At Seventeen

by Gerri Hill

  The doorbell rang, interrupting any further questions. Shannon was thankful the party was starting. The sooner it started, the sooner she could get out of there. That thought, however, surprised her. These were her two closest friends, after all. With a sigh, she followed them inside, preparing to make mindless conversation with people she only knew in passing. Ally, it appeared, was running late.

  Shannon busied herself in the kitchen, helping Tracy with appetizers and making sure wineglasses didn’t empty. Charlotte was watching her, but she avoided being cornered by her. After she’d spent an hour wearing a plastic smile and pretending to be interested in the conversation around her, Ally magically appeared at her side. Shannon wasn’t looking forward to their reunion. She had only spoken to Ally twice in the last three months and hadn’t seen her since the week before she left for Brook Hill. Remembering that she’d been naked at the time only deepened her apprehension.

  “Do I at least get a hug?”

  Shannon opened her arms, feeling Ally’s supple body press against hers, albeit briefly. It was long enough, however, that Shannon didn’t miss the obvious innuendo as Ally’s hand lightly brushed her breast as she pulled away.

  “You look as…enticing as ever,” Ally whispered in her ear.

  “As do you,” she replied, letting her eyes rove over Ally’s body, landing on the tantalizing cleavage her low-cut blouse afforded. Tantalizing—yet not even tempting—but Shannon raised her eyes, her smile almost apologetic. “I’m afraid it’s a short night for me,” she said. “I’m leaving very early in the morning.”

  “I don’t mind a short night, Shannon. I’ve missed you.”

  Shannon leaned closer. “Oh, come now, Dr. Hatcher, surely you haven’t had a hard time finding someone to share your toys with.”

  Ally laughed delightfully. “Of course not. But I would prefer you. I think you enjoy playing hard to get,” she said.

  “Me? I’m the one who forgets dinner dates, remember? That’s not playing hard to get. I believe your words were ‘inconsiderate’ and…what was the other? ‘Selfish?’”

  Ally’s smile faltered only a little. “Self-absorbed.”

  Shannon nodded. “That’s right. Self-absorbed.” Shannon leaned back against the counter, putting a little space between them. “So how have you been? Busy?”

  “Always. And you? Is the store coming along?”

  “Yeah, right on schedule.” She was about to launch into an animated discussion of the store—when the freezers and coolers would be delivered, when they’d start hiring, when the inventory would start rolling in—but she remembered Ally’s normally bored expression whenever she spoke of their stores. Thankfully, Tracy announced that dinner was ready and Shannon wordlessly followed Ally into the dining room.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Madison laughed as all but one candle blew out in her attempt to get all thirty-eight. “Oh, no, that’s bad luck,” she said.

  Ashton swooped in and got the last one, grinning as if it was his own birthday.

  “Double chocolate fudge?” Madison turned to Alice with raised eyebrows.

  “I know, I know. It’s Ashton’s favorite. But when you and Shannon were kids, I do believe this is the one she had me bake for you nearly every year.”

  Madison’s smile faltered a bit at the mention of Shannon. She had hoped that this year, Shannon would remember her birthday or at least acknowledge it, but she hadn’t heard from her all week. Alice thought Shannon was coming back home tomorrow. And now, like other years, she felt a sadness overtake her. Blue. She felt blue. She tried to push it away, but Alice’s eyes softened and she reached out a hand to squeeze hers.

  “I want this corner,” Ashton said, oblivious to his mother’s mood.

  Madison squeezed Alice’s hand back, then took up the knife. “Here you go,” she said as she carefully cut him a large piece. She and Alice took much smaller pieces and it was as delicious as always.

  Ashton finished his piece in three large bites, then he took the laptop she rarely saw him without over to the sofa.

  “I think he sleeps with that thing,” she whispered.

  “He seems very excited,” Alice said. “Much more than when he headed off to medical school.”

  “Yes. I think this will be good for him.”

  “And what about you? He’s only here another week. Will you be okay in your new house alone?”

  “I’ll be fine. I love it so far. Of course, you know how little furniture I have. That will keep me busy and I have enjoyed shopping. Especially for clothes. I now own several pairs of jeans and shorts.” She leaned closer. “It’s been so nice not having Mother with me.”

  Alice laughed quietly. “Well, please don’t tell her I helped pick out your bedroom suite.”

  “It doesn’t matter. She’ll find fault with it regardless.”

  They were quiet for a moment, and Madison felt Alice’s watchful eyes on her. She looked up, feeling a bit melancholy again.

  “Has Shannon not called you?”

  Madison shook her head. “I don’t know why I was expecting her to. It’s not like she’s called in the last sixteen, eighteen years.” She reached for her coffee cup, then put it back, knowing the coffee was cold. “Even though Shannon and I have gotten closer again…it almost feels like we’re pulling away from each other.”

  Alice nodded. “Yes. That’s what people do when they’re afraid of getting too close.”

  Madison wanted to share some things with Alice, but she wasn’t sure how appropriate it was considering Shannon was her daughter. Then again, besides Shannon, Alice was her closest friend, despite their age difference. She glanced over her shoulder, making sure Ashton was still absorbed in his computer.

  “Those old feelings…they’re still there,” she said quietly. “It scares me. I imagine it frightens Shannon too.”

  Alice leaned closer, her voice equally as low. “So you have no wish to revisit that again?”

  Madison smiled. “Revisit?”

  Alice actually blushed. “I was trying to put it delicately.”

  Madison’s smile faded and she twisted her fork in her fingers, finally putting it down beside what was left of her cake. “Right now, I’ve got so much change happening in my life, adding that to the list might push me over the edge,” she admitted. “I need to focus on me. I need to get me back first.”

  * * *

  The drive home was made in near silence and she glanced at Ashton, who stared straight ahead, his face expressionless.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He looked at her and shook his head. “Nothing.”

  “You’re awful quiet,” she said.

  He shrugged. “Just thinking.”

  “About?” she prodded.

  He turned to look at her again, blinking several times. “When you were talking to Miss Alice, you were talking about all the change in your life,” he said.

  She gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter. So he was listening after all. She nodded slowly. “Yes.”

  “Mom…were you and Shannon…more than friends?” he asked, his voice sounding small and childlike in the quiet car.

  At one time, this question would have sent her into a tailspin. Now, she wanted to tell him the truth, to get it all out. It would be a relief not to have to hide that from him. But did he really want to know the answer? Is that something a son wants to know about his mother? He seemed to sense her hesitation.

  “It’s okay, Mom. You can tell me.”

  “You really are all grown up, aren’t you?”

  “Was she your first love?”

  Madison smiled at his choice of words. “Yes. Yes, she was.” She glanced at him quickly. “I know that must shock you.”

  “Does Dad know?”

  “No.”

  She turned into her new driveway and punched the button for the garage door. Before pulling inside, she glanced at him, meeting his intelligent eyes, which were full of questions.

  “Is that
why you’re divorcing Dad?”

  “No, honey. Your dad and I, well, we were pushed to marry much like you were pushed to go to med school.” She drove into the garage and parked. “Remember earlier in the spring when you told me I didn’t look happy?”

  “Yes.”

  “I tried. All these years, I really tried to make it work with your dad. But I never loved him the way you need to if a marriage is going to survive. And every year that passed, the unhappier I got. Do you understand?”

  “Yes. I know, Mom. I could tell.” He twisted his hands together. “But Dad is really upset about this. He said he doesn’t know how he’s going to make it without you.”

  Madison bit her lip, trying to find a diplomatic way to say that Stephen was using Ashton for his own purposes. She decided she couldn’t.

  “That’s laughable,” she said. “Agnes takes care of him. Not me.” She got out and slammed the door. “I’m sorry, but he’s really only worried about what his colleagues and clients will say. He’s not going to miss me being in is life, Ashton.”

  “I’m sorry, Mom.”

  She went to him and pulled him into a tight hug. “You don’t have to apologize, honey.” She released him. “Now, you only have another week here. If you want to spend some time with your dad, I’ll understand.”

  He nodded. “I’ll spend a couple of days there. I don’t know his schedule yet.”

  “Okay. How about tomorrow we have a play day. We’ll have our own pool party.”

  “Deal.”

  She brushed the hair away from his eyes. “I hope I haven’t disappointed you,” she said.

  “You could never disappoint me, Mom.”

  Later, with Ashton again engrossed in his computer, she filled a glass with wine and took it out to the pool. She’d purchased some furniture—a table with an etched glass top and four chairs, a couple of chaise lounges, and a wicker loveseat with thick cushions. She chose the loveseat, stretching her legs out while she watched the pool lights flickering beneath the water. It was a quiet evening with only the occasional sound of a car driving by. Her neighbors on each side of her were older, without children. She hadn’t seen much of them and she wondered if they enjoyed their backyards or if they preferred to stay inside. While she was growing up, the only time her parents ever used the backyard and patio was for entertaining. Even the gazebo—only she and Shannon used it. She couldn’t remember a single time when her parents—one or the other—simply went outside to sit. And once she was married, she rarely went outside either, even though their patio was quite elaborate.

  Maybe that was the problem. It was elaborate, but it wasn’t inviting. Not like Alice’s small patio, with her flower pots sitting around. That’s what she wanted this to be like. Nothing fancy, just attractive and welcoming, a place where she could sit and contemplate the day.

  Like now. Her birthday. Thirty-eight years old. God, where had the years gone? They had slipped away without her really noticing them. She had gone through the motions, day after day, week after week, until sixteen years of marriage had trickled away like sand through an hourglass. But here she sat, in her new home, the first one of her choosing. Her new life was just beginning.

  When her phone rang, disturbing the silence, she very nearly turned it off without looking. She’d been avoiding her mother all day. The voice message that she’d left early that morning was enough to put a damper on her day. She had no desire to actually speak to her. She glanced at the phone and felt her pulse increase. It wasn’t her mother.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Hey. I wanted to wish you happy birthday.”

  She closed her eyes for a moment. “You remembered.”

  “I always remembered, Madison,” Shannon said softly in her ear. “Did you have a good day?”

  “Yes. Ashton and I went out for lunch. Then your mother had us over for dinner. And she had a decadent double chocolate fudge cake,” she said with smile. “Just like old times,” she added.

  “I’m sorry I missed it.”

  “You sound tired,” she said.

  “It’s been a long week. I’m ready to come home.”

  Madison was surprised Shannon was referring to Brook Hill as home. Pleasantly surprised. Then she heard voices in the background, and she tilted her head, listening to laughter.

  “Party?”

  “Yeah. Dinner party,” Shannon said.

  “That’s right. Your friends,” she said. And Ally, the woman you’ve been sleeping with, she added silently. She closed her eyes at that thought. “Well, I don’t want to keep you. You should get back.” She cleared her throat quickly. “Thank you for calling. It means a lot.”

  She disconnected before Shannon could reply. She held the phone to her chest, feeling blue all over again.

  Chapter Thirty

  Shannon headed east to Brook Hill, enjoying the view of the sunrise as it crested the tall oak trees on the horizon. She didn’t bother making an excuse as to why she’d left so early. There was no excuse. She simply wanted to be home. The fact that she associated Brook Hill with home no longer surprised her. But it was Madison she wanted to see. For some reason, this last week away had been endless, culminating with a dinner party she didn’t want to be at.

  And then there was Ally. A beautiful woman with flowing auburn hair, funny, charming and intelligent…and Shannon couldn’t even feel the tiniest bit of attraction. Had it ever been there? It must have been. She’d found herself in Ally’s bed often enough. But that was the extent of their relationship. As she’d told Madison once, she wouldn’t really call it dating. Was that why—when Ally had cornered her in the bathroom at the party—she was repulsed by her attempt at seduction? She didn’t want her kisses. She didn’t want Ally’s hands on her breasts. A knock on the bathroom door had pulled them apart, and she had as much as fled from the party, pausing barely long enough to tell Charlotte and Tracy goodbye.

  Inconsiderate?

  Perhaps. But at the time, it seemed the best course of action. She did, however, refrain from driving back to Brook Hill right then and there. She’d grabbed a few hours of sleep, waking well before dawn. After a shower and coffee, she felt somewhat refreshed as she started out on the five-hour drive. Refreshed and, yeah, she’d been inconsiderate and thoughtless last night. She glanced at her phone, knowing she owed Charlotte and Tracy—and Ally—an apology. Only she didn’t think they would appreciate it at six in the morning.

  Traffic was light and she made good time, hitting the outskirts of Brook Hill before lunch. She drove directly to her mother’s house, happy to be back. She found her mother at the breakfast table, putting together a puzzle.

  “New hobby?” she asked after she’d leaned down for a quick hug.

  “Ashton left it for me,” her mother said. “Did you have a good trip?”

  Shannon held the fridge open, peering inside. “Yeah. Long week,” she said. “Have you eaten?”

  “I had a late breakfast. Do you want me to fix you something?”

  “That’s okay. I’ve got some frozen burritos here in the freezer. I’ll nuke one real quick.” She took a water bottle and twisted the cap. She paused as she eyed the birthday cake sitting on the counter. She was aware of her mother watching her.

  “Did you call Madison yesterday?”

  “It was her birthday. Yes.”

  “Good. I’m glad you remembered.”

  “Although I think we always celebrated it the day after, didn’t we?” She lifted the lid and scooped a finger full of icing from the edge. “Mmm,” she said as she licked her finger.

  “She seemed a little down yesterday,” her mother said. “I worry about her.”

  “Yeah? Well, I thought I might swing by her place later,” she said as nonchalantly as she could. “Has she gotten furniture yet?”

  “Some. Her bedroom and Ashton’s. Not much else, I don’t believe.” She shook her head, then smiled. “Lord only knows what she’s going to do about her kitchen. She won’t have a cl
ue.”

  Shannon laughed. “Yeah, I know. Maybe I’ll give her a hand with it.” She unwrapped a burrito and put it in the microwave. “Has Jarod called? Do you know what time they’re coming tomorrow?”

  “I talked to him Thursday. He said they’d be here early afternoon. He wanted you to go by the house and make sure the power got turned on.”

  “Okay, sure,” she said. She took the burrito out and pushed on it, feeling a cold spot. She put it back in for another minute. “You’re looking forward to them moving here, aren’t you?”

  “Yes. It’ll be nice to see the grandkids more than a couple of times a year,” she said. “It’s been good having you both here. I know your life has been disrupted because of me.”

  “Oh, Mom. That’s not true. Honestly, it’s been nice being back. It feels comfortable here. I think putting a store here was a good idea,” she said.

  “I hope so.”

  * * *

  Shannon felt a little nervous—and perhaps a little silly—as she walked up to Madison’s front door. She’d stolen a candle off of the birthday cake at her mother’s and had stopped at a bakery, picking out a small, but oh-so-delicious-looking chocolate cheesecake that was dripping in white chocolate sauce.

  She waited several minutes before ringing the doorbell a second time. She finally saw movement inside and stepped back, hiding her cake behind her.

  Madison’s eyes lit up and she smiled, bringing a smile to Shannon’s face as well.

  “Hi,” Madison said.

  Shannon nodded, then produced her prize, watching as Madison’s lips parted in surprise.

  “Happy birthday,” she said quietly.

  Madison covered her mouth with her hand, and Shannon was surprised to see tears in her eyes. She turned away from her and Shannon followed her inside.

  “Madison? What’s wrong?”

  She hurried after her, through the great room which, she noticed, still had no furniture and into the kitchen. She found Madison leaning against the bar away from her, and Shannon set the cake down, slowly turning Madison around, still finding tears in her eyes.