by Gerri Hill
Shannon felt the familiar tug at her heart. She couldn’t resist Madison. She never could. She didn’t know why she was even attempting to. Two years of trying to get Madison out of her mind, out of her heart, vanished in a heartbeat. She nodded.
Madison nodded too, relief showing in her eyes. “My parents are going to a Christmas party tonight. I’m supposed to meet Stephanie for dinner. I’ll cancel.” She cleared her throat. “I’ve got to be with you.”
“I’ll…I’ll come up to your room after they leave.”
The walk back to the house was also made in silence, but it was a different silence than before. Their arms brushed as they walked, shoulders bumped, glances coming together then away. The fire between them spread with each step. They parted in the kitchen, silently acknowledging the flames that surrounded them. After more than two years without Madison’s touch, Shannon was starved for her.
She tried to make dinner as normal as possible, chatting with her mother about school and her job at Whole Foods. She took that opportunity to mention to her mother about her change in diet.
“I love your cooking,” she said, “but after the holidays, I’m going vegetarian.”
Her mother raised her eyebrows. “You’re what?”
“Vegetarian. You know, no meat.”
“I know what it means, Shannon. I’m wondering why.”
“Well, because I’m exposed to it. Most of the people who work there are vegetarians or vegans,” she said. “It’s healthier and better for the environment. And for the animals, of course.”
Her mother smiled at her but said nothing.
“What?”
“Nothing. It’s just, well, you’re all grown up now.”
“I wouldn’t say all grown up,” Shannon said with a laugh. She wiped her mouth with a napkin before drinking from her glass of tea. She looked at her mother thoughtfully. “I thought you said Madison wasn’t going to be here until after Christmas.”
“I must have been mistaken,” she said innocently.
“Uh-huh,” Shannon said.
“I know it’s none of my business, Shannon, but I couldn’t help but notice that you seem to avoid coming home if Madison is going to be here. You two were so close growing up. Did you have a falling out?”
Shannon couldn’t meet her mother’s questioning gaze. “Not really,” she said. “We just have different friends, different schools.” She shrugged. “You know,” she said evasively.
“You grew apart?”
“Something like that.”
Her mother looked like she wanted to ask another question but apparently thought better of it. Shannon was relieved.
“Well, maybe you two can reconnect over the holidays then,” she said.
Shannon nodded. “Yeah. I’m going to go up later. We’re going to…watch a movie.”
“It’ll be just like old times then.”
Shannon offered to help her mother clean up, but she shooed her away. “The Lansfords have already left. Why don’t you go spend time with Madison?”
“Okay. Thanks, Mom. I won’t stay up there too late,” she said as she headed for the stairs. She had to stop herself from jogging up. Once inside the main house, she took the stairs two at a time up to Madison’s floor. She paused to catch her breath before using her childhood knock—two quick taps, then three slower ones. The door was opened immediately.
There was no preamble, no conversation. As soon as the door closed, Shannon pulled Madison to her. They moaned when their lips met, mouths opening to each other after all this time. She spun Madison around, pinning her against the wall. Her hands slid under her shirt, pleasantly surprised to find no bra.
“Oh, Shannon…”
“You feel so good,” Shannon murmured as she cupped her breasts. They were fuller than she remembered; they fit perfectly in her hands. Madison’s nipples turned rock hard as her thumbs rubbed across them.
“Please take me to bed. I need to be with you,” Madison whispered as she pulled her mouth from Shannon’s.
But Shannon wouldn’t be rushed—it had been too long. She tugged Madison’s shirt over her head, her gaze fixed on her breasts. She bent lower, capturing a nipple with her lips, sighing in pleasure as Madison’s fingers threaded through her hair, holding her tight against her.
“God, I’ve missed you,” Madison said, releasing her enough so that Shannon could move to her other breast.
Shannon slowly kissed her way up, pausing to nibble below her ear, knowing what it did to Madison. Her lips found their way to her mouth again, and Madison opened to her, her tongue drawing Shannon’s inside. Impatient hands fumbled with her jeans and Shannon stepped back, helping Madison unbutton them.
“Bed,” Madison said again.
This time Shannon heeded her request, leading her into the bedroom. They undressed quickly, then Madison pulled Shannon with her to the bed. Shannon paused, her eyes taking in every glorious detail of Madison’s body, a body she used to know so well.
“You’re even more beautiful than I remembered,” she said quietly. She looked up, falling into the blue eyes she’d missed so much. “So beautiful,” she murmured again.
“Make love to me,” Madison whispered. “I need you to make love to me.”
“Yes…anything you want,” Shannon said as she parted Madison’s legs with her thigh and settled between them. “Anything.”
She moved down her body, feeling Madison’s wetness coat her stomach. Madison’s hands urged her downward, her hips rising up, telling Shannon where she needed her. Shannon kissed her breasts, moving lower, her tongue tracing a pattern across her skin, lower still until she met the intoxicating scent of Madison’s arousal. She parted her with her hand, exposing her to her greedy eyes. She was moaning before she even tasted her, her tongue slicing through her boldly before twirling around her swollen clit.
“God…yes,” Madison hissed as her hips rose up to meet Shannon.
Shannon took her quickly, feasting as if she’d been starving without her, her tongue moving with lightning quickness across her clit, pausing when she sensed Madison’s impending orgasm. She slipped her tongue deep inside her, feeling Madison’s thighs tighten against her head.
“Shannon…please,” Madison begged.
Shannon went back to her clit, teasing her, back and forth, Madison writhing beneath her. She finally relented, sucking Madison’s clit hard inside her mouth, holding it tightly, knowing just how much pressure to use. Madison’s hips jerked off the bed and Shannon pressed her back down, holding her as she climaxed.
“Dear God,” Madison murmured as her body relaxed, her legs going limp. “Come up here,” she whispered, pulling Shannon into her arms.
Shannon lay beside her, letting Madison hold her. She closed her eyes, absorbing all that was Madison.
“I love you,” Madison whispered.
Shannon squeezed her eyes tighter. The words were bittersweet, but she couldn’t help but return them. It was the truth.
“I love you too.”
Madison rolled them over, resting her weight on top of Shannon. Shannon’s eyes remained closed as Madison kissed her, her mouth traveling lower to her breasts. Shannon hadn’t had many lovers. She tried. But as Madison had said earlier, it was like going through the motions. No one touched her—body and soul—the way Madison did. She reveled in it now as Madison’s tongue bathed her nipple.
“You’re so soft,” Madison said, her lips trailing back up to Shannon’s mouth. “I’ve missed you so much, Shannon. I think about you all the time.”
“Me too,” Shannon admitted.
Madison pulled back, staring into her eyes. “How many lovers have you had?”
“A few. Not many,” Shannon said.
“Is it like this with them?”
“No. It’s never like this with anyone else.”
“Do you think of me when you’re making love to them?”
“Yes.”
Madison’s hand moved between their bodies, pausing
only a second before slipping between Shannon’s thighs.
“And do they make you this wet?” she whispered.
Shannon shuddered as Madison’s finger rubbed lightly across her clit. “No,” she gasped, spreading her legs, giving Madison more room.
“Do you want me inside you?”
“Yes.”
Madison slipped two fingers inside her and Shannon moaned at the contact, her hips rising up to meet her. Madison kissed her again, her tongue tracing her lower lip before sneaking inside her mouth. Shannon’s tongue curled around it.
“Do you want my tongue inside you?”
“God, yes,” Shannon murmured.
After two more quick strokes, Madison’s fingers left her, replaced with her tongue. Shannon moaned when she felt it slip inside her, and she grabbed Madison’s head, pressing her tightly against her.
“Feels so good. So good,” she whispered.
Madison’s hands cupped her hips as she settled between her legs, her tongue moving now over her clit, stroking it quickly, knowingly. Shannon’s head fell back, mouth open as she gasped for breath, her hips rolling against Madison’s tongue. She jerked up sharply when Madison sucked her clit into her mouth.
“Madison…God,” she breathed. “Yes. Harder…”
Shannon’s hands thrashed as Madison’s lips and tongue seemed to be everywhere at once. She nearly lifted off the bed when her orgasm hit, ripping through her, and she swore she saw stars. Before she could recover, Madison’s fingers filled her again, plunging deep inside.
“I need to be inside you,” Madison said as she claimed her mouth again.
Shannon gave in to her demands, their tongues battling as Madison’s fingers pumped inside of her. Shannon reached between them. “Let me touch you too,” she said, finding Madison wet and ready.
Madison parted her thighs as Shannon slipped inside her. Madison lowered herself, burying Shannon’s fingers deeper. Their eyes held as they moved against each other, slowly at first, enjoying the contact, then faster, both of them panting as they pleasured the other.
“God…Shannon,” Madison gasped. “So good…so good.”
Shannon couldn’t speak as she climaxed. She turned her head into the pillow, trying not to cry out. Two, three more thrusts and Madison climaxed as well, her mouth covering Shannon’s to muffle her scream.
“I love you,” Shannon whispered, her arms circling Madison and holding her tightly. “I love you.”
She felt Madison shaking, felt wetness at her neck from Madison’s tears. Shannon closed her eyes, tears falling from her eyes too.
“I love you, Shannon,” Madison murmured against her neck. “I’ll always love you.”
Chapter Eleven
“Oh my God,” Tracy said. “My heart is breaking for you.”
Shannon nodded. “It was hard. And my heart broke that night. She was getting married.”
“I assume you weren’t invited to the wedding,” Charlotte said.
“No. My social standing didn’t merit an invitation by Mrs. Lansford. Do you really think I would have gone if I had been invited?”
“Did you try to talk her out of it?” Tracy asked. “You two were so in love. It’s tragic.”
“The wheels were in motion. Madison had no say in it. She went back to school after the break, and I took the opportunity to visit my mother quite often. As soon as I graduated though, I knew Madison would be coming back home. Her mother had spent the whole spring planning and preparing for the big event,” she said.
“That’s when you started avoiding Brook Hill?” Charlotte asked.
“Yes. Once Madison returned, I never went back. I talked to my mother about a week before the wedding, and she said Madison had ‘pre-marital jitters,’ I think is the term she used. Her moods went from unresponsive to hysterical bouts of crying.”
“Oh God. Why didn’t she just tell them no,” Tracy said. “It’s such a waste.”
“I almost broke down, I almost went to her. I knew she was suffering. I knew I could calm her. But in the end I couldn’t bring myself to go. The emotional scar was going to be too much.”
“Were you still working at Whole Foods?”
“Yeah. After I graduated, I stayed on. I loved it. Loved the atmosphere. And at that point, I still didn’t have a clue as to what I wanted with my life. It would be another six or seven years before Jarod retired from the military and we opened our first store. Back then, I was just trying to get over Madison and get on with my life. My career took a backseat to all of that.”
“Did you ever have a steady girlfriend?” Charlotte asked. “One that you could commit to?”
“Are you morphing into Dr. Rimes again?”
“Have you ever had therapy for this situation?”
Shannon shook her head. “Are you suggesting I need it?”
“You’re nearly thirty-eight years old and you’ve never been in a serious relationship. Your mother is a cancer patient, yet you avoid going to her aid because you still fear a woman you fell in love with when you were a teenager.” She smiled quickly. “You think?”
“Once my mother retired and moved to her own place, I went to see her. I do go there still. I just don’t stay for days at a time like Jarod does.”
“For fear of running into Madison.”
“Yes. I don’t think that means I need therapy,” she said.
“Are you still in love with her?” Tracy asked.
“No,” she said quickly, but one look into their eyes told her they knew she was lying. “I’ve convinced myself that I’m not,” she amended. “That has nothing to do with me never being in a serious relationship. I’ve just never met anyone who…well, who I’ve fallen in love with.”
“How long was it before you saw her again?”
“Nearly two years. It was October. My mother’s birthday. I wanted to surprise her. Madison obviously didn’t live there with her parents, so I thought I could make a quick trip down, take my mother out for a birthday dinner and leave early the next day. I was twenty-two.”
* * *
“It’s so good to see you,” her mother said, squeezing her tightly in a hug. “I was beginning to think you would never return to Brook Hill.”
“It’s hard to get away,” she said. “Besides, we talk on the phone several times a week.”
“That’s not the same.” Her mother stood back, inspecting her. “Your hair looks good short like that,” she said, brushing her fingers through it. “You’re so attractive. You look just like your father.”
Shannon blushed, pleased her mother thought so.
“Well, do you want to stay here and visit or get an early dinner?”
“Let’s go out,” she said. “You don’t have to be around here for dinner, right?”
“No, no. Stella does all the cooking now.” Her mother grinned. “I coordinate.”
Shannon smiled back at her, knowing her mother loved her new role. “We’ll go someplace nice,” she said. “You want to change?”
“Yes. I was wondering why you were so dressed up. I don’t think I’ve seen you in anything but jeans since you were twelve.” Her mother guided her to the door. “Why don’t you go visit with George? You haven’t seen him in years, have you?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“He was working the flower beds around the gazebo. I’m sure you can find him there.”
“Okay, I’ll go say hello. Give you what? About fifteen minutes?”
“Sure. I’ll meet you outside.”
Shannon closed the door to her mother’s rooms, smiling at Stella who was already busy in the kitchen. Shannon didn’t know the other young woman who was helping. She turned to go when the upstairs door opened.
“Alice? Are you down here?”
Shannon’s pulse raced, Madison’s voice still able to give her chills. She turned slowly, cursing her luck that Madison was at the mansion. The world simply stopped when her eyes met Madison’s.
“Shannon,” Madison whisp
ered. “Oh my God.”
“Hi.”
Madison hurried down the steps and was in her arms before Shannon could take another breath. They held each other tightly and that’s when she felt it. Madison was pregnant. She stepped back, her eyes going to Madison’s belly.
“When did you get here?” Madison asked.
“Just now. It’s my mom’s birthday. I’m taking her out.” She looked up at her. “You’re pregnant,” she stated bluntly. Madison was married. She obviously had sex with her husband. And she was pregnant. Shannon’s heart shattered at the thought.
“Yes.” Madison held her gaze. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
“I need to go,” she said abruptly, turning to leave.
“Shannon, wait,” Madison said, grabbing her arm. “Don’t.”
Shannon was aware they had an audience, and she didn’t want to cause a scene. “I was going to go say hello to George.”
“I’ll walk with you.”
They were silent as they walked outside. Shannon took the familiar path down toward the gazebo, fully intending to find George, then leave.
“I…I like your hair that way,” Madison said, the first to speak.
“Thanks” was all she said.
“Were you going to call me?”
“No.”
“Alice says you rarely come home.”
“I stay away, yes.”
“Because of me?”
Shannon stopped and faced her. She was stunned by the sadness in her eyes. “Yes. Because of you,” she admitted.
“I miss you being in my life.”
Shannon squared her shoulders, refusing to let her off easy. “It’s your choice that I’m not in your life, Madison. I miss you. I miss us,” she said. “But you’re married. You’re pregnant with his child.”