Paper Mage

by Cutter, Leah

  Xiao Yen tried to look down, but the intensity of his stare caught her.

  “And maybe, I have,” he said.

  “How?” Xiao Yen didn't want to speak. The word was forced out of her, drawn by Udo's eyes, the color of thunderclouds.

  “You've protected me this whole journey. You killed Vakhtang. You defeated the rat dragon. You've never betrayed me. Frauke can't compare to you.”

  Finally Udo looked away and Xiao Yen was able to look down at her hands. They'd twisted her reins tightly through her fingers without her realizing it. Whatever warmth she might have felt from Udo's unexpected praise was overwhelmed by his unspoken question.

  When would she betray him as well?

  * * *

  Finding Ehran along the main road was easy. Many merchants camped next to the side of the road; all Xiao Yen had to do was point to Udo and ask “where?” Everyone knew where the other foreigner camped.

  Dusk had gathered at the tops of the trees by the time they arrived. The sour and meaty smell of the camp's evening mash mingled with scents of pines, sweaty men and dusty horses. A few crickets had begun their nightly chorus. The air chilled as the sun dipped below the trees, making Xiao Yen wish she could get at her headscarf, but it was buried at the bottom of her saddlebag.

  Ehran challenged them as they rode up. Udo responded. Xiao Yen recognized that they were swearing at each other, and was glad she didn't know exactly what they were saying. Udo hopped off his horse, gave his brother a big hug and pounded his back. Ehran responded in kind.

  Xiao Yen slipped off her horse and stood nearby, watching. The resemblance of the brothers struck her again: though Ehran was fat, and Udo was skinny, one was dark, the other, blond, they had the same chin, the same ears, the same frightening, tooth-filled smile.

  When they stopped swearing at each other, Udo asked about all the horses, naming each in turn. It sounded to Xiao Yen like an old uncle asking after his brother's children. A strange thought occurred to her: maybe they were Udo's children, since he'd never had any of his own.

  When the brothers finished talking Udo turned to her and beamed. Xiao Yen wasn't watching him though. Ehran's face had turned pale, drawn, and his shoulders had stiffened. Udo turned back to Ehran.

  “What's wrong?” Udo asked.

  “I didn't think you'd bring her here too. I thought you'd leave her behind at Wolfgang's.”

  “Vakhtang's. Why should I do that? She saved my life, more than once.” Udo's eyebrows drew together in a single frowning line.

  “She's a woman! I thought you didn't like her,” Ehran sputtered.

  Udo looked at him sternly. Xiao Yen held herself still. So it hadn't been her imagination. Udo hadn't liked her.

  “I've changed my mind,” he said. “She's proven herself, more than once, that she's worthy. Why is it a problem that she's here?”

  Ehran had the grace to look embarrassed, even as he defended himself. “After that guard escaped, I didn't know how to find you, or if you'd be coming back. I waited, but when this caravan came, needing horses, I agreed to go with them, and wait for you on the coast.” Ehran lowered his voice. “This caravan already has a mage to protect it.”

  Xiao Yen looked at Ehran. Had she understood him correctly? There was another mage here? A sinking feeling weighed her down. Master Wei had warned his students again and again that any mages they met outside their school would be unfriendly. Vakhtang certainly had been. Was she going to have to fight someone else?

  Udo asked, “How much are we paying her? And for what services? Can we renegotiate the contract? And just pay her for whatever magic she does?”

  Ehran laughed, long and mean.

  Xiao Yen wanted to shake him. Why was he laughing? What did he know that he wasn't telling his brother? That he wasn't telling her?

  “She's turned you around, hasn't she? The new mage is a man. We're part of the general caravan. We don't pay anything, and they get the use of two of the horses to pull their wagon. We're on our way to the mage's home, Kuangho, which is also a port city, with ships going back west.”

  Udo stroked his chin, nodding. “So Xiao Yen could also be part of the caravan if she agrees to help defend it, right?”

  “Sanchen? Yes, she could. That is, if Tuo Nu allows it. He's the mage guarding the wagon.”

  Udo and Ehran narrowed their eyes and stared at each other in the growing twilight, trying to see what lay inside the other's head. Their expressions were identical. If the situation hadn't been so serious Xiao Yen might have laughed.

  A small thin man, with dark hair, creamy golden skin and eyes that marked him as someone from the Middle Kingdom, walked up. He had a long scholar's beard growing out of his chin, similar to Vakhtang's. His forehead was broad and wide. Xiao Yen wondered if he shaved the front of his hair to make his forehead seem larger, and himself more intelligent. His nose had a crook in it, as though it'd been broken and not set properly. His eyes also reminded her of Vakhtang's, greedy and sucking in everything they saw.

  He kept his hands inside the sleeves of his dark red jacket. Xiao Yen wondered what weapon he was hiding then chided herself. If she had to fight this mage, it would be magically, not physically. Besides, the evening was chilly. This mage probably had nothing up his sleeve except his hands. Gold braid ran around the cuffs and down the front of his jacket, like some kind of official's. A thicker brown braid was tied around his waist. He wore his hair pulled back, bound in a short ponytail worn high on the crown of his head, looped over and pinned back down, every hair in place, neater than even Fu Be Be's.

  He bowed over his folded hands to Ehran, then to Udo. When he looked beyond the men to Xiao Yen, he hesitated. Xiao Yen bowed deeply to him. Power emanated from this man. With her mind's eye, Xiao Yen saw him filling the clearing with a warm glow. The trees seemed to bow with him, as well as the grasses at his feet. He'd cast a strong blue shadow when she saw him in the daylight. She hoped he would be friendly.

  He bowed just as deeply back to her, saying in the language of the Middle Kingdom, “I thought the moon had risen early. Now I see it's just your mage light.”

  Xiao Yen wasn't certain what he meant. She'd never heard of anything called “mage light.” She'd only ever seen blue shadows, and images in her mind's eye. She glanced around. There wasn't enough sunlight left to see clear shadows. Maybe this mage was much stronger than she could tell, able to see magic in shadows, while she needed the light.

  “Oh no,” Xiao Yen replied. “I am still young, and learning. I have small magic, compared to you.”

  Tuo Nu shook his head again, opened his mouth to say something to Xiao Yen then changed his mind. He turned his head and addressed Ehran.

  “Since your brother has arrived, should I set up the defenses for tonight's camp?” he said smoothly in their language.

  Xiao Yen caught her breath. He spoke Udo and Ehran's language so well she could barely follow him. He spoke the language of the Middle Kingdom. His home was far enough from the capital that he probably spoke a third language, his own people's dialect, as well. How was she ever going to compete with him, or other mages like him?

  Ehran said, “Sure,” while at the same time Udo said, “No.” The brothers stared at each other for a moment before Udo continued. “Let Xiao Yen set up the defenses for this evening.”

  Tuo Nu turned and bowed to her. “Of course. It would be a great honor for me.”

  Xiao Yen replied, “I can't. I need to practice. Not tonight.” Xiao Yen hadn't folded anything since the rat dragon's cave. She normally practiced every day. To fold a creature that wasn't perfect, and then to animate it, would be a disaster.

  “Don't be modest,” Tuo Nu said. “I've heard so much about your magic. I would enjoy seeing it.” He smiled at her, but in a foreigner way, showing his teeth like a predator.

  “I can't,” Xiao Yen said. She looked at Udo, to plead with him.

  He stared back at her, measuring her refusal, measuring her against the other woman in his
life. “Please,” he said. “Please, you can do it.”

  Xiao Yen couldn't refuse.

  * * *

  Xiao Yen sat without a cushion, letting the cold earth seep into her legs. It was a distraction and a comfort at the same time. She sought her silence, the stillness that formed her life, that was an integral part of her magic. It came roaring in her ears like floodwaters. She tried to clear her inner ear, to only see with her mind's eye. The silence beat at her, like a giant heart pounding beneath ocean waves. There were too many things outside her silence, forcing their way in.

  She lowered herself to the ground and touched her forehead three times. She sat and prayed to Zhang Gua Lao for a moment, but she couldn't clear her mind. She was hungry, the ground was cold, her legs hurt from riding a horse. She took another deep breath and brought her hands out in front of her. At least they were still steady.

  Udo had wanted her to do something flashy, like the tiger again, to show off in front of Tuo Nu. Xiao Yen had disagreed. She didn't have the calm necessary for such a great beast tonight. She wasn't sure she could control even a rabbit, let alone fold anything.

  Xiao Yen wished she had more time. Maybe doing some of the forms, folding her body like she folded paper, would have helped. Sunset was imminent, and she needed to get the defenses for the camp set up before it was fully dark.

  She'd agreed on a hunting dog to circle the camp. She based the dog on one of the deer patterns she knew, heavy and strong through the body, but with light, thin paws. She realized her mistake after the first half-dozen folds, when she brought the legs out from the center mass of paper. The dog's paws would be too scrawny to support its body. She tried to refold the ends, but she didn't have enough paper to work with.

  So she started again. Her arms, though still steady, felt leaden. She was no longer in good shape to fold. She rolled the initial marking folds, trying to give more substance to the legs, and to give herself more room to work, but this time, the legs were unevenly thick. One front paw was like a club foot, while one of the back paws was just a twig.

  Xiao Yen took a deep breath. Should she start again? She could correct the club foot, some, but not the skinny one. Her deafening silence had leaked out a little. On the edges, she felt her calm returning. Folding was familiar to her, and though she was under pressure to perform, it still soothed her.

  She got out a third sheet of paper from her bag. Her arms trembled when she raised them. Her fingers felt drained of blood. Her calm circled her slowly, eating at the darkness of her panic. Instead of radiating out from her, it approached from the outside and worked its way inward. She lowered her arms and let the night speak to her, the distant crickets, a soft breeze rustling the pine needles, the whisperings of the occasional bat overhead. She breathed deeply, and felt places in her shoulders that she hadn't realized were tight, loosen. A wind sprang up and blew in her face, not strong, but noticeable. She ignored it and went back to her folding.

  Suddenly, she heard a crashing behind her. Xiao Yen scrambled to her feet.

  An elephant towered above her.

  Xiao Yen put her hand over her mouth to stop herself from screaming. The elephant trumpeted at her, lifting its long nose high over its head to proclaim its anger. Xiao Yen picked up her bag and held it in front of her while she took a step back. Why hadn't she finished the first piece? If she had, at least she'd have some protection.

  The elephant didn't lower its tusks and charge her. It raised its left ear and turned its head, as if it were listening for instructions from behind. Then it pulled up a clump of grass and put it in its mouth. Xiao Yen watched in fascination as it masticated and flapped its ears at her.

  Tuo Nu appeared behind the elephant, slapping it hard on the rump, saying something in a language Xiao Yen didn't understand; the mage's native dialect, she presumed. The elephant nodded and moved away. Xiao Yen was surprised at Tuo Nu's appearance. His face was pale even in the dark, and his hands shook.

  “I saw you were having difficulties,” he explained as he came up. “I know it was presumptuous, but I thought I would do the protection for tonight. It will give you time to practice, so you can do the defense for tomorrow night.”

  “That elephant is magic?” Xiao Yen asked. It affected the mundane world, seeming a natural part of it, actually. Tuo Nu must be a powerful mage indeed, though he sounded out of breath, as if he'd just run a long race. Was his magic so different? Did he work more closely with the elements?

  “Yes, I conjured it,” he said, taking deep breaths, struggling to keep his breath even. “It took a little effort.”

  Xiao Yen shook her head. What had she been thinking, to ever believe she could make a living as a mage? When there were such powerful mages already in the world? She walked silently next to Tuo Nu into the camp. Udo's eyes followed her, but he didn't say a word. Xiao Yen didn't know what to say to him.

  She sighed and went to her tent, wishing she was ten thousand li away. Her magic didn't affect the mundane world like Tuo Nu's. She didn't know if Fat Fang or Long Yen's creations were now as powerful as Tuo Nu's, if it was something to do with age, or with her being a girl, or if Tuo Nu's magic was that much different from hers.

  She lay down on her comforter and didn't cry, though she felt deep holes torn through her heart. She missed her luck, Wang Tie-Tie, Fu Be Be and Gan Ou. She resolved that she'd see her family soon. She'd warn them of the coming war, make them safe.

  Then she'd never leave home again.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Bao Fang

  “We're so attracted to each other,” Bing Yu confided, leaning closer to Xiao Yen. “The moon god must have tied our ankles together with a red ribbon when we were born.”

  Xiao Yen couldn't keep the shock out of her voice. “You've met your fiancé? Did your family arrange it?” She knew mores and customs were different at various levels of society, but she didn't think Governor Fang's family would be that dissimilar to her own.

  Bing Yu shook her head and laughed. “No, silly.” She looked behind her and on either side, scanning the crowds of people in the street for someone who might know her, before she continued, “We met in private. My father doesn't know.”

  “Oh,” Xiao Yen replied. She didn't know what else to say. How could Bing Yu do such a reckless thing? Her reputation would be ruined if anyone found out. Her father might renounce her and kick her out of their home.

  Bing Yu laughed again and said, “Xiao Yen! Your eyes are as round as your mouth saying ‘Oh.' You shouldn't be so shocked. Everyone meets before the wedding, these days.”

  “Without their family's knowledge?” Xiao Yen asked.

  “Shh,” Bing Yu said. “Keep your voice down. Everybody does it. No one talks about it.”

  Xiao Yen didn't ask any more questions as they walked through the market. It was nice to have a day off from school. She'd won the last large contest, and had gained the privilege of going to the city for three days. Though she was enjoying Bing Yu's company, Xiao Yen still felt guilty. She should be at home, with her family, since she saw them so infrequently. Her mother hadn't wanted her to go when Bing Yu had asked, but Wang Tie-Tie had overruled Fu Be Be, saying it was good for the family to have high connections. As Wang Tie-Tie spoke infrequently now, when she did say something, it carried a lot of weight.

  There seemed to be more people in the streets than Xiao Yen remembered from when she was a child. There were just as many shops crammed together, selling everything from fancy keys to bundles of candles to copper bowls and braziers. Xiao Yen's favorite shop was the big paper shop on the east side of the market square, which had everything from imported fragrant dragon paper, which was thick and had incense imbedded in it, to flimsy gold paper in the shape of coins that people burned to show respect for their ancestors.

  In addition to the shops, people sold goods on the side of the road. A few of them were merchants. Most of them looked as though they were selling their belongings, whatever they had with them.

&nbs
p; When Xiao Yen had asked Fu Be Be about them, her mother had sniffed and said, “Refugees. From the north. Don't go near them. They bring bad luck.”

  Master Wei had explained about the treaties the Emperor had signed with the kingdom of Tibet, to the west, and the kingdom of Turic, to the north. Some of the Turic horsemen, also known as the Uighiers, now ignored the treaty, and raided border towns, driving the people who lived there south.

  “Let's go to the silk shop,” Bing Yu said, taking her friend's arm.

  The shop was several streets away, down a skinny alley that twisted like a tangled ribbon. Two wide doors draped with undecorated but gaily colored cloth stood open to all. The shop seemed dark after the bright spring sunshine. Bolts of cloth lay everywhere. The center of the shop held a low table, covered with off-white muslin.

  Bing Yu paused in the doorway to take off her shoes, then waited for Xiao Yen to stop gawking and do the same. One clerk brought them slippers to be worn in the store, while a second clerk rushed through a door at the back of the shop.

  The proprietor came running out in a moment. He was a skinny man dressed in purple silk so rich Xiao Yen wanted to rub her cheek against it.

  “Ah, Fang Bing Yu!” he said, bowing deeply over his folded hands. “What an honor it is for you to visit our poor establishment again.” He turned to Xiao Yen and squinted at her, backlit by the light coming in from the street. “And may I have the honor of being introduced?” he asked.

  “This is my friend Fu Xi Wén,” Bing Yu announced. “She also needs a new jacket.”

  Xiao Yen and the proprietor exchanged deep bows.

  “Welcome to my humble shop,” he said then he peered behind Xiao Yen. “And your gracious mother?” he asked hopefully.

  “She's not with us this time.”

  “Oh,” said the proprietor, crestfallen.

  Xiao Yen hid her smile behind her hand. The shopkeeper knew Bing Yu had no money, and couldn't buy anything, even on credit, without her mother. They were just browsing that day, not buying.