Book 5: 3rd World Products, Inc.

by Ed Howdershelt

  "There were two baddies, Cap. I tapped on the door to get their attention away from the customers, then I stunned them. Some guy with a badge took charge in the restaurant."

  Linda was grinning as she gently shouldered Wallace aside to face the datapad's pickup camera and asked, “Where are you now, Dragonfly?"

  "On the flitter in the restaurant parking lot, O Fearless Leader, ma'am. Your boyfriend yelled at me. Now I'm hurt."

  She snickered, glanced at her watch and showed it to Wallace with a meaningful look, then said, “That was very quick work, Ed. Was anybody injured?"

  "I don't think so. Didn't see any bodies on the floor ‘cept the ones I put there, anyway. Got a question, though. Why didn't our people use their stunners?"

  "One just got his today and the other didn't have hers with her. They're both brand-new personnel, so chances are they aren't too good—or too confident—with them yet. It's probably just as well they called the situation in."

  "Okay. Just curious. Anything else, milady? Do I have to stick around to meet and greet with the cops, or can we just say the bad guys fainted from excitement?"

  Snorting a soft laugh, Linda said, “Stick around, Dragonfly. I want a certain Detective Marlin to know what happened."

  Nodding, I reached into the canopy console for my seldom-used stun wand as I said, “Okay,” then, “Flitter, go to visible mode, please. Canopy and translucent barrier up."

  Linda said, “That's all for now. Good work and don't give the detective a hard time, please. We'd like her to be happy to see us in the future."

  Saluting in a general fashion, I grinningly said, “Roger that, Fearless Leader. Make her happy. Do or die, ma'am!"

  Grinning, Linda said, “Oh, I do hope it won't come to that, of course. Later, Dragonfly. Good work.” She poked her ‘off’ icon as three cop cars pulled into the restaurant lot.

  The cops had apparently been updated on the situation en route. Five uniforms hurried into the restaurant as a brunette woman in a brown jacket-and-skirt business outfit came toward the flitter.

  Hopping to the ground, I tucked my stun wand up my sleeve and waited until she reached the translucent barrier field before stepping forward to meet her. She looked me up and down once before extending her hand.

  "Hello. I'm Detective Marlin. You are...?"

  Taking her hand, I said, “Just call me Ed. My boss said you'd want to know what happened, so I stuck around."

  Her gaze narrowed slightly, then she nodded equally slightly and eyed the flitter as she said, “I've already heard reports from 3rd World and those inside the restaurant. I'm told you used a stun device to incapacitate the suspects."

  "Yup. Ever see one before?"

  "No, but I'd like to see yours."

  Nodding, I let the slender stun wand slip into my hand and handed to her.

  She eyed the featureless metal stick for a moment, then asked, “How does it work?"

  I grinned as I said, “Wake up the bad guys and I'll show you, ma'am."

  Returning my grin with one that didn't look altogether real, she asked, “Couldn't you maybe just tell me?"

  Shrugging, I said, “Sure. You point it at whomever and sort of envision a stun at them. It sounds kind of odd, but it's easy after you do it a few times."

  Her skepticism was almost tangible. I looked around and spotted a cow munching some grass by a board fence that bordered the parking lot some fifty feet away.

  "Watch,” I said, and pointed the stun wand at the cow. “Half strength,” I added, then I stunned the cow.

  The cow instantly sagged to its knees, then its eyes closed and it collapsed on its side, out cold. When I looked at Marlin, she was staring in wide-eyed amazement at the cow.

  "But ... but you didn't do anything!” she whispered.

  "Sure I did. I stunned the cow."

  Fixing me with her wide-eyed gaze, she said, “What I mean is ... Well, you didn't do anything! Nothing happened!"

  "Well, I beg to differ, ma'am. The cow's out cold."

  She almost grabbed the wand out of my hand and eyed it from end to end again, then hurried toward the cow. I followed and caught up with her just before she reached the fence.

  "Excuse me,” I said, “But every police agency in the country's been told about these stunners. There have been demonstrations damned near everywhere there are cops. How is it you haven't seen one work before?"

  Marlin eased between the boards to get a closer look at the cow and said almost distractedly, “I was an Air Force AP until a few months ago, when I took this job. Never got a chance to see a stunner until now. Will the cow be all right?"

  "She'll be fine. I can wake her up now, if you want."

  Nodding, Marlin said, “Yes. Do that, please."

  "You got it."

  Stepping through the fence, I put both hands around the cow's ear and blew hard into it. The cow came up kicking and slinging her head around in a dazed fashion.

  "Just in case you ever need to know,” I said, patting the cow's shoulder as she moved away from us, “That trick'll get a plow mule off his ass, too."

  The cow stopped some distance away and looked back at us rather suspiciously for a few moments, then shook her head hard and continued to move away.

  Marlin raised the wand and looked at it for a second, then pointed it at the cow and squinted. The wand was keyed to me, so nothing happened, of course.

  "They won't work for anyone but their owners,” I said as I took the wand and zapped the cow, which again collapsed to the ground with a grunt.

  "Damn!” hissed Marlin. “No sound. No flash. No nothing. Just like that..?"

  "Yup. Just like that. Out cold and no harm done. It works on any living creature, as far as I know.” Grinning at her, I asked, “You ready for one of your own yet?"

  Laughing shortly, Marlin said, “Oh, hell, yes!"

  Sticking the wand in my back pocket, I said, “You'll have to get with 3rd World, then. Want me to ring somebody up from the flitter?"

  With a glance at the flitter, Marlin said, “I have to clear all equipment purchases with the department."

  Leading the way back to the flitter, I said, “Then you'll know who to contact when it's cleared. This is just a call to find out who to call."

  I noticed that there were now only two cop cars in the lot as she asked, “You mean you don't know?"

  Shrugging, I said, “Nope. I was issued mine while the big ship was still here. I don't know who's in charge of sales."

  Marlin fell behind when I walked through the barrier field. After a moment, she cautiously followed and I handed her aboard as she spotted Steph and Sue, then Tiger, who had at some point moved to the console dashboard.

  "These are Stephanie, Sue, and Tiger,” I said, indicating each in turn.

  Shaking hands with Steph and Sue, Marlin told us to call her Rhonda, but she gave Tiger only a glance before her attention turned to the flitter in general.

  I said, “Wait one. You aren't finished with introductions."

  Her left eyebrow went up slightly as she asked, “You mean your cat? I'm not really a cat person, I'm afraid. Allergies."

  Sue said, “Such allergies are usually incited by saliva or dander. Neither will be a problem aboard this flitter."

  Tiger knew the word ‘allergy’ from other such conversations. He sat as tall as possible, regally curled his tail around his forepaws, and proudly said, “I am not allergy. Hello."

  Looking first at Tiger, then at the rest of us, Marlin gave us a wry look and the comment, “Cute. Who's the ventriloquist?"

  Tiger knew that word from other first-meetings, too.

  "No,” he said. “I talk. My collar talks. I am Tiger. Hello."

  Sue said, “His collar translates for him, Rhonda. That's why you're hearing feline vocals as well as words."

  With a slight sigh and a look that said that the joke had gone far enough, Marlin softly snorted, “Yeah. Right."

  "Marlin,” I said firmly enough to get he
r attention. When she faced me, I said, “It's true. He talks through his collar. Believe it or don't, but don't hurt his feelings. Tiger's part of our little group and he deserves to be included."

  Hopping to a seat near her, Tiger stood up on the seat, put his forepaws on the back of the seat and said again, “Is true. I talk. My collar talks. I am Tiger. Hello."

  It took Rhonda another moment of staring at Tiger to reach a decision, but she finally said, “Uh ... Hello, Tiger."

  "Thank you,” he said. “You not touch?"

  "Ah ... Like I said, I have allergies."

  "Not allergic to me. Not here."

  "He's right,” said Sue. “No fur or dander escapes his field. You may touch him if you wish."

  Glancing at Sue, Rhonda asked, “His what?"

  "His field,” I said, “Something else his collar does. Just pet him, Rhonda. You won't have any sniffles unless they're psychosomatic ones."

  Rhonda tentatively reached to pet Tiger. His happy little face made her laugh softly as he pushed himself into her hand. Once she'd made contact, it was as if she'd decided to throw caution to the wind; she took his face in both hands and ruffled his cheeks as he purred.

  "I haven't touched a cat like this since I was twelve,” she said quietly, “That's when we finally figured out why I always looked like I had a cold. I was allergic to our Jennybelle.” She sighed. “My aunt adopted Jennybelle, and after we cleaned the house really well a few times, my allergy problems went away, but I always missed my Jennybelle."

  Patting her shoulder, I said, “Take your time, then. Tiger's a glutton for attention and you've been saving it up."

  Turning to Sue, I asked, “Who would Rhonda contact at 3rd World about buying some stun wands?"

  "Patricia Gladstone. Would you like me to call her?"

  "Whenever Rhonda's through communing with our morale officer. Thanks."

  Rhonda laughed and said, “I think I could pet Tiger and talk at the same time. Go ahead and make the call."

  The console screen came on and a dark haired woman said, “Patricia Gladstone. How may I help you?” then she seemed to peer at me and asked, “Have we met?"

  Marlin startled and stepped back from the console, then squeaked and startled again when Sue disappeared from beside her.

  "What..?” she began, but I turned my attention to the console screen and said, “No, I don't think we've met, Ms. Gladstone. I'm Ed and this is Detective Marlin. She's seen my wand and now she's interested in having one of her own."

  Taking Marlin's arm, I stood her in front of the console—and within range of Tiger's questing rubbings—and said, “There you go. One 3rd World sales rep, as promised. I'll step out of the office now and let you two talk details."

  Leaving Marlin to her own devices, I grabbed my coffee mug, hopped off the flitter, and headed toward the restaurant as a cop with corporal's stripes on his sleeves came out and headed toward me.

  Sue stood beside the cow, petting it as she waved to me. Steph joined her and seemed to study the creature intently.

  The approaching cop stopped and asked, “Is Detective Marlin aboard that thing?"

  "Yes, she is. She's on the phone with someone at the moment, though. And that ‘thing’ is a flitter, by the way."

  "Uh, huh. Who are you?"

  "Name's Ed. I came with the flitter."

  "Did you have anything to do with what happened here?"

  "I've already talked with Marlin about that."

  Stiffening slightly, the cop said, “Well, now I'm asking you."

  "My boss told me to talk to Detective Marlin, Corporal, and she might prefer things stay that way for now. Better ask her."

  Just because I was feeling ornery, I added, “You might want to find out who those women are with that cow, though. They sure don't look like farmers to me."

  When he looked where I pointed, I whispered, “Three suit on,” vanished, and quietly stepped well away from him.

  His gaze found and studied Steph and Sue for a moment, then he looked back to find me gone and quickly pivoted to look around the lot.

  After another few moments of searching, he headed toward the flitter. I didn't think he'd be good company in his present mood, so I keyed my comm implant.

  "Flitter,” I said, “Shields up. Soundproof and opaque. The cop approaching is not to be allowed aboard. Rhonda can talk to him when she leaves you."

  The cop's gait changed when the flitter's barrier field changed from translucent to opaque. He eased forward and touched the field, then knocked on it. When nobody answered, he took out his handcuffs and used them to knock louder.

  He waited some moments before he realized that nobody was going to let him in. With a last handcuff-swat at the barrier, he put the cuffs away and walked around the flitter toward Steph and Sue. I keyed my implant.

  "Ladies,” I said, “That cop is a little tense at the moment. You may have to sedate him a bit to help him be nice."

  Sue chucklingly replied, “You're actually suggesting we sedate him, aren't you?"

  "Well, only if necessary. Hey, he may fall in love when he gets a closer look at you and be no trouble at all."

  Steph laughed and asked, “You think so, do you?"

  "Why not? I did. Later, ladies. I'm going to get a coffee."

  Chapter Twenty-one

  One of the cops escorted a woman toward the restaurant's door as I approached. I stopped beside the building to turn off my three suit, then held the door for them and entered the restaurant once they were past me.

  The other cop stopped me before I got very far past the door, eyeing my fatigue shirt, jeans, and golf shoes as I looked around the restaurant. The two baddies were gone, likely in the cop car that had left.

  Before he could say anything, I showed my ID and said, “3rd World sent me. I was in the area for other reasons."

  The cop's eyebrow went up as he said, “You must have really hauled ass to get here so quick."

  Shrugging, I replied, “I wasn't that far away. Where are the two 3rd World personnel?"

  He pointed at a man and woman sitting at a table conveniently near the coffee pots. I thanked him and headed that direction, stopping at the coffee pots on the way.

  At their table, I sat down as I said, “Hi, guys. I'm Ed. How are you two doing now that the ruckus is over?"

  They were both in their twenties and apparently off duty, given the way they were dressed. She wore a sweatshirt and cutoffs and had her reddish-brown hair tied back in a ponytail. He wore jeans and a flannel shirt and had one of those military cuts that only leaves a tuft of hair on top of the head.

  I sipped coffee as both of them eyed my outfit for a moment and decided how they'd handle my uninvited arrival at their table.

  The man abruptly asked, “Ed who? You weren't here during the robbery."

  "Attempted robbery,” I corrected him, pulling the stun wand out of my back pocket and placing it on the table, “And I was here, actually. Outside, rattling keys at the door."

  Both of them stared at the wand briefly, then the woman sighingly said, “Oh, thank you so much. We didn't know what the hell to think when the gunmen just fell down. Why didn't you come inside after you stunned them?"

  Shrugging, I replied, “I wasn't dressed for dinner."

  He laughed, she didn't. Oh, well.

  "Sir,” she said, “I only called my office because I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't use my cell phone and..."

  Shrugging again, I said, “No sweat. It's not like you're in any kind of trouble."

  "There wasn't anything else to do anyway, Joan,” said the guy, “They had guns.” He extended a hand to me and said, “Hi, I'm Dick Wexler."

  The woman said, “Joan Humes,” and also shook my hand, “Are you with 3rd World Security?"

  "Yeah, sort of. I work for Linda Baines, but I don't spend much time on base. I was just visiting when you called, so I dropped by and..."

  Joan hissed, “Oh, my God! Linda Baines! Ed! Now I kno
w who you are!"

  Wexler peered at her questioningly.

  Glancing around the room, Joan sharply whispered, “Dick! This is the guy who went to Iran!"

  Dick's eyes locked on me. Oh, hell. Nip this in the bud.

  I said firmly, “Hold it down, people. We aren't going to talk about 3rd World business in a public restaurant."

  With an ‘are you serious?’ look, Joan said, “What happened isn't exactly a secret, sir. Haven't you seen the news?"

  "Did you see me on the news, lady? No, you didn't, and you won't risk making me a news item in here, either. I just came in to see how you two were doing and get a coffee refill while a cop makes a call from my flitter."

  Holding up my coffee mug, I added, “And now I have it, so I'll be on my way."

  Pushing her seat back and rising, Joan excitedly hissed, “You came here in a flitter?!"

  It hadn't occurred to me that someone who worked at 3rd World's Earth headquarters would get so excited by the idea of seeing a flitter. I stood up, too.

  "Wanna see it? If you're all through in here, it's outside."

  Wexler said, “I'll go see if there's anything else we need to do. We filled out a couple of forms already."

  "Nah,” I said, “Just head for the door. They know where to find you and if there's anything left to do, they'll tell you."

  As we neared the door, one of the cops started to say something and I asked, “Is Detective Marlin still aboard the flitter?"

  He closed his mouth and glanced around before he shrugged slightly and said, “Must be. I haven't seen her since we got here."

  "Oh, well. We'll find her. Do you need her in here?"

  "Naw, it's all note-taking at this point."

  "Good ‘nuff.” I led the others past him and outside.

  As soon as Joan saw the flitter, she stopped cold. Her jaw dropped and her eyes got big, then she stumbled down the steps as if staring at some sort of miracle in progress.

  Wexler and I exchanged a ‘what the hell?’ glance, then followed her as her speed increased to a quick march.

  Joan reached the flitter's barrier field well ahead of us, running her hands over the smooth surface of the field and tapping on it with her fingernails.