Broken Trust

by Tanya Jean Russell

Chase cleared his throat. “I hope you left some hot water for me,” he said abruptly before stalking out of the room before she could respond.

  She had a sinking feeling she had used all the hot water up.

  Once Chase had gone into the bathroom she lay on the only bed in the apartment, intending to rest for a few minutes before going to check if there was any food in the kitchen. After everything Chase was doing for her, the least she could do was feed him.

  Chapter Eight

  Standing in a cold shower, Chase let out a string of curses. It was just as well he didn’t want a bath. Needing to stay alert, a quick shower was about all he would be able to fit in, even if Beth hadn’t used all the hot water. How the hell had he managed to get into this situation? The last few months had been bad enough. After completing his last shitty assignment he should have had plenty of time at HQ to get what he needed without anyone noticing, but no, he’d immediately been pushed back undercover, pretending to be a friend of the groom for this wedding. The Commander had promised it was an opportunity to investigate the crash, but it hadn’t worked out like that. In the last few months Chase had gotten absolutely nowhere. Even now, when the mission should be over and he should finally be able to get back to what really mattered, everything had gone to hell.

  Resting one palm against the shower wall, he leant so his face was directly in the water jet, the icy prickles rushing his skin. He'd gotten through those weeks, hell, he'd gotten through more war zones than he cared to remember, but Beth stepping out of the bathroom her hair damp and ruffled, her body swamped by his clothes, had damn near killed him. She was the most desirable woman he'd ever come across, and she couldn't be more out of reach.

  What the bloody hell was wrong with him? It wasn't like he struggled with women. They damned near threw themselves at him, and he'd never been one to offend a lady. Chase enjoyed the company of women, in his bed at least. It might have been a while, but active deployments for months at a time had trained him to go without sex for extended periods. Yet now his body had decided to start lusting after the woman he was supposed to be investigating. He might not trust her, but that hadn’t stopped his libido in the past. Even being on a sanctioned mission wouldn’t stop him. But his CO had trusted him with this assignment, trusted that he’d do his job despite his personal interest. He knew the CO was friends with Beth’s father, Lord William Worthington, and Chase knew he would be hung, drawn, and quartered if the CO could read his mind. He had to get a grip.

  Stepping into his bedroom Chase took in the sight of Beth curled up, still holding a towel in her hands. Her damp hair fanned out around her, she was fast asleep. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight. She obviously hadn’t planned on sleeping as she was lying across the width of the bed, head not even on a pillow. Pulling the blanket from the bottom of the bed, he gently laid it over her. Carefully easing the damp towel from her grip, he went to turn the thermostat up. He couldn't let it cool down while she slept with wet hair. With everything going on, the last thing they needed was for her to get sick.

  It wasn't surprising that she'd dozed off. The drama of the day was bound to catch up with her. Having been so controlled, the effort of keeping the adrenaline-fueled panic in check, meant she'd be out for hours now. He hadn't been kidding when he'd told her he knew grown men who wouldn't have coped as well as she had with today’s events. Even when she'd realized she was still in real danger she'd held it together and done what needed doing. Impressed didn't even begin to cover it. He gave himself a mental shake before he talked himself into needing another cold shower. Grabbing a spare blanket from the wardrobe and a pillow from the bed, he crept from the room.

  Rather than opting for the too short couch, he lay on the floor between the couch and the bedroom door. He stretched out and reran the day’s events, looking for where he could have slipped up. If he’d done things right they would have a few days of safety here, but had he done everything right? Remembering their time at the safe house, Chase felt a smile stretch across his face as he pictured Beth’s happy dance. He would have let her win every point from there on in just to see the joy it brought her, if he had thought he'd have got away with it. The fact that she had won a point from him was unsettling. No one had faster reflexes than he did. She had him off balance, and that wasn't a good thing for his equilibrium or her safety.

  Beth—just thinking of her as Beth softened something hard inside him. When she had asked him to call her by the name her family used it had felt better than any of the medals he’d received. It felt like trust. He didn’t know what had possessed him to promise he’d keep her safe. He knew better than to make promises he couldn't guarantee he'd be able to keep. He only knew that in that moment, staring into her eyes, he’d realized he would lay down his life to protect her. Her trust made him more determined to keep his hands to himself and to keep her safe at all costs.

  Listening to sound of Beth's steady breathing, he prayed his CO would figure this out so they'd be out of here fast. He needed to keep things in perspective, needed to get on with his investigation, and being stuck in such close quarters with Beth was pushing perspective further and further out of his reach.

  Chapter Nine

  The TV coverage continued unabated as the next couple of days passed. Despite herself Beth was glued to the screen, hopeful for a glimpse of her family, desperate for much needed reassurance they really were okay. She trusted Jack Cheshire, but that didn’t stop her from worrying. Anything could have happened since she’d spoken to him. The continued speculation about her whereabouts and the repeated showing of the few grainy seconds of Chase hauling her out of the church were making her antsy.

  “They still don't know who you are,” she shouted to Chase, who was in the kitchen clearing up after yet another meal of tinned beans.

  When he didn't respond she added, “Doesn't it bother you that they are making out you're some sort of kidnapper?”

  Chase poked his head round the doorframe.

  “As long as they don't figure out where we are they can say whatever they like.”

  “But they think you’re a criminal.”

  “I learned long ago to ignore what other people say about me. I know what kind of man I am,” he said flatly, his expression dark.

  Beth looked at him, astonished. “I wish I could do that!” she said truthfully. Despite a lifetime of being dissected by the media, it was still hurtful.

  “It's easier when it's not every day,” he assured her softly, some of the darkness retreating from his features.

  Settling next to her, Chase yawned. She’d woken needing the bathroom the night before and realized that Chase hadn’t been spending his nights on the couch as he’d told her, but was actually sleeping on the floor.

  “Not sleeping well on the floor?” she asked, arching her eyebrows at him.

  “Um,” he said.

  “Seriously? How long did you think you could sleep on the floor for and still function? I need you in top condition, Trooper,” she teased.

  “Longer than you’d expect,” he said. “I’ve done it plenty over the years and in far worse conditions than on a soft rug in the warm.”

  She paused at that statement. She didn’t doubt it, but thinking about the harsh conditions he must have endured as part of his military career made her stomach churn.

  “Well. You don’t have to do it here,” she finally said. “I’ll take the couch, and you can have the bed.”

  “No way,” he exclaimed. “I’m not having you between me and the front door. The layout here sucks. Something I’ll have to fix in my next dark house.”

  “What do you mean next dark house?”

  “Well, I won’t be able to use this one again.” He shrugged.

  “But…” She paused, trying to figure out what he wasn’t telling her. “If no one knows about this, that means you set it up with your own money.”

  He frowned at her, as if confused by her train of thought. “Yes,” he said slowly.

&
nbsp; “So you will have all the expense and hassle of starting over again. Just because of me?”

  “It is my job,” he said.

  “No,” she replied, feeling a little overwhelmed when she realized what he had sacrificed to keep her safe. “Not this. This is your safety net. Not for some random person you’re protecting.”

  “It’s not a big deal,” he said, the expression on his face tight. Whatever he was thinking it wasn’t good, and whilst she wanted to offer to repay him, to give him whatever he needed to set himself up again after this was over, she realized by the set of his face that he wouldn’t thank her for it. Certainly not right now anyway.

  “Well, the least I can do is make sure you get to sleep in your own bed,” she said. He opened his mouth to object. “I know you won’t let me sleep anywhere else, but we can share.”

  His eyes widened as he looked at her.

  “Not like that.” She waved her hand in dismissal of his obvious worry that she was suggesting more than sleep. “We’re both going to need to be on top of our game, and we’ll need proper sleep for that.”

  “Okay,” he finally said. She had no idea how she’d convinced him, but she was relieved. Whatever was going on out there, she knew she wasn’t going to get through it without Chase.

  ****

  As the last spark of daylight disappeared Chase tried to ignore the fidgeting woman next to him. As they were both used to sleeping alone he’d suggested they put pillows down the middle of the bed. Ostensibly this was to stop them from disturbing each other as they moved in the night, but really for his own sanity. The thought of their bodies brushing together sent a heat through him that he wasn’t sure he could resist if it came down to the real thing. Despite the fact she’d insisted on this arrangement it was obvious she was struggling to sleep with him so close. If he hadn’t been sure it would have started an argument he would have simply gotten up and slept on the floor. Instead he focused on keeping himself as still as possible, hoping that she would eventually fall asleep and he’d have a chance of doing the same himself.

  When her breathing eventually evened out he heaved a sigh of relief. The distraction of her restless movements was finally at an end. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d shared a bed with a woman.

  Actually, if he was honest, he could remember all too clearly.

  It had been the night before he’d discovered his fiancée Sarah in bed with his brother. He’d been due to ship out on a mission that day, but their departure had been delayed. Thrilled at the opportunity to spend another night together, he’d driven back to her house at breakneck speed, not calling ahead as he’d wanted to surprise her. All the way there he’d been imagining the look of pleasure on her face when she saw him. He had always believed in the value of marriage, and although he’d been having a hard time getting her to commit to a date, he couldn’t wait to see the woman who would be his wife for one more night before shipping out for God only knew how long.

  When he’d pulled up outside he’d been surprised to see his older brother Dan’s car outside. His brother and fiancée didn’t even like each other. He’d been even more surprised when, letting himself in with the key she’d given him, he’d found the pair of them wrapped around each other, naked, on her couch. He’d simply stood there, arms crossed, staring at the pair of them until they’d realized he was there. He remembered with some satisfaction the look of horror on their faces when they’d finally spotted him looming over them. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Dan move so fast.

  It was obvious Dan was expecting a beating of the kind he wouldn’t have been able to walk away from afterwards, and whilst there were days Chase wished he’d taken his chance and done exactly that, on the whole he was glad he hadn’t wasted his energy. Their betrayal had cut him deeply, and he’d walked away without a word.

  Even now, seven years later, he hadn’t spoken a single word to either of them. The galling part was that they had actually had the nerve to marry each other and invite him to their crap-fest of a wedding. If he was honest, his only regret now was that his poor mum was caught in the middle. Dad’s suicide hadn’t done anything to mend the rift and Chase hated having any part in causing her more pain, but he couldn’t see a way to prevent it. For him a relationship should mean forever or it wasn’t worth having. The pain of their betrayal had taught him that people couldn’t be trusted. Forever was a pipe dream. No, he was better off alone. He’d learned his lesson.

  Beth snuffled in her sleep and pulled his attention back to the present. He could see her slim frame outlined by the miniscule amount of light creeping around the edges of the shutters he’d fitted. Despite himself he wondered what she would look like without the oversized t-shirt she had borrowed from him. Shifting uncomfortably, he tamped down that train of thought. Since he’d been betrayed by his brother and fiancée he’d certainly enjoyed his fair share of women, but this one was well and truly off limits.

  In an effort to distract himself from her tempting curves he forced himself to focus on the real reason he was here. The recent Great Britain Air crash was a horrific reminder of the one over five years ago. The Civil Aviation Authority investigation had cleared the airline of any wrongdoing, placing the blame on a small engineering company for manufacturing a faulty part. Chase had swallowed that explanation for years. Had lived with the shame of his father’s business being held responsible for the death of over eighty people. Had lived with the pain and misery that his dad’s subsequent suicide had caused for the family generally, but most importantly his mum. Not only had she lost the man she loved, but she’d been forced into bankruptcy. Chase helped out financially as much as he could, but they hadn’t been able to save the family home. She was always so determined, refusing to let things beat her. Even with the extra money he could give her these days she still insisted on working two jobs. He’d love to be able to fix everything for her, but he couldn’t. He’d been blasé about it with Beth, but he was actually worried his mum would recognize him from the TV footage. She knew what his job was but never knew the specifics. She wouldn’t believe he was a kidnapper, but he knew she’d worry about him.

  The problem was that now, years later, with the recent crash in the media, he wasn’t sure he bought the official findings anymore. The circumstances around the recent crash had seemed shockingly familiar. Suspicious that there was more than met the eye to these incidents, he’d finally begun to wonder if his dad had been right all those years ago. All through the investigation his dad had been adamant that the parts he had supplied had been perfect. It had only been after the finding that the root cause had been to blame faulty parts that his father had begun to doubt, going slowly mad as he relentlessly questioned himself. Whilst Beth had been at university at the time of the first incident, she was now poised to take over the company. Chase couldn’t be sure she had no part in whatever was going on with those two incidents.

  Chapter Ten

  As the sun began to sneak around the edges of the shutters Beth stirred, mortified to find that her t-shirt had risen up around her ribs and her pants were on display. Unfortunately that wasn’t the worst of it. Somehow in the night the pillows down the middle had disappeared and she was firmly on Chase’s side of the bed. Her back to him, she was spooning into him with his palm flat against her stomach, the heat of it radiating through her.

  When was the last time she’d had a man hold her? Sure her dad and her best friend Bree’s husband, Jake, both hugged her regularly, as did her friends Tom and Oliver, but it wasn’t the same. Even with Oliver. They might have been promised to one another as infants by their parents, but they had never felt any real attraction to each other. He was more like a brother to her, so Oliver’s hugs were pleasant, but bland. Nothing like this primal feeling of a man she was attracted to holding her close. The feel of him touching her skin was making forgotten parts of her tingle. Making her forget why getting involved with anyone was a bad idea. Just for once she wanted to do something just because she want
ed to. Not because it was the right thing, the safe thing to do. She simply wanted to react.

  Lying there, her conscience half-heartedly attempting to get her to move, she felt Chase shift behind her. She was suddenly very aware of exactly how male he was. She wasn’t stupid. She had heard this was a morning thing, but even her conscience gave in, finally allowing her to enjoy the embrace. Besides, Chase was asleep, so there was no harm in staying still until he woke up. After all it would be rude to deprive him of a much-needed rest. After the last couple of nights on the floor he would be worn out. She snorted to herself. Who was she kidding? She just wanted to stay in his arms, and any excuse would do.

  Enjoying the peace of the moment she felt his movement increase. The moment he woke up and realized where he was obvious as his body jerked back from hers. Embarrassed to be caught enjoying the feel of his arms around her, she lay still, frozen in place as she silently pleaded for him not to realize she was awake. Only when he’d carefully edged off of the bed and crept from the room did she allow herself a sigh of relief.

  ****

  After yet another meal of baked beans she finally managed to convince Chase to go and get some groceries. She didn’t want to be demanding, but the frozen bread had long since run out and there was no way she could face another plate of beans. Whilst on an academic level she knew that beans were sufficient sustenance to keep them going, they were beyond boring when you were having them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Chase had fought her on it, his concern at leaving her alone clear in his every word and expression. In the end he had reluctantly left her when she'd assured him that she'd stay out of sight while he was gone.

  His absence left an unexpected empty feeling inside her that had nothing to do with her safety, and everything to do with the man himself. Somehow after just a few days he’d started to fill a void in her life that she hadn’t even realized existed. It made her even more grateful for the space. She needed a little time alone to put the events of the last few days into perspective. It was weird that despite the challenges of the last few days Chase managed to remain so physically still. It was unnerving. Beth was a ball of energy and found it difficult to sit still for any length of time. Only the years of rigorous training had enabled her to find a way of behaving with the appropriate level of decorum during official events. The team of amazing people that coordinated things for the family were always so considerate of her, and tried to arrange things so that she got to do the events that involved walking around and meeting people rather than sitting for long periods of time, or at the very least that she would have short spells in a private room during events so she could fidget to her heart’s content!