by Gerri Hill
“I guess they were simply blind to it. I’m sure when we looked at each other it was written all over our faces.”
“What about Stephen?” Charlotte asked. “I’m assuming she eventually slept with him.”
Shannon felt the familiar stab of jealousy, even after all of these years. She nodded, almost afraid to speak. She cleared her throat first, swallowing down her jealousy.
“She had sex with him, yes. Not often,” she said. “Enough.”
“How do you know not often?”
“Because she told me.”
“And you believed her?” Charlotte asked.
“Madison never lied to me about anything. Like I said earlier, I knew what my role was.”
“You were in love with each other,” Tracy said. “How could she let Stephen touch her?”
“I know it’s hard for you to understand,” she said. “And now that I’m older—wiser—I realize how dangerous it was for us. Emotionally dangerous, I mean. Madison was someone I couldn’t resist—ever. And as I knew my role, she knew hers. And her role was playing the part that Candice Lansford had made for her. That included dating—and sleeping with—Stephen Cole. But Madison had the same problem I did,” she said.
“Which was?”
“She couldn’t resist me either.”
“So you were what? Seniors in high school then?”
“Yes. That was in the fall. We didn’t have another chance to be alone like that until the holidays. She was busy with Stephen and her friends, with parties, with events at the country club. Her mother switched her from tennis lessons to golf so a lot of Saturdays when we used to find time to be together were spent on the golf course.” She shrugged. “I had a couple of good friends from school that I hung out with. It helped keep my mind occupied, if nothing else.”
“It must have been terribly lonely for you,” Charlotte said.
Shannon glanced at her. “I could have surrounded myself with a hundred people and it wouldn’t have mattered.”
“Oh, sweetie, how did you cope?”
“I’m not sure,” she said to Tracy. “Our senior year, it just crawled by, yet it passed so quickly. College was looming and I knew our separation was near. She was headed off to her fancy Ivy League school and I was destined to start my career at the community college. It was all we could afford.”
“But you said you went to—”
“Yeah. The university.” She smiled at the memory. “Because of my tutoring Madison, Mr. Lansford set up an account for me. He didn’t tell my mother. He certainly never told his wife. He took care of everything. Got me admitted, got me a scholarship, everything. When he signed over the account to my mother, it was the first time I’d seen her cry since my father died.”
“Oh, wow. That’s awesome.”
“I never told Madison. He asked me not to, and even though there were no other secrets between us, I did keep that from her. I think she would have been proud of him for doing that, but I honored his wish.”
“Did you get any more time together?” Charlotte asked.
“Not much. We had this graduation party. It was the weekend before our last day. Madison’s class had a party that same night too. Both parties kinda ended up at this one guy’s house. My friends were going so I went over there too.” She looked at them. “It was the first time I met Stephen. I was eighteen.”
* * *
The spiked punch was sweet and Shannon took a big swallow, enjoying the taste. Loud music blared from the living room, and she followed Angie back outside to the patio where it was a little quieter. There, she felt eyes on her and she turned. She was stunned to find Madison watching her. She pulled her gaze from Madison, looking at the handsome boy beside her who had his arm around her waist. She clenched her jaw, then turned away, not wanting to see them together.
“Listen, I’m going back inside,” she told Angie.
“I thought you hated the music?”
“Gotta pee,” she lied. She turned to go, then stopped when she heard her name called. She turned slowly around, facing Madison again.
“I didn’t know you would be here,” Madison said. Shannon could tell the smile she offered was forced.
“Me either. Our other party broke up, and my friends drug me to this one.”
“Hey, how do you know her?” Stephen leaned closer. “I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”
“This is Shannon Fletcher,” Madison said. “She…she lives…she—”
Shannon took pity on Madison’s attempt not to embarrass her. She squared her shoulders and looked at Stephen. “My mother Alice works for the Lansfords. I live there.”
“Oh. The hired help,” he said dismissively. “Will that be your profession as well?”
“Stephen!” Madison said loudly. “That’s so rude. Shannon is valedictorian of her class. She can do anything she wants to do.”
“Whatever. Let’s go inside where our friends are. I didn’t realize the public school was invited.”
Madison jerked her arm away from him. “Go on. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Shannon turned away from the kiss he gave her, feeling sick to her stomach. Then a warm hand touched her arm, guiding her off the patio and into the yard.
“I’m sorry, Shannon. He’s a jerk.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. I don’t like him talking about you like that, and I don’t like him talking about your mother.”
“It is what it is, Madison. My mom works for your family. She’s a servant,” she said. “To people like Stephen, servants have their place and it’s not socializing at a party with people like him.”
“Stop it, Shannon. Don’t ever belittle your mother or yourself.” Madison moved closer to her, her voice quiet. “You’re the best person I know. I love you.”
As always, those words made her heart swell. She looked into Madison’s eyes, seeing the truth there. “I love you too,” she whispered.
Madison squeezed her hand. “Let’s go home.”
“What? But he’ll—”
“I don’t care. Let’s go home. I haven’t…touched you in so long.” Her voice lowered to barely a whisper. “I want to make love to you.”
Chills spread across Shannon’s body at the fiery look in Madison’s eyes. She tossed her cup of punch down on the grass and took Madison’s hand, leading her around the side of the house and out onto the street. Her mother’s car was parked a block down, and they ran for it. Once inside, Madison reached for her, finding her mouth, kissing her hard and fast.
“Hurry.”
Shannon fumbled with the keys, finally starting the car and darting out into the street. It was the first time they’d ridden together, and she slowed, wanting to enjoy this time alone. Madison seemed to understand. She moved closer, her hand rubbing lightly on Shannon’s thigh.
“Your parents are home, aren’t they?”
“I think so.”
They looked at each other, and Shannon raised an eyebrow. Did Madison expect her to sneak into her room with her parents there?
“Let’s go parking,” Madison said.
Shannon laughed. “Love’s Lookout?”
“There shouldn’t be many there. Everyone’s at graduation parties tonight.” Madison’s hand moved between her legs and Shannon parted them. “I want to make love to you,” Madison said again.
“I’m going to have a wreck if you keep doing that,” she warned, hoping Madison wouldn’t stop.
“I can feel how wet you are,” Madison said as her fingers traced the seam of her jeans. “I can’t wait to touch you.”
Shannon gripped the steering wheel tighter as Madison pressed against her clit. “Madison…please.”
“Please what?”
Shannon raised her hips. “Touch me now.”
Madison’s fingers made quick work of her button and zipper, easily slipping her hand inside her jeans and panties. Shannon spread her legs, moaning when Madison touched her.
“God, you’re so w
et,” Madison said as she unbuckled her seat belt, scooting closer. Her mouth assaulted Shannon’s ear and Shannon moaned again, finding it hard to focus on driving. “Are we there yet?” Madison murmured in her ear. “I want to be inside you.”
“The hell with it,” Shannon said, pulling over to the side of the street and killing the lights. She pushed the seat back as far as it would go, then slid her jeans down, giving Madison room. Her hips jerked as two fingers entered her. She turned her head, their tongues entwining as they kissed. Madison knew just how to touch her. Her thumb bumped her clit each time she entered her, faster and faster now, and Shannon panted into each stroke, feeling her orgasm build with rapid speed.
Madison’s mouth went back to her ear, her breathing fast. “Come for me,” she whispered. Her tongue bathed her ear. “I wish my mouth was on you. I wish I was licking you like this.”
Shannon exploded in a sea of color, blinding her as she pressed Madison’s hand hard against her.
“Good God,” she groaned hoarsely.
“I love you, Shannon. Don’t ever forget that.”
Chapter Ten
“God, woman,” Tracy said with a laugh. “In a car parked on the street?”
“Stolen moments wherever we could find them.”
“And Stephen was none the wiser?” Charlotte asked.
“Stephen was pissed as hell,” she said with a smile. She set her empty coffee cup on the side table, wondering why she was traveling down memory lane this evening, sharing intimate details of her life, details she’d not told another living soul.
“Do you really think you’ll run into her if you go back to Brook Hill?” Tracy asked.
Shannon shrugged. “It’s not so much that I might run into her, it’s the fact that she’s there. Each time I go there, I vow I won’t see her. Each time, I do. After the last time, I told her I couldn’t do it anymore. Each time I left her, I was an emotional wreck.”
“So your answer is to stay away?” Charlotte asked.
“That seems to be my only means of resistance to her.”
“The fact that she would be with you while supposedly being committed to Stephen disturbs me,” Charlotte said. “She was obviously in love with you, yet her commitment was to him, not you.”
“Dr. Rimes, the commitment she made was to marry him, not to love him.”
“And you were in too deep to put an end to the affair?”
“I tried. The summer before college was a whirlwind and we rarely saw each other. Stolen moments here and there, but we never had enough time alone to really be together. She was gone a lot that summer and when she moved away, I barely got to say goodbye to her. We weren’t alone and it was awkward for us. I cried that night after she left,” she admitted. “That’s when I decided I needed a change. I stayed in the dorm that first year. I made friends. I even had a girlfriend,” she said with a smile. “And I stayed away. When Madison would be home, for whatever reason, I’d make up an excuse as to why I couldn’t go home. Thanksgiving. Christmas. I stayed away if Madison was home.”
“You were so young. That must have been hard,” Tracy said.
“Oh, yeah. It was hard. And I was lonely. But I knew if I was ever going to get on with my life, I had to do it. Madison was obviously getting on with hers.”
“So you didn’t call or write? Nothing?”
Shannon shook her head. “No. Our affair, as you called it, Charlotte, was simply that. A secret affair.”
“So when did you see her again?”
“It was the holidays. I had asked my mother if she knew when Madison was going to be there. I was fully prepared to spend my third Christmas alone. I had a job at Whole Foods that was flexible, but I could always use that as an excuse.” She glanced at Charlotte. “My mother was smarter than I thought and apparently she figured out I was avoiding Madison.”
“So she lied to you?”
“Yes. I went home a couple of days before Christmas, thinking I would spend time with her. I was even intending on staying a little longer because Jarod was on leave. We only saw him once a year or so as it was. So I had it all planned out.” She smiled, remembering seeing Madison standing at the top of the stairs. “I was twenty.”
* * *
“Hey, Mom, I’m home,” she called, looking around the large kitchen and seeing no one. She would have thought her mother would have been preparing dinner already. She turned, heading down the familiar short hallway to their rooms when she heard the door open at the top of the stairs. She stopped and glanced up, shocked to see Madison staring back at her. How many times had that happened? Madison standing at the top of the stairs like a goddess, beckoning her?
“Shannon…”
Shannon nodded. “Hi.”
Madison came down and Shannon’s heart started hammering in her chest as she let her backpack fall to the floor. It had been over two and a half years since she’d seen her. The girl she’d fallen in love with had grown into a beautiful woman. Her long blond hair was a little shorter, just reaching her shoulders, but her blue eyes were as intense as ever.
Shannon was rooted to the spot as Madison came closer, unable to pull her gaze from Madison’s. Then Madison was there, hands sliding up her arms and around her neck. Shannon’s hands slipped around her waist and settled into her hug. She breathed in her familiar scent and, just like that, two years were forgotten as their bodies reunited.
“I missed you so much,” Madison whispered into her ear.
“I missed you too.”
“We need to talk.”
Shannon pulled back, out of her arms. “There’s not really anything to talk about, is there?” She was shocked to see tears in Madison’s eyes.
“I’m getting married.”
It was like a blow to the chest. Shannon took a step away. “Married?”
“They’re announcing it at the Christmas dinner party tomorrow.”
It wasn’t like she didn’t know this day was coming, but still, it was a knife to her heart. She finally nodded. “I hope…I hope you’ll be very happy,” she said as she picked up her backpack.
“Shannon, please…”
“Please what? You’re getting married.”
“I need to talk. I need…you.”
Shannon shook her head. “I can’t do this. I can’t be your friend. I can’t…listen while you talk about Stephen and getting married. I can’t do it.” She met Madison’s teary stare with one of her own. “It hurts me.”
“I know, Shannon. I know it hurts. It hurts me too.” She took a step toward her. “Please, I need to talk.”
Before Shannon could reply, the door opened to their rooms and her mother came out. They each took a step back, separating themselves.
“Shannon! You’re home.” Her mother smiled broadly, then glanced at Madison. “And Madison, you too. So good to see you again.” She hugged them both. “You look more beautiful every time I see you.”
“Thank you, Alice.”
If her mother noticed the tension between them—or the tears—she made no acknowledgment of it. For that, Shannon was thankful.
“I’m sure you girls have a lot of catching up to do. Why don’t you go out to the gazebo? I don’t think a single soul has used it since you girls left for college.”
Madison looked at her with raised eyebrows, and Shannon reluctantly agreed. They were silent as they walked out, the only sound the crunching of the winter-dead grass. The gazebo’s boards creaked with their weight. Shannon took her normal spot facing away from the house. Madison continued to stand, looking out across the lawn.
“Are you dating anyone?”
Shannon was surprised by the question. “I go out. I date,” she said.
Madison turned around to face her. “Girls?”
Shannon gave a short laugh. “Yes, Madison. Girls. I’m gay. That’s what you do. You date girls. You don’t go out and get married to a guy.”
Madison held her gaze. “I don’t want to marry him. I don’t love him, you kno
w that.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
“Oh, Shannon, come on, you know how it is. You know how it’s always been. There’s no choice. There’s never been a choice.”
“You always have a choice. It’s your life.”
“Is it? The only part of my life that’s my life is when I’m with you,” she said, her voice hoarse with unshed tears.
Shannon felt tears in her own eyes and blinked them away. Madison again turned her back to Shannon and wrapped her arms around herself as if warding off the winter chill.
“I can’t do this. I don’t want to marry him. I’m dreading it.” Madison wiped at her face, her tears falling now. “They want to do it in the summer. I’ll be twenty-one, just out of school.”
“They?”
Madison turned around, her eyes damp. “My mother. Stephen’s mother. They have it all planned.”
“What does Stephen say about it?”
Madison’s quick laugh was bitter. “He thinks if we get married I’ll want to have sex with him more often.” Madison looked her straight in the eyes, whispering, “I can’t stand his touch.” She looked away, staring out toward the mansion. “I just go through the motions. I know he can tell. I just can’t do it.” She looked back at Shannon. “I want it to be you. I always want it to be you.”
Shannon brushed her own tears away. “Then put a stop to it. End it. You and me, we can go somewhere, we can—”
“What? Run away?” Madison shook her head. “We’re a little old for that, aren’t we?”
“We’ll be out of school soon. We can start a life together,” she pleaded.
“You don’t think they’d find us? They would drag me back here. They would never allow it.”
“Allow? Madison, you’ll be twenty-one. What are they going to do?”
“That’s not how it works. You know that. Do you really think my mother and father would let it rest if I left home? If I went somewhere that they didn’t plan? Did something on my own? With another woman? Do you think they would really allow that?” She shook her head. “That’s not how it works.”
She finally sat down, close to Shannon. “The others, Stephanie and Tamara, they don’t mind the control. They’re happy planning weddings, planning when they’re going to have children, planning their children’s lives, like our parents did with us. It’s just one big cycle.” She tried to smile. “They can’t understand why I’m not excited about it. I can’t talk to them. I can’t even relate to them.” She paused, her hands twisting together nervously. She finally looked up with pleading eyes. “Please, Shannon, I’ve got to be with you,” she whispered. “Shannon, please?”