Burn Our Houses Down [Book One]

by Kelsey Garmendia

  “Hey sweetheart,” my mom says from the doorway. I tilt my head up and smile. “You hungry at all?”

  I shake my head even though my stomach is growling in protest. “Do you want some tea? I have some chamomile downstairs, I think.”

  “I’m still really tired, Mom,” I mumble into my comforter.

  “Ok,” she whispers and closes the door. I listen and hear Xavier downstairs in the kitchen. I try to move my knee but a shooting pain travels straight up my leg.

  Whatever, I’ll just lay here. I wouldn’t even be able to look Xavier in the face anyway if I could walk downstairs. I lay on my back and stare at the ceiling. The pale blue paint looks grey in the lighting from outside.

  Cassie and I used to have glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling in here when we were kids. We would try and set them up like the constellations in the real night sky, but all we ever managed to do was Orion. We’d stay up for hours looking at that one sole constellation, talking about anything. Most of the time, it was Cassie who spoke, and I listened.

  One time she asked me if I ever thought I would get married. We were sixteen, our birthday was the next day.

  “I think if the situation presented itself then, maybe,” I answered. She laughed at me.

  “That’s so you, Hayles,” she said. “You probably will marry your best friend.” The next day, Xavier asked her out. I guess the rest is history as they say.

  A soft knock on the door forces my eyes open again. I didn’t realize I fell asleep.

  “Hayles?” Shit. I look over the covers to see Xavier closing the door with his back towards me. I close my eyes again hoping he’ll just leave. “Hayles,” he says into my ear.

  I jump at the sound of his voice so close to me.

  “Woah, didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “What do you want,” I say burying my head under the covers again.

  “I wanted to check your knee and bring you breakfast,” he answers. I turn my head towards him and see worry wrinkles spreading across his forehead.

  “Feels fine,” I mumble and then turn away. “And I’m not really that hungry.”

  “Do you want some company then?” Xavier says moving to the other side of the bed. “You’ve been up here for almost 12 hours.”

  I nod my head, hoping that he’ll curl up under the covers like he did last night. But no, no he doesn’t. Instead he grabs a chair from my computer desk and sits by my head.

  “So what’s been going through your mind,” he asks.

  Mostly what you said to me last night, then some Cassie, which then reverts back to you anyway. “A lot,” I mumble into the sheets.

  “Yeah, like what?”

  “Mostly yesterday,” I answer. “All of yesterday.” He nods his head and then starts eating off from the plate of breakfast he brought for me. “I thought that was my breakfast?”

  “Well, someone’s not hungry,” he laughs. “Right?”

  I look over at the plate and see a pile of bacon and what looks to be a seven egg omelet. “I’ll have some of the omelet,” I say.

  Xavier smiles. “A rebel until the world ends.”

  “I never liked bacon even when I used to eat meat,” I comment shoveling the omelet into my mouth. I can tell immediately that my mom cooked it when I chew down—almost a pound of cheese on top of spinach and mushrooms.

  Xavier takes another couple strips of bacon and chomps them down. “Want to go for a ride with me today?” I glance at him and frown.

  “I was thinking we could drive to Middletown and see if it’s the same there,” he continues. “If what your dad says is true, then we need to look for more food.”

  Images of the dead deer on our dining room table flash into my head. “Yeah, sure,” I say. “But I want to shower.”

  Xavier nods his head. I push my feet out of bed and onto the floor. “You probably shouldn’t stand for that long,” he says flashing a look at my knee. “Maybe take a bath?”

  “Thanks Mom, but I think I’ll be ok,” I say. I try to stand, but my bad knee gives out immediately, and I collapse into Xavier’s arms.

  “Like I said.”

  I glare at him and push myself to a standing position and then limp my way to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and let it run until it’s scalding. I’m taking a shower—damn it. I crutch my way into the shower by using the wall and the sink as leverage. Ha! I can take a shower standing up.

  I put pressure down on my bad knee and it gives out. Somehow, both of my feet slip out from underneath me, and I land hard on my back on the bathtub’s surface. I try to pull myself up but I can’t get enough push off of anything. So instead I reach for the shampoo and start washing my hair from the bathtub. It still counts as a shower if the water’s coming from the shower head.

  9:28A.M.

  Somehow I manage to get myself out of the shower and hobble my way to my bedroom. I start looking for my bag when I realize that I don’t have a change of clothes. I swing open the closet doors hoping that I will find something of mine, even if its from high school, but when the door opens, my stomach drops. Hanger after hanger is filled with Cassie’s clothes. I look around the room for my dirty clothes, but my mother must have taken them downstairs.

  Shit.

  A package of underwear and a bra with a tag is on the bed thank god. I comb through the hangers looking for something that we both would’ve worn, or at least something that wouldn’t look like hers. I finally find a pair of jeans and a shirt that I feel confident that Cassie hadn’t worn in forever. I pull them out and change into them quickly.

  There’s something really strange about wearing a dead girl’s clothes. Even stranger when that dead girl is your sister—twin sister to top it all off. My mom and dad won’t know the difference, but I know Xavier is going to notice.

  I feel sick to my stomach when I start brushing my hair. I don’t want to make him feel any more pain than he already does. I mean, that was the reason he didn’t stay in the room through the night, right? He was in his dead fiance’s house in bed with her twin sister—isn’t that a sin in some culture somewhere?

  I let my hair fall down to my shoulders and look at myself in the mirror. A soft knock at the door grabs my attention.

  “Sweetheart, it’s Mom. Can I come in,” she asks through the door.

  “Yeah.”

  She opens the door and looks around the corner. “Your stuff is going in the dryer now,” she comments. “I didn’t think you had any clothes in here, but it looks like you did.”

  I nod my head and limp to the door. “Xavier and I are going to go for a ride to Middletown,” I say once I get out of the bedroom.

  “Oh, all right,” she says. “I’ll heat some of the pasta from last night for you when you’re on your way back.”

  “Thanks,” I say.

  Getting down the stairs is a little harder than I originally thought it would be. I try using the walls on either side first as a crutch, but then I resort to sitting and sliding down the stairs with my mom laughing the entire time.

  “I remember when all three of you used to do that in snow pants,” my mom says. “You, Cassie and Xavier had more fun on these stairs than you did in the actual snow!” I laugh trying to picture myself now in snow pants which actually would make this task a lot easier. It’s quiet throughout the house when I reach the last step.

  “Where’s Xavier?” I ask.

  “Oh, he went to take a nap. He said he didn’t sleep that well last night and wanted to catch up on his sleep while you were showering.”

  “Oh, ok,” I answer.

  “You know, Hayles, he loves you very much,” my mom whispers. I shoot her a look—did Xavier say that to her? Did he really love me? But if he did, why did he leave last night? If he loved me the way I loved him, he would’ve stayed. “Your father sometimes doesn’t realize what he’s saying or doing. More as of late, but he loves you very much.”

  Oh, my mom mea
nt my dad. Of course she did. Why would she be talking about Xavier like he loved me? Better yet, why would Xavier tell her that he was in love with me? That makes absolutely no sense.

  “Yeah,” I manage to say.

  “We know you’re hurting because of Cassie. We all are,” my mom’s voice cracks on Cassie’s name. She clears her throat and puts an arm around my shoulder. “But we would never substitute you for her or her for you. And we especially don’t blame you for what happened. It’s called a car accident for a reason.”

  I can feel heat rising to my face. I don’t want to cry, not today. “Thanks Mom,” I whisper.

  She kisses my forehead and squeezes my shoulders. “Let me go get Xavier and why don’t you wait here. He’ll be able to help you more than I can,” my mom says.

  She disappears around the corner, and I finally let the breath I was holding escape my lungs. I really am pathetic with this knee. I can barely even say I took a shower on my own; I feel like a kid again.

  “Ready to go,” Xavier’s voice says. I look between the handle bars and can see the look of shock on his face. He already knows that I’m wearing Cassie’s clothes. “H-h–how, uh,” he clears his throat. “How did you—manage to get down the stairs?”

  “Sat and slid,” I answer. Thank god he didn’t say anything about the clothes. I wouldn’t have known how to answer if he had.

  He laughs and puts my arm over his shoulders. “Well, I’ve got an easier way to get you moving,” he says. In an instant everything is back to normal; tiptoeing around each other hoping the other one doesn’t fall.

  Momentum

  The drive to Scotchtown puts my adrenaline into overdrive. Xavier decides it’s best to off-road the trip where the road is either too crowded or too sketchy to drive on. I clutch the door handle until my knuckles are throbbing.

  “You know, we could’ve just taken back roads!” I yell.

  Xavier laughs and floors it sending us flying over a hill. “You’re gonna pop a tire!” I scream.

  He swerves back on the road and drives at a normal speed. “You’re no fun,” he mutters.

  I really don’t give a shit, Xavier. We sit in silence as I wait for my heartbeat to return to normal. “So where are we gonna go first,” I ask.

  He shrugs his shoulders. “I figured we would just do some drive-bys and then make our way back home if we don’t see anything,” he says. He glances at the gauges. “And get gas sometime during that.”

  I nod my head and look out the window. We drive past Circleville and finally make it onto Goshen Turnpike. The good thing about this road, is that it’s a direct route to Xavier’s apartment if we need to stop somewhere. The bad thing: this road can take you straight to the government building in Goshen.

  A handful of cars are pulled onto the side of the road while some are parked in the middle of the lane. It seems that someone is hell bent on preventing us from making it to Middletown.

  “I guess people ran to the courthouse or something,” Xavier mutters. “I don’t know why. They wouldn’t be able to help anyone.”

  I watch the cars go by, some still left with their engines running. It looks like something chased them away. Maybe the reason the road is so backed up is because—there isn’t anyone else to help them.

  The back window of the car shatters. “Jesus!” Xavier yells. “Get down!”

  I scrunch down in the seat and pull my head forward to my knees. I can hear gunshots coming from random spots on the side of the road. “Xavier!” He cuts to the right, the tires squealing in protest, and heads down another road. I can hear the engine click into a higher gear, and the gun shots slowly dissipate. I feel nauseous once Xavier tells me I can sit up.

  “What the hell is going on here,” he asks.

  I don’t think he’s asking it to me. “I don’t think we should go into Middletown,” I say. “Obviously it’s been taken over or the police are gone.”

  He nods his head and turns down another road. “We’re not going to be able to make it to my house,” he says. “It’s too far down Goshen Turnpike.”

  I nod my head. “I don’t understand what’s going on,” I say.

  My thoughts are rushing through my head like mouthwash. “I don’t either,” Xavier says. “The police have got to be gone. It explains all the traffic to the court house—”

  “Or that was them back there—the shooters,” I whisper. The thought sends a chill down my spine. “Can we go home?” I ask.

  “Hayley, we haven’t even looked for food—”

  “What if the same thing is going on in Pine Bush?” I say. I can feel panic squeezing my throat shut. “My dad is out there. We have to tell him.”

  Xavier sighs and then nods his head. I flip on the radio hoping to hear anything, but it’s just static. I turn it off and slump back in my seat counting the trees that fly by my window.

  “Wanna talk or something?” Xavier asks.

  “About?” His hand pushes down on my knee but it still bounces underneath it.

  “You seem kinda on edge—”

  “Yeah, well. Given the circumstances, I think I’m allowed to be a little freaked.”

  “I meant before then too,” he says. His hand hasn’t moved from my knee, and I’m so painfully aware of it, it makes my face hot. “You’ve been dodging most of anything I said all morning,”

  his voice sounds flat; he does that when he’s upset.

  “Xavier, I’ve just been really overwhelmed with everything,” I say looking up at him. “It was the first time I’ve been home since Cassie died, the first time I’ve seen you and my parents. And with everything happening right now, I haven’t had two seconds to accept anything that’s going through my head.”

  Xavier nods his head and moves his hand off my knee. A little part of me sinks, but I turn my head away so he can’t read my face.

  “Let’s just go and see my dad,” I say after a while. “I want to make sure he’s safe.”

  Protect and Serve: 12:00P.M.

  When we reach the police station, I feel my heartbeat return to normal. The fifteen squad cars that line the back entrance are parked neatly in their spaces. Xavier helps me to the door and up to the front desk.

  “Woah,” says the cop behind the window. “Is it really Hayley Henderson? You’re back in Pine Bush for real!”

  I laugh and nod my head. “Hey um—Andy? Andrew— something with an ‘A’ right?”

  “Anders,” he says laughing. “I guess it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, huh?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, your dad’s in his office. Go ahead, I’ll buzz you in.” Xavier and I walk towards the door.

  “Do you want me to come?” he asks.

  “No, it’s ok,” I respond. “It’ll just be a minute.” I limp to the door and knock.

  “Come in,” my dad’s voice grunts. I open the door and limp to the closest chair. My dad’s back is toward the door and he’s staring out the window that faces the fields behind the police station. “Who is it,” he mumbles.

  “It’s me, Dad,” I say. He turns and smiles as if it’s the first time he’s seen me.

  “Look what the cat dragged in! How you doin’ kiddo?” he says. “Sit down. What brings you to the station?”

  I swallow and wince once I actually do sit down. “I wanted to make sure you were ok.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Well, Xavier and I ran into some trouble over near Circleville and we wanted to make sure you were ok and whatnot.”

  “Of course I am, Cass.”

  My eyes dart up at him. He just keeps smiling. “Who did you just call me?”

  “I called you by your name, sweetheart,” he says.

  “You called me Cass,” I say.

  He stares at me as if I have two heads. “Well, who else would I call you?”

  “I’m Hayley, Dad.” The smile disappears from his face. He clenches the pencil in his
hand so tightly that it snaps in half. “Dad—”

  “Get out of my office,” he growls.

  “Wha—”

  “Get out!” He knocks off everything from his desk and stands.

  “Oh my god,” I whisper. The lower part of his shirt is covered in blood. He grips his desk and flips it on its side. “Dad, who’s blood is on you?” my voice is coming out so high-pitched I feel like my voice box might explode. I can’t tell if it’s because of leftover adrenaline or if it’s because of the blood all over my father—I guess the two go hand-in-hand.

  “Get out, you murderer!” he yells.

  My jaw drops open and tears blur my vision. His face goes pale, and he covers his mouth with his hand.

  “Hayles,” he starts. He reaches out towards me, but I shuffle away from him. “Hayles, I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry.”

  “No,” I yell. His hand grazes my arm, and I fling myself backwards. My knee gives out as I crumble to the ground. “Get away from me! Don’t touch me!”

  I’m screaming now, my voice coming out in intervals I didn’t know existed.

  “Hayley!” I hear from the other side of the door. I try to push myself to my feet, but I’m shaking so badly that I can’t get off the floor. “Xavier!”

  Xavier bursts through the door and grabs me by the shoulders.

  “Hayles, sweetheart!” my dad calls from his hands and knees. “Please, I didn’t mean it.” My feet leave the ground and Xavier runs me through the hallway. “If you leave, don’t you ever think you’ll have a home to come back to!” my dad yells from his office.

  I watch him get smaller as Xavier runs past the security check point and into the parking lot. “Hey,” Anders calls out, but the door slams behind us.

  Xavier puts me in the front seat of the car and runs around to the driver’s side. A gunshot goes off and hits the police car next to him.

  “Get in the car, Xavier,” I scream. I look behind us and see my dad aiming to take another shot. Anders tackles him from behind and tries pinning him to the ground.