To Love and Protect Her

by Margaret Watson

  She could see that he was fighting this. She leaned closer to him. “You’re doing a job that needs to be done. Someone has to do it. And everyone is glad that someone does.”

  He shook his head slowly. “You’re something else, Willa. What would your father say if he saw you with a man like me?”

  She felt her mouth curl slowly upward. “He’d say I’d made a damn good choice for myself.”

  “Don’t give me that.” His voice was stern. “He wanted to see you settled with someone who could give you the kind of life you deserve—someone with a stable job, someone who wouldn’t drag you all around the world with him.”

  “He wanted me to be happy,” she said. “My father would have recognized you for the kind of man you are. He would have liked you. And he would have respected you.”

  Slowly he reached for her. “You make it impossible for me to resist you, Willa,” he whispered. “God knows, I’ve tried to do the right thing. I’ve tried to stay away from you. But I want you too much. I’ve wanted you from the first moment I saw you. I never dreamed that you would want me, too.”

  “I haven’t thought of much besides you since the first time I saw you.” She couldn’t believe how bold she was being—demure Willa Simms, who had always done what was expected of her. “I didn’t mind living at Ryan’s ranch while they were decorating my apartment, because you would show up once in a while.”

  “And whenever I did, I tried to stay away from you.” He reached out and twined his hand with hers.

  “I know. I figured you weren’t interested in a mousy college professor.”

  “I was interested. And you’re not mousy, Willa,” he whispered, leaning closer. “You’re beautiful.”

  He reached out and wrapped his hands around her shoulders, pulling her closer. Her heart raced, and blood roared in her ears as she watched his eyes darken. “I’m going to kiss you,” he murmured. “And once I kiss you, I’m not going to want to stop.”

  “I don’t want you to stop,” she said, hardly recognizing the throaty, sexy voice as her own.

  His eyes blazed, then he crushed her mouth beneath his. He didn’t seduce her with easy, gentle kisses. He didn’t go slowly, trying to convince her. He possessed her, taking and claiming her as his own. For just a moment, his hunger was uncontrolled, and she felt the wildness that he usually kept so deeply hidden.

  Then his mouth gentled on hers. He nipped at her lower lip, then outlined its shape with his tongue. When her breath hitched, he slipped into her mouth to taste and tempt her.

  She wound her arms around his neck and tried to bring him closer. With an inarticulate murmur, he eased her down on the blanket and stretched out next to her. “I knew there was a good reason to bring this blanket,” he whispered in her ear. His breath rippled through her hair and caressed her skin, making her shiver.

  He pulled her closer, warming her with the heat of his body. Then he found her mouth again. He lingered there for a long time, tasting and teasing. Desire coiled inside her, making her shiver again. Restlessly she let her hands roam his back, lingering over every taut muscle, every ridge in his spine.

  When she slipped her hands beneath his shirt to touch his hot skin, he groaned into her mouth. “You set me on fire,” he muttered against her neck. He tensed when she touched his hard belly, and flinched when she let her fingers drift toward the waistband of his jeans.

  “I want you to touch me,” he whispered, moving away from her hands. “But not yet. I want to spend hours touching you.”

  He slowly unbuttoned her shirt, letting the cool air drift over her skin. But when he unsnapped her bra and covered her breasts with his hands, heat flooded her again.

  He groaned again, deep in his throat, then lowered his head to take her nipple in his mouth. She arched against him, a hot need filling her body. “Griff,” she gasped.

  Again, he covered her mouth with his, swallowing her soft cries while he circled her nipples with his thumbs. She twisted against him, needing to be closer, wanting to pull away the barriers of their clothing.

  Blindly she reached for the button on his jeans, but he took her hand and held it. “Wait, Willa.”

  Slowly she opened her eyes. He stared down at her, his face flushed with passion, his eyes burning into her. “Wait for what?”

  “I want to make love with you. But not here. I don’t have any protection with me.”

  Her face flooded with heat. “I didn’t think of that at all,” she whispered. Was she so swept away by desire that she would have forgotten something so important?

  “I have some back at the cabin.” He swept her into his arms again and kissed her. “Why don’t we go back?”

  “Yes,” she said, and sat up. Her shirt fluttered open, and she pulled it hastily together. Griff reached out and rebuttoned it, and her heart speeded up when she saw that his hands weren’t quite steady.

  “Let’s go.” He quickly stuffed the blanket back into his pack and slung it over his shoulder. Then he took her hand and they headed back through the trees.

  Neither of them spoke as they walked to the cabin. Desire still hummed along her nerves, making her shaky and weak. Griff looked everywhere but at her. When they reached the edge of the clearing, he squeezed her hand, then let her go. “Wait here for a minute. I’ll be right back.”

  He disappeared around the corner of the cabin, then reappeared less than a minute later. Taking her hand, he gave her a smile. “Everything’s okay.”

  But when they walked into the cabin and locked the door behind them, he didn’t sweep her into his arms immediately. Instead, he took her hand and led her over to the couch by the fireplace.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, because she saw in his face that something was.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” he said slowly. “But there are some things you need to know before we make love.”

  “I know all I need to know about you.” She took his hand. “Nothing else matters.”

  “I want to tell you about my job.” He held on to her hand, but he didn’t look at her. “You were right earlier. I owe it to my family to tell them, and I owe it to you. You have a right to know what I do, Willa.”

  “You don’t have to tell me if you’d rather not. It’s not going to make any difference in how I feel about you.”

  At that he did turn to look at her, and his face was somber. “Don’t say that until you hear what I have to tell you.”

  “All right, tell me about your job.” She settled back against the cushions of the couch, but she didn’t let go of his hand.

  He looked away and stared at the fireplace and the ashes of their fire from the night before. “I work for British Intelligence,” he said after a moment. “I’m what they call a covert investigator. I work undercover, sometimes for months at a time. My job is to infiltrate groups that we consider dangerous and extract information from them.”

  “It sounds very dangerous.”

  “It’s a dirty, ugly job,” he said. “Do you understand what it is that I do? I make people believe I’m their friend, that I believe in their cause, and then I betray them. I watch them get arrested and sometimes I watch them get killed. And I’ve killed people myself when I’ve had to.”

  She stared at him for a moment, then she reached out and touched his face. “And how many deaths have you prevented?” she finally asked.

  “That’s not the point—”

  “Yes, it is the point. We all want to live in freedom, to take our democracies for granted. But we can’t do that unless there are people like you, willing to risk their lives to keep the rest of us safe. If there weren’t people like you, we’d be at the mercy of every fanatic in the world, every fringe group with a grudge. We would live with fear every moment of every day. I don’t know why you feel you’re dirty or tainted,” she said, her voice fierce. “The rest of us should be thanking you for what you do, every single day that we wake up in a free country.”

  Slowly he shook his head, but the lines on his face h
ad eased. “You’re choosing not to understand.”

  “I understand just fine. I’m sure that some of the things you do are ugly and would horrify me. I’m sure you could tell me things that would give me nightmares for months. But I’m just as sure that you’re a good man, and an honorable one. Your job isn’t going to change the way I feel about you. I’m proud of you for what you do.”

  The hardness disappeared from his eyes. He cupped her head in his hands and leaned forward to kiss her. “You’re too good to be true, Willa. I’m going to have to hold onto you tightly, to make sure you don’t disappear on me.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Fortune. And you can take that to the bank.”

  He grinned. “I suspect that’s American slang. But I think I like the sound of it.”

  He bent to kiss her again, and she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer. His kiss tasted of desperation, and she knew he expected her to turn away from him. Not only did they come from different countries, they came from different worlds. She knew nothing about the shadowy, dangerous world he inhabited. And he was about as far from a college professor as he could be. Logically, sensibly, she and Griff didn’t belong together.

  But she wasn’t feeling very sensible. And Griff’s arms around her, his mouth on hers, made her feel as if she’d finally come home.

  She had always been cautious and careful, both in her personal and professional life. She had always believed that relationships developed slowly, with care and nurturing. But she had never felt this wild need before. No one had ever stirred her blood the way Griff did. She had never wanted anyone more.

  “Let me make love with you,” he murmured into her mouth. “Let me touch you and taste you and lose myself in you.”

  She leaned back and opened her eyes and saw the need in his face. “Yes.”

  He rose from the couch and scooped her up into his arms, then carried her into the bedroom. He let her slide down the length of his body, then he yanked back the quilt from the bed. She reached up to unbutton her blouse, but he gently drew her hands away.

  “Not yet.” He kissed her palms, his mouth lingering until she trembled, then he gently let her go. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

  He hurried out of the room, returning in a moment to set a handful of foil packets on the table next to the bed. She stared at them, then looked at Griff, a slow smile gracing her mouth. “I like the way you think.”

  “I’ve wanted you for a long time, Willa.”

  He fisted the material of her blouse in his hands and bent to kiss the hollow above her collarbone. When she shivered in response, he began to unbutton her blouse. It fell away with a whisper, and he moved his mouth slowly down to her chest. Her bra disappeared next, then he feathered his hands across her breasts.

  Desire speared her, sharp and hot and urgent. She reached out and unbuttoned his shirt with shaking fingers, pulling it away from his shoulders. His skin was hot and smooth, and the muscles beneath were taut. When her fingers fumbled with the fly of his jeans, he gently pushed her hands away. “Let me.”

  His jeans dropped to the floor, and she stared at him, moved by the powerful beauty of his body. Then he knelt in front of her and unbuttoned her jeans, kissing her thighs, then her calves, as the rough denim slid down her legs. By the time she was naked, she ached with the need to feel him inside her.

  He slid onto the bed next to her, and when she touched him, he tensed and closed his eyes. After a moment, he groaned and moved her hand away. “I’m going to explode if you keep doing that. And I’ve waited too long for you to let that happen.” He rolled over and kissed her, pinning her hands to the bed. “You can play all you want later.”

  “I’ll hold you to that.”

  “You can hold anything you want. Later.”

  He covered her mouth with his, and she lost herself in his kiss. When he cupped her with his hand, she moaned his name and moved against him. “I need you, Griff. I can’t wait any longer.”

  “Willa.” He rose above her, then took her mouth in another devouring kiss. When she strained to meet him, he slid into her, filling her and claiming her.

  They moved together, their hands clasped, their mouths clinging together, completely joined. Sensation bloomed and grew until it filled her completely. When the first wave crashed over her, she wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly, whispering his name. And when he shuddered against her, the only sound she heard was his, murmuring her name.

  Griff waited until his breathing returned to normal, waited until the world stopped spinning, then he shifted to the side and gathered Willa close to him. She murmured contentedly and burrowed her head into his neck.

  “Are you all right?” he asked, when she didn’t move.

  Finally she lifted her head and looked at him. “I’m not sure. Am I still alive?”

  The stunned expression in her eyes eased the sudden vise around his heart. “Let’s check you out.” He smoothed his hand down her back and shaped her hips and buttocks. Her satiny skin sliding against his palm made him stir again. “You feel more than alive. You make me feel alive.”

  Her hand fluttered against his back, and she tightened her hold on him. “I had no idea,” she said, and her voice sounded stunned, too.

  Tenderness filled him, and he kissed her again. “Maybe we should try that again so you can be sure.”

  She raised her head to look at him, and slowly she smiled. “Maybe we should. I’m trained to observe, you know. But I need plenty of data to support my conclusions.”

  “I’ve got all the data you can handle.”

  Eleven

  Weak morning sunlight streamed in the window when Griff woke up the next day. Without thinking, he moved closer to Willa. She lay curled up next to him, her face against his chest, one hand resting on his leg. She looked vulnerable and innocent as she slept beside him.

  He pulled the sheet up to cover her, then rolled over and stared at the ceiling. In spite of what she’d told him, in spite of the way she’d touched him and tasted him and made love with him, he still felt as if he’d robbed her of some of her innocence.

  He didn’t care what she’d said. Willa didn’t belong with a man like him. And sooner or later, she would realize it. His heart contracted, but he forced himself to face the truth. Sooner or later, she would come to her senses and return to her safe, unstained world.

  But he would enjoy the time they had left. Another surge of wanting came over him as he looked at Willa, sleeping beside him. They had made love several times during the night, but his need for her was just as fierce, just as powerful as it had been before he’d touched her. And if her reactions were any indication, she felt the same way.

  He rolled over and pulled her close to him, kissing the top of her tousled head. Sleepily she smiled up at him.

  “Hi, there.”

  “Hi, yourself.” He brushed a kiss over her mouth, then sat up, ignoring the need that gripped him. “How about some food? I think we skipped a meal or two yesterday, and I want to make sure you keep up your strength.”

  “That sounds wonderful.” She reached for the sheet, holding it in front of her as she sat up in the bed. A delicate pink suffused her cheeks.

  “It’s too late for the sheet,” he said, his voice solemn as he tried to hide a grin. He felt younger than he had in years. “I’ve already seen all there is to see.”

  She stuck her tongue out at him. “No gentleman would point that out to me.”

  “I never claimed to be a gentleman.” He bent over and kissed her thoroughly, then stood. “Why don’t you take a shower? I’m going to call Ryan and find out if he’s made any progress.”

  The laughter disappeared from her eyes. “All right.”

  She moved to get out of bed, but he put his hand on her arm. “Wait, Willa.”

  Slowly she turned to face him. “What?” He saw that she was hurt, and cursed himself for his insensitivity.

  “I want nothing more than to forget about Ry
an, forget about what happened in College Station, and stay here with you.” He leaned forward and kissed her, desire stirring hot and fierce once again. “Can you have any doubts about that?”

  “I hope that’s true,” she murmured against his lips.

  He leaned back and smiled. “You can take that to the bank,” he said, quoting her own words back to her. “But I need to call Ryan. He’s going to wonder why I haven’t contacted him. And I said earlier that I was going to call him last night, remember?”

  “Yes, you did.” Slowly the pain disappeared from her eyes. “But can I hope he hasn’t heard anything yet?”

  “You can. And I do, too.” He was selfish enough to want a little more time with her before the world intruded. “Go ahead and take a shower while I call him, then we’ll make some breakfast.”

  “And after breakfast?” she said, a spark of mischief in her eyes again.

  “I saw a few games in one of the cabinets,” he said, hiding another grin. “I’m sure we can find a way to amuse ourselves.”

  She laughed and climbed out of bed, dragging the sheet with her. “I’m sure we can, Fortune. I’ll think about the kind of games we’ll play while I’m in the shower.”

  He watched her walk to the bathroom, relishing the view from the rear as the sheet gaped open. When the door shut behind her, he grabbed his jeans from the floor and went into the other room to pick up the phone.

  Lounging on the couch, he dialed the number of Ryan’s private phone line, the one that went directly to his office. He knew Ryan would be in his home office already, hard at work. After only a couple of rings, Ryan picked up the phone and said, “Fortune here.”

  “Ryan, it’s Griff,” he answered. “I wanted to check in with you, let you know that everything is all right at this end. Have you learned anything in College Station?”

  “We haven’t learned one damn thing.” Ryan’s voice was filled with frustration. “I’ve got investigators combing the town, but they haven’t turned up the van, or any other information. And there’s no sign of Clint, either. It’s like those two painters vanished into thin air.”