Mindline

by M. C. A. Hogarth

  /From your thoughts to the Goddess's mind,/ Vasiht'h whispered, then said aloud, "Well, girls... are you ready for an adventure?"

  "Me and my dragon army are always ready for an adventure!" Persy declared.

  "Do we get to leave?" Kuriel asked.

  "We do," Jahir replied.

  "Then I'm even more ready than Persy."

  "Let's go to it, then." Vasiht'h held out a hand and Kuriel took it, leaving Persy and Amaranth to follow Jahir. Berquist joined them outside and they all made their way to the lift, and from there to the lobby. How strange it was to realize that when he'd first come to All Children's he'd avoided the lifts for fear of touching strangers. The possibility still disturbed him, but he no longer allowed it to deter him either.

  The gasps of their charges when they reached the world outside the hospital, and the blue summer sky and the warm air redolent of a spring nearing summer's marge... that was worth every effort.

  "Why don't we walk this way?" Berquist said, pointing toward a field dotted with trees.

  "Do you think we could climb a tree?" Persy asked, eyes shining.

  "I don't even know if I can walk far enough to get to one of those trees," Kuriel muttered.

  Vasiht'h snorted. "That's why you brought me along, right?" He patted his withers. "Free ride."

  Kuriel stared at his back, then started giggling. "Okay. I will sit on you if I get tired."

  They set off at an easy pace, letting the children explore at their leisure. Jahir followed Berquist's lead, and she seemed in no hurry.

  /I could get used to this,/ Vasiht'h murmured, the sending dense with pleasure.

  /We have been fortunate,/ Jahir said. /In so many ways. But in this way in particular... that we ran into these children, when we might never have met them./

  /Or one another. I know./ Vasiht'h inhaled, nose lifted, and chuckled. /As the Goddess willed it./

  Jahir smiled and ambled after Amaranth.

  "Getting tired yet, girls?" Berquist was asking, and for her pains received a chorus of 'no's despite the flagging energy of her wards. "All right. Just a bit longer. Why don't you go sit on that bench for a minute, get your breath back?"

  Amaranth said, serious, "Miss Jill, that bench is taken already. I see people sitting on it."

  "I'm sure they'll make room," Berquist said, indulgent.

  Amaranth eyed her as the other two girls padded past, then went with them. Jahir drew up alongside the healer-assist and said, "I believe good Amaranth is suspicious of you, alet."

  "She would be." Berquist grinned. "You sure that psychic thing isn't wearing off on them?"

  "If it is, what's about to happen isn't going to be any surprise," Vasiht'h said.

  They all paused, waiting. The girls got to the bench and saw who was waiting for them there. The squeals were loud enough to be heard across the distance.

  "Guess not," Vasiht'h said, grinning.

  Kuriel took advantage of Vasiht'h's offer on the way back, sitting astride him and resting her head on the back of his humanoid shoulders. She was heavy, but not much more than a few saddlebags full of books, so he made no complaint. Amaranth walked at Jill's side, but Persy looked up at Jahir and lifted her arms in mute appeal. Vasiht'h paused, about to say something, and stopped as the Eldritch lifted her up. The girl wrapped her arms around his neck and curled her legs around his waist, and the mindline brought a doubled impression, of the warmth and fragility of her body, and of her emotions: happiness, safety, exhaustion.

  /All right?/ Vasiht'h asked, tentative.

  /I am fine./ Jahir glanced at him and added, /And I thank you for your suggestion about the pool. You were right, and it has helped./

  /You're welcome./

  Back in the girls' room, they helped Jill tuck the children into bed, and to an instant sleep. Jill ushered them out and closed the door with satisfaction. "Now that was a good day. One of the best days they've had in a long time."

  "We're glad we got to be a part of it," Vasiht'h said.

  She smiled. "It wouldn't have been the same without the two of you. Which reminds me..." She eyed Vasiht'h. "Your residency year's coming up. When can I make my appointment?"

  "I'm... sorry?" Vasiht'h said, ear feathers sagging. "Your appointment?"

  "My appointment," she repeated. "The one I've been trying to make since you started doing research here! And you kept telling me that research psychotherapy wasn't going to prepare you to be a licensed therapist. Well, you've changed tracks, right? Which means you need to do a residency year. If you're doing it here, I want my appointment. And I want it before anyone else gets in!"

  "Anyone... else?" Vasiht'h said weakly. He thought he found this funny—no, that was Jahir's amusement, leaking through the mindline.

  "Oh yes." Jill sat on her stool and took up her cup of tepid coffee. "Everyone you did research on before can't wait to sign up. That's how I heard about it, actually. One of the students who's been seeing you in the student clinic came in to General next door with a broken leg and was talking about seeing the two of you, and it got to Healer Frendis—do you remember him? Maybe not. He was in one of your studies, anyway. Frendis told someone who told someone else and... you probably know how that works around here by now. Anyway, the short of it is, they're all speculating on whether you're going to be here for your residencies. I'm not. I want to make sure that if you are, I'm first this time." She folded her arms. "So consider yourself warned."

  "I... yes. Of course." Vasiht'h said. "The moment we make our decision."

  "Good."

  Outside the hospital, Vasiht'h said, exasperated, "Oh, just let it out before you sprain a rib."

  "You cannot sprain a bone, arii," Jahir said, somber... but his eyes were dancing. "So are we staying here for our residency?"

  "We don't even know if we're going to pass our practicum!"

  Jahir folded his arms behind his back and said nothing, strolling alongside with no evidence of concern.

  "If we do—" Vasiht'h stopped, then eyed him. "You want to stay?"

  The merriment in the mindline softened to something more serious. Still happy, but pensive. "Leaving was the wrong thing to do before," Jahir said.

  "Right," Vasiht'h said. Staying did feel right. For now.

  Chapter 34

  The semester brought final exams. They immersed themselves in last minute studies, and Ravanelle did not summon them back, not to continue her therapy, not to discuss their grade. Vasiht'h's agitation was so extreme Jahir did not think there was a recipe in the world that could have diffused it, so he did not suggest any. Instead, he took his roommate for walks long enough to tire even four legs used to Anseahla's greater gravity, and blessed the school's swimming pool for developing the stamina he needed to accompany his roommate.

  But the semester did end, and brought with it their grades, and Jahir knew as he entered their apartment that something was wrong because the spike of rage that slammed into him was so concrete he steadied himself on the wall to keep from staggering. That there was no blood involved was a shock.

  Vasiht'h appeared from the door into the bedroom, radiating his anger. "She gave us an Incomplete."

  "I beg your pardon?" Jahir said, trying to think past his roommate's wrath. He hadn't known Vasiht'h was capable of such anger... not here, not absent some life or death situation like what they'd fought on Selnor. "An Incomplete? What does that signify? I've never been awarded one."

  "It means we didn't finish the coursework to her satisfaction," Vasiht'h growled. "And to make it worse, she wants to see us about it." He lifted his data tablet, pointing at it. "We have an appointment. Today."

  "Then... I am glad I have not taken off my boots?" Jahir said.

  "How can you be so calm?" Vasiht'h stared at him. "She's holding our academic careers hostage!"

  "I think I am calm because you are angry enough for us both," Jahir said. "And it is bidding fair to give me a headache. Arii, she is not holding our career hostage. There must be an
appeals process, and if it fails we try again next semester. Healer Ravanelle is not the only professor overseeing the practicum."

  Vasiht'h folded his arms. "This isn't another of your 'I just have to live with it' responses, like you had with Sheldan, is it? Because he was out of line, and Ravanelle is out of line, and you'd better believe we'll file a petition. We'll petition the living thoughts out of this. And then beat it for good measure."

  The hyperbole was so ridiculous that Jahir paused, waiting for the Glaseah to admit to it. A resignation filtered into the mindline, feeling like an old rag to the touch. He wondered at the association but chose to say, "Are you calm enough now to see her?"

  "No," Vasiht'h said with a lopsided grin that had absolutely no humor behind it. "But you're calm enough for us both."

  It wasn't a lie precisely, Vasiht'h thought as Jahir opened the clinic door. The Eldritch was calm enough for them both, and it helped make him willing to suffer through this meeting. But the Glaseah was also puzzled, and that was damping his anger now that he was thinking things through. The grade made no sense, and the meeting even less so. Why call for them if she'd already made her decision? More importantly, why wait to call for them until it was too late? He sighed as Jahir chimed for entrance to Ravanelle's office, and reminded himself that if it was too late there was no point yelling at her about it.

  Then again, there was no reason not to, since it couldn't prejudice her against them anymore than she already was, apparently.

  Without looking down at him, Jahir said, /Let us not close doors without cause./

  /Even if slamming them is fun?/

  The corner of Jahir's mouth twitched.

  /Even if there is just cause?/

  /Arii.../

  /Fine, I'll be good./

  /Next time you tell me you are passionless, arii, I shall present you with the memory of this day./

  Vasiht'h snorted. /Being angry at Ravanelle is small business, compared to loving you./

  Jahir glanced at him, wide-eyed, and then the door opened for them, revealing the Seersa rising from behind her desk. "Aletsen. Come in, please."

  And here Jahir had been worried about him fighting to hide his anger. Vasiht'h was too busy being smug at how completely he'd shocked his roommate with a revelation that really shouldn't have been such a surprise. Being a thousand million years old didn't make someone omniscient, it seemed. Sitting in front of the desk, Vasiht'h wrapped his tail over his feet and resettled his wings, listening to Jahir take the seat alongside.

  "Congratulations," Ravanelle said, putting a data tablet on their side of her desk. "On your passing the practicum this semester."

  Amazing how quickly his smug satisfaction could shatter in the face of the knowledge that he could be caught just as flat-footed. Vasiht'h said, "W-what? But we had..."

  "An Incomplete, yes," she said, nodding. "Because having you here was my way of making sure of things." She grinned. "Unlike the two of you, I don't read minds. Have to rely on my far more primitive gut instincts."

  They didn't exchange glances, but it felt like they had. Vasiht'h yielded the conversational floor to Jahir, who said, "Perhaps not so primitive, as your conclusions have escaped me. May I ask how we were tested, and what conclusions you drew from our reactions?"

  "You may," Ravanelle said, leaning back in her chair. "And really, the whole semester's been the test. That's how it's supposed to work, of course, but I had to find other ways of evaluating the two of you, since I couldn't directly observe your methods. That was true, what I told you. Your evaluations were glowing—I've rarely seen such unqualified praise from the patients who come here—so there was that. When I canceled your appointments prior to the break—"

  /I knew it! I knew she'd done it on purpose!/

  "—it fascinated me that none of your clients were willing to switch to other therapists that week. And in fact, if I pieced together stray comments here and there correctly, they went looking for you, didn't they." She lifted a brow.

  Vasiht'h cleared his throat and said, "They were just visiting."

  She guffawed. "'Just visiting.' Sure. Be honest, alet. I'm not going to penalize you if the answer is—"

  "Yes," Jahir said.

  "Right." She continued, "So there was that. I also wanted to assess your reaction to the schedule change, not just theirs and, yes, you reacted much as I expected."

  "Which was..." Vasiht'h said, wary.

  "To help them, because they asked," Ravanelle said. "Not that I want to reward rule-breakers, but you're already breaking rules with how you're doing all this, so I'm willing to pay out the line a little. But having done that and seen that your patients came back to you, I started wondering if it was something you put in their heads. Which is when I asked for you to work on me."

  "And when we found out that we were your problem," Vasiht'h began.

  "...and told me about it instead of fixing it," Ravanelle said, nodding. "That was encouraging. But I couldn't be sure of it unless I could be sure that you hadn't. That you weren't just saying that. So I canceled the remainder of my appointments and waited to see if my anxieties resolved themselves magically."

  "But if they did not, then why did you pass us?" Jahir asked, bemused.

  "Because I didn't," she said. "Until you walked into this door and I had a good look at your faces, and realized you're still a thorn in my side and I'm still irritated at you both for giving me no clear way to decide whether what you're doing is safe or good or not." She chuckled. "You didn't manipulate me. So I changed your grades while you were making faces at one another."

  /At least that pause was good for something,/ Jahir murmured.

  Vasiht'h hid his smirk.

  "Do you really believe us a danger?" Jahir asked, quieter.

  Ravanelle hesitated, playing with her stylus. Then she set it down. "I tell you something, aletsen. You had three sessions with me, and... they were..." She frowned, looking away. "They were interesting." Shaking her head, she said, "No, that's not fair. They were sublime. Very peaceful. I felt... like someone was very focused on my welfare, and cared very much about not just me, but other people. Which is very much in line with your evaluations from the students. That girl who never spoke wrote that she could sense the bond between the two of you, and that assured her that there was love in the universe." The Seersa grimaced. "Which sounds like some honeyed greeting card verse. But she really believed it, and I went into those sessions skeptical of what I was going to find, and I felt it too." She sighed. "No, aletsen. I don't believe you're a danger. But the truth is I don't know how to teach you. I don't know how to critique you. And I don't even know how you accomplish anything. That makes me very uncomfortable as an educator... and I'm afraid I was glad to terminate those sessions, because I didn't really want to develop any deeper feelings about you both. So if I have any teaching to do, here it is." She pointed her stylus at them. "What you do is an intimacy even more profound than most therapy. You need to figure out how to disengage clients who become too engaged."

  /She is not telling us.../

  /A repeat of what I've told you before? That people like to fall in love with you?/ Vasiht'h tried not to laugh.

  /I believe she is talking about us, arii. Not just me!/

  /You keep believing that./ More soberly. /But her point about codependency is a good one. Say so./

  /And you cannot because...?/

  /I am too busy trying to keep a straight face, thinking of all the lovelorn men and women who are going to be collapsing in your wake./

  "Thank you for the warning," Jahir said. "It is a good one. We will put serious thought into the matter."

  "And thank you for passing us, despite us being the thorn in your side," Vasiht'h added.

  "Yes, well. Get out of here," Ravanelle said. "And don't come back."

  "Until next semester at least," Vasiht'h said, getting to his feet. "For the second session."

  "You won't be here," Ravanelle said. "I'm recommending they a
dvance you to your residency. Another practicum like this would be wasted; you need to be out there, flying under your own power. It's pretty evident to me you're going to be writing your own manual on this technique, aletsen. The sooner you start getting the experience in, the better."

  From an Incomplete to being skipped forward a semester? Vasiht'h eyed Ravanelle, wondering if he detected a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

  "We will do our best," Jahir said. "Good afternoon, Healer."

  "Good luck, aletsen."

  Outside the clinic, Vasiht'h stared at the brilliance of the sky and said, "Well. I think this calls for some gelato." He started trotting down the sidewalk and paused when Jahir didn't fall in alongside. "Or... maybe you want lunch instead?"

  Quiet, Jahir said, "In sooth? You love me."

  Vasiht'h shook his head. "Do you even have to ask?"

  A long pause, and the mindline soaked it, like deep water and all the mysteries under it, and the currents that moved it. Jahir walked forward to join him, paced him. And after a moment said, "You know it is returned."

  "I know," Vasiht'h said. And smiled, letting that settle between them before he said, "So lunch, or ice cream?"

  "Ice cream," Jahir said, grave. "Always."

  Epilogue

  Is this the place?" Vasiht'h asked. "The memory is hazy for me."

  This is it," Jahir said, and the quiet of the moment filled the mindline, twining with the shimmer of the sun on grasses bent by summer's breezes. He knelt there on the hilltop and spread his fingers through the grass until he could feel the earth, and even it was warm, radiating up through his palm. He sighed and closed his eyes. "Here."

  Vasiht'h turned his face outward toward the source of the breeze, eyes narrowed against the glare.

  Do you feel her?"

  Vasiht'h hesitated, then said, "Only in the memory of her blowing away on the wind here. I feel her... in that she's everywhere now. How the Goddess is. Everywhere, because Presence is everywhere. That puts her here," touching his breastbone, "as much as it puts her anywhere in the world."