“And which are you going for now?” I ask.
He picks up the wine glass and shoves it in my hand again. “If you’re going to talk smart, you might as well drink some wine to keep your mouth busy,” he says with a smirk to let me know he’s joking.
Narrowing my gaze, I say, “I can think of better things to keep my mouth busy.”
Ben leans forward and grabs the edge of the counter in front of the sink. “If you keep talking that way, I’m going to say fuck the dishes.”
“Maybe I want you to fuck something else.” I’m astounded by my boldness, but Ben brings out a confidence in me that I didn’t even know existed.
He stands up straight and spins around, then steps between my open legs and pulls my body flush against his. His erection is pressed firmly against my crotch.
His eyes darken as his mouth lowers to mine. “As I said, I aim to please.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lexi
Ben kisses me as though he’s a dying man and I’m his lifeline.
He scoops his arms under my butt and picks me up off the counter. His mouth lifts long enough to ask, “Where’s your room?” But then he’s plunging in again before I can answer, dragging me under a wave of lust.
When he comes up for air, I force out, “Down the hall. Second door on the left.” Then he’s kissing me again, but he’s on the move. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.
My bedroom door is open and I left the lamp on next to my bed. He unwraps my legs and slides me down the front of his body. “God, Alexa. Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
I smile up at him. “It’s probably somewhat similar to what you do to me.”
He grabs my face and kisses me with tenderness this time. “I want you to know this isn’t just sex to me. I want more with you.” He kisses me again, then lifts his face, a grin lighting up his eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, I want the sex, but if you told me you wanted to wait, even after last night, I’d do it.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to wait.” I grab the bottom of his shirt and pull it up. He tugs it over his head and drops it on the ground. I place my palms on his chest and slide my fingertips up to his shoulders. “About last night…” My voice trails off. “I’m not sure what you think of me after that.” I look up into his face. “But I want you to know that I don’t sleep around.”
His eyes soften. “Alexa. You don’t have to—”
“Yes,” I say firmly. “I do. I’ve had sex with four guys. One in high school and two other guys in college.” I take a deep breath. “And you.” Does it make me a liar that I didn’t include Todd in that list? I don’t care because I refuse to include him.
His hands slide up and down my arms. “Alexa. We both have experience. I didn’t expect you to be a virgin.” He grins. “Hell, I don’t want you to be a virgin.”
My fingertips glide across his chest, exploring. “That’s just it. I’ve had sex before, but I’m not that experienced.” I pause. “Contrary to what I may have insinuated with my actions last night.”
He doesn’t say anything for several seconds. “I don’t expect anything from you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I just want you to be you.”
“I just want you to know that I’m not usually like that.”
“Then I’m even happier that you felt safe doing it with me.” He hands reach for the buttons on my shirt and start to unfasten them from top to bottom. “I love this color on you. It makes your eyes even more beautiful, something I didn’t think was possible. All through dinner I couldn’t figure out whether to look at your eyes or your cleavage.”
My shirt hangs open, exposing my lacy navy blue bra. His fingertips slide from my cheek, down my neck, and to the valley between my breasts.
“It’s almost a shame to take this shirt off.” He grins as he slides it off my shoulders and down my arms. “Almost.”
I laugh softly, loving that he’s taking his time and that he’s taking charge. I’m shocked by how comfortable I feel.
He reaches for the button on my jeans and I close my eyes, reveling in the joy of having him undress me…and the fact that I’m actually enjoying it. He pulls down my zipper and slides the fabric over my hips until the jeans fall to my feet. I step out of them and reach for his, which I remove in a matter of seconds.
We’re both standing in my bedroom in our underwear, something I never even imagined would be possible without that damned wig. I trail my fingertips up to his face and across his lips and then stand on my tiptoes to give him a gentle kiss.
One of his hands lifts to the back of my head and the other wraps around my back. He’s holding me firmly against him, trapping my mouth against his, but I feel no anxiety, only electricity humming across my skin.
Desire rises up in me, making me hungry for more. My tongue becomes bolder as it explores his mouth, tempting his tongue to join mine.
His grip tightens as he groans, and then he’s pushing me down to the bed. He lies next to me and rolls me onto my side to face him. He tugs the straps of my bra from my shoulder and unfastens the hook in the back. After he tosses the lingerie to the side, he stares my breasts before meeting my eyes again. “God, Alexa. You’re so beautiful.”
I smile as his fingers skim across my chest, making me squirm as they outline my areola.
“Am I driving you crazy?”
“Yes.” My answer comes in a breathless rush.
“You drive me crazy even when you’re not with me.” Then his mouth finds my nipple and his arm wraps around my back, holding me in place. His other hand slides down my abdomen and inside the front of my panties.
I gasp and sink my hand into his hair, overwhelmed with sensation. I reach down to touch him through his underwear and rub the heel of my hand up and down his length.
Groaning, he rolls me onto my back and props himself on an elbow. He tugs my underwear down and I lift my hips to help. Then he pulls his own off and we’re both naked.
He’s still on his side when he presses his right palm on my abdomen. Anxiety prickles the back of my neck, but before I can begin to panic, his hand slides between my legs and finds the spot that makes me ache for more.
I roll onto my side and stretch my neck to kiss him, taking his erection in my hand and beginning to stroke.
A low rumble emits from his chest. “I want to be inside you.”
His words shoot a jolt of desire to my core.
Ben sits up and leans over to pick up his jeans. Within seconds, he’s holding a condom package and ripping it open. He quickly puts it on and spreads my legs apart.
The panic that floods my head catches me by surprise, but I recognize the reason why. “I want to be on top.”
He hesitates, then smiles. “Okay.” He drops to his side and rolls onto his back. I straddle his waist and lean over him to kiss him and then reposition myself and guide him to my entrance. As I lower myself on top of him, he releases a low groan and his pelvis rises so that he sinks deeper.
We begin to move, quickly becoming attuned to each other’s bodies, and soon I’m climbing. I need him deeper. He grabs my hips, pulling me down as he grinds into me.
Soon we’re both panting and I’m soaring higher, close to coming. When he gives another deep thrust, it pushes me over the edge. I cry out and he takes over, becoming more desperate in his thrusts until he releases a loud grunt and pulls my hips down, holding me on top of him. Seconds later he loosens his grip and pulls me onto my side, rolling with me, still inside me.
He touches his forehead to mine. “My God, Alexa. You are so perfect.”
I grin and kiss him. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
We lay still, staring into each other’s eyes. After a while, Ben releases a sigh. “I need to clean up. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay.”
He gets up and disappears around the corner and I realize we were lying sideways on the bed. I crawl to the top and pull the covers down, then slide inside an
d lie down, my head on the pillow.
He returns within seconds and crawls into bed next to me, taking me in his arms. His hand strokes my hair, fingering my curls.
“You’re really not curious about why I was wearing a wig at the bar?” I ask.
The corners of his mouth tip up. “I am and I’m not.”
“That’s not really an answer.”
“Yes, I wondered why you would hide your beautiful hair, but I was mostly curious about who you were.”
“The first two times were after the play. Caroline did my makeup and hair for my very small part and she put me in a wig. She thought it would be fun. I was kind of in a rut, so when I saw how different I looked, I liked it. But the real reason I wore it to the bar was because my hair would have been a disaster if I took the wig off. So I did it out of necessity.”
“Why did you tell me your name was Alexa?”
I shrug. “Honestly? It’s my real name for one, but I’ve never felt like an Alexa until you started calling me that. Lexi’s my nickname and what everyone except for my grandmother calls me. But the wig made me feel like someone else, more confident. Sexy.”
He groans. “God, Alexa. Do you really not feel sexy as you are?”
I shrug again. “I was in a dark place when I first wore it. It gave me the confidence to be brave and reach out of my comfort zone.”
“And the guy you were with the second night?”
There’s no accusation in his voice, but I’m still a bit uncomfortable. “He was a one-night fling. He was exactly what I needed to regain my confidence after my ex-boyfriend and I broke up before the start of winter break.”
“What guy would be stupid enough to break up with you?” He kisses me.
“I broke up with him.” I’m surprised that I actually want to tell him why we broke up, even if it opens a topic that he might not be able to handle. But when I look into his adoring eyes, I think he can. The real issue will be keeping him from boarding a plane and flying to New York to kick the shit out of Todd. But tonight is not the night. We need to share more intimacy, more passion and fun before I bring something so serious into the mix. But what’s amazing is that I actually want to tell him.
He releases an exaggerated sigh. “You broke up with him? That makes sense, but now I wish I hadn’t abandoned my sexy dishwashing act.”
I laugh, feeling happier than I have in longer than I can remember. “Well, there’s plenty of time for that.”
“Does that mean you’re going to keep me around for a while longer?”
“Are you kidding? At least until I see the show.”
He cocks an eyebrow and smirks. “All the more reason to keep putting it off. I’m already becoming quite attached to you, Alexa Pendergraft.”
My grin softens. “I think we need dessert.”
His grin turns wicked. “I thought we just had dessert.”
“Real dessert. I bought a cheesecake.”
“Oh, Alexa. If I were forced to pick between you and cheesecake, I would pick you every time.”
I sit up and look over my shoulder. “As virile as you are, I’m sure you need a few minutes to recover. I’m going to eat some cheesecake while you do.”
He sits up laughing and wraps his arms around my waist, pressing his chest to my back. His mouth finds my neck. “Is that a challenge? Did I mention that I like a challenge?”
I look over my shoulder at him, giggling. “Take it as a challenge if you must, but I still want cheesecake.”
His grin softens. “Then I’ll go get it. Stay where you are.”
I lean back on my elbows as he climbs out of bed. He stops and looks at me, his gaze darkening as he takes in my naked body. I can see from his growing erection that he’s already recovering.
“Are you sure you want cheesecake?”
I lower my eyelids. “If you get some for me, I’ll give you a dessert of your own.”
He grins. “I’ll be right back.” He heads out the door, completely naked.
“You’re not going to put on any clothes?” I call after him.
“Why bother when I’m going to take them off in a matter of minutes?”
True enough, he’s back within a couple of minutes with the entire cheesecake and a fork, along with a glass of water.
“The entire thing?” I ask with a laugh as he sits beside me.
“I want to make sure you’re satisfied.”
“Then I’ll definitely keep you around.”
He smiles and uses the fork to get the first bite.
“Where’s my fork?”
He shakes his head and lifts the fork to my mouth. I grin as I take a bite.
He scoops off his own piece. “I have to say, this was a good call.”
“Never doubt me.”
“I’m learning that.” He takes a bite, then scoops another for me. “What’s your favorite dessert?”
“Chocolate cake. You?”
“Boston Crème Pie.”
I laugh.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m from Boston.”
He leans over and kisses me, long and slow. “Go Boston.”
“Favorite food?” I ask.
“Fried chicken. You?”
“Lasagna.”
“Favorite drink?” he asks.
“Diet Coke.”
“Diet Coke?” he snorts. “That’s not a real drink.”
“It most certainly is. What’s yours?”
He curls his lip as if I’ve insulted him. “Lemonade.” He lifts an eyebrow. “Homemade.”
“Favorite vegetable?”
He takes a bite. “French fries.”
“French fries are not a vegetable.”
He drops his fork, his eyes widening in disbelief. “Um, hello. It’s a potato, aka a vegetable.”
“There is little to no nutritional value in French fries.”
He pierces another piece and holds it to my lips. “You never said it had to have nutritional value. Only that it had to be a vegetable.”
A grin spreads across my face as I take a bite. I know it’s a goofy grin by the way it stretches my face, but I don’t care.
He smiles back. “Why are you smiling like that?”
At the risk of looking like an idiot, I decide to tell him the truth. “I’m just so happy. I can’t think of the last time I felt like this.”
Ben puts the cheesecake on the nightstand, then rolls over to me and pushes me down on the bed, kissing me until I’m desperate for more. We take our time, exploring each other and what we like, and when we finish—me on top again—I lie on my pillow, exhausted.
“You wear me out, Ben Masterson.”
He leans over me, propped on his elbow. “Consider me your personal trainer.”
I close my eyes and grin. “So we have to wait until next Monday night to do this again?”
He tucks several strands of hair behind my ear. “Unless you come see me or I come see you after I get off work at two a.m.”
My eyes fly open. “How do you keep going? You should be catching up on your sleep right now. And you should definitely get sleep after work instead of fooling around with me.”
“What if I’d rather fool around with you?”
I shake my head. “Priorities.”
He grins. “Exactly.”
“You only have to work three jobs until you graduate right?”
He sighs. “Yeah. It sucks.”
“I’m working with the chancellor on the charity’s summer program. He actually likes me. I can put a good word in for you, see if he’ll reinstate your scholarship retroactively.”
His eyes fly open wide. “No. Don’t do that.”
Why is he acting so weird? “It’s really not a problem, Ben.”
He kissed me. “I appreciate the thought Alexa, really I do. But I don’t want you talking to him on my behalf. It’s emasculating.”
I’m not sure how I know, but he’s not telling me the full truth. I can’t get angry, though…t
hat makes two of us. “Okay. I won’t say anything.”
“Thanks.”
“I know you’re upset about losing your scholarship, but at least you got seven paid semesters you wouldn’t have had otherwise, right? I know several students who are thousands of dollars in debt from student loans. Caroline’s one of them. You only have this semester to worry about.”
A slow grin of wonder spreads across his face. “I need you around Alexa Pendergraft.”
My eyebrows furrow in confusion. This is the second time he’s said that.
“You make me look at things differently. I’ve been so pissed about having my scholarship pulled that I haven’t let myself feel grateful for everything that I do have. You put things in perspective.”
I watch him to see if he’s mocking me.
“I mean it.” He strokes my cheek. “At the risk of scaring you off, I feel the need to tell you something.”
I take a breath and release it, suddenly nervous. “Okay.”
He turns my hand and traces a lazy pattern on my palm with his fingertip. “I’ve been in a dark place for a couple of months, but since you burst into my life, all that darkness has been fading away.”
“You mean like a depression?”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” He shrugs. “More like feeling sorry for myself, since I lost my scholarship for reasons beyond my control. I’m more like Reed than I care to admit.” He holds up his hands when I stiffen. “Hear me out.”
I press my lips together.
“I’ve been holding a grudge, a bad attitude, whatever you want to call it for months. And truth be told, the people close to me have paid the price.” He pauses. “But you’ve made me realize how selfish that attitude is.”
My shoulders stiffen. “I come across as preachy, don’t I?”
“No!” He shakes his head. “For the first time in a long time, I don’t want to be the type of person who holds grudges. I want to be free of all that baggage. I want to be happy. And it’s because of you.”
“But you hardly know me.”
“God, Alexa, I know you better than you think.” He places his hand on the side of my face, tipping it up to look into my eyes. “You have this fire for living that so few people have. You throw your entire self into the things you care about, whether it’s the charity’s summer program or the relationship between your brother and his fiancée. There’s a sweetness about you that’s one hundred percent genuine. You deserve a man who is worthy of being with you. And as much as I hate to admit it, I’m so not that man. I know it deep in my gut, but I can’t help myself. I want you. So I’m trying my best to be the kind of guy who deserves you.”
Business as Usual (Off The Subject) Page 22