Beautifully Tainted

by A. M. Guilliams

  Me: I’m at the doctor’s office.

  Nathan: U better b. Text me when u r finished and let me know the verdict.

  Me: What r we n court now? LOL! Will do.

  Nathan: Just remember I am here for u, Em. No matter what.

  Being the smart ass I was I replied U better b and shut off my phone.

  I signed in and waited to be called. My palms wouldn’t stop sweating and my heart rate was constantly climbing because of the anxiety of the situation at hand. Mattie had asked me to get checked a couple of times before our argument because he was worried about me. The only problem was he had no clue what the reality of the situation was. He didn’t know what I thought was wrong with me. Our relationship was over for now and he wouldn’t have guessed this. Not in a million years.

  Shortly after arriving, I was called back and my anxiety level got increasingly higher. Even though I was comfortable with Mattie touching me, I wasn’t quite comfortable with anyone else doing so. I requested a female doctor, but the only available doctor was Dr. Vasquez. The receptionist assured me that he would make this as painless as possible, but I had no clue how that would occur. I didn’t know if I could handle this, but I kept assuring myself that this is the only way to confirm my assumptions.

  I was weighed, my blood pressure was checked, and then I was asked to give a urine sample. In a few short moments, all of my questions would be answered. Then the nurse said the one thing I was hoping to avoid.

  “Miss Jackson, there’s a robe on the table. I need you to completely undress and put it on. The doctor will be in with you shortly to perform your exam. The test results will be available shortly.”

  She seemed nice enough, but I couldn’t help but feel awkward about what was about to happen. I tried to rein in the thoughts of being examined the last time, but they were trying to creep their way in. Luckily there was a knock on the door that allowed them to be kept at bay.

  Dr. Vasquez made his way into the room. I was shocked at how young he looked. It made me almost want to laugh because by looking at him, he didn’t appear to be old enough to be a gynecologist. He approached the table and sat down in a chair in front of me.

  “Miss Jackson, how are you today? I’ve read through your chart and I’m aware of your past situation. I’m going to try to make this as painless as possible for you,” he stated.

  “I’m doing well. I’m a little nervous obviously. Have my test results came back?” I needed to know. I couldn’t wait for him to bring it up any longer.

  He looked up with me and began to speak. “Yes they have. It appears that you’re going to have a baby. Congratulations.”

  Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I knew in my gut that this was what was wrong. Even though my periods have always been sporadic, I’ve never missed one for three months in a row. The longest I’ve ever gone was two. Closing my eyes, I focused on breathing through my nose to calm myself. Suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder causing me to flinch a little and open them.

  He looked so concerned for me. I started to become more comfortable around him because I could always tell someone’s intentions. It was a gut feeling I always had.

  “I can tell that this is a shock to you. I take it this wasn’t planned?” He asked.

  “No, it wasn’t planned at all. I kind of knew in my gut, but I guess hearing the words just made it real.”

  “That can happen. It says here that you’ve missed three periods and that your periods have never been regular. Let’s do the exam and then we’ll need to perform a transvaginal ultrasound to determine how far along you are.”

  “Then let’s get the show on the road, doc,” I stated jokingly. I needed to make jokes right now to keep myself from completely falling apart and freaking out.

  It was over quickly and he kept his promise about making it completely painless. I was then led to another room where the ultrasound would be performed. I asked the doctor if he could be the one to perform it because I didn’t think I could handle yet another person seeing me naked. He agreed, but stated that an ultrasound technician would need to be present to ensure the right measurements were taken.

  Once I was settled on the table, the doctor began the ultrasound. At first I didn’t know what I was seeing. He then turned on the sound and I could instantly hear my child’s heartbeat. In that instant, I just knew that I’d do anything to protect this child. All of my fears dissipated and I instantly felt calmer. He pointed out my baby to me and showed me his or her arms, legs, and head. I was in love with this precious being already. He told me I was approximately thirteen weeks along. I did the calculations and low and behold I conceived this baby on my first time making love with Mattie. His concerns were legitimate. I assured him that missing my period was normal due to being irregular and he just shrugged it off. How was I going to explain this to him now? I had no clue. All I knew was that regardless of what he said, I was bringing this baby into the world.

  He handed me my pictures and I made my next appointment for four weeks later. For some strange reason, I felt lighter after hearing this news. It was the best feeling in the world. I was going to be a mom.

  The drive home went by quickly. When I pulled into the driveway and got out of the car, an eerie feeling came over me. The kind that you get when you feel like you’re being watched. I looked around, but didn’t see anything unusual. I hadn’t been paranoid in quite a while, so I just ignored it and went inside.

  I texted Mattie that I needed to see him and that it was important. I hadn’t spoken to him in almost a month. We were still avoiding each other. I just hoped he would respond.

  Instantly, I got a reply.

  Mattie: Are you okay? I should be there within the hour.

  Me: Of course, I’m fine silly. I’m texting you aren’t I? LOL

  I was trying to play it off because I was nervous as to how he was going to react. We were never careful so it really shouldn’t be a surprise. At that thought, my phone chimed again indicating that I had another message.

  Mattie: Oh, my beautiful girl has jokes. C U N A little while. Can’t wait to hear all about your appointment and what illness you have.

  His beautiful girl? I’m not going to read too much into that.

  Me: LOL!!!

  I only hoped that he responded the way I wanted him to when he found out that it wasn’t an illness and that it was our baby.

  I needed to text Nathan so he would stop harassing me about the appointment. I’ve received numerous texts mostly asking what the verdict was and some with just a bunch of question marks.

  Me: The verdict is…….

  Nathan: The suspense is killing me. Will u just tell me already?

  I decided that I would just take a picture of the ultrasound picture and send it to him. I wanted to see if he could figure out what the picture was of. The picture was sent with a smile on my face. I still couldn’t get over the fact that this little being was growing inside of me. I gently rubbed my stomach when my phone chimed again.

  Nathan: WTF is that? Is that what I think it is?

  Me: And what pray tell do u think it is?

  Nathan: Is that a picture of a baby?

  Me: Maybe

  Nathan: U r seriously enjoying this aren’t u….Answer the question woman

  Me: I am enjoying this and yes it is a picture of a baby. Looks like I’m going to be a mom. OMG!!

  Nathan: Congratulations babe. Are u ok with it? Have u told Matt yet?

  Me: I wasn’t okay with it at first but only bc I was scared. Now I’m happy about it. Seeing him or her on the screen made reality set in. I texted him and he said he would be here in an hour and that was 20 minutes ago.

  Me: G2G take a shower.

  Nathan: Tell me how it goes. Glad u r happy.

  Nathan: And don’t tell me things like that.

  About thirty minutes later, I had showered and put on some comfy clothes. I knew Mattie didn’t care what I looked like, but right now I just needed the comfort that they bro
ught me. I felt more relaxed in them. I made my way over to the door and unlocked it so he could just come on in.

  I was in the kitchen looking at the ultrasound picture when I heard him enter the apartment. I turned around smiling, but my smile instantly left once I saw who had entered the house.

  “Well, Well, Well. Hello Maci. Long time no see,” he stated.

  How the hell had he found me? Javier Araya was a member of the 18th Street Gang and the brother of the man who raped me. Shortly after the trial his brother was killed in prison.

  All I could do was stare at him. I couldn’t move. Every part of me wanted to run, but I knew that he wouldn’t let me get away. I needed to think of a plan without him catching on. He was staring at me with his soulless eyes and a smirk on his face. All I wanted to do was wipe it off his smug face. I decided to remain quiet until I couldn’t any longer.

  “Aren’t you going to greet me and welcome me in, chica? It’s been years since I’ve seen you. I’ve searched for you forever and you finally appeared. You should watch what someone videos. YouTube helped me find you. I must say though, that was some performance,” he spouted.

  “Hell no, you aren’t welcome here. Why would I welcome you in? And I could care less what you thought of my performance you bastard,” I yelled. So much for remaining quiet. I couldn’t do it. I needed him to know that I would fight for my life until my last breath.

  “It doesn’t matter if I’m welcome or not. I’m not leaving until you’re dead. My brother was killed because of you and you’re finally going to pay, chica,” he screamed back at me.

  He pulled the gun that was tucked in the back of his jeans, aimed it at me and cocked it. This was it. It was now or never. I had to make my move or he was going to kill me. When I slowly started making my way towards him, he grinned. He was assuming that I would just let him kill me. Well, he was about to be proven wrong.

  I made my way over to him and stood in front of the gun. “I guess this is it Javier. You are finally going to get your wish. I just have one thing to say,” I calmly stated.

  He looked at me smugly and said, “What’s that?”

  My nerves were kicking into overdrive. I had to make this count.

  “I’m not going down without a fight,” I whispered and then lunged for the gun.

  We fell to the ground spouting all kinds of obscenities at each other. I needed to get it away from him. I couldn’t let him shoot me. All I could think about was the baby growing inside of me. I needed to live to bring this child into the world.

  We were rolling around the kitchen still fighting over the gun. I prayed that Mattie would get here soon. I just needed to hang on a little longer until he arrived. I could do that.

  The gun remained between us and I was beginning to get a better grip on it. I just needed to turn it around so that it was off of me and pointed at him. He managed to get on top of me and I prayed that my one final attempt to pry the gun away worked. I moved my knee up between his legs hitting my target and we rolled back to our sides. I finally had the upper hand.

  The next thing I knew the gun went off and all I heard was…

  BANG!!!!

  ***

  Matt

  Today has been one of the longest days of my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about that performance between Nathan and Emily. I can’t believe he was trying to take what’s mine. I needed to snap out of it and come up with a plan of action. It needed to be good so that I could get my sweetheart back. She didn’t deserve anything less than the best and I needed to pull out all of the stops so that I could show her that I meant business.

  Mason and I had been working on putting a few cases together so that they would be ready for trial. When things fell apart because the defense pulled apart our evidence, I couldn’t stand it. Even though they weren’t major crimes, I put in my all when it came to ensuring that justice was served. We were on our way back to the station to call it a day when my phone indicated that I had a text message. As I glanced at the phone, I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was a text from Emily. I was almost too afraid to open it because I don’t think I could take it if she were telling me she wasn’t waiting any longer for me to come around. I finally found the nerve to open it and she was telling me that she needed to see me and it was important. My first thought was that something was wrong with her, but she said that it wasn’t anything major. Plus, she was joking with me about her being fine enough to text me. I can’t believe that I just called her my beautiful girl. I needed to keep it together because I didn’t need to push her, especially when she made it perfectly clear that we couldn’t be together until I could be completely honest with her. I was still trying to get over the fact that she had texted me. The only question I kept asking myself was what she would need to see me for. We hadn’t ended on the best of terms. Even though it was killing me to stay away, it was for the best. I had to be sure that I was ready to tell her what I was running from. If that made me a coward, then so be it.

  Mason and I were almost back to the station when a call came over the radio. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t hear what the call was for. Technically we were off duty now, so it’s not like we had to respond. Suddenly the car made a U-turn making my head slam into the window of the passenger door.

  “What the hell Mason?” I shouted, rubbing my head.

  “Did you not hear what that call was for?” He asked.

  “No, I was off in my own little world over here. What’s going on? Where’s the fire?”

  “That call was for shots fired man. The address was Emily’s house.”

  SHIT. My stomach was in my throat now. I thought I would have more time to get my shit together and make my way back to her. I was trying not to think of the worse possibly scenarios, but that was impossible. I kept thinking that the world without Emily was a world that I didn’t want to live in. NO! She’s fine. She’s not going to die on me. She’s going to pull through this. She may not even be the one that was shot. Think positive thoughts.

  “Can you go any fucking faster?”

  “I’m going as fast as I can without getting us killed. We’ll be there in two minutes, so calm the hell down.”

  I was trying to gain my composure. Remaining calm right now was important. This was just like any other case. At least that’s what I was telling myself so I wouldn’t break down. We pulled into the driveway and there were already officers and EMT’s on the scene. I flashed my badge and was making my way into the house when Jeremiah stopped me.

  “Move out of my way, Jer. I need to see her.”

  “I can’t let you go in there. They made me leave too. I was in the neighborhood when the call came through on my radio. Technically I’m not on duty. Plus, I have a close relationship with her, so when the EMT’s arrived they made me leave.”

  “Just tell me that she’s okay and I’ll wait out here.”

  “She was shot in her right side. I’m so fucking sorry. I put pressure on the wound until they arrived, but it doesn’t look good.”

  This can’t be happening. I felt my knees give out and he caught me before I hit the ground. The tears just started flowing out of my eyes. I fucked this up big time. Now I may never be able to tell her I love her again or hold her in my arms. I silently prayed that she would be okay and make it through this.

  I finally gained my composure to speak and pulled out of his hold.

  “Just tell me if she’s alive or not. Was she awake when you arrived? Did she say anything? She wanted me to come by tonight and said there was something that she had to tell me. Now I may never know what it was.”

  “She was alert and coherent, but she’d lost a lot of blood. She did say something and she handed me this. I haven’t looked at it or anything because it wasn’t my place. Just think positive thoughts. She’s strong. She’ll pull through this.”

  He handed me what looked like a picture. Why would she ask me over here to show me this? I looked down at it and tried to figure out what I was
looking at. That’s when it became clear. This was an ultrasound picture. Holy shit. It was of my baby. I couldn’t stop looking at it. Not only was Emily’s life on the line, but my baby’s was as well.

  Looking up, I noticed that the EMT’s were bringing her out of the house on a stretcher. She didn’t look like she was awake. Please don’t let her die. I made a vow to myself right then that I would do anything she asked me to from now on if only she lived.

  I broke out of Jeremiah’s grasp and ran up to Mason.

  “Who the fuck did this? Any leads?”

  “No one was on the scene when they arrived. The gun was gone as well. She’s the only key to who was here. She holds all of the answers.”

  “Well, figure it the fuck out and soon. Everyone leaves something behind. Find it,” I demanded.

  I marched away from him and made my way over to the ambulance. The EMT stopped me asking if I was family. He was not going to stop me from getting in there with her. I didn’t care what I had to do.

  “She has no family. Does being the mother of my unborn child count?” I gritted through my teeth.

  He looked wary, but let me get in the ambulance with her. She wasn’t moving. She was lifeless. Grabbing her hand, I brought it to my lips kissing it gently. I moved down near her ear and whispered “Emily, you have to pull through this. Be strong baby. We have a little one to bring into the world now.”

  I only hoped that she was strong enough to fight her way through this. The ambulance doors shut and I prayed that we weren’t too late. I couldn’t lose another person this way. She had to make it, she just had to.

  Stay Tuned for #2 in the Beautifully Series

  Coming September 2014

  Acknowledgements

  Fans, without you this wouldn’t be possible. Thank you for all of your kind words. They got me through the tough times and helped me realize that this is all worth it in the end.

  To my family, thanks for believing in me and making me never give up on my dream. Your strength is what helped me get through this process. Thanks for helping spread the word and all of the encouragement that you gave me. That alone let me know that I could do this and it would all be worth it.