Array: Byte shorts and other stories

by Cat Connor

  I hung my head.

  “Upstairs with you.” I knew better than to disobey Maddie. Da, when the mood struck me, but Maddie, never.

  I hurried up the kitchen stairs, the servant’s stairs, knowing I was forbidden to traipse through the main house in such a state. Mother may see me. My sisters may see me. Da may remember his anger. In my bedchamber, I stood still as Maddie undid the sodden laces on my gown. She busied herself setting the bath by the fire, and then began the arduous task of heating water and filling the bath. She hustled up and down the stairs fetching water until I was dizzy. Normally I would help, but not while in my under garments and not in the state I was in. Lavender flowers floated in the warm water, infusing calmness.

  “Get in and soak.” Maddie instructed once the bath was deep and warm.

  Maddie washed my hair, rinsing it in rosemary water. She whispered, “Is he well?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yes, Maddie, he’s well.” The cuffs. His cuffs. “He wears the lace cuffs I made.”

  Her hands stopped ringing water from my hair. “I told you he would.”

  We said nothing more on the subject. Maddie informed my father I had retired for the evening. His questions would wait until morning. My tears would not. She returned with chamomile tea.

  The soldiers had been and gone, nothing of interest held them.

  As I lay in my bed, under fresh warm sheets and blankets my thoughts were of William.

  Of our parting.

  Tears flowed in silence. Witnessed by one who knew pain, who cherished as I did, and now suffered alone.

  “Drink the tea Meaghan, and sleep.”

  I drank the tea. Honey imparted a soothing sweetness to the otherwise mediocre tasting herb.

  “Goodnight child.” Maddie whispered, she stoked the fire, snuffed the candles, and made her exit.

  My next memory slipped from a dream. I awoke to the smell of damp wool, and the crackling of the fire. Damp wool. From the fires glow I saw dark fabric draped over a stool in front of the hearth. Dark fabric.

  My heart pounded. I knew. I turned my head on my pillow. A hand covered my mouth. Familiar taste. He whispered, “Mo Mhuirnin. Be still, lest we wake the household.”

  I lifted his hand from my mouth and whispered back, “My love.” How he appeared in my bedchamber I didn’t know, nor care. A prayer answered. His arms holding me. We simply were.

  My head rested on his shoulder. His fingers brushed hair from my face. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to remember, to savor, to relish our precious stolen moments. Yet sleep I did. Safe in his arms. Rain lashed dreams circled. Storms, soldiers, Da.

  Before dawn broke, my love was gone. His cloak and clothing dry. He left as he arrived, in silence, under cover of dark. I lay alone. Yet felt his arms still. I committed to memory every second we spent together. Every muscle that held me. Every breath taken. Every word whispered.

  Hollowness settled over me. I recognized it. Already I missed his heart.

  Da knocked on my door before breakfast.

  I knew it was him. His knock was heaviest.

  “Meaghan?”

  I checked the room, nothing out of place, no man’s cloak, or any other suggestion that someone had visited. I was up and dressed. I sat on the stool in front of the fire.

  “Come in Da.”

  He peeked around the door before entering. Once inside he shut the door firmly.

  “I will hear your explanation of last night’s escapade.”

  I took a deep breath, I expected this moment, and yet was unprepared. I rose from the stool and met his steely gaze head on. A lie or the truth? His eyes melted into my mind. He could already see the truth.

  “This is William’s doing!” He shook his head slowly, “Meaghan! He’s not right for you.”

  “I love him.”

  “You’re a child, what do you know of love?”

  Defiance prickled. I know my own mind. “I know that William is for me. And I him.”

  He fought to keep his voice steady. “A priest!”

  “A man!”

  “He abandoned his faith.”

  “No, he embraced it, for isn’t faith about love?” I stood straight and defiant. “Unconditional love.”

  Da took both my hands in his, “Meaghan this road you’ve chosen is difficult.”

  I attempted a subject change, “Wasn’t it also difficult for you and Mamai?”

  “Yes.” His exasperation showed, “Lord preserve me child, I wasn’t a Priest! This path is littered with danger.”

  “William, will not allow anything to harm me.”

  Da grumbled, “He’ll not allow you to live like you have either, girl, where would you make your home? How will you eat?”

  His hands squeezed mine.

  “He loves me, and I him. Everything will work out.”

  “In your heart of hearts, do you believe that strongly in William?”

  “Yes, Da.”

  “You’d give up everything for a de-frocked Priest turned highwayman?”

  Without hesitation I replied, “I’d give my life for his.”

  “Is there nothing I can say?”

  “You can remember how it felt when you met Mamai.” I watched his face, worry creased his brow, and tears filled his eyes. What have I done?

  “I want so much for you.”

  “Everything I want is in William.”

  “We will speak on this further. I need to consider your answers.”

  “Yes, Da.”

  “Gideon seems recovered. I’ll thank you to ask my leave before taking my Hunter in future.”

  I lowered my eyes, “Yes, Da.”

  He spun on his heels and left. I shivered as cold dread crawled in my stomach.

  Now I had to face Maddie. Da would speak to her first. Their synchronized attack would have several prongs. Maddie made for a formidable opponent, far more so than Mamai.

  I smiled at the flames in the fireplace. No one would tell her. This wasn’t fit conversation for Mamai’s ears. I walked to the dressing table, and took the hairbrush vigorously to my hair.

  What if I told Mamai?

  Surely, she would understand. I weighed the consequences heavily. I heard Ana bounding up the hallway. She rapped on the door, didn’t wait for my acknowledgement, and flung the door open.

  “Maddie says you’re to come now or go without breakfast.”

  “I’m coming, Ana.”

  Ana stood watching as I tied my hair with a velvet ribbon. Snagging it firmly at the nape of my neck. “I dreamed I heard a horse last night,” she said quietly.

  “A horse?” I asked with a smile. She couldn’t possibly have seen William.

  “It was dark and a horse rode away from the house.”

  “What a strange dream.”

  “I thought I was awake.” She sounded sad somehow.

  “Oh, Ana, I have dreams like that all the time.”

  Ana threw herself at me, her arms wrapped around my waist. “Don’t leave us, Meaghan.”

  “One day I shall, I will marry and have my own home and you can come and visit.”

  She pushed away and looked up at me. Her quiet voice rang with hollow truth, “You’ve no suitors. Don’t you need one before you can marry?”

  I was lost. I couldn’t tell Ana of my love for William. She was a child. This is adult business.

  “One day Ana, I will.”

  “A suitor like our sister Caoimhe?”

  I smiled and shook my head, “No, Ana, I shan’t marry for anything less than love.”

  “Whom do you love?”

  Her childish innocence tugged my heart. Whom do I love? William, with every breath in my body.

  “I love you, silly goose.”

  Ana considered my reply and suddenly with a cheeky grin she said, “You loved William but he went away.”

  She took me by surprise. Am I that obvious? Can a child see my heart? Children see everything. I am the
silly one for not realizing.

  I chose to remain silent on the topic of William.

  Ana was right. I was leaving. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how close that day had become.

  It was time to plan my departure. After breakfast, I would ride out and leave a message in the old Abby ruins for William.

  “Come along to breakfast before we are tardy.”

  After breakfast, I escaped back to my chamber before Maddie could single me out. I sat at my writing desk and composed a letter to my William. I was ready to go, for all that meant and for all the heartache, my decision would bring my family.

  I would stay two more nights, to make sure he received my message. After nightfall, once every one was in bed, I would take my leave.

  Dearest William,

  I wish with my heart of hearts that you were there when I awoke this morn. It seems too much to ask that we be together for longer than a few precious hours.

  For all I know this to be a painful existence I would not change it, for I’d rather have stolen moments in your heart than nothing at all.

  My greatest joy is to know you live.

  It is my wish that we find a resolution for this troubling phase of our lives.

  You must leave before Monsignor Murphy and his soldiers find you. Something is disturbing Da, more so than usual. I fear the Monsignor is behind Da’s worrisome disposition. I know from Maddie, Da does not trust the man. Caoimhe has kept her distance. She is preoccupied now with her own nuptials. At least we shall be safe from her meddling for now.

  I wish our inner most thoughts were not sealed by wax. If only I might feel your arms for a moment longer. If only, time slowed sufficiently during our moments together, permitting us to converse of the world and our place in it. Yet time marches onward leaving us breathless and torn with no peace.

  My heart goes with you. My soul is yours.

  Until we find our way to each other, I remain and will always be, your beloved,

  Meaghan

  The End

  (First Love, Beanpods Press, 2013)

  2. I’ll Be Waiting.

  I stared at the laptop screen in front of me, waiting. Felt as if I spent a lot of time waiting. It was worth it. Every time, it was worth it.

  “I guess it all comes down to one choice, really. Either get busy living or get busy dying,” I said to myself as I watched the screen for signs of life. I knew what I wanted. How to get it was another story. I chose living but I wasn’t entirely sure that’s what I was doing.

  The screen flickered.

  My heart skipped a beat. I rose from my chair and closed the office door. Open door policy? Yes, usually, but not today. No interruptions.

  The screen flickered again.

  My breath caught in my throat.

  Once more.

  In the bottom right hand corner of the screen, I saw the orange Skype alert. Frankie was online.

  Breathe.

  I clicked the alert. A window opened.

  She was typing already. Hi, having a good day?

  A smile settled. I am now.

  She typed again. Vid?

  I felt myself nod as I replied with a capitalized yes.

  Seconds later, we were staring at each other, smiling. She looked good. Happy. The way she moved in her chair amused me. Energized.

  “How long have we got?” Frankie asked.

  I could hear music playing in the background. Adele. Nice.

  “I don’t know. What was it last time?”

  She grinned, twisted in her chair, and then looked right at me. “Two hours?”

  I glanced at the clock on my screen and then at my day planner. I hadn’t scheduled any meetings until much later in the day. I never did these days. They were very early in the morning or in the afternoon. Two hours. If we were lucky. Sometimes we only got twenty minutes before the connection faltered, crumbled, and disappeared. I hated those days.

  “Alex?”

  “Yep,” I looked at the screen in time to see a small frown crease her forehead. “You okay?”

  “Uh huh. Missed you,” I replied with a smile. “I’m good.”

  “I missed you too.”

  She smiled.

  I could sit and watch her all day. Some days I almost did. Some days I left Skype on and carried on working. She carried on as well. There was something comforting about looking at the small square on the screen and seeing her concentrating on work, unaware, until she’d look up and smile. It was one of those days that I realized the connection over Skype wasn’t enough anymore. I knew it. She knew it. We had to find a way through the time barrier.

  “What are you thinking about?” she asked. Her head tilted to the side.

  “Touching you,” I replied.

  Her laughter echoed from the speakers and bounced over my desk. “I’d like that.”

  My eyebrows rose. “That’s encouraging.”

  “What’s the date, Alex?”

  “October 15, 2013.”

  “It’s October 15, 2014.”

  “It’s only a year,” I whispered at the screen. “There must be a way of closing the gap.”

  “Be careful what you wish for,” Frankie replied. “This is life with no regrets.”

  “Frankie, this life without life. However we happened no longer matters. It’s you and me. We need to try.”

  “In a perfect world Alex …”

  I saw it then. Sadness. It crept into her dark brown eyes. I wanted to catch it before it spilled over.

  “Frankie, it can be a perfect world. It can be our world. You and me.”

  “This is our world,” she replied, her smile softened the sadness in her eyes. “This is our world. There is no guarantee we can find a way out.”

  “What are you saying?” My turn to frown.

  “Don’t look like that Alex. I’m just saying, we should be happy with what we have, because this maybe all we get. And I’d sooner have this …” Her hand waved across the screen. “Than nothing.”

  She had a point. I leaned back in my chair, stretched, and relaxed.

  “Okay. But I want to try.”

  She laughed. “So do I. So long as we both know, it might not work.”

  If there’s a God.

  “Hey, Frankie? What happens before we connect, at your end?”

  She spun in her chair and picked something up off the desk. A remote?

  “Two things. I’ve not figured out if they actually do anything more than give me something to focus on.”

  “Tell me.”

  “A few months ago you emailed me a photo of you, remember?”

  Yep, I did. A photo of myself at work. She laughed when she saw it. I wore a pink shirt. Confident enough in my masculinity that I can do pink, thank you.

  “And?”

  “I open the photo so it’s on my screen and turn my iPod on.”

  “Any particular song?”

  She nodded. “Adele, I’ll Be Waiting.”

  “Can it be any other song?”

  She shook her head.

  “What do you do?” Frankie asked.

  Good question.

  What did I do? I worked. I could hear the radio from the plant floor.

  What triggered the feeling that she was close?

  “I don’t think I do anything. I can sense when you are near.”

  “Let’s try something … we might lose the connection, we might break it completely, or it might work.” She leaned forward. Her eyes gleamed. “Do you have your iPod?”

  “Yes, in my bag.”

  “Do you have a picture of me?” she asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Are we going to try this?”

  “Yes.” I could see her smile and her eyes sparkling somewhere behind the screen was a real person. “This is going to work … I can feel it.”

  “We have to disconnect, Alex. Check the time. I feel like we have to do this at the same time. So three minutes from now, start the song?”

  I nodded.
Her hand filled the screen. I lay mine over it. Maybe one day I’d feel her hand in mine.

  “I’ll see you soon,” I said.

  “See you soon,” Frankie replied.

  The screen went black. She was gone. Everything was gone. Several seconds passed before my usual desktop view returned.

  Breathe.

  From my bag, I took the iPod. I found Adele 21 and the song. With the iPod on my desk and keeping an eye on the time. I found the photo Frankie emailed me a few months back in my email inbox. She was at her desk. For the first time I noticed the background. I mean I really saw it.

  When I turned around, I realized what I was seeing. She was at my desk. In a years’ time, it would be her desk. How had I never noticed that before?

  I was leaving, I knew that, she knew that but it wasn’t common knowledge. The decision was made just last week. The changes hadn’t yet been announced. Frankie knew. No wonder she wasn’t surprised when I told her I was taking on a more challenging role within the company. She knew because she lived it already. From the beginning, she was so familiar, as if we’d known each other our whole lives.

  How could that be when she lived a year into the future? A thought occurred. Maybe I hire her to replace me here. Now that would be weird. Maybe that’s how this happened?

  I checked the time. The picture was ready. I hit play and the song started.

  Holding my breath, I watched the screen. Unsure. If this opened a portal, would it be the screen?

  Music filled the air. The image on the screen pixelated. The orange Skype alert popped up. Instead of a name, it said, Yippy ki-yay, motherfucker. Open the door.

  Laughter spilled from my lips as I exhaled. That was definitely a message from Frankie.

  I reached the closed door in three strides.

  My hand shook as I touched the door handle. It moved without any pressure from me. The door opened, Frankie smiled as she took a step toward me.

  “Hi,” she said. “Check your wall planner.”

  “Hi,” I replied trying to calm the babbling in my head and the shaking in my hands. “Why the wall planner?”

  She put her hands on my shoulders and encouraged me to turn around. I looked from Frankie to the wall planner by my desk. In bold red writing on today’s date were the words ‘Frankie Coffee 11a.m.’