by Jessica Cruz
“It was fun though,” Wes answered. “You guys can bring her over whenever you want. I don’t mind.”
After that, we made small talk for a little bit, but Michelle and Garrett left almost immediately after arriving. They had another hour or so to drive before getting to Michelle’s parent’s house in Delaware. They promised to stop back here on their way home in a couple of days.
As Wes shut the door, I couldn’t help but feel a new tension in the air. It was no longer sexual. He looked passive as he muttered, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I answered too quickly. I wasn’t sure I wanted to bring it up. We had just started seeing each other, so the conflict of children really shouldn’t be an issue. Plus, things had been going so well. I didn’t want to ruin anything.
“I can tell something’s bugging you,” Wes countered. He gave me a quick kiss and led me to the couch, having me sit on his lap to get more comfortable. It was becoming a habit for us sitting like this. I wasn’t complaining. “Talk to me.”
“You’re so good with Jade,” I spurted out, feeling overwhelmed. “You’re amazing with her, and I sucked at it. I’m not mom material by any means.”
“Jade’s my niece, and not my first niece either. Of course, I’m good with her. I love the kid, but I don’t get what that has to do with you or us,” he said.
I groaned, trying to find the right words without completely blowing this out of proportion, “I’m just intimidated, I guess. Obviously, you’re older than me, and you’re going to want certain things a lot sooner than me. Yeah, we’re not even kind of on that level yet, but I’m scared to get attached to you and have to end it for something I foresaw in the beginning. How would that be fair?”
“You think because I’m good with Jade that I’m going to pressure you into a baby?” He started laughing. “Do you realize how crazy that sounds?”
“You’re thirty,” I pointed out. “It wouldn’t exactly be crazy of you to want to start a family in a couple years. I’m nineteen. I’m avoiding pregnancy like the plague.”
Wes shrugged as if the thought had never really crossed his mind. Maybe it hadn’t. Maybe I was completely overreacting to this. He said lightly, “I’m not forcing you into a baby or anything for that matter. It’s way too early to be thinking like that. And if we do get to a serious point, I also know what I was in for by choosing to date someone ten years younger than me.”
“I didn’t want to say anything, but this is all so new to me,” I stared at the opposite corner of the room. “I’ve never seriously considered dating someone before, and I’ve never been a girlfriend. I don’t know how any of this works, but I’m scared to start liking it all and then have it all ripped away in the future because you want something that I’m just not ready for.”
“You’ve never had a boyfriend before?” He asked.
“Nope, I told you that at dinner when we first met in Philly,” I reminded him. All he could respond with was a nod. I guess he put most of that evening’s conversation out of his head. “This is pretty much my first round at everything, so I don’t know what the procedures are. It’s just a thought that got into my head when Jade was telling you about her new ‘kitty’, and you knew all the right questions to ask.”
“She’s my niece. Again, I love the kid. If you had a niece, you’d be good at it, too. Listen. Don’t make yourself crazy about that stuff. I don’t even know if I ever want to have kids,” he shrugged it off, but somehow, this wasn’t comforting news. “If that day ever comes, we’ll deal with it then. Until then, we should just be worried about us and having a good time together now.”
“There’s something else,” I bit my lip. “When I first got here and Michelle answered the door, I felt like I wanted to claw her eyes out. It’s ridiculous now because I know she’s your sister-in-law and pregnant and the sweetest person ever, but at the time, I just saw this glowing, beautiful woman answering your door. Do you know how crazy I felt? I’ve never been jealous before…ever.”
“Sometimes, a little jealousy can be a good thing,” he said kissing me firmly on the lips, “but Michelle isn’t exactly my type.” He kissed me again. “You’re my type.”
I pulled away slightly, deciding it was my turn to be in control. He had always been the one to take me to a height of pure seduction, and then something always got in the way of us going forth with sex. Since it was already predetermined we wouldn’t, I decided to have a little fun on my own on my terms.
“Stay sitting,” I instructed. “Don’t touch me.”
Wes immediately listened and watched me intensely. I pulled out my phone and started playing a Cassie song from several years ago that I was still obsessed with. This grabbed his attention, and he was stone, staring at me.
On the outside I was dressed in jeans, a jacket and a t-shirt under that, but underneath it all, I had a secret. Slowly, I started removing my clothing until I stood in nothing but my lingerie. I was dressed in a red and gold laced push up bra with a matching thong. As the song picked up, I started moving to the beat. He watched me dance with thrilling concentration. I don’t think he even blinked.
I went back to his pants and slowly unbuttoned them. As I pulled off his jeans, I couldn’t help but stop and stare at his erection. I shook my head loose, regaining control of myself. I stood on the couch, so his head was at the same level as my waist. I picked up both of his hands and guided them up my thighs to my behind, urging him to coax me forward.
Wes complied, and as he pushed my waist forward, he started kissing my sheer underwear, a thin layer between me and an orgasm. He pulled me forward even more, and I lifted up one of my feet so it was resting next to his head on the couch, opening myself up to him. He expertly began digging his tongue between my legs after pushing aside the lace barrier.
My body started trembling at the glorious feeling of him sucking on my clit. I honestly hadn’t expected him to do this. He kept saying he wanted me tested first, but here he was licking and sucking hard on my throbbing clit.
I clenched his shoulders in my grasp. The feeling was building. It had been so long. This felt amazing, and slowly, he came to a stop. He picked me off of him before I could feel any disappointment and put me on my back. In one quick motion, he yanked down my underwear and started eating me out.
He was so aggressive and commanding that I couldn’t fight him. He had taken all my control in this moment, and as much as I wanted it back, I wanted this feeling even more. The more he licked, the more the feeling built. I yelped, and he sucked harder. All of a sudden, a cry of pure ecstasy escaped my lips. Then another and another. My body was left limp and exhausted, trembling with euphoria. That was the most amazing feeling I had ever felt. I needed that so bad.
Wes picked himself off of me, licking his lips with this devious grin. Yes, I had been defeated, and I loved every second of it. He kissed my stomach, up to my chest, my neck and finally my lips. I could still feel him hard between my legs, but he made no effort to take his turn.
I tried reaching for him, but he pulled away, “This was all for you, Adriana.” He said against my lips.
“I have no idea how you’re capable of doing this to me,” I said, giving him another kiss. I was so grateful for so many reasons. It was hard to explain. Hell, I’m not even sure I understood it myself.
Wes laughed and stood up. I stared long enough for me to drink in his appearance. He gave his hand to me and helped me to my wobbly feet, “C’mon, let’s go to bed. I have an early day tomorrow.”
Chapter 11
My phone started ringing, and I looked down at the screen. It was Bethany Howell. God, this girl couldn’t take a hint. She had called several times since I ran into her on campus. Once, I was in Virginia, so I had a genuine excuse for not seeing her. Every other time, I claimed to be getting ready for work or had previous plans. Still, like clockwork, she called every few days, and I was running out of excuses. It had been over a month since I had first run into her, and she acted like she
couldn’t sense my reservations.
“Hey, Bethany,” I said into the phone. I was in my apartment in Philly, eating a bowl of cereal in the kitchen. “What’s up?”
“Hey, I heard you were at the Cunningham Fundraiser the other night,” she answered. “I was so upset. I wanted to go, but I had so much work to do. I’ve never seen you at one of those things, so of course, I missed your one time outing.”
“Yeah, it was kind of a last minute choice,” I groaned. This is exactly why I hated going to those types of things. It made my presence known to the class of people that I’d rather forget me. Ever since Wes and I had started seeing each other though, I found myself going to more and more of them. It was important for his career.
“I heard you were there with your boyfriend. I had no idea you were even seeing anyone. I don’t think I ever remember you having a boyfriend before,” Bethany was captivated by the gossip of another person’s life; it was her obsession.
I fidgeted in my seat, knowing how quickly word spread. I answered, “He isn’t my boyfriend, just a boy who I’ve been seeing recently.”
“Nonsense,” Bethany responded like she actually knew what the hell was going on in my life. “I heard you two were all over each other, and your mom couldn’t stop talking about how she loved how you two looked together, that she was happy you found someone worthy of all your blessings, that she loves how you’re going out more. It’s okay if you want to keep this hush, hush for now. I understand. We can keep it between us friends.”
I didn’t know what to say. I just wanted to get off the phone. Somehow, my business was everyone’s business. I never understood how that was fair. Bethany took note of the prolonged silence. She sneered, “Well, I should be letting you go. I have a million things to do for school, which I’m sure you can relate to.” Great, and now I felt like such a loser, sitting here in my pajamas eating cereal with marshmallows in it. “I’ll see you Friday night.”
“What’s Friday night?” I cringed at the possibilities.
“Wow, you must be overwhelmed,” she sympathized. “Your mom and Dennis’s party is Friday. Everyone’s going to be there.”
“Right, it’s this Friday,” I shook my head at the thought. Isabel was going to do what she always did. She was going to spring this on me at the last second, so I wouldn’t have any time to think about it. “My mind’s been all over the place.”
“Trust me. I understand,” Bethany answered. “Okay, well I’ll see you Friday. I’m so excited to meet this boy you’ve been hanging out with. Let me know if you want to go dress shopping sometime this week.”
I rolled my eyes and hung up. Right before I was going to call Wes for details about this event at his bar, my phone started ringing again. Fuck, who could this be? I looked at the screen. It was Gloria. I answered, “Hello, best friend, what are you doing? Shouldn’t you be in class?”
“It was canceled. Are you free?” She didn’t wait for an answer, but truthfully, she knew what it’d be. “Get dressed into something simple. I’m on my way. Charlie just called me. He has a surprise for us. We’re supposed to meet him on 10th and Chestnut.”
“What kind of surprise?” I asked while pulling on a t-shirt and sweat pants. I was skeptical. “Charlie’s never surprised us before.”
“Just get changed! He sounded excited!”
Gloria and I walked into a studio, dressed in sweats with no makeup and nothing special done to our hair. Those were the instructions Charlie gave us. This was extremely unusual since Charlie normally wanted us covered in beauty enhancing products at all times.
“Hey girls,” Charlie greeted us with an uncharacteristic smile. “I said it was going to happen, and now, it is! We’re doing a photo shoot.”
For as long as I could remember, Charlie said he was going to host a photo shoot, but he was so cheap. I never thought in a million years that he’d actually go through with the idea. Gloria jumped up and down, “Charlie, I love it! What are we shooting for?”
“I want to get a website up and running for Lux,” he shrugged. “Everybody’s online. We should be, too.”
“I’m so excited!” Gloria looked around the space, mesmerized by all the filming equipment. Across the other end of the room was a white backdrop with different lighting fixtures pointed down on it. To the other side, there was a vanity mirror where two men stood, talking. One had a camera and the other was dressed in a black outfit with a colorful logo that I couldn’t quite make out on his shirt. There was our photographer and makeup artist.
“I had a few girls in this morning doing some shots, but this is all for you two,” he gestured to the wardrobe of bikinis, thongs and props. “My best girls should be gracing the home page.”
Gloria raced to the costumes pulling them down and holding them up to her body. I stood in place, not saying a word, just staring at everything in awe. Finally, as if sensing my discomfort, Gloria came over and pulled me aside, “What’s wrong? I can tell something’s bothering you.”
“I never thought this day would actually come,” I said in a small voice. “He wants us to pose on the internet.”
She crossed her arms defensively and narrowed her brow, “You’re already naked on a stage most of the week. What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is there’s no recording devices allowed in the club,” I groaned. “I can’t be posted all over the internet.”
“Adriana, it’s not a big deal,” Charlie said as he grabbed a box and showed me its contents. It was full of masks. Clearly, he had raided my locker at the club. “I know your problems, and I’ve got you covered. I always take care of you girls.”
Suddenly, a mask didn’t seem so protective anymore. The idea of being naked online was chilling to me. I’d never be able to control who had those pictures or where they went. What if my dad saw them? I couldn’t think like that. It was making me sick.
“We’ll do this together, you and me,” Gloria said while caressing my hair with one hand and squeezing my hand with her other. “It’ll be more modeling than anything. You know Charlie only puts out tasteful representations of Lux. C’mon, we’ve been talking about this forever. You were down for this back in the summer.” She frowned and then spat. “Is it Wes? Is he the reason why you don’t want to do this?”
“This has nothing to do with him,” I crossed my arms. Now, I was the defensive one. “I just don’t think I want to be nude on the internet.”
“You won’t be,” Charlie pointed to the lingerie. “Adriana, don’t let me down. We’ll use all fake info. No one will have any idea it’s you. It’ll be tastefully done. That’s what these guys are here for.” The two of them stared me down with wide, pleading eyes. “We only have a limited time to get this done. I have to pay for their services whether or not you choose to go through with this.” Slowly, I nodded my head, and Gloria cheered, wrapping me into a hug and jumping up and down.
We spent the next hour or so getting our makeup and hair done by some guy named Brian. He was dating our photographer, Calvin. They opened the studio about a year ago to bring their individual arts together. They were marvelous the entire time. They kept saying how stunning we were and how perfect our skin was. Suddenly, I felt confident and beautiful despite the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach.
By the time we were done, Gloria’s red hair was poker straight with added extensions to flow down her back. She was wearing dark red lipstick and a thick layer of black eyeliner and mascara. Charlie handed her sparkling horns, a pointed tail, and black lingerie. She tugged on the outfit with thigh-high, black boots.
My look was completely opposite.
My makeup was very soft and pretty. My hair was curled and pinned down one side of my shoulder. I looked very Grecian Goddess. I tied on a white feathery mask with a soft pink ribbon. I pulled on these elaborate wings, a white thong, and a matching push up bra. I felt ridiculous.
“Yes,” Charlie clapped his hands together. “This is my vision! Heaven and hell, good and ev
il. That’s what we are at Lux. Are you ready girls?”
I gulped as Gloria took me by the hand leading me to the set. I wasn’t sure about this. She whispered in my ear, “You can do this. We can do it.”
I nodded reluctantly and waited for instruction, “Okay girls.” Calvin pointed and adjusted his camera in our direction. “Let’s see a lot of fun and chemistry from you two. Gloria, you’re going to be the dominant one. Adriana, your face is perfect. Stay looking just as innocent as you are.” This isn’t innocence; this is fear!
Gloria took her cue and came from behind, kissing the back of my ear. Immediately, I tensed up. A million thoughts raced through my mind about how covered up I really was. I felt so exposed. What if my dad saw this? Surely, it would take more than a feathered mask for him to not recognize his own daughter.
“Adriana, are you okay?” Calvin asked.
Charlie stepped in and grabbed me by the arm, yanking me to the other end of the room. Calvin took his cue and started taking some solo shots of Gloria. She was loving all the attention, so she had no idea or care what Charlie was doing with me.
“You’re tense. I get it,” Charlie dug into his pocket, pulling out a baggy with two blue pills in it. “Take these, and you’ll be fine. Relax. You know you want to do this.” I stared at the small pills. “Make sure you chew them. It’ll work faster.”
I thought back to the promise I had made Wes when we first agreed to try dating each other. He didn’t want anything to do with drugs, but what the hell was I supposed to do in this situation? I couldn’t get through this on my own, and it would take way too damn long to get drunk. He’d never even have to know I took these, and everyone was counting on me. Besides, Gloria was partially right. I knew Wes wouldn’t want me doing this photo shoot no matter how I felt. I wanted to be the reason decisions were made for me, not the opinion of someone else who I just started dating…no matter how strongly I felt about him.