare. What a glutton for punishment. Gulping in much-needed air, she turned away. She rose from her seat at the table and attempted to appear completely attentive to her daunting task of making iced tea.

  "Good morning to you, too," Cade grumbled when she didn't speak and hardly acknowledge his presence. His unexpected invasion into the room had somehow managed to consume all the air and stifle her breathing. Where had the oxygen gone? She hoped the heat in her face ebbed soon, so she could turn back around.

  Lainie found her voice and croaked, "Good morning."

  He came up beside her, and she used her peripheral vision to monitor his lithe movements. She didn't need sight to sense his closeness. She could feel him. Her pulse picked up, and her breath halted. She prayed that he wouldn't notice her silly reaction. He took two tall glasses down from the cupboard and dropped ice into them, but only a little. He knew she liked light ice, just as he knew how she took her coffee with cream only. She felt like a blithering idiot when she enjoyed the fact he remembered the little things.

  He handed her a glass, and his fingers brushed hers. The electric shock zapped her all the way to her curling toes. There must be static electricity in the dry air. Had to be. No other explanation. Really.

  Cade took his full glass, sat down across the table from her laptop, and stretched his legs out in front of him. He crossed his bare feet at the ankles, and Lainie came close to drooling like a love-sick - okay, lust-sick - puppy. Her heart pounded out a familiar rhythm. This was too much. He always lurked, too close. His presence filled the whole the room, the whole house, wherever he went. He simply had to go.

  She turned to tell him that, and she tripped over her own tongue. He looked at her as if he could eat her alive. The hungry gaze burned into her, and she choked on the words on the tip of her tongue. Her mouth went dry, and she licked her lips. She drew her brows together in concentration. Surely she was mistaken about the look he gave her. She'd just had a baby. She hadn't even started working out yet. She hadn't made the slightest attempt to try and get rid of the little pouch of a belly and the baby fat she'd gained with Eli.

  Heaven forbid, if he could see the inch-long stretch mark above the joint of her thighs. He'd probably be disgusted. He'd certainly keep the heated stare he gave her now to himself if he saw her blemished body. Gorgeous men like him didn't fall for new moms.

  Still, she couldn't deny that she recognized the look of pure stark desire in his eyes, or the fact that he looked her up and down and licked his lips as if he wanted to take a taste of her tingling skin. Maybe he just really liked the sweet tea she'd prepared. His gaze drifted to her heaving ch
est.

  Nope. It wasn't the tea. He licked his lips again, and her body heated up like a steam engine being fed by the shovel loads of coal. He stared the same way he had last summer, and she wanted to let him take that taste. She wanted to savor the way his hot moist tongue kissed her and made her moan. On the verge of heart failure, she squared her shoulders. "You're fired."

  So much for finesse. She'd meant to tell him in a much nicer way. Too bad. She didn't have time or patience for niceties. He had to go.

  He grinned.

  Oh, God. He looks so handsome when he smiles like that.

  Cade crossed his arms over his nice pecs in a combination of nonchalance and stubbornness. "I don't think so. I quit. Last week. The day we came home with Eli. I called my brother, Chuck. I told him I quit. You can't fire me, Lainie. You haven't even been paying me."

  She stared at him, dumbfounded.

  "What?" What had Chuck done with the money she'd advanced him? What did it matter? There were more important issues to deal with here. Like the fact that Cade had lied and moved in as if he owned the place. She closed her jaw-dropped mouth and straightened her spine. "You have to go."

  He stood and moved towards her, invading her space, looking like a predator, stalking, prowling, and ready to pounce on his unwitting prey. She backed up against the sink, wanting to escape his nearness. She put her hands out in front of her. Breathless, she warned him, "Stop. Don't come near me, Cade."

  His grin widened with all the mischief of a cat chasing a bird, an infinitely more dangerous glint surfacing in his amazing eyes. "Why not, Lainie?"

  He stepped closer, his shimmering black orbs shooting darts into her burning skin, his aura alarming her. She smelled his fresh, musky scent, and her nostrils flared, wanting more of his delicious odor to sink into her lungs. What the hell did he wear for cologne? It was enticing... addictive.