Beautifully Broken

by Laura Lee

  We all pass the dishes around and fill our plates while making conversation. Gavin and his brother obviously like to rib each other, and their sister seems to get in on the action too, although I can’t tell which side she’s on. Their parents just laugh at their behavior as if it’s something they’ve seen a million times, which they probably have, now that I think about it. The food is wonderful. Gavin’s mom certainly puts that beautiful kitchen to good use. Neil has just opened another bottle of wine as the conversation comes to a screeching halt.

  “So, Gav, how did you two meet?” This is from Jack who’s smirking like he already knows the answer. Does he? Fuck, why didn’t I think to ask Gavin how much they know about us? Why didn’t he think about it?

  Gavin glares at his brother, confirming my suspicion that he does know exactly how we met. “We met in a bar, actually. Kat was celebrating her birthday and I offered to buy her a drink. But I’ve already told you that.”

  “Oh, that’s right,” Jack taps his chin thoughtfully. “Kat, which birthday was it again?”

  “Uh…”

  “Jack, it’s rude to ask a lady her age!” Carolyn scolds.

  Jack rolls his eyes. “Oh, please, Mom. That only applies to women over forty. And we all know Kat is nowhere near that benchmark. So, Kat, which birthday were you celebrating?”

  “Jack, drop it,” Gavin growls.

  Their dad sets down his fork and, frowning, turns his attention to his sons. “What am I missing?”

  “Nothing, Dad,” Gavin lies.

  Elle swats Jack on the arm. “Quit being an ass, Jack.”

  “Ow!” Jack whines. “That hurt.”

  Elle rolls her eyes and glances my way. “Kat, ignore these two. They’ve always been competitive about everything and they love to rile each other up. I think it’s some sort of twin, not really a twin thing.”

  “A what?” I laugh, thankful to Elle for breaking up the stiffness in the room.

  “The whole same age thing,” she gestures between her brothers with a fork. “They have this freaky twin-like bond because they grew up in the same grade, with the same friends, but as you know, they’re not actually blood-related. Hence the twin, but not really a twin.”

  Jack tears off a piece of his dinner roll and throws it at Gavin’s head. “Yeah, this guy wanted to be me so badly that he actually wormed his way into our family.”

  “What?” I feel like there should be tension in the air after that comment but everyone at the table chuckles, confusing the hell out of me.

  “Gavin and Jack were friends before we adopted him,” Carolyn explains. “They were in the same class since first grade. They were best friends, actually, along with Joey. We called them the Three Amigos. Gavin was always at our house anyway so we decided to keep him when we were blessed with the chance to do so.” Carolyn smiles at Gavin lovingly, making me a little misty-eyed.

  “Oh, that’s really great.” My voice catches a little on the last word.

  “So, Kat, what do your parents do?” Neil asks.

  “Um…” A sob gets stuck in my throat.

  Gavin grabs my hand under the table, giving me strength to reign in my emotions. “Kat’s mom passed away a few months ago,” he answers on my behalf. “She never had a chance to know her father.”

  Carolyn places a hand over her heart. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry about your loss.”

  Neil clears his throat. “I’m sorry, Kat. I wouldn’t have brought it up if I knew.”

  “It’s okay,” I wave him off. “Really.”

  The room is completely silent until it’s interrupted by a loud thump. I look up, startled, and find Jack standing on his chair.

  “Who’s up for a game of strip poker?” Jack’s chest is puffed out and he raises his eyebrows comically.

  “Jack Anthony Cooper, you get down from that chair right now!” Carolyn rushes to his side and tugs on his arm. “You’d think you were raised in a barn!”

  Jack gets down and holds his hands up. “Sorry, Ma.”

  She rolls her eyes. “You boys! I swear you’re responsible for every one of my gray hairs.”

  “Mom, you don’t have any gray hair,” Gavin says.

  She tucks a blonde strand behind her ear. “Only because I visit Ricardo every six weeks on the dot.”

  Neil wraps his arms around his wife and pulls her into his chest. “You’d still be the sexiest MILF I know; gray hair or no gray hair.”

  Carolyn’s face turns beet red while her kids all groan in unison.

  “And on that disturbing note,” Gavin announces, “we’re turning in early. Goodnight everyone!”

  He grabs a bottle of wine and tugs me behind him.

  WE’VE SPENT THE MORNING WALKING around the downtown waterfront visiting quaint little shops along the way. Gavin suggested we stop for lunch so that’s where we’re at now—a locally-owned café with the best sandwiches in town according to him. The weather is abnormally warm so we’ve selected an outdoor table, giving us the opportunity to enjoy the sunshine while we wait for our food.

  “So…exactly how much does Jack know about us?”

  I meant to ask him this last night but when we got to our room, Gavin pulled me in for a kiss and I was rather distracted for a while. Not that I’m complaining.

  He takes a sip of his coffee. “I still can’t believe that asshole tried calling me out at the dinner table.”

  “That doesn’t exactly answer my question,” I say with a grin.

  “He knows everything.”

  I raise my eyebrows. “Everything? As in?”

  “Well, not everything, everything,” he says. “It’s not like I call him every night to gossip about what happened that day.”

  I playfully kick him under the table. “So what exactly did you tell him?”

  Gavin rubs the back of his neck and his cheeks flush. “He knows how we met, how old you are, and that we’re together, despite the fact that you’re in one of my classes. He also knows we’re keeping things quiet until after your graduation.”

  “Wow.” I take a moment to think before asking my next question. “What happened to not telling anybody?”

  He gives me a sheepish look. “I may or may not have been heavily intoxicated when I spilled my guts. It was when I came home for Thanksgiving. I wasn’t exactly thinking at the time.”

  I laugh as I picture Gavin as a blabbering drunk. “You’re different here. It’s…cute.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re so serious back home,” I explain. “Here, you’re more carefree—you smile and laugh a lot more. You seem…less stressed.”

  He grabs my hand over the table. “I think you being here with me—out in the open—has a lot to do with it. I feel like myself for the first time in a long time.”

  “Well, whatever it is, I like it.”

  “I like it too.” He brings my hand to his lips and places a soft kiss on my palm.

  “So, your parents don’t know any of the sordid details?”

  “No, they don’t know all the details. Notice how I left sordid out of the sentence?”

  I roll my eyes. “Yes, Mr. Cooper.”

  “Is it totally wrong that I get turned on whenever you say that?”

  I get up and walk to the other side of table and take a seat on his lap. I loop my arms around his neck and lean in to nip his earlobe. “As long as it’s okay that I get uncomfortably wet every time I’m sitting in your class watching you command the room. You know all those bathroom passes I’ve asked for over the months? I was really sitting in a stall, touching myself, wishing it were you.”

  I feel his growing erection beneath me. He groans as I wiggle against it. “Kat, I think you need to get back to your side of the table before we get arrested for public indecency.”

  I laugh. “You’re such a—”

  “Gavin?” a female voice calls behind me.

  Gavin’s posture instantly goes rigid so I know he recognizes this woman and isn’t happy to se
e her. He lifts me off his lap and I quietly take my seat, looking up at the beautiful blonde standing next to our table.

  “What are you doing here?” he asks.

  “I could ask you the same thing,” she replies indignantly. “I didn’t know you were back in town.”

  “You lost the right to that knowledge a while ago.” His tone is angry. What is going on right now?

  The blonde eyes me curiously as I sit there silently doing the same. I’d place her around Gavin’s age, maybe a few years older. She’s wearing a navy shift dress with pearls around her neck and red-soled stilettos on her feet.

  “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend, Gavin?” she asks.

  Gavin sighs. “This is my girlfriend, Kat. Kat, this is my ex-wife, Hailey.”

  Oh, shit. What is one supposed to do in this situation? Her arm is outstretched so I awkwardly shake her hand. “Nice to meet you,” I murmur.

  Her eyes shift back to Gavin. “So…how long have you two been seeing each other?”

  “Since last fall,” he answers. “Why does it matter?”

  Hailey looks surprised. “Really? That long, huh?”

  She places her French-manicured hand on her stomach which pulls her dress against her body. My eyes widen at the same time Gavin’s do when we notice her small, yet obvious baby bump.

  “You’re pregnant?” Gavin says, staring at the spot where her hand is resting.

  Hailey rubs a little circle over her bump before dropping her hand to the side. “Yes, I am. In a few more weeks, I’ll know the sex of the baby.”

  “Congratulations,” I offer lamely.

  Hailey turns her attention back to me and smiles. “Why, thank you, Kat. That’s very kind of you to say.”

  “How far along are you?” I ask.

  Jesus Christ, could this situation be any more awkward? The only reason I’m even talking right now is because Gavin has turned into some kind of mute.

  “A little over four months,” she says. “I can’t believe I’m showing so quickly. My OB says everything is perfectly normal, though.”

  “Well, you look great.” I clear my throat. “Gavin, don’t you think she looks great?”

  He’s staring into space. “Huh?”

  I kick his shin under the table. “Earth to Gavin!”

  He winces and rubs the spot where I may have hit a little too hard. “Sorry, I was lost in thought. What did you say?”

  Before I get the chance to repeat my question, Hailey speaks. “Gavin, I didn’t mean to interrupt your lunch. I was just walking back to my office anyway. We’ll catch up another time. Okay?”

  He finally lifts his gaze and makes eye contact with her. “Yeah…we will.”

  I wait until Hailey is out of earshot. “What the fuck was that, Gavin?”

  Instead of answering me, he stands up, pulls money out of his wallet and throws it on the table. “Let’s go.”

  “What?” I ask. “Our food hasn’t even arrived yet.”

  “I lost my appetite. I can get you something back at the house if you’d like.”

  “What is going on with you? Why are you in such a shitty mood all of a sudden?”

  He gives me a look that seems to say, do you really have to ask?

  “Okay, I understand how seeing your ex-wife could do that, but why should we let it ruin our lunch? We were having a perfectly nice time before she showed up.”

  He rakes his hand through his hair. “Kat, please. I’d just really like to go back to the house right now. I’m…tired. I think I’ll take a nap. Please don’t fight me on this.”

  “Fine,” I huff as I grab my purse. “Let’s go.”

  So much for carefree, stress-free Gavin.

  “Gavin, please tell me what’s going through your head,” I beg.

  “For the millionth time, there’s nothing to tell. When I have something to tell you, I’ll tell you.”

  “What do you mean, when you have something?”

  He shakes his head. “I meant if I had something.”

  I groan in frustration. Gavin’s been acting strangely since we ran into his ex-wife almost a month ago. I keep trying to talk to him and he keeps brushing me off with the same pithy response. I know something’s wrong; he’s pretending everything’s fine but my gut says otherwise. Things between us have been strained. Why won’t he talk to me? Is he upset because Hailey’s starting a family with someone else? Does he wish it were with him? Honestly, the only way we’ve really connected since we’ve returned from Sausalito is sexually. It’s the one thing we seem capable of doing right. As irritated as I am with him, my body still craves his without fail. I know he loves me; I can feel it in his touch. But I can’t help but wonder if he has regrets about leaving Hailey. I can’t think of any other explanation for this distance between us.

  “I’m going back to my apartment after school,” I announce. “I can’t keep having this conversation with you. You let me know when you’re ready to talk about it.”

  “What? Kat, no. Don’t leave.”

  I start pulling my clothes out of the drawers and shoving them in my bag. At some point over the past few months, I seemed to have inadvertently moved in with Gavin. Maybe some space will be good for us.

  I put my hand on my hip. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?”

  He looks torn. “There’s nothing—”

  I hold my hand up. “Please don’t.”

  He bites his lip. “Kat, please stay.”

  My eyes fill with tears. “I’m not breaking up with you, Gavin. I just need space. I never intended to stay as long as I have anyway.”

  He looks at his watch. “Damn it! I have to get to work. Please just hold off until we can talk about this later tonight.”

  I move to the closet and remove my dresses from their hangers. “I work for the next three nights but you know where I’ll be afterwards if you want to talk.”

  “Kat…”

  “Go to work, Gavin. I’ll see you in second period.”

  A tear rolls down my cheek as he closes the front door.

  “Miss Kennedy, I need to see you for a moment.”

  Goddamn him. The bell just rang indicating the end of second period. Gavin’s been trying to make eye contact with me throughout the entire class but I’ve managed to avoid him. I’m trying not to have an emotional breakdown at school again. If I look at him, I’ll think about him. And if I think about him, I’ll think about us. I was planning to run out of the room as fast as possible but now I can’t pull that off without looking insubordinate.

  I clench my jaw and stare at my desk as the other students filter out. Gavin moves toward the door, I’m guessing to close it, but he pauses mid-stride and gets a strange look on his face.

  “Hi, Gav,” the familiar voice begins. “Do you have time to talk?”

  Gavin walks backwards and looks at me nervously out of the corner of his eye. I sink a little lower into my chair and release my ponytail to hide my face with my hair.

  “Hailey,” he clears his throat. “What are you doing here?”

  She shuts the door behind her and steps further into the room. “I’m sorry I haven’t returned any of your calls. I’ve needed some time to think.”

  Wait…what? He’s been calling her? Why? I hold my breath, pleading with God that she doesn’t notice me.

  “Um…Hails, now’s not the best time to talk. Maybe we can meet after my last class? How long are you in town?”

  “That depends on you, Gavin.” She rubs her noticeably larger belly. “We have some things to discuss.”

  Oh my God, does she want to get back together? Would he even consider that if she’s pregnant with another man’s child? I gasp as a sharp pain moves through my chest.

  Her eyes immediately hone in on the sound. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize any students stayed behind.”

  At least something’s going right; my hair is apparently hiding my face well enough.

  “Um, that’s okay.
She was just leaving.”

  I take my cue from Gavin and grab my stuff, trying to weave my way to the other side of the room before making my exit. Clearly escaping notice was too much to ask because I drop my book less than five feet away from our surprise visitor.

  “Shit!” I mutter under my breath. I bend down to pick it up and start walking briskly toward the door.

  “Kat?” Hailey says. “Oh my God, it is you!”

  I freeze. I should just walk right out the door and act like I didn’t hear her but something inside of me won’t let me leave. I straighten my spine and turn around to face her. “Hello, Hailey.”

  She looks between me and Gavin and gasps as she connects the dots. “Oh, Gavin, she’s your student? What were you thinking?”

  “Hailey, not now,” Gavin growls. His eyes meet mine and he adds, “Kat, I’ll find you later, okay?”

  I’m pissed about his dismissal but at the same time, I’m thankful for an excuse to get out of here. There is no way in hell I’m prepared to have a rational conversation right now. I narrow my eyes at him. “Yep, I’ll talk to you later.” I spin on my heels and rip open the door. It takes every ounce of willpower I possess to avoid looking back as I walk away.

  I barely make it to the nearest restroom before I fall to my knees and cry.

  IT’S BEEN THREE DAYS SINCE HAILEY’S ARRIVAL and I still haven’t seen Gavin outside of class. We’ve been texting but whenever I press for information, he tells me he’s still gathering information—whatever that means—and he’ll fill me in as soon as he knows more. He apologizes for being so vague but he swears it’s only because he doesn’t want to bring me into it until he knows the whole story. The one thing I do know is that whatever he has to say, it has something to do with his ex-wife and the possibilities terrify me.

  I look down as the text alert chimes on my phone.

  Gavin: Can you come over tonight after work? We need to talk.

  I take a deep breath before typing my reply.

  Me: TALK talk? About what’s going on?

  Gavin: Yes.

  I just walked into the dressing room of the club to start my shift. How in the hell am I going to get through the next four hours worrying about what he has to say?