Business as Usual (Off The Subject)

by Swank, Denise Grover

  I need to get my shit together.

  Chapter Six

  Lexi

  I’m more nervous than I care to admit. Rob wasn’t particularly attentive at the theater tonight, but as soon as we walked out the doors, he snagged my hand and let me know that we were together. Although I was the one who flirted with him last night, I now worry that Rob will expect more than I plan to deliver.

  He leans into my ear. “Relax, Lexi. I won’t bite.” Then he grins. “Not unless you ask.”

  My breath sucks in and the bartender from the night before returns with our drinks. I tried not to pay him more attention than necessary when he took our order—I’m a bit embarrassed about how much I told him about the program last night—but I turn to him now, when I glance up at him now, he’s looking directly at me.

  I flush and I tell myself that it’s because the room is warm then force myself to turn away. Our group rehashes the night’s performance as the bartender finishes handing out our drinks. They talk about getting together to put on a play this summer, but we all know it’s unlikely we’ll do it, even if we ignore the fact.

  Several people get up to dance, but Rob doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to join them. Our new semi-privacy encourages me to take the offensive and let him know where I stand. “Rob, I know I was the one to come on to you, but I’m not the kind of girl you usually go for.”

  His eyes dance with amusement. “And what kind of girl is that?”

  My face heats up and I stammer, trying to figure out what to say and not insult him.

  He laughs. “Relax. You’re right. You’re not my usual type. Maybe that’s why I’m interested. I just want to have some fun tonight.”

  “I’m not that kind of girl, Rob.” I cringe as the words leave my mouth. I sound like I’ve come straight out of the 1950s.

  “I promise that I’m not trying to get laid tonight, Lexi.” He picks up my drink and presses it into my hand.

  My eyes widen at his bluntness.

  “Hey.” He shrugs. “I know I have a reputation. That’s why I wanted to put it out there. I figured that if you’re not worried about me trying to score with you, you might relax a bit. You’re always so intense.”

  “Rob.” Now I feel like an idiot.

  He grabs my hand and lifts the glass. “Drink.”

  I laugh, even though he’s being bossy. I take a generous sip of the drink. “Happy now?”

  “Not yet, but the night is young and so are you. So let’s have some fun.” He takes a long drag from his bottle of beer, then lowers it to the table.

  Let go and have fun. It’s what everyone around me is doing; it’s what everyone wants me to do. My therapist is constantly telling me to ease up. While she’ll be happy that I’m out and interacting in the world, I suspect getting drunk isn’t on her list of recommended life choices. Still, Caroline is always harping on about how I need to have a full college experience, and we all know that getting drunk is pretty high on that list.

  We talk for several minutes and before I realize it, my drink is gone.

  “I’ll be right back,” Rob says as he stands then heads to the bar.

  When he returns with our drinks, I ask him to tell me about himself. He’s attending a community college about twenty miles away, getting perquisites to transfer to the University of Tennessee in Knoxville while working as a waiter.

  “You should be an actor, Rob,” I say, feeling the effects of the first drink. Since my first drink in months was last night, the alcohol has gone straight to my head.

  “I thought that’s what I was doing in your play, little Lexi.” He taps my nose.

  “No, for real. In New York or in Hollywood. You’re really good.”

  His gaze lands on my mouth before lifting to my eyes. “You’re really good too.”

  I’m not sure what he means. I know the delivery of my line was passable at best, but my head is getting too fuzzy to give much thought to his comment. I turn toward the band and watch the couples gliding around on the dance floor. “You said I need to have fun, and I want to dance.”

  He gives a laugh and stands, extending his hand. “Whatever the lady wants.”

  Once I’m out of my chair, I pull him onto the dance floor. It’s a fast song and I start moving to the beat. Rob watches me with an amused grin before joining in. We dance for two songs and I’m just getting warmed up when the band changes to a ballad.

  Rob stands still, lifting his eyebrows as if asking me what I want to do.

  I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around his neck. “I don’t want to sit down yet.”

  His arms wrap lightly around my back. “Whatever you want. It’s Lexi’s fun night out.”

  I laugh and sway to the music. About half of our group is dancing and the other half is at the table talking. Sylvia is dancing with a local guy in the crew, the same one who was paying her attention last night. I look up into Rob’s amused face. “What’s so funny?”

  “You. It’s like you’re a different person when I ply you with a bit of alcohol. Or maybe it’s that sexy black wig.” He lifts his fingers to caress a few strands of the wig. His gaze lands on my lips. “I like this Lexi.”

  He’s right. I do feel like a different person. More confident. I felt this way the previous evening but even more so tonight. Is it the alcohol or the wig? Maybe it’s both. “I like this Lexi too.”

  “Then we definitely need to let this Lexi out to play more.” His hands tighten at the small of my back, but it’s feels good…not threatening. We’re still loosely connected with only my linked hands on his neck and his at my back.

  We finish the song and another fast song plays. Rob leans into my ear. “I need another beer. Do you want another drink?”

  Safe, reliable Lexi would say no. But tonight I’m tired of being that way. If I’m ever going to get drunk, tonight is the night. “Sure.”

  He keeps his arm around my back as he walks me back to the table, then heads to the bar.

  Sylvia slides into the chair next to me, her eyes shining with happiness. “You look like you’re having fun.”

  “I am.” I try to remember the last time I had fun and come up short.

  “At the risk of sounding like your brother, I feel the need to say that you’re fast on your way to getting drunk. I have no problem with that, but I need you to tell me when you want me to cut you off. Okay? Tell me how far is too far.”

  Her words are sobering.

  “Lexi.” Her tone is direct, which startles me. “I’m not telling you to stop. I don’t want you to stop. I just want to know where that line is for you. I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and regret what you did.”

  I take a deep breath. “I don’t want to make a fool of myself.” My eyes widen. “Oh, God. I already have.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I dragged Rob onto the dance floor and made him dance with me.”

  “How the hell was that embarrassing? Trust me, that boy is loving every minute of it.” She grabs my hand. “Newsflash. Sometimes guys like it when we take charge. There’s nothing embarrassing about it. You’re a pretty girl, Lexi, and there’s nothing wrong with using your looks to attract a member of the opposite sex. And trust me, Rob is very interested.”

  “But he told me he wasn’t looking to get laid tonight.”

  “Well, I’m sure that was a hard thing for him to say, because that man wants you and he has a reputation for moving fast. But did he say he wasn’t looking to get laid tonight?”

  I nod.

  “I think tonight is the key word. He’s totally interested in you. I’ve known the guy for a while and I trust him. He may get around, but he’s not conniving. Tonight he seems more intent on getting you to let your hair down than anything.”

  I reach up to my head. “You mean my wig.”

  “Hair, wig. Whatever. He just wants the same thing I do. He wants you to enjoy yourself.” She drops her hold. “So, what’ll it be? What’s your
limit?”

  “If I do anything that will make me want to die of humiliation, you have to promise not only to cut me off, but to drag me out of the bar.”

  “Done.”

  “And don’t let me get so sloppy drunk I can’t walk.”

  She grins. “Call me crazy, Lex, but I seriously doubt you’d ever let yourself get that drunk.”

  I suspect she’s right.

  Rob is at the bar, flirting with the female bartender who was here last night. She glances in my direction and I hurriedly look away, which is when I see the other bartender, the guy, at the table full of rowdy women next to us. He sets a pitcher of what looks like strawberry daiquiris on the table just as the band starts to play “I Like Big Butts.” The women release a collective drunken squeal and rush for the dance floor, leaving one of their group behind. She’s slightly overweight, but her clothes make her look even more so. She’s not wearing makeup and her thin hair needs a good trim and style. I can’t help thinking that Caroline would love to get her hands on the poor woman and give her a makeover to show her how pretty she is, even if she doesn’t see it herself.

  The bartender sits in the empty chair next to her. She looks down at her lap and he leans into her ear and talks to her for several seconds before tilting his head toward the group of guys watching a basketball game in the corner. She shakes her head, but the bartender gives her a warm smile that lights up his face. He takes her hand and helps her up, then gives her a gentle push toward the dance floor.

  He stands in place for several moments, watching her with a worried expression before heading for the guys, stopping next to the chair of a guy who’s sitting quietly by himself. He looks close to the same age as the woman—early thirties. When he glances up, the bartender squats next to him and starts talking intently, gesturing toward the dance floor. The guy grins and nods, his face red, and then the bartender slips behind the bar, quickly pouring a glass of wine before he returns to the shy man. The guy hands him a napkin and the bartender moves over to the women’s table to place the napkin and the wine glass in front of the woman’s seat.

  Rob returns and I force myself to look away. Sylvia immediately hops out of his seat, grinning from ear to ear as she returns to the dance floor without another word.

  “What’s Sylvia so happy about?” Rob asks.

  “That I’m having fun.”

  He clicks his beer bottle into the glass in my hand. “Here’s to having fun.” He lifts the beer to his lips. I watch him drink, my gaze landing on his mouth, his neck. I watch his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallows. When he lowers the bottle it takes me several seconds to figure out that he’s watching me. “You’re making it really difficult to stick to my promise,” he murmurs.

  My eyes lift to his, and I’m surprised to see that his are dark with longing.

  I laugh before I can stop myself, and to my surprise, his expression fills with amusement. “You think that’s funny?”

  “You’re presuming I would agree to sleep with you and that’s never going to happen.”

  He holds his beer in front of his chest. “Is that a challenge, little Lexi?”

  My humiliation with Brandon comes rushing back. I shake my head, sobering. “No.”

  He senses the change in my mood and sets down his beer, leaning toward me so that his face is just inches away from mine. “I’m teasing. You have nothing to worry about.”

  I sigh and sit back in my chair, disappointed in myself for killing the jovial mood of the evening. Why do I have to spoil everything?

  He stands and grabs my hand, pulling me from my seat. This time he’s the one to guide me onto the dance floor. The band is playing a slow song and Rob pulls me closer this time, one hand on my lower back, the other pushing against my shoulder blades. I rest my cheek on his chest as we sway, letting myself enjoy the moment.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see the shy man and woman dancing together.

  So my earlier impression was right; the bartender played matchmaker.

  I’m not sure why this surprises me. He seemed somehow cynical the night before. But my gaze searches him out and I’m surprised to see him watching me again. My stomach jolts, but then I realize I’m standing next to the couple he set up. Way to be narcissistic, Lexi.

  I release a sigh and relax into Rob. I’m imagining things that aren’t there. I may feel a strange connection with him, but nothing will come of it. The chances of me ever coming back to this bar again are slim to none. I’ll never see him again. And even if I did, I have no desire of repeating the nightmare I experienced with Brandon. Better to keep things casual with a guy; better to spend time with someone like Rob. Someone who won’t make me want more.

  “Somebody really broke your heart, huh?” Rob whispers in my ear.

  I look up at him in surprise.

  “Not all men are total asses,” he says. A grin tugs at his lips. “We’re all partial asses, but not total.”

  I can’t help but smile. I need to relax and enjoy the moment. Rob only wants to have fun. I’m capable of that, despite myself.

  With my change in attitude, my mood lightens and we dance for several more songs, laughing and teasing each other. Within an hour, most of the group reluctantly calls it a night and I tell Rob I need to go too.

  “I’ll walk you to your car,” he says.

  Sylvia’s gaze narrows in question, and I nod before turning to Rob. “Thanks. That would be great.”

  He helps me put on my coat and takes my hand as we walk back toward the theater. “My car is parked in the next lot over,” I say, “behind the building.”

  We cut through an alley to the parking lot. My white Volvo is the only one left. I stop and search my purse for my keys then look up at Rob and cringe when the memory hits me. “I’m pretty sure I left my keys on the makeup station in the theater. Which is locked.” I sigh. “I can probably still catch Sylvia. I’m sure she’ll take me home.”

  “Why not go inside the theater and get them?” he asks.

  “Because the key I have for the theater is on the same key ring.”

  He digs his hand in his pocket and pulls out a key ring. “Good thing I’m here.” He leads me to the back of the theater and opens the door, ushering me inside. It’s dark except for the glow of a soft light from an open office door. We walk silently to the backstage area, where the makeup table is stationed. He spots my keys right away and picks them up. Sitting on the edge of the table, he places them in my open hand with a teasing grin. “Don’t lose these. We don’t want you to get stuck here.”

  “I didn’t see your car anywhere. Where is it?” I ask.

  “Parked on the street, a couple of blocks down.”

  “Then this is inconvenient for you.”

  He puts his hands on my waist, his touch gentle. “Nothing about tonight has been inconvenient,” he murmurs before lifting his hand to my neck, lightly tracing my jawline with his thumb.

  My breath catches. “Thank you for making me have fun.”

  “Making you have fun. That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard,” he says, but he’s grinning.

  I like being this close to him and I can’t help but wonder why. Of course he’s an attractive man, but so was Brandon. My lack of anxiety is liberating and all my nerve endings are pinging with awareness.

  His gaze drops to my lips. “I want to kiss you. That’s all, just kiss you. Is that okay?”

  I nod, surprised that I want him to.

  His mouth lifts to mine, and I close my eyes, taking in the sensation. Rob’s a great kisser and I soon find myself leaning against his chest, losing myself in the moment. If neither of us set any limitations, I would have considered letting this go further, which catches me off guard. When I made out with Brandon, I always felt a sense of anxiety, even when I was turned on. Right now I feel nothing but the desire to take this further.

  “What if I want more than a kiss?” I murmur against his lips.

  “This is your night, Lexi,” he murmurs b
ack. “You take the lead. We’ll do whatever you want.”

  His words are freeing, and I slip my hands inside his coat and slip it down his arms, letting it drop on the table. I run my palms over his shirt, feeling the muscles of his chest as I work my way up to his neck. Grabbing his cheeks, I hold him close as my tongue darts into his mouth.

  I wait for his hands to begin their own exploration, but they stay anchored on my waist. I pull back and look into his eyes.

  “I told you—you take the lead,” he says, his gaze full of longing.

  I let go of his face and grab his hands and push them down. He cups my ass and stays still, awaiting further instructions.

  I plant my palm on his lower abdomen and slowly slide it down, moving it over the button of his jeans until it reaches the bulge in his pants. I press the heel of my hand against it and begin to rub.

  A low moan rumbles in his chest. His hands slide down my thighs until his fingertips touch the bare skin of my legs. His hands grip the fabric of my dress, and he lifts it until his palms are pressing against my ass.

  I keep rubbing his erection through his jeans until he shifts, uncomfortable. I reach for his belt and zipper, quickly undoing both and spreading the top of his jeans open. I reach into the opening and into his underwear, readjusting him, stroking him again in the process. He groans and leans down to kiss me, his tongue twining with mine as his teeth nibble my lower lip.

  “What do you want me to do, Lexi?” he asks.

  I grab his hand and pull it in front of me, sliding it between my legs. He rubs me over my underwear and I’m glad I wore a decent pair.

  He brushes my hair behind my back and his mouth trails down my neck. We’re both panting with need.

  “How far do you want to take this?” he whispers.

  His words slow down my libido, but only slightly. I’m not a one-night-stand kind of girl. I’ve always been in a committed relationship before sleeping with someone—or attempting to. But I feel nothing but carnal need right now, no anxiety. No panic. I don’t want to question it. I just want to feel this.