Struck: (Phoebe Meadows Book 1)

by Carlson, Amanda

  Fen leaned forward. He was naked and beautiful, his hair tumbling forward, his gaze intense. “You would keep my location from Odin himself? I don’t believe you, raven. You have always been his agent, his eyes and ears to the world. Your purpose is to take information back to your master, not protect his wolf prisoner. You will betray me, it’s only a matter of time.”

  I placed my hand on Fen’s arm. In response, he opened his arms and gathered me close, tucking me firmly against his chest. It was a dominant gesture meant to let the raven know where we stood.

  I went along with it willingly. “Ingrid told me Huggie does his own thing,” I addressed Fen. “She said the raven is tied to Odin, but because he’s so old, he has gained his own power. Maybe he’s exercising that independence to help me?”

  Fen turned to gaze down on me. “And why would he do that? What does the bird owe you? You claimed to have no ties to Asgard. Why would Odin’s henchman, a very powerful creature in his own right, choose to help you of his own accord?”

  “Um.” I shrugged. “I have no idea. I didn’t even know who I was until a few days ago.”

  “Who are you?” It was a bold question, directed right at me.

  The raven became agitated, flapping his wings. I caution you to not tell the wolf you are Odin’s daughter. He will not react to the news well.

  My mouth opened and closed.

  I didn’t know what to do. Fen waited for my answer. “A Valkyrie?” I hated not confessing, but my bottom line was fear. I was scared of losing, especially after what we’d just shared together. The news could create a huge rift between us that would be too hard to repair. My chest ached.

  I wished with all my heart that I had no ties to Odin, the god Fen was slated to kill at Ragnarok. It was all so confusing.

  Fen shook his head. “Even after being intimate, you still choose not to trust me?” He disentangled himself from me and slid off the bed, heading toward the bathroom. His backside was incredible from this vantage point. “I am going to shower, shieldmaiden. When I return, I expect you to give me the truth. I expect nothing less.” He paused in the doorway, his arms splayed between the two jambs, piercing me with heated eyes. “Without truth we have nothing.” He shut the door. The shower turned on a second later.

  I slumped back on the bed, crossing my arms. I huffed at the raven, “He’s right. Without honesty, we have nothing. I’m going to have to tell him what I know and accept the consequences. Why are you here?”

  You are in danger, and your safety is my priority.

  I said internally, Fen’s right. Why do you care about me at all? I should mean next to nothing to you, even if I am Odin’s daughter. I need to know why you’re helping me.

  I made a pledge to your mother.

  I sat up straight, clutching the sheets as they threatened to drop. “You know my mother?”

  I do. It was to her I made my oath to look out for your safety, not Odin. It was her last wish before she was taken away. When you came of age, I chose to honor it. She is a valiant shieldmaiden, worthy of much respect. The bird flapped his wings, readjusting himself on the post.

  I had no idea what to do with that information. I wanted to meet my real mother. “In order to honor her request, are you keeping my whereabouts from Odin?”

  In a way.

  “In what way?”

  I have stayed away from Asgard, but I am due to return any day. When I arrive, I will not lie to Odin. He knows you are a Valkyrie. It was he who sent the bolt of lightning that struck you. He wishes you to stay alive.

  Tricky bird.

  “Will you tell him about Fen?” I asked.

  If he asks, I will tell what I know. He knows the wolf has escaped. He will not know all the details.

  “How did you find me in Muspelheim?”

  I was waiting in the tree for your signature.

  “You can wait in the tree indefinitely?”

  I can.

  I answered internally, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now. Odin kept me a secret, threw my mom in a dark realm, and hoodwinked the Norns for over twenty years. Now that my secret is out, everyone is trying to kill me. How do I make it all stop?

  Your existence has changed vital pathways that connect our worlds. The Norns despise surprises. If you die quickly, those pathways change back and, for the most part, are not harmed. The longer you live, the more the damage becomes irreversible.

  “What does that mean?” I sighed. “It’s so complicated. I just want my regular life back.” But I was keeping the wolf.

  The bird squawked. You must stay alive. Until killing you no longer changes the outcome.

  “How do I do that?”

  Find your mother. She will protect you.

  “I’m assuming that’s not as easy as it sounds.”

  You need powerful allies and training. Then you must go to Svartalfheim and retrieve her.

  “The land of dark elves?” I shivered.

  Yes.

  “How do I find powerful allies?”

  The shieldmaiden Ingrid is one. She awaits your arrival at the Valkyrie stronghold. But there is another. I will tell you where he will be at midnight tonight, and then I must leave here. The bird flapped his wings. I have already stayed too long. If I linger, they will track me here.

  “Are you talking about the Norns?”

  Yes.

  “Why aren’t they here now?”

  I have cloaked you both.

  Trickier bird.

  The water in the bathroom shut off. Fen would be out soon, and I was going to have to come clean. I desperately hoped he didn’t hold my supposed parentage against me.

  If he did, I would have to regroup.

  Huggie jumped off the perch onto the mattress, his wings flapping. To find your ally, you must head to the docks, where you will find a boat hidden from human eyes. You will find who you’re looking for there.

  “Which dock? There are quite a few.”

  The boat location changes. The wolf will know once you are near.

  “Then what?”

  You must go to the Valkyrie stronghold. There you will find safety and receive training. Once you are ready, find your mother. Only then will your existence solidify enough to change all the pathways permanently.

  “Where is the stronghold?”

  In a place called New Mexico. The location is in a remote valley, not easily traversed. I must leave. They are scanning for me even now.

  “Will I see you again?” I asked.

  Yes.

  With that, Huggie soared into the air over the partition and out the kitchen window. I could feel the chilly breeze wafting in, so I got out of bed, donned a robe, and went to shut it.

  When I came back, Fen stood in the bathroom doorway, one of my tiny towels cinched around his waist. Water beaded down his chest.

  He was truly magnificent.

  “Has the raven gone?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I replied, sitting on the edge of the bed, unsure of where to take this conversation.

  He walked over and sat in my only chair, bending over, resting his elbows on his knees. It was the same chair I’d sat in not too long ago when I’d seen Huggie for the first time. “It’s time to explain, Valkyrie. There must be trust between us.”

  I nodded once. “I know.” I fiddled with the tie on my robe. “The problem is, the information I have is unsubstantiated. I’m actually not sure if it’s the truth or not. I haven’t had any time to figure it out for myself. Sharing it with you is difficult, both because I don’t know its validity and I don’t know how you’re going to react. You have to promise me you won’t freak out.”

  “You have my word. Begin.” He sat back, folding his hands over his abdomen, his biceps jumping.

  It would be much easier if we were in more comfortable positions, possibly dressed so I wasn’t so easily distracted, but I guessed this was going to have to do.

  “Okay,” I said. “Here goes.”

  25

 
; __________________________

  ____________

  I took in a deep breath and blew it out. “I’m going to start at the beginning, so you have the full story.” He nodded. “A few days ago, I don’t remember how many, because time has blurred together, I was at work. My job in New York is to help people try on shoes at a big department store called Macy’s.” Fen’s eyebrow quirked. “I know, don’t ask. I’m sure you don’t have anything so foolish in Asgard. Anyway, I went to the stock room in search of a pair of camel slingbacks, and out of nowhere I was struck by something. The force must have sent me reeling, even though I don’t remember, because I woke up on top of a pile of shoe boxes.” I clasped and unclasped my hands. “I never in a million years thought that what hit me had been lightning, because how could it get inside a building where there were no windows nearby?” I shrugged at my ignorance of all things Asgard. “The day went on as usual. I felt good. Then after work, on my way home, I was accosted by what I thought at the time was a homeless man. But now I’m not so sure. He grabbed me as I was coming up the subway steps and told me I was in danger. When I arrived home, I found Huggie in my kitchen, and Ingrid came in shortly after. The ettins kidnapped me in a subway tunnel and dropped me into the Norns’ lair—”

  Fen held out his hand to stop me. “Back up. Who was the man?”

  I shook my head. “I have no idea. He was big, smelled horrible, and had a huge scar running across his face.”

  Fen leaped from the chair, surprising me. “What kind of a scar?”

  He came forward so fast, I leaned back on the bed. “I’m…I’m not sure. But it was big. It stretched from one side of his face to the other.” I mimicked the way it looked with my finger, starting from the top of one eye and tracing across to my lower jaw.

  Fen began to pace my tiny room. “What were his words exactly?”

  “Ah.” I tried to recall what the man had said to me. I’d blocked the entire ordeal out of my mind after it happened, so I struggled to remember his exact wording. “Something along the lines of ‘New York is no longer safe. You must get away. They will be coming soon.’ That’s about it. I was totally freaked out, so don’t quote me. Why? Who do you think it was?”

  “I can’t be certain, but I only know one in Asgard whose face is marred by a terrible scar. Why he was trying to help you is another mystery.” Fen stopped pacing and strode to me, leaning down and settling his hands on my shoulders. He smelled amazing, even though his body was completely tense.

  “You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

  “If it’s the man I am thinking of, there might be hope for us yet.”

  Huge relief. “How are we going to find out if it’s him?”

  “We will take to the streets and search for him. If he is here, I will know it.”

  “Before Huggie left, the bird told me I have a powerful ally in the city. The bird referred to the ally as a he. The raven said we need to go down to the docks at midnight. He would be on a boat cloaked from human eyes. Do you think it’s the same guy?”

  Fen shrugged. “It may be, but we won’t know for certain until we come face-to-face. What else did the raven say?” Fen sat down on the edge of the bed next to me, causing the mattress to sag. He grinned. His closeness was distracting. His body glistened from the shower. I wanted to touch him and stop having this conversation.

  With effort, I focused my attention back to where it needed to be. “He said after we found this supposed ally, we needed to head to the Valkyrie stronghold in New Mexico. Do you know their exact location?” That would be helpful.

  Fen shook his head. “No. It will be well hidden. But I am certain the Valkyrie Ingrid will reach out when the time is right.”

  I nodded. “Huggie said she’s waiting for me.”

  “I will caution you, they will not be pleased to see me. They may even decide to engage in battle. But I will not be returned to Asgard as anyone’s prisoner.”

  I rested my hand on his thigh, stroking it lightly. “Of course not. If they have an issue with you, we will deal with it or leave.”

  His expression took on a sweet seriousness. “You will need training. You are a very young Valkyrie and have no idea how to harness what’s inside. Nor can you wield a weapon to any great effect.”

  “Hey!” I retorted. “I’m not so bad in the weapons department. A couple of iron rods don’t equal brandishing a huge broadsword, but I was impressed with my prowess, having never wielded, as you say, a weapon before I arrived in Muspelheim.” He put his arm around me, and I chuckled. “But Huggie said the same thing about the training. Then he said I’d have to find my real mother, because she will be able to protect me from whatever’s coming.”

  “Ah, so this is where the story ends. The last necessary information. Who are your parents, shieldmaiden?”

  I sighed.

  It was the moment of reckoning.

  I pulled back out of his arms, facing him, imploring him with my eyes to be calm and listen. “Fen, you have to promise to take what I say with a grain of salt—or a grain of whatever is equivalent in Asgard. Ingrid only talked to me for a short time before I was taken, so I don’t have any real facts. She told me my mother was a shieldmaiden named Leela, and Leela was her sister, which makes Ingrid my aunt.” I paused.

  “And your father?” Fen prodded. “He is a god, I’m assuming.”

  “Why would you assume that?” I was surprised he would guess such a thing.

  “Because, Valkyrie, you shone clearer than any I have ever witnessed. Most shieldmaidens have a Valkyrie for a mother and a patron of Asgard as a father. Not many have gods in their parental line, but some do. By your strength and glow, it’s only reasonable that you must have a god as a father.”

  “How many gods live in Asgard?”

  “Too many to count.”

  “What’s the difference between a god and a patron? Is a patron like a regular human?”

  “That can be a good equivalent. But patrons are stronger than any human. They make up the population of Asgard.”

  “Oh.”

  “Come now, Phoebe,” he coaxed. “Tell me who Ingrid cited as your father.”

  I gave him a weak smile. “I like it when you call me by my given name.”

  “I know.” He smiled. “I’ve gotten into the habit of referring to you as Valkyrie, but I will try to change my ways. It will take time. Now tell me who he is.” He’d asked the last part very softly, leaning in to kiss me.

  I brought my hands up to his face. I loved touching him there.

  I leaned in, savoring his fresh scent, his lips, his mouth. I broke the kiss reluctantly, glancing down at my hands, not knowing what to do with them. “Ingrid said that my father is Odin.”

  Fen stilled, his back perfectly straight. “That is not possible.” His voice was shallow, lacking any inflection as he stood up.

  “I hope you’re right,” I began to babble, “because I don’t want it to be true. And just so you know, I have no idea if it’s fact or fiction. I wasn’t lying when I told you I’d never had any contact with him—”

  Fen moved fast. He had one leg in his grimy shorts before I knew what was happening.

  I stood, my mouth gaping. “Wait, what are you doing? Where are you going?”

  “Out to find the man with the scar,” he said gruffly.

  “Fen, please,” I implored, moving toward him. “You can’t take off! We’re a team, remember? I know this is not great news, but we can overcome—”

  He stood stiffly as he zipped himself up. “Phoebe, if Odin is your father, this changes everything. I must find the man, or all will be lost.”

  “What does the man with the scar have to do with this?” I pleaded.

  “He will know the truth.”

  “Take me with you!” I insisted. “Huggie said I have to leave here. We are in danger. You can’t go without me.”

  He shook his head, ignoring me, grabbing for Ingrid’s ridiculous shirt that wasn’t going to button.
/>   I continued. “What if Verdandi comes while you’re gone? I can’t fend her off by myself. You’re essentially leaving me here to die or to be kidnapped again!”

  “If you possess Odin’s blood, you have nothing to fear.”

  “How can you say that?” I argued. “I’ve had to fight for my life since the first moment this happened! I was kidnapped and sucked into realms I knew nothing about. And everything I encountered, with the exception of you, tried to kill me. I would be dead already if it wasn’t for you.” I felt like banging a fist on his forehead to knock some sense into him. He couldn’t be that obtuse. I mocked looking around the room. “I don’t see Odin here to shuttle me to safety in his castle in Asgard. My would-be father is nowhere to be found. Instead, he left me to die and flung my mother into a horrible world to fend for herself like she means nothing.” Fen moved toward the door, and I leaped forward, grabbing on to his arm to stop him. “Odin is not my champion! You can’t leave me.”

  Fen turned back. “It does not matter if he is here in the flesh or not. He gave you Gram and sent his loyal raven, and be well aware, it was he who struck you,” he said gruffly. “It was he who sealed your fate. All this has happened because he has decreed it to be so. Odin decides whether one will receive the honor. Every daughter born to a Valkyrie does not automatically became a shieldmaiden. Your father”—Fen cleared his throat like my parentage was a hard thing to swallow—“kept you a secret, but then revealed you to our worlds in the grandest way, knowing full well he was doing so. He did not strike you without a plan. If what you say is true, there will be much standing in our way of being together.” I heard anguish in his voice.

  “It doesn’t have to be like that!” I insisted, holding on to him, preventing him from walking out and leaving me. “We can make our own way. Together.”

  “I am a wanted man.” He shook his head. “Odin will do whatever possible to capture me once again and toss me away. If you’re his daughter, you will eventually come to see his way, or he will force you to bend to his will. You have no idea what kind of strength you’re dealing with.”