Scared of Beautiful

by Jacqueline Abrahams

  My finger twists the white gold ring on my left hand. I trace over the infinity symbol, my hand stopping at the small diamond set perfectly in the center. Jackson refuses to let me so much as move these days. We finally caved, after incessant nagging from Jade, Jackson’s mother, and Daniella, and set a wedding date. We didn’t need the ceremony. We are already bound in the strongest way possible. He insists on doing absolutely everything for me. It’s putting a huge dampener on my wedding plans.

  And it’s all because of you, I think to myself, as my hand moves down to the small bump that’s forming in my belly. Jackson walks over, coffee in hand, and wraps an arm around my waist, his hand resting lovingly on my stomach. He plants a sweet kiss on my cheek and lingers. I take in the scent of him. And it’s exactly as I remember on the day we met.

  “God, do you have any idea how much I fucking love you, Maia?” Jackson breathes into my hair.

  I do know, I think, looking down at the ring. As much as I love you. “Infinitely,” I reply in almost a whisper. I spent so much time trying to find home. And I finally did; I truly am home. Truth is, I’m still scared. But no one’s perfect. And I welcome these feelings, all of them: the joy, the memories, the sadness. I even welcome the fear. I may be scared, but fear is necessary to find courage and love, and that truly is beautiful…