Afraid to Fall

by Nicole Douglas

  Kyle pushed his way through the wildly grown branches and bushes, leading the path for Jessica. Now that the adrenaline had worn off he began thinking about his destroyed career but quickly shook off the thought. It simply did no good to dwell on that. It was up to him to get them out of this mess. No help would be coming for them. Unless his sergeant had a change of heart, which he highly doubted. He had never known the man to have a heart at all.

  That being said, he knew he couldn't take them back to the military base which would have been his first choice under a different set of circumstances. He had abandoned all his gear with Mike when he bailed on his team. He had nothing but a bottle of water and a protein bar in one of his cargo pockets.

  I guess you have a habit of bailing. He thought to himself distastefully. It was definitely something Jessica would say to him.

  Not willing to accept that she had invaded his mind, he continued to brainstorm; a hard thing to do given the fact that Jessica was whispering angrily as she trudged through the dense jungle right behind him. She stepped over a log and pile of rocks while avoiding walking into spider webs that draped between low hanging branches.

  "Ew, gross." She complained to herself, swatting away a bug Kyle couldn't even see.

  "So…" He broke through her fixation on bugs. "What really made you come out here, anyway?"

  "I already told you. To volunteer."

  "Yeah, but...why here? There's plenty of places back home to volunteer. Safer places."

  She paused for a moment as if to decide if she wanted to confide in him.

  "I had a little boy come in to my hospital with stage four cancer. He was from here but his mother sent him to stay with family so he could have treatment..."

  She ducked beneath a tree branch that was hovering over their path and waited several moments before continuing.

  "For the two weeks he was in my care he talked about nothing but home. One of the last conversations we had was about his school. He said his old school burned down and he missed going. Missed learning and seeing his friends."

  Kyle walked in silent companionship, soaking in the story she was telling. He had a sinking feeling that he was going to hate the ending.

  "He died." She finished, trying to keep emotions from her voice.

  "So you came out here to rebuild his old school." He concluded.

  They walked a little further in a heavy silence. She was no doubt thinking about the young patient she lost. At the sound of cracking branches she jumped, nearly falling, only to realize the noise came from a monkey that was sitting on a nearby tree branch watching them closely.

  "When we get back to town, we're going to rent a car with the cash I got off that guy and get you to an airport. I'm putting you on the next plane back to the States." He informed her after he had carefully formed the plan. He left out the part where he would have to return to the military base and face the consequences for his actions.

  "Danielle and Amy are still out here. I can't leave without them."

  Kyle knew she was worried for her friends. He also knew they were nowhere close to being out of danger yet. He wasn't keen on having Jessica out here longer than absolutely necessary.

  "There's nothing we can do about them right now. This is a big jungle. I don’t know where they went and neither do you.”

  She stood in place while several beats passed. She was fighting the urge to take off looking for them. The fact that she didn’t have the slightest clue where they could be, not to mention she wasn’t good at navigating in the best of circumstances, kept her in place.

  “Having you out here in danger doesn't do them any good." He continued, trying to reason with her. "If they're still alive, they’re probably on their way to the airport too."

  Kyle stood patiently waiting for her to accept what he already knew; looking for her friends out here was like looking for a needle in a haystack. With extreme reluctance she nodded her head and continued on.

  Chapter Eleven

  If there was one thing Jessica was terrified of it was bugs. She wasn't much of an outdoor type. It figured that she would wind up wandering in some bug infested jungle on her vacation. All she had wanted to do was help that little boy from the hospital. Seeing as she hadn't been able to save his life, she flew thousands of miles with Danielle, Amy and Amber to this village to save the only thing left of him; his memory.

  They had wanted to rebuild his old school and name it after him so no one would forget Diego Jiminez. Now she had the sinking feeling that dream may not ever be accomplished. Not only was Diego gone but now so was Amber. Although they had been merely acquaintances up until Amber volunteered to join them, the thought of her being dead chilled Jessica to the core.

  She was slowly coming out of her hazy shock and the impact of Amber’s death was hitting her hard. They hadn't been close friends but she knew Amber well enough to know she was a great nurse and an even better person. Her eyes filled with tears that she quickly swiped away.

  She was walking ahead of Kyle at this point but still didn't want to risk him seeing her falling apart. He was a soldier; he had shown no weaknesses in the chaos that surrounded them. She was determined to do the same. The only thing that could stop her was-

  "Ah!" She shrieked as she felt something crawling on her arm.

  After brushing away at her arm repeatedly, long after whatever-it-was was gone, she heard Kyle laughing behind her.

  "Calm down. It was just a caterpillar." He chuckled.

  "Well I don't want one of those crawling on me either." She argued.

  She was unable to fight a smile at the sight of his. They both laughed together for a moment, releasing the tension that was coursing through both of them before carrying on. They walked until the sun set and darkness began to approach.

  "I think we should stop for the night." Kyle finally decided, much to Jessica's relief.

  "Thank God. I was starting to think you were going to bust out some night vision goggles and make us walk all night." She teased sarcastically.

  Her feet were killing her and the muscles in her thighs were burning at the strenuous workout of weaving through trees, over rocks and up small inclines in the dirt. She plopped down on a tree stump and rubbed her face in her hands. The stitch in her left side began to ease. She looked over at Kyle and doubted he felt a thing at all. He wasn’t even winded.

  Truth be told, had he been alone on his journey and hadn't left his pair of said night vision goggles behind with Mike that would have been a tempting idea. However, she was struggling to keep up with him. He was well aware that she was growing exhausted due to her heaving and panting. She desperately needed a break and some sleep.

  Reaching into his pocket, Kyle pulled out the melted protein bar. The wrapper squished in his hands as he peeled the corner, took a bite of the soft peanut butter and liquefied chocolate and handed it to Jessica. She took a small bite and closed her eyes as she softly moaned, savoring the taste.

  His mouth went dry. He looked away but could hear the crinkling of the wrapper and imagined she was licking the melted chocolate.

  Suddenly feeling the need to busy himself, Kyle turned away from her. Having nothing to set up a decent place for her to sleep he unbuttoned the thick camouflage jacket he had been wearing for miles and spread it on the softest patch of ground in front of a wide tree trunk. It wasn't much as far as sleeping arrangements went but at least she wouldn't be lying in the cold dirt. He had slept in much worse conditions than this but he was certain the worst she had slept in was a sleeping bag on a camping trip.

  Or the floor of a friend’s house.

  Or the bed of his truck when they were teenagers and snuck out. Even then he had brought pillows and blankets from his house for them to stay comfortable as they looked up at the stars and talked all night.

  He turned to her and reached for her arm in the dark, leading her to her temporary bed. She could hardly see his figure through the dark and his touch startled her.

  "I
didn't mean to scare you." He whispered apologetically.

  "It's okay." She whispered back.

  "Here." He placed his arm on her shoulder, led her to the spot and urged her to sit. "You need to get some sleep."

  She knelt down on the ground and felt the warm fabric.

  His jacket.

  The thoughtfulness of this gesture warmed her heart. Not quite at ease with the eerie jungle and the noises it was producing when the wind swept through the branches, she sat upright on the jacket and pulled her knees into her chest. Without the sun up the temperature had dropped dramatically, leaving Jessica with goose bumps on her arms. Her body shivered from a combination of fear and cold. She heard Kyle begin to pace back and forth, his boots crunching over the leaves in front of her. After several paces he stilled, realizing she was still sitting up and wide awake.

  "Try to get some sleep. We're going to be walking all day tomorrow and you need to be ready."

  "I'll be fine. I just...don't think I can sleep out here." She admitted with another shiver.

  She looked around in the dark, wishing her eyes would adjust.

  "Try." He urged.

  "Well what about you? Aren't you going to sleep?"

  "No. I'm used to not getting much sleep. I'll be fine." He continued to pace in front of her.

  She shivered again, catching his attention.

  "You cold?" He asked redundantly, moving closer to her.

  She nodded until she realized he couldn't see her through the dark. "Y-yeah, a little bit."

  He pulled off the gun, which he had hung across his shoulders by the strap, and sat it next to the tree trunk where it would be within reach. He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders, pulling her into his warmth.

  "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked as soon as he felt her ice-cold skin.

  He rubbed his hands over her arms in an attempt to warm her up. She was wearing a thin short-sleeved shirt, not much different from his t-shirt. He felt okay. It hadn't occurred to him that she would be this cold. She nuzzled into him, telling him just how cold and scared she must be to forget their differences.

  "I-I don't know." She forced out. "D-didn't want to bother you."

  He shook his head to himself and scooted behind her with his legs on each side of her body, surrounding her. He wanted to do whatever he could to make sure she felt safe and warm. If she were too tired to walk tomorrow they were in a heap of trouble. Soon her shivering ceased and she leaned her head back into his chest with a yawn.

  “Go to sleep, Jessie.”

  “D-don’t call me that.”

  “Go to sleep, Jessica.”

  Even exhausted and freezing to death she wasn’t willing to let him off the hook. He had never been on the receiving end of her anger; didn’t realize how strong she could hold onto an old grudge. He knew he deserved it so he took it in stride.

  "What if someone comes?" She asked sleepily.

  "I’ll be awake. Try to relax.” He whispered in her ear. “I won't let anything happen."

  And within a minute her body relaxed against his. She was fast asleep.

  Chapter Twelve

  "Jessie. Time to wake up." Kyle nudged her gently.

  She slowly stirred, choosing to ignore the use of her nickname, and realized she was still laying on him the same as night before. She also realized that he must have not gotten a wink of sleep.

  The sun had begun to rise, spilling golden orange streams through the treetops. Her stomach rumbled in hunger as she shifted out of Kyle's lap and stood to brush off what dirt she could from her pants. She shot him a disapproving look, wishing he had slept instead of feeling obligated to babysit her but bit her tongue on the matter.

  "I know you're hungry." He responded to the growl as he rose stiffly next to her. "I'm going to work on finding us something to eat today."

  "You mean...you don't think we're going to make it to town today?" She asked as her heart sank.

  "I know we won't. It'll take a couple days to get out of here. That's why we need to hurry up and get moving."

  He folded the dirty jacket enough to shove it halfway into one of his infinite cargo pockets. Then, picking up his gun and securing the strap around his shoulder in a swift motion he waited for her to prepare for the walk ahead of them. She stood feet away from him smoothing her hair and scrubbing her hands over her jeans.

  Realizing she was as ready as she could possibly be, Jessica motioned her hands to indicate she was following him. He led the way through the trees in the direction they were heading the night before. Their pace was significantly slower than the day before however as the faint path they had been following disappeared. The jungle became denser. Jessica struggled, tripping over rocks nearly every other step and climbing over mossy logs that reached as tall as her waist.

  Kyle patiently matched her speed and often helped her, hoisting her over logs and grabbing her around the waist to prevent her from falling when she tripped on an unseen hole in the dirt. After she got the hang of the terrain she began to notice the beauty of their environment; something she hadn’t been able to do thus far.

  Beautiful but deadly. She reminded herself.

  Hours passed and she was growing even more worn out. Kyle hadn’t stopped for a break once. Needing something to distract her from her aching legs, she looked up into the trees above them. Trying to find the source of the squawks she kept hearing, she stopped and looked up curiously. A toucan sat perched on a branch above them, catching her eye.

  "Kyle, look!" She exclaimed, pointing up at the colorful bird. It opened its wings widely at the sound of her voice as if deciding if it should fly off or stay put. He laughed softly at the awe he saw shining plainly on her face.

  "I've never seen one before." She explained sheepishly when she noticed his smirk.

  "Really?"

  "Well, only at the zoo." She amended. "That doesn’t count though."

  She looked back over her shoulder as they passed to get one last glance at the native creature. Her innocence made him want even more to protect her from knowing the extent to their danger.

  "You're in a better mood today." He pointed out.

  "I figured I'm stuck with you. I better make the most of it."

  "I'll take it." He shrugged.

  For the fourth time that morning she tripped over an exposed tree root. Kyle quickly grasped her upper arm, pulling her to her feet before she could hit the ground. He had learned early on in the hike that he should stay within reach of her.

  "Thanks." She smiled shyly up at him as a light blush crept into her cheeks.

  Over the course of the day his touch began setting her heart racing. The feeling was completely mutual. Kyle was secretly enjoying her clumsiness, as it gave him an excuse to feel her feminine arm inside his hand. The feeling of her soft skin against his gave him a high he had never experienced before her or since. He was becoming intoxicated by that feeling; addicted to it. He had to get her on that plane back home. If not for her own safety, for the preservation of his self-restraint. With each step they took he was becoming more obsessed with the thought of kissing her again, picking up where they had left off.

  He realized he had been staring at her and shifted his eyes away. Seeming to feel the tension as well, she took a timid step forward and walked carefully over the bumpy ground. He waited momentarily, giving himself time to collect his composure before following.

  "So do you still live in Riverdale?" Kyle asked conversationally.

  "Actually I live in Clear Springs."

  "Wow, you really ventured off." He joked about the town that was less than twenty minutes away.

  "Not everyone wanted to run away." She gave him a sideways glance. Her expression told him she wasn’t as clueless about his reason for leaving as he would have liked.

  "I guess not." He mumbled, caught off guard by her insightful remark.

  "Why'd you leave?"

  They walked several steps in silence when she realiz
ed he had no intentions of answering her question.

  "Oh, I get it.” She snorted. “You get to ask me a bunch of questions but I can't ask you why you left?"

  "Look, if I hurt you by leaving-"

  “If?”

  “Okay…I’m sorry for-“

  "I think it's a little late for 'I'm sorry'."

  "Well...I'm sorry about that too." He stumbled on his words, unsure of what else to say to diffuse the argument he saw coming. He honestly was sorry for leaving without a word; for letting so much time pass without reaching out with an apology.

  She sighed and dropped the topic. She was too used to him cracking jokes when things turned too serious. Apologies sounded alien coming from him. Despite her better judgment she had attempted to get him to open up and talk to her about their past. But predictably, he avoided it. She wasn't much surprised, just disappointed. She would give just about anything she owned to read Kyle's mind for one day. The once confusing boy had grown into an even more mysterious man.

  As much as his evasiveness was driving her crazy, she unable to ignore the fact that she was finding him insanely sexy. His voice. His touch. His laugh. They were turning her knees to Jell-O just like they did back in high school. Some things never changed.