My Fairly Dangerous Godmother

by Janette Rallison

  Both Kailen and the queen watched Jason, curiosity pinned to their expressions. I stepped toward the side of table, putting myself in a better position to take the goblet.

  Jason held his hand toward the queen, imploringly. “Yeah, you saw in me, what no one could conceive.”

  “He does have a lovely voice,” Queen Orlaith commented to Kailen. “One wonders where mortals find such gifts.”

  I could have given her the rundown I’d heard on the boat ride over, but I spared her the details of Jason and all the work his butt did.

  Hand trembling, I reached across the table. I didn’t breathe for fear it would draw attention. Kailen and Queen Orlaith were still looking at Jason. I leaned into the task. Almost there. As my fingers closed around the stem, the goblet moved, lifted slightly off the table.

  At the same time, I caught a scent of Jason’s boat. No, not the boat—the lake. I smelled the watery odor of something lake drenched. Donovan. He was near, trying to steal the goblet out of my hand.

  I tightened my grip. Donovan was stronger, but I had a better hold. We struggled over the cup, each pulling, lifting it farther off the table. For two seconds, we were at a stalemate. Then the goblet tipped, spilling the last few drops of elixir onto Queen Orlaith’s arm.

  Immediately, I let go and straightened up. Just as I did, the queen’s head spun around. Fortunately, her gaze went to the goblet, not me. She saw it hanging suspended in the air, and raised her wand, a swift automatic action that put Donovan in her line of fire. He must not have liked his chances. The goblet clattered to the table.

  Jason kept singing, but Queen Orlaith no longer paid attention to him. She grabbed the goblet and sprung to her feet, wand outstretched. “What mischief is this?” Her gaze darted around the table, then scanned the pavilion. “My cup floated off the table.”

  Kailen drew his sword with one hand and his wand with the other. He waved his wand and a shaft of light leapt from the wand’s tip, arching over the dance floor in a long white rainbow.

  The light sizzled and bits of glitter fell through the air, burning like embers. Several of the princesses took note of them, smiling like they were a new party favor the queen had added to the unusual song.

  The glitter must not have hurt. No one flinched as pieces landed on their shoulders. At least they didn’t flinch any more than the song was already making them flinch. Jason turned in the dancers’ direction, aiming the song at them, full force. Instead of gracefully gliding around the room, the couples were off beat, taking unsure steps, and laughing at their own efforts.

  The glitter falling near Kailen and Queen Orlaith turned black, became pieces of ash that gathered around their feet. Some of the glitter fluttering behind them turned dark as well. I watched a column drift closer to the table. By the time Kailen turned to check behind him, it was indistinguishable from the black glitter around him.

  He turned back to the dance floor and lowered his wand. “No magic has crept in, save the magic here at our table.” He kept scanning the pavilion though, searching.

  So that’s what the glitter was—a litmus test for magic. The dark column behind the table had marked Donovan’s cloak. He had moved between Kailen and Queen Orlaith so they wouldn’t notice him.

  The queen turned to her son, her lips pulled into a tight, thin line. “True enough, as my wards keep away all magic folk but us. So I’ll ask you why you attempted to take my cup.”

  “Me?” Kailen’s head snapped back. “I never touched it.”

  Part of me wanted to point to Donovan and turn him over to Queen Orlaith to get rid of my competition. I didn’t, though. She would undoubtedly do something horrible to him, and he didn’t deserve that. Besides, he had kept me from falling down the stairs. Now we were even.

  Queen Orlaith’s dark eyes were still trained on her son. “You told me to use the cup to ask of Titania. And lo, minutes later, the goblet levitated off the table.”

  A flush of angry color spotted Kailen’s cheeks. “If the cup did, indeed, levitate, it wasn’t my doing.”

  Queen Orlaith sat down, stiffly imperial. She placed the goblet in front of her. “If? You doubt what I saw?”

  He shoved his sword back into his scabbard. “It is inevitable that at times, even queens are mistaken.” His words had too much emphasis. Apparently he thought she was mistaken about more than the cup.

  If Queen Orlaith was in a bad mood before, she was doubly so now. Her eyes practically glittered with anger. “Then you won’t object when I place a spell on the goblet.” Before Kailen could comment, she touched her wand to its rim. “Until I speak otherwise, only a woman’s hand shall move the cup. It will be slippery unto all others.”

  She firmly placed the goblet into the middle of the box, tapped the table with her wand, and the box pieces reconfigured themselves into the right shape.

  Kailen’s jaw clamped tight. “You insult me, Mother. I leave you to your dancers and your foolishness.”

  He turned and strode into the trees behind the thrones with long fast strides. A moment later, a raven took to the air and sped through the night sky.

  The queen couldn’t have heard the flutter of wings over Jason’s music. Still, she slumped in her chair. Was she sorry or relieved?

  Jason finished off the song with a long-drawn out “Ohhh-ohhh-ohhh” that would have made modern girls swoon. The princes and princesses, however, only clapped halfheartedly.

  Jason nodded, a smile plastered on his face, and held up a hand to acknowledge their applause. I could tell he was miffed at the lack of appreciation. “That song has been in the Top 40 for thirty weeks straight,” he announced, as though that might change its reception.

  “Let’s have another waltz,” one of the princes called.

  The queen wordlessly swished her wand and a slow, lilting melody filled the area. “The two of you should also dance.” The queen gave us one bare glance. “Before long the night will be spent. Enjoy each other’s company ere then.”

  We followed her orders, although I can’t say I enjoyed Jason’s company much. He led me out on the floor and grudgingly pulled me into position. As soon as we danced our way out of earshot from the other couples, he said, “Just tell me this: How hard is it to pick up a glass without flinging its contents all over the place?”

  “It wasn’t my fault. Donovan grabbed the goblet at the same time I did.”

  “Donovan?”

  “The invisible guy.”

  Jason tilted his chin down. “Okay, let me get this straight. An invisible guy kept you from taking the cup?”

  I could prove I was telling the truth. I could show him what happened when I lied. I didn’t do it. Jason thought this night was part of some reality show. If random body parts of mine started to inexplicably grow, I was pretty sure Jason would freak out and scream things like, “Gross! What is wrong with you?”

  I didn’t need a freaked-out celebrity to worry about right now, and I didn’t want everyone to know I couldn’t lie without having a Pinocchio experience.

  “The night’s not a total loss,” I said. “Thanks to the queen’s new spell, only women can hold the goblet now. That means Donovan can’t steal it. We’ll just have to find a way to distract the queen tomorrow so I can take it.”

  While I tried to think of a new distraction, Jason looked upward and made whiny-coughing noises. “I can’t stay in Briardrake for another day. Where’s my manager? Seriously. I need to talk with him.”

  I rolled my eyes. “How bad can you have it? You’re a prince living in a castle.”

  “The place has no plumbing, no internet, and do you know what the thermostat in my room is? A pile of logs by the fireplace.”

  “Pretend it’s camping—except you’ve got better food and servants at your beck and call.”

  “I don’t like camping.” Jason’s hand moved on my shoulder. I thought it was one of those dance cues that signaled he wanted to switch directions. He didn’t move that way though, so I stumbled and knocked int
o him.

  He made more coughing noises.

  “Sorry,” I said. “It’s hard to dance and think.”

  “Yeah, I bet it’s hard for you to walk and chew gum too.”

  Which was really too much. I stepped on his foot on purpose. “Oops,” I said sweetly. “Clumsy again.”

  That’s pretty much how we spent the next two hours. I was so over Jason. Why had I ever thought I wanted him to love me? He wasn’t the soulful, understanding person I’d imagined when I sang songs to his posters. He was vain, egotistical, and had no patience for anyone.

  In fact, it may not have actually registered in his mind that other people existed. If he’d paid more attention to Kailen or Queen Orlaith, he would have noticed their magic. Instead, Jason was too busy wondering where the show’s cameras were hidden so he could be sure they got his good side.

  I absolutely couldn’t be stuck here forever with him.

  Chapter 16

  As the night progressed, some of the couples stole off into the darkness, walking hand in hand through the grounds around the pavilion. Jason and I never did. Although he did take several breaks to go to the refreshment tables. At four in the morning, the music finally ended and the queen thanked us for coming.

  As we walked en masse down the path toward the lake, I didn’t speak to Jason. I climbed into our boat, folded my arms, and waited for him.

  The other princesses seemed as energetic as when they started the ball. I was tired and my feet hurt. My slippers were not only worn through at the edges, the bottoms were dirty from trudging around the forest earlier. Anyone who saw them would know we’d left the castle. No wonder our slippers bothered the king so much.

  Once again, Jason struggled to push the boat into the water. I supposed that meant Donovan was stowing away in our boat again. That was what happened in the fairy tale. Although after I’d pushed Donovan overboard, I’d assumed he would choose one of the other boats for the return trip.

  Around us, the princes pushed their boats into the water, picked up their oars, and rowed with long practiced strokes. “Last yet again!” one called to Jason.

  Another yelled, “Don’t blame Jason. His boat is sentimental. It’s attached to the ground.”

  All the other princes laughed at that.

  I slumped in my seat and then straightened when my corset bit into my ribs. The clothing here didn’t allow for slumping. I wished I could take the thing off, curl up on the seat, and go to sleep. Or cry. Maybe both.

  Jason gave one last concerted push and detached the boat from the shore. He sloshed a few steps through the water and heaved himself into the boat. With a few muffled complaints, he dropped down on the bench across from mine and dug the oars into the water. His stamina wasn’t nearly what it had been on the way here. The other boats quickly pulled ahead of us.

  “You’ve grown weak!” One of the princes yelled to him. “That’s what comes of singing much and working little!”

  Jason strained against the oars. “Sadie just weighs more than your passengers!”

  “Thanks,” I said. “Thanks a lot.”

  Jason glanced at me and pulled harder. “Seriously. How much do you weigh?”

  This is not something a guy should ever ask a girl, especially one he is supposedly in love with. I folded my arms tighter. “I weigh as much as I’m supposed to. Maybe the other princes are right and you’re just not that strong.”

  Jason let out a grunt, either due to effort or disbelief. “I have my own gym and a personal trainer.” He then went on to tell me how he worked his butt off every day exercising.

  I nearly told him his butt was extremely talented since it could lift weights and play music, but I didn’t bother. Were all celebrities this shallow? I didn’t like the thought. I wanted to be more than just my talent.

  We were silent most of the way across the lake. By then the other boats had long outpaced us. They’d already landed at the shore, and the princes and princesses had disembarked. The couples were saying their goodbyes, their silhouettes bending together to steal kisses.

  I leaned around Jason to see the shore better. “I wonder if the other princesses will wait for me.” As I watched, they headed to the lantern post and then continued up the trail. “Nope,” I muttered. “I guess not.” I let out a sigh and hoped there weren’t places in the trail where I could get lost.

  The princes climbed back into their boats and set off, rowing to the left side of the lake. Their portal back home must have been somewhere over there. Several called out to us.

  “Perhaps you’d be faster if Sadie rowed!”

  “Jason needs to harness snails to pull him!”

  I leaned around Jason again and watched the princesses’ lanterns trailing off into the forest. “Is this as fast as you can go?”

  Jason panted and dipped the oars into the lake again. “Until someone else rows, yes.”

  Behind me, Donovan whispered, “He probably couldn’t row and chew gum at the same time.”

  Great. Not only was Donovan weighing down the boat so that I lagged behind the people who knew the way home, but he’d also eavesdropped on Jason and me at the ball. Had he listened to all of Jason’s complaints?

  I didn’t like the thought. It made me feel like a scolded child.

  Donovan’s voice came in my ear again. “By the way, that dancing wish of yours was obviously magic well spent.”

  Dealing with Jason had drained my patience. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with Donovan too. “Aren’t you worried I’ll push you off the boat?”

  I thought I said the words quietly, but Jason cocked his head. “Why would you do that?”

  Into my ear, Donovan whispered, “Because he’s a dufus. Go ahead. Push him over.”

  I smiled at Jason apologetically. “I wasn’t talking to you. Donovan is on the boat with us.”

  Jason stared at me blankly.

  “Donovan. You know, the invisible guy I told you about.”

  Jason gave the oars a yank. “So now you’re talking to your imaginary friend?”

  “He’s not imaginary. He’s invisible. There’s a difference.” I automatically gestured to the back of the boat where Donovan sat, then realized it was a pointless gesture. “Donovan, introduce yourself.”

  He remained silent.

  Jason pressed his lips together. “Okay . . .” He glanced at the shore longingly.

  “Real mature,” I told Donovan. “Make me look like the crazy girl who talks to imaginary people.”

  The last of the princes headed away from us. “Ho! Are you waiting for the tide to take you in? Hurry or it will be noon before you reach home.”

  Jason pulled the oars harder and yelled back, “Whatever. I’ll beat your sorry—” Then he added the name of the body part he’d worked off so often.

  I leaned back and my shoulders hit Donovan’s knees. It was one more item on my list of aggravations. He’d kept me from getting the goblet, made me late to shore, mocked my wishes, and now I couldn’t even get comfortable in my own boat. I turned to him and hissed, “Why do you have to keep making everything harder? I really ought to shove you out of the boat again.”

  “Don’t try it,” he whispered. “I’m prepared this time.”

  It was as good as a challenge, and I was already frustrated, angry and irrational. In one quick move, I lunged toward him, arms stretched.

  As it turned out, I should have controlled my temper, or at least believed Donovan when he told me I wouldn’t get away with pushing him out of the boat again. My hands made contact with his chest. As he fell backward, he grabbed hold of my arms. If he went over, he was taking me with him. I gasped in alarm and fought his pull. My legs flailed against the bench in an attempt to find something to hold onto.

  This was another disadvantage to silk slippers. It’s hard to grab onto a bench with your feet while wearing them. In the end, my feet lost the battle. I flew over the side of the boat and into the lake. The water hit me with a slap, then embraced me with a col
d, heavy grip. I plunged downward, into the darkness. I wanted to scream but had to hold my breath.

  The weight of my cloak and gown pulled me deeper. I yanked off the cloak and let it sink. I couldn’t undo my skirt. I struggled with the lacings, still sinking, then gave up on that. I lifted up the edge of my skirt and pulled my slip off. It fell away like a giant dying jelly fish. The bum roll came off next, rolling down to its final resting place. My lungs ached, but at least I was lighter now. Kicking upward, I managed to break through the water’s edge. I gasped, coughing and sputtering. “Jason!” I called. “Help me!”

  He peered over the side of the boat, oars raised midstroke, and let out one of his whiny noises. “Why in the world did you jump overboard?”

  “I didn’t jump. Donovan dragged me over.” I looked around, even though I knew I wouldn’t see him. So many ripples and waves sloshed near the boat, I couldn’t tell where he’d landed.

  “Yeah, sure,” Jason said. “I saw you dive overboard.”

  I swam toward the boat, teeth chattering. Each stroke took effort. The weight of my dress felt like a hand tugging me downward. “Would you just help me?”

  Jason reversed his strokes, guiding the boat to me. One of my coils had come loose and strands of hair clung to my neck and cheeks. Water kept sloshing into my face.

  Jason held out an oar. “Here.”

  I grabbed the end and he pulled me toward him. I reached for the edge of the boat, but it was too high. My hands slapped uselessly against the side.

  “I’ll pull you up.” I took a hold of Jason’s hand. That’s when I realized I was in trouble. Every time Jason lifted me, the boat rocked dangerously, nearly capsizing. With his weight at the side and my added weight, we made an unbalanced load.

  After three attempts, Jason let go of my hand. “This isn’t going to work.” He looked back at the shore. “You’re not that far from land. Why don’t you just swim there?”

  I treaded water, fighting to keep my head above water. “You want to leave me here?”