SHIPS CompanionSHIP, FriendSHIP, RelationSHIP

by K'Anne Meinel

  “Hi” her voice is raspy and not very loud.

  Craig gets up and leans over his mother giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Hi Mom, you had us scared there for awhile.” He smiles into her face. She returns the smile. He backs off so that Adam and Bryan can say hello as well. Wiping a tear surreptitiously. Grace sits in her chair just watching it all.

  Joan finally struggles to sit up. Her hair and the position of the bed prevent it though. Grace puts in her hand the controls to the bed and Joan raises up to a sitting position.

  “It’s good to see you all” she rasps. Her glance encompasses her three boys and Grace, lingering there.

  Laughing a little at her they all agree it is good to see her too. Grace asks her what she remembers. The last thing she does remember is painting in her studio before waking up here. This doesn’t help them solve the mystery of how she got here. She is puzzled as to why she is there and Grace explains. Alarmed Joan can only stare. Realizing how much she has concerned everyone she gets angry. She tries to get out of bed, wanting to go home. The boys convince her to stay until she is stronger at least. They physically keep her there until she agrees.

  The doctor comes in and seeing his patient alert and talking he orders them all to leave so he can examine her.

  Her eyes are shooting daggers at him, Joan rasps to him in no uncertain terms what she thinks about his dictates. She goes on to point out that her sons have traveled thousands of miles to be by her bedside and how dare he order them out of her room. She is getting herself upset and he orders the nurse for a tranquilizer. The boys try to calm her down insisting that they need to catch up on their sleep and they were going to go anyway. Grace has been trying to placate her since she started. Joan finally stops her tirade and agrees to stay calm if the arrogant S.O.B. would please leave the room. The doctor is miffed but complies.

  Grace laughed at her in amazement. Joan is so feisty towards the doctor. Amazing woman. In a coma one minute, fighting with the man who may have saved her life the next. Shaking her head she is just so very happy to see Joan awake. HER exhaustion begins to catch up with her. Sitting in the chair holding Joans hand she begins to sob. Alarmed Joan reaches for her to take her in her arms. She nearly falls from the bed but Grace sits on the edge and they just hold each other. Joan begins to rock her back and forth, rubbing her back and shushing her. It’s so comforting to them both. Grace finally gets a hold of her emotions and sits back in the chair still holding Joan’s hand. She tells Joan about the horrible last 6 days. From finding her unconscious to the cops ransacking the apartment to the boys fighting about her care.

  She doesn’t leave the hospital until very late and only after Joan has gone back to sleep. They’ve bent the rules about visiting hours because of her status as a physician but even then she didn’t want them to get angry at her taking advantage of the situation. Arriving back at the apartment she presses the button and parks her car in the garage. Turning off the engine she sits there listening to the garage door closing. Suddenly the overwhelming relief hits her and she begins to sob. She is crying there for a long time when Craig opens the door to the Jaguar and pulls her out of the car. Holding her in his arms he asks alarmed if something happened to his mother? She reassures him and understanding how tortured she has been he just holds her close. This perky brilliant doctor who seems so self assured loves his mother. It’s so apparent. Adam still can’t accept it but he at least will not say anything and tolerate it. Craig wants his mother to be happy. Grace is so wonderful to her. He’s watched her bathe his mother’s face and arms, rearrange her braids so they aren’t falling over her face, talk to her as though she was awake. Whatever they have it’s special. He almost envies them. He loves Jane but he wasn’t sure if it was in this way. After awhile Grace calms down and sniffs loudly. Apologizing to him for saturating his shirt with her tears he brushes that off and asks if she is going to be okay now? Nodding she reaches back into the car for her purse and they walk into the hallway and up the stairs, arm in arm with her leaning on him for support. They enter the apartment that way as well. Both Adam and Bryan are sitting there and turn in alarm at the tear streaked face of Grace. Grace walks quietly into the bedroom and shuts the door. They look expectantly at Craig.

  “It’s okay. Grace just needs some sleep. It’s been rough on everyone these past few days.” He shrugs and sits down to channel surf.

  Adam and Bryan exchange a look and watch the channels flickering by. After awhile the guys start talking about their mother quietly discussing her future care. No agreement is reached.

  The next afternoon they are again discussing their mom’s care outside her room. Two want to move her to Wisconsin to watch her there, one objects. They don’t realize how loud they’ve become until they hear their mother yell from her room “I’m not deaf or dead yet!” Sheepishly they file into her room, hanging their heads. All adults they yet toe the line where their mother is concerned.

  Grace has been sitting next to the bed talking with Joan. They had both stopped talking abruptly as the boys voices had gotten louder. Grace had been astonished when Joan yelled out to them.

  “What’s wrong with you boys? I’m getting better. There is no need to be discussing me as though I can’t make competent decisions.” Her tone is a bit miffed. She has taken care of these boys for the last 20 plus years. They don’t take care of her! Finding herself weak and in the hospital has it’s disadvantages.

  Craig steps forward “Mom, maybe we should head back home now that your better?”

  Watching him she answers “Maybe you better. I had hoped to visit with you three longer but you’ve put your lives on hold for these past few days and it might be better if you do go.” She wasn’t happy about it.

  The boys each take time to spend with their mother before they go. Grace goes back to work. People are treating her as though SHE has had an illness. A few are given enough information that they know that Dr. Monroe’s ‘partner’ is on the path to recovery.

  The last day the boys are in town they leave the Mercedes in the garage and take a cab to the medical center. Leaving their bags on the floor by her door they each talk with her a final time before they must leave. Craig is the last to hug and kiss her. Adam and Bryan are standing, waiting by the door.

  “You going to be okay now Mom?” He hands her her keys to the apartment and the Mercedes.

  “Yes, I’m too ornery to give up now.” She smiles. Putting up her hand she puts an errant lock of his hair back on his head. Her handsome boy is such a man. “My car is still in one piece isn’t it?”

  Assuring her it is fine he asks “are you happy?” His eyes bore into hers. No one has dared discuss her living arrangements with her but this is as close as they will get. Adam and Bryan are listening, intently.

  “Yes, she makes me very happy. She takes care of me, I take care of her. Thank you for asking” she had been going to say thank you for accepting but thought that would be like asking their permission to have her relationship with Grace.

  Kissing her one more time he turns to go. “Hey you guys, don’t be such strangers. You have to visit more often.”

  They salute her and pick up their bags smiling at her as they go. Alone once again she sits there and thinks. Shaking her head at the events of the past two weeks. Most of which she can’t remember. Grace had suggested hypnosis but the thought of it made Joan uncomfortable and it was decided that they would see if time could heal her.

  Joan waited hours for a nurse, a doctor, or even Grace whom she knew was back at work, to visit. No one came. Getting bored she pulled the sheets back and climbed out of bed. All the bedtime has made her lightheaded and weak on her feet. A nurse finally comes in later to find Joan dressing herself and she tries to stop her. Finally she rushes to find the doctor. He too tries to talk her out of it. They try to take her clothes away from her but at this point all they can get are her socks and shoes. She’s managed to get her underwear, jeans, and blouse on. The socks and shoes had defeate
d her since she had to bend down which caused a head rush. The nurse pages Grace frantically. When she calls they tell her what is going on and she rushes from her hospital. Joan lays back down dressed except for her shoes and socks to rest. This poisoning or whatever has really taken a lot from her. Her stamina just isn’t there. Dozing a good hour goes by. She finally gets up the energy to make another try when Grace rushes in.

  “What are you doing?” She asked alarmed. She went to push Joan back against the bed. Weak, Joan can’t really resist and it annoys her no end.

  “Look, I can’t do anything laying in this bed and I want to go.” Tired, frustrated, she pushes weakly against Graces restraint.

  “No, no you need to stay here and rest. What if you have a relapse? What if there is something else causing all this? You need to STAY here.” Concern is etched all over Graces face. She is pleading with Joan to make some sense of it all to her.

  “Grace, I’m going stark starring mad sitting here.” Smiling lamely she adds “try saying that three times fast.”

  “Fine, but you need to be looked after. Your not 100 percent. You need to stay in the hospital for a few more days.”

  “No, they don’t know I’m even here. I’m better. I feel better. I want to go HOME!” She’s getting angry now and it brought some energy to her.

  The doctor walked in at that point and she turned on him. “You better get the paperwork for me to sign out or I’m just going to walk out of here. Remove this damn cord from my arm” she indicates the IV “I’m leaving and no one here is going to stop me.” She stands up and Grace takes a step back. Joan stands there weaving trying not to collapse back onto the bed.

  The doctor sighs and turns to the nurse who has followed him in. “Take out her IV get the paperwork for AMA” He turns to leave but Graces voice stops him.

  “DOCTOR! How can you just let her go?” She is alarmed and frowning at him. Anger shown plainly on her beautiful face. Her brows lowered and her eyes flashing.

  Shrugging he says “I can’t keep her here against her will. I could send her to a rehab home,” he sees Joan stiffen at that “but I don’t think that wise. She’ll have to come back for a wellness check in say a week?” Joan nods at this as the nurse removes the needle from her arm, taping the spot with a bandage. He turns and leaves the room.

  The nurse comes back in a few minutes with the necessary paperwork for Joan to sign. Grace has tried reasoning with her to no avail. Her doctor patient voice in full tune. Joan ignores all her reasons and then turns to her and says simply “I want to go HOME.” The nurse returns her shoes and socks and Joan attempts to put them on herself. Leaning over she almost falls from the bed. Exasperated at Joan’s stubbornness Grace takes the first sock from her and helps put it on. She does the other and then helps with the shoes. Taking Joan’s arm she helps her to the wheelchair the nurse has brought and wheels her out to the Jaguar. Joan unsteadily gets in the front seat. Laying back she sighs. Grace buckles her in and goes around to the drivers side and gets in. Joan is exhausted. Grace never says another word about what just happened and drives them home. It takes forever to get Joan up the stairs and into the apartment. Beyond exhaustion she collapses on the bed and is instantly asleep. Grace checks on her several times while she takes care of other things, letting her sleep.

  In the past two weeks Grace hasn’t had time to check the mail and quite a pile has built up. All the bills she places in one pile, ads she looks through quickly and tosses on the recycling pile. A few other odds and ends she goes through and sorts. There are a few letters for Joan she puts aside. Then she tackles the bills. It takes her until after midnight before she is through. All the bills are paid, all the envelopes are stamped and ready to go out the next day. The desk is clean. She makes herself a cup of cocoa the old fashioned way, she microwaves it. She goes into check on Joan again, watching her sleep. She is still worried about her.

  Grace has to go back to work the next day but she calls Joan three times a day to check up on her. After a week of this they both begin to relax. Joan has a good appetite, her energy levels have almost come back completely, her mind is active and she certainly has her spark back. She’s restless. After lying around reading everything in sight she decides to take a walk or maybe a jog on the beach, not too far but just to get out of the apartment. She’s got cabin fever. Never one to sit still for too long she changes into jogging clothes and gets her sneakers and goes. Grabbing her keys she slips them into her jogging pouch.

  Grace gets home at 5:45. The past few weeks had gotten her behind but she feels she is at least over the hump and caught up on everything. With a happy step she enters the apartment. “Joan?” She calls. No answer. Alarmed she checks the bed which is unmade, not unusual as Joan hardly ever makes the bed, she checks the bathroom, the studio, the other bathroom. No Joan. Going back to the bedroom she sees that Joan has changed her clothes, leaving what she was wearing on the bench. Alarmed she doesn’t know where Joan is. Just then she hears the key in the door and rushes to the kitchen as Joan comes in all out of breath and dripping sweat. Alarmed Grace asks her if she is okay. Smiling Joan tells her about her jog on the beach. How refreshing, how free it felt.

  Immediately angry Grace tells her “you should take better care of yourself. Don’t you know that people worry about you?” Her relief that Joan is okay has her behaving a little irrationally.

  Surprised at Graces vehemence Joan lashes back. “I didn’t ask to get sick. I’m sorry I worried all of you. I didn’t think though that everyone would be molly-coddling me forever.”

  They end up having a rip roaring fight. Both air all their grievances. Grace has been handling Joan with kid gloves. Joan has been deliberately pushing herself. They end up shouting at each other.

  Finally Joan stalks off to take a much needed shower. She washes her hair through the braids. She notices in the mirror that her braids need to be fixed and soon. All these weeks of being ill and staying in bed she hasn’t had a lot of time for herself. She unbraids a couple of the braids, brushes them, combs them, and rebraids them. There is over 40 braids on her head so she can’t do all of them tonight but she gets a few done. Even so she takes over an hour in the bathroom.

  Grace knocks on the door “are you okay?”

  Answering that she is, Joan pulls on her robe and grabs her dirty clothes and puts them in the hamper. Exiting the bathroom she finds that Grace has made dinner. They are still not speaking. Joan doesn’t sit down at the bar to eat but instead heads into the studio to putz, closing the door behind her. Hours later she comes out. She’s tired from her exertions of the day and heads for bed. Grace has cleaned up the kitchen, put away the leftovers, and has been sitting in front of the tv watching the news and a sitcom which she never even saw, so lost in thought she is. She hears Joan go to bed without a word but doesn’t join her. Joan wakes up about 2 AM to find herself alone in the bed. They have never gone to bed angry with each other and this is a new thing. Worried about her Joan finds Grace curled up on the couch with an afghan. She sits down on the coffee table and watches as Grace sleeps. Feeling Joan’s eyes on her Grace awakens. She hasn’t slept deeply anyway as she was disturbed by their fight. They watch each other warily for awhile before Joan leans over and kisses her. Joan trys to deepen the kiss as Grace responds, but Grace pulls away. Thinking that Grace is still mad about the fight, Joan tells her that she is sorry about before. She reaches out to hold Graces hand and pulls it up for a kiss. Grace watches her sadly.

  Joan is feeling bad. Her heart feels heavy in her chest. She had sounded petty and childish to her own ears. She desperately wants to make up. She begins to tell Grace about what she is feeling. To her supreme mortification Grace bursts into tears and holds her hands to her face. She quickly sits next to Grace and gathers her into an embrace. Holding her and kissing her she calms her. She is upset too. The last few weeks have left them both emotionally drained. After awhile Grace stops crying and just breathes. Trying to calm the little hiccup in h
er. Finally Grace looks up and tells Joan about how she is feeling. She opens up as she never has before. She pours out her love to Joan. Her fears over the past weeks, her fear that Joan will leave her. Deeply moved Joan kisses her and holds her close, assuring her that she loves her too. That she doesn’t plan on going anywhere. That she wants Grace with her always.

  Calming down Grace is a little embarrassed. The raw emotions have her in tatters. Joan finally leads her to their bed and begins to make love to her. They haven’t made love since before the ‘accident.’ Grace feels fairly numb but Joan is patient and persistant, inventive and loving. Her patience pays off and Grace responds. Desperately she pulls at Joan. Joan gets such a response out of Grace that it leaves them both gasping. Grace feels so wonderful. This beautiful woman that she loves has brought her to such a state. Joan has never worked so hard for them both, exhausted, both emotionally and phsycially she catches her breath. She doesn’t think of it as work though, she thinks of it as fulfillment for both of them. Finally they are able to cuddle up and sleep.

  ~ CHAPTER 17 ~

  Weeks have gone by. Joan finishes Jack’s commissions and digitizes them and delivers them. He’s heard of her illness and crass as it sounds tells her about how valuable it made her work. Shaking her head at his rudeness she collects the last of her money and bids him goodbye. She can’t believe how people assume with an artists death that their work is better or more valuable. Yes, that means there will be no further releases and the ones out there are limited in number but she has always produced consistently high levels of work. To imply they are more valuable from her death is wrong.

  She and Grace spend time going to dinner with friends. Among the friends they go out with are Joanne, Tracey, and Addie. Joanne is aware of Joan’s illness as she goes to lunch periodically with Grace but Tracey and Addie are all ears. Amazed at her close shave Joan jokes that someone tried to off her to make her paintings more valuable. Grace is hurt and angry at this joke and tells her so. Making a tense situation until Joan apologizes. She went on to explain what happened with Jack and wonders if perhaps others had thought the same.