The Far Side of Evil

by Sylvia Engdahl

  “Not exactly. I’m protected against it, that’s all.” I drew a deep breath, for we had come to the second crucial point, the heart of the whole scheme. In this I must mislead her, and I must do it with absolute conviction, since any trace of doubt in my own mind would be communicated to hers. What I was about to tell her was not a categorical falsehood; if she fell for it, it would become true. If she didn’t, or if that extra microphone was present, our situation was worse than hopeless.

  From the pocket in which, providentially, I had hidden the remains of my bread from yesterday’s breakfast, I drew forth two tiny pellets, pellets rolled from soft crumbs. They didn’t look at all like bread to anyone who had been given no reason to suspect their origin. “Kari,” I said levelly, “there’s a means of protection, and I’m going to share it with you. You won’t have to suffer at all. But you must go on trusting me; you must do exactly as I tell you and not ask questions.”

  She nodded, ready to grasp at the smallest straw of hope offered to her. “All right, then,” I said. “Quickly, in case they come to repair the camera! Swallow this.”

  I gave her one of the pellets, eating the other myself with the greatest display of melodrama possible. She stared for a moment and then, trustingly, popped the thing into her mouth. “What—what will it do?” she asked in a small voice.

  “Nothing harmful. It may seem strange and a little scary.” I paused, deciding on the quickest way to put across this bit of shameless deception. “You remember, Kari, when we went to that party where they offered us drugs, mind-changing drugs—”

  Her eyes grew dark with terror. “But Elana, those are dangerous! You said so yourself.”

  “Yes. But some are less dangerous than others, and a lot better than being tortured in any case.” I smiled encouragingly. “This isn’t like the bad ones. You won’t start seeing things or lose your ability to reason or anything like that. What will happen is that you’ll find your mind working in different ways than it has before. For instance, you’ll be able to communicate with me even when we’re not speaking aloud. We’ve both taken it, you see, and we’ll have—well, telepathy.”

  “Telepathy? We’ll read each other’s minds?” She was skeptical, but not too skeptical. Why should she doubt me? As far as she knew, I could have no possible motive for making up a story like that! Besides, Kari was in an even more suggestible state than usual, and not by accident; the stresses of interrogation are carefully calculated to produce that state. Commander Feric, by his rigorous handling of her, had once again unwittingly helped me.

  “We will when we both want to, just like conversation.” Turning my back on her, I added soundlessly, It’s had time to take effect by now. This is the first thing you’ll notice, but there’s something else more important.

  “What’s that?” Kari replied.

  You’ll be protected from pain; you won’t suffer.

  “I won’t feel it?”

  Yes, you’ll feel it, but you won’t care. The bad thing about pain is what goes on in your mind, not your body! Now your mind will react differently.

  “But if my body hurts—” she protested.

  If you were unconscious, it wouldn’t hurt no matter what was done to you. So you see it’s your mind that decides what being “hurt” is. Your emotions. The drug alters those emotions.

  “I don’t see,” Kari said shakily, “how I can possibly be conscious and not care.”

  No, not yet, but you will later. Do you see how you can read my mind?

  “I don’t see that either,” Kari admitted hopelessly. “Maybe I can’t; maybe it won’t work with me.”

  But it does work. I haven’t said anything out loud for the last two or three minutes.

  She was astonished. She hadn’t known she was doing it. It wasn’t all that hard, to be sure; I could have taught her to recognize telepathic communication merely by speaking to her in a foreign language and then pointing out that she had understood my strange words. I had tied it in with the “drug” simply to offer dramatic proof of my assertions. And it was an effective ploy. Kari believed in that “drug” unequivocally and was, I judged, ready to go on to more advanced lessons.

  Which meant taking the most crucial step of all. For me, it would be very demanding, very difficult; but I knew that it was necessary and that if I flinched from it my only chance to help Kari would be irredeemably lost.

  Now, this is the scary part, I told her. I’ve got to show you that what I’ve been saying about the pain is true, so you won’t be afraid later, with the machine.

  Show me? she wavered.

  Gripping Kari’s arm, I drew it around behind her. I’m going to hurt you a little, I warned. Just relax, and trust me. There’ll be a moment right at the beginning when your mind will start to react in the old way, from habit, but that will pass.

  She stiffened. Quickly I reached out to her mentally in the deep, wordless way that I had seldom had the opportunity to practice. The skill I must teach her could not be expressed in words; Younglings have no words for it, any more than they have for the technique of psychokinesis. She was receptive this time, but her tenseness was still a barrier.

  Trust me, Kari! I insisted. Relax; let yourself go limp. I know this is frightening, but remember, fear is all you’ll suffer from. Fear, not pain! The pain can’t bother you because the drug won’t let it.

  Are you sure, Elana?

  They’ve used the machine on me lots of times. I don’t mind it; even the interrogator admits that I don’t.

  Kari’s eyes were closed and she was rigid, but she didn’t draw away. The pain won’t bother you, I repeated, but you’ll expect it to, so it’ll seem bad at first. Only for a minute, though. After that—well, I can’t describe it, but you’ll see. It’s a joyous thing, Kari. Not terrible at all! I felt a flash of conviction in her, and, taking advantage of it, I pulled her arm upward, twisting it sharply.

  It was pure agony for an instant, and through our telepathic link I felt it as strongly as she. Resisting the impulse to relent, I threw those anguished feelings right back at her, mastering them, passing the skill from my mind to hers. And she responded! She grasped the concept, though she couldn’t put it into words any more than I could, since in her language those words just didn’t exist. Her terror faded; she relaxed at last; and, incredibly, she smiled.

  Elana, it is joyous! It’s not like anything I ever imagined; I feel so—so free.

  Free … to her it must seem that way, I thought. Poor Kari, who had lived with fear so long, never guessing her own power; how sad that for her this couldn’t last any longer than the breadcrumbs held out! Perhaps it was worth what they were doing to her, just for a taste of such freedom.

  I released her arm, returning her smile with warmth. You see, you don’t need to worry. The drug won’t let you suffer.

  How soon will it wear off?

  Not till late tonight, and then I’ll give you more. I hoped they would not try an unprecedented marathon session; if they did, I would have to slip it to her somehow. I refused to consider the more frightful possibility, that Commander Feric might not stop with the use of the machine.

  Elana? Kari asked suddenly. Suppose there is another microphone in here; suppose they heard you mention the drug?

  Then we’re in a bad spot, I replied honestly.

  But you! They’ll take it away from you, too!

  Yes, I admitted, hoping that I could avoid telling an outright lie—that without it I too would suffer.

  You shouldn’t have taken the chance. Not if your secret is something they’d start a war over.

  I squeezed Kari’s hand. I had not misjudged her; she was by no means a coward, she only thought she was. She still thought so, in spite of the implications of what she had just said. I won’t give them any information, Kari, whatever happens, I assured her. You wouldn’t, either. With the drug it’s easier, that’s all.

  Why haven’t they searched you before this, and found it?

  That’s one of
the questions you mustn’t ask.

  She thought, I suppose, that it had somehow been smuggled in to me; like the police, she assumed that I must be part of a highly organized spy network, and it was an impression that I had to foster. She wouldn’t demand to know such secrets, for she wouldn’t trust herself with them.

  That was the root of Kari’s problem; she didn’t trust herself. And I hadn’t really solved it. What if something went wrong? What if the guards had overheard, or what if the Commander did something against which my makeshift measures couldn’t protect her? Kari would break; whether they killed her or not, as a person she would be destroyed. She could not possibly hold out, not when she had nothing to hold out for.

  It is easier when you do have a secret than when you don’t.

  I knew, then, what I must do. There was one more thing I could give Kari, one other kind of support I could offer. It would be dangerous, and in some ways cruel. If I was overestimating her strength, it would be very cruel indeed. Yet in a pinch, if she was what I believed she was, it could make the difference between helplessness and free choice.

  It wasn’t enough for her to trust me; she must have proof of my trust in her. She must be told something worth concealing, something in which she had a personal stake. Kari, I began, there’s one thing you ought to know.

  Don’t tell me anything! I might give it away.

  You won’t. It’s about Randil.

  She turned pale. “Randil?” she gasped.

  Don’t say his name aloud! You must never give his name, Kari, or even admit that you know him.

  Randil is mixed up in this, too? He’s connected to your past after all? Oh, Elana, I’ve been so worried! I haven’t been able to get in touch with him since the night he broke curfew, and they wouldn’t have held him so long for that. Fighting back tears, she pleaded, He’s not in this place, is he?

  No. They’re aware that he’s involved, but he has them fooled; they haven’t guessed that he’s on our side.

  If they do guess, will they arrest him? Torture him?

  Yes! I replied implacably. He knows the whole secret; everything I know.

  Does he have the drug?

  No, and I won’t be able to get it to him. So you see—

  She clung to me, cold with a deeper terror than any she had previously shown. I hated myself; yet this half-truth could save her. It might be the only thing that could save her, and if so, Randil himself would be the first to say that it should be risked. You mustn’t be afraid, I told her. There is no way they can suspect him except through us.

  Then we can’t tell them anything no matter what they do to me! Elana, promise me you won’t!

  I promise, I agreed, realizing with wonder that Kari, through the power of her love, was giving full and genuine consent after all. She will be all right now, whatever we have to face; at any rate I’ve convinced her that she will, projecting what solace I’ve been able to salvage from the remnants of my own once unshatterable faith.

  *

  We have lasted through a harrowing day. To escape what is ahead of us, we now have one frail chance. There has been a new development.

  This morning, when we entered the interrogation room, we were hit with a real jolt: Randil was there, seated next to Commander Feric. Kari almost collapsed, but she had been bearing up amazingly well until that point and she was alert to my telepathic command. Don’t recognize him! Treat him as a stranger! He’s not here as a prisoner; he’s still pretending to side with them.

  But if Kari was appalled by Randil’s presence, he was absolutely floored by hers. I have never seen an agent come so close to losing control. He had not, of course, known of her arrest, and he hadn’t an inkling as to the reason for it. I told him, quickly and silently, realizing that I could do it more gently than Commander Feric would. Randil’s emotions very nearly swamped us both, but the discipline of his training paid off and he showed no outward sign. There is no weakness in Randil, only naïveté.

  He had come to help me, to try to get me released, and his idea of how to go about it was to convince the authorities that the ship couldn’t possibly be endangered by anything I might be mixed up in. This well-meant attempt was the worst danger I had encountered, and it had to be squelched. Moreover, I was horribly afraid that his presence might jeopardize my scheme to protect Kari. They were pretending not to recognize each other, but did Commander Feric know of their connection? I had been under surveillance, and Randil’s visits to our apartment might have been noted. The Commander could inflict a great deal of pain by telling her that I had denounced Randil, especially since in doing so, to avoid involving Kari, I had mentioned my own “dates” with him rather than hers. These facts could be presented in a very bad light; they might put too great a strain on her trust in me, whatever silent explanation I gave.

  Yet in spite of everything, I was thankful for his appearance, which meant that there might be a chance for Toris after all. I was helpless; the best I could do was to stall for time. But Randil had access to the ship! He would destroy it, surely, if he could be forced to rethink those unrealistic assumptions of his.

  My first impulse, when he grasped the significance of Kari’s being strapped into the chair, was to reassure him: to explain that she wasn’t really going to suffer. And then, just on the brink of it, I stopped. It was the cruelest decision I have ever made. I condemned Randil to an ordeal even worse, in view of his love for Kari, than what I had believed I myself couldn’t bear; I did it coldly and deliberately. I had to. When I had communicated with him before, I had failed to convince him that the ship would be used for evil. I still couldn’t convince him because he just couldn’t comprehend the depths to which Younglings can sink. He needed proof, and the proof could be given only through shock treatment.

  At the beginning, naturally, Randil tried to stop the proceedings. “This is insane,” he told the interrogator. “Clearly, the second woman is innocent, no matter what this agent of your enemies may be concealing.”

  “I’m aware that she is innocent. Regrettably, she is the only tool we have, for the agent’s sole weakness is her sensitivity to the suffering of others, and this girl was unfortunate enough to have been her roommate.”

  With relief I noted that he spoke of Kari as if she could be of no possible consequence to anyone but me. Apparently, if Randil’s dates with her had been observed, they had not been recorded in my file, for he had been under no suspicion at the time. It was I whom the police had been watching, not him; they’d been unaware that he was writing the articles and had thus assumed him to be an ordinary student until he had given them the ship. Afterward, therefore, they’d had no way of connecting him with the man seen earlier, and though I’d told them that he knew me, they would naturally suppose that if he also knew my roommate he would say so.

  “It’s monstrous!” Randil insisted. “You Torisians are barbarians; on Juta we do not torture innocent people. We don’t torture people at all, as far as that goes.”

  Kari stared at him, flabbergasted. Don’t be surprised by anything Randil may say, I told her. Much of it will sound strange, but it’s all part of a complicated plot. They believe that he’s Jutan—from the planet Juta, I mean.

  Randil? But he couldn’t be!

  Of course not. But as long as they think he is, he’s safe. They assume that the Jutans are siding with them against the Libertarians.

  Are there really Jutans, like in science fiction?

  No, but that’s another thing you must never tell.

  “I will not be a party to this,” Randil declared grimly.

  “You were not asked to be a party to it,” Commander Feric reminded him. “It was you who requested to be present at the examination of the agent, after all; and I must say I still don’t see how you learned about her, for we never intended to trouble you with such affairs.”

  “I did not know what sort of examination you were planning. I thought I might assist you in clearing up the matter so that your use of the ship wo
uld be delayed no further, because personally I do not believe this nebulous sabotage plot is in any way dangerous. My advice is to forget it and to release both women at once.”

  Randil, no! I urged desperately. If they stop believing in the plot, this is all for nothing; Kari will have suffered for nothing.

  Incredulously he burst out, You won’t really let them torture her! Elana, you can’t! Not just to keep up this senseless pretense.

  It’s not senseless. They’ll have their nuclear bombs loaded in that ship within hours of the time I confess I’m bluffing.

  They couldn’t. I won’t believe it!

  Would you have believed they could use Kari to get my confession?

  Commander Feric said, “I’m afraid you have insufficient knowledge of our ways to judge them; you must bear with us. The plot is a potential danger not only to the ship but to the relations between your planet and ours, and this agent is the key to it. She will break very shortly now, and you will then have the opportunity to question her at length, as is your right. We would not want Juta to get the impression that we of Toris are incapable of dealing with crimes against the State.” Turning to me, he inquired, “Well, Elana? Have you decided to be sensible? I warn you that I’m not going to use the restraint I did yesterday, and you will spare your friend much pain if you give in now.”

  I answered neither him nor Randil, who was imploring, Elana, please! Can’t you pretend to confess, make up some harmless story? Hardening my heart to him, I withheld response. To make up a story would be impossible; Randil had no conception of the details that would be demanded of me, or of the way in which those details would be checked. Commander Feric would first of all insist that I name my fellow conspirators.

  I had, of course, warned Kari that she must put on a good act for the interrogator. He’s accepted the idea that I don’t mind pain, I had told her, but if you show that you don’t, he’ll be suspicious, especially since you minded it yesterday. So you’ve got to pretend to be really terrified. And you’ve got to scream and carry on and beg me to make him stop.