Faster

by Alex Schuler

Sam looked over at Ted. He seemed lost, almost catatonic, staring at his notes.

  “That’s all the more reason for GM to be a leader with this technology,” Sam said. “I was admiring the fuel cell concepts you had in the lobby.”

  “Do you know why they’re in the lobby and not on the road?” David did not wait for Sam to respond. “Because, just like your robot cars, they were deemed not ready for prime time. If you ask me, they were another huge waste of our money.”

  “I found them to be rather elegant solutions.” Sam sighed and glanced up at David.

  “Expensive solutions to a problem nobody asked to be solved.” David shook his head in disappointment. “Are we done?”

  She flipped open her notepad. Just like Ted, she’d made a list of key points to raise at the GM meeting, based on lessons learned from their earlier outings this week. She sighed as she failed to see anything relevant to bring up.

  “I feel we’ve made a strong case for where the industry is headed.” She glanced at Ted. He looked up, but did not smile. She turned and faced David. “Can you at least tell me one good reason why you won’t even consider this technology?”

  “I’ll give you five. One. Nobody is going to want to be seen in a car with all that ugly gear strapped to the roof. Two. Before you tell me about downsizing, I can tell you that it will be decades before they can shrink lidar down to a manageable size. Three. The expense of lidar is cost-prohibitive and, just like the size issue, a long way from becoming affordable. Four. Unions will never allow it. I’m not talking about those jackasses that build our cars. I’m talking about the taxi and trucking unions. There’s no way they’re going to let some robot replace them. And last but not least, this is America. The home of apple pie, baseball, and cars. People love their cars and trucks. Why do you think we make so many of them? All shapes and sizes. Our biggest seller is a pickup truck, and most people don’t take advantage of half of what it’s capable of doing. Why do they buy it? For the same reason they buy a Corvette. It brings them joy. What joy is there in a robot car?”

  “I see,” she said. “Then I guess we’re done here.”

  Ted pulled his laptop closer and flicked off the dual-screen option that sent their presentation to the projector in the room. He quickly disconnected the cord and tossed the video cable aside. Jeff and the other man stood up and left the room without saying anything.

  “Ted, when you started this meeting, you told me your father worked at one of our plants,” David said. “Which one?”

  “Lordstown,” Ted replied. “My brothers, too.”

  “You must have grown up surrounded by car culture. It’s got to be in your blood. I’m surprised you’re on board with all of this.”

  “Because it’s the future. Someday you’ll see.”

  “Really?” David removed his glasses and used his tie to clean the lenses. “Tell me, Ted, what do you drive?”

  “Nothing. I sold my car to pursue this dream.” Ted flicked his laptop closed. “Sam’s right. GM was on the right track with those concept cars. The same with the EV-1. Someone will be first to perfect this technology. And when they do, they will change the world.”

  “What did you drive?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “What car did you sell to chase your dream?”

  “A Mustang GT.”

  “A Ford?” David frowned, stood up, and headed toward the door, leaving the folder with Sam and Ted’s materials behind. “Lordstown builds Chevys, and you’re driving around in a Ford. I’m sure your dad must be proud of you.”

  “You stopped building the Camaro in 2002,” Ted said. “I went to the competition to get what I wanted. That’s what we’ve been trying to explain to you. The future is autonomous cars, whether you like it or not.”

  “Nobody wants an electric or self-driving car.” David stopped and stared directly at Ted. “Even a shitty Mustang. And they never will.”

  21

  The heater installed in the outer wall of the Holiday Inn hotel room clicked softly before the fan roared to life. The hot air spewing from the vents smelled of burned dust. Luggage bags covered the queen bed closest to the heater. Sam sat on the end of the bed beside her rollerbag, staring at the rumpled sheets of the other bed. Images flashed before her of the moments of passion she’d shared with Ted, and she wondered if she had made a mistake by coming. Maybe she shouldn’t have come—or agreed to work on anything with Ted. She shook the thoughts out of her mind and tried to concentrate on the phone call she was having with her daughter instead.

  “That’s right, Dani, Thanksgiving will be here soon. Will you help me bake cookies to share with everyone?”

  The bathroom door squeaked as it swung open. Ted emerged, carrying his toiletry bag. He tossed it onto the nightstand beside the clock and sat down at the end of the bed facing Sam.

  “Of course we can make chocolate chip. We can bake whatever kind you want.” Sam listened intently as her daughter described the cookies she’d had on her last playdate. “Mommy misses you. I’ll be home tonight before you go to bed. Can you put Gram-Gram back on?”

  Sam did her best to ignore Ted, but she could see him packing his bag out of the corner of her eye. They’d said very little since waking up earlier that morning. Moments later, her mother came on.

  “Hi, Mom. Thanks again for caring for Dani this week. No more travels for me. That’s a promise.” As she talked, she stood up and checked her bags piled on the bed. Everything was packed and ready to go. She tugged at the zippers and made sure she knew just where her driver’s license was. She stopped and looked at Ted as she answered her mother’s question. “I don’t know what will happen. Thanksgiving and Christmas are all I can focus on for now. Listen, let me get going. I don’t want to miss my flight. Love you.”

  She ended the call and tossed her phone into her handbag. The only sound in the room was the hum and rattle of the heater.

  “Sounds like you had a nice call with your mom and daughter,” Ted said as he sat at the end of the other bed.

  “I was surprised my mother called me so early in the morning, but it was nice to talk to them.” She pulled her bags to the edge of the bed. “So, what will you do next? Are you going back to DSU?”

  “Pittsburgh? I told you Detroit was a one-way ticket, Sam. I have no plans to go back. I never want to see Rusty again.”

  “Then, where will you go?” She briefly looked into his eyes, but immediately averted her gaze as she checked her bags again. “You must have something else lined up.”

  “I . . . I don’t know.” He sat on the edge of his bed and lowered his head. “I really didn’t have a backup plan. I never thought all three companies would reject us.”

  “How could you not have a backup plan?” She cautiously took a seat beside him. “Did you really think they were going to offer you a job?”

  “I did. The technology we built is the future. I figured I would have to stay in the hotel and keep the rental a bit longer until I sorted out job offers.”

  “Job offers? That was your plan? But when I first got here, we agreed that wasn’t our priority.”

  “You agreed it wasn’t your priority, Sam. Some of us have to work for a living. I don’t have some loving family with tons of money waiting to welcome me home with open arms.” He briefly glanced at her before looking away. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

  She shook her head in frustration and sighed.

  “I bet the farm, Sam. I sold my car to get to DSU. I drained my savings while staying there. My bank account is almost empty, and my credit cards are close to being maxed out.”

  “I had no idea.” She slid her arm around him and began to caress his back. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “You’ve told me a thousand times that I take too many risks. I didn’t want you to know how far I was willing to go. I thought that might put even more pressure
on you this week.”

  “You should have confided in me, Ted.” She ran her fingernails through the part in his hair. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “There is.” He reached up and took her hand and kissed it. “You can tell me what you want to do about us.”

  “Us?” She recoiled, sliding her hand from his. “Ted, how . . . how can there be an us? I live in California, and you . . . you don’t have a home.”

  “I told you, I thought I would build a future here. Maybe even with you.”

  “With me?”

  “Sam, I wasn’t sure what would happen between us this week. I’m not talking about the meetings with Detroit. I’m talking about us. Ever since Burning Man, I’ve been unable to get you out of my head. Staying with you here, making love, . . . this has been amazing. You’ve got to see that, too? Don’t you? But you seem so distant, especially this morning. What is it you’re thinking? What do you want?”

  Sam lowered her head and looked away. She felt her heart begin to race as she tried to search for the right words. She had planned every aspect of the Detroit meetings, but she hadn’t planned for what had happened with Ted. She now had to ask herself what to do next.

  “I . . . I don’t know.”

  “You don’t know? Where do you see our relationship going?”

  “Relationship? Ted, we barely know each other.”

  “Oh, so, sex this week meant nothing to you? Was I just some hookup?”

  She stood up and shocked herself by smacking him across his cheek.

  “How dare you!”

  She spun around, gathering her bags from the bed frantically. Her hands shook, and the palm of her right hand stung from the blow.

  “I’m sorry, Sam.” Ted tried to put a comforting arm around her, but she yanked her shoulder away. “I . . . I deserved that.”

  “I told you I haven’t been with anyone since I got pregnant with Dani. Anyone!”

  “And I told you I don’t sleep around. What’s happened between us is special, Sam. It meant a lot to me.” He took a few steps back. “Why are you suddenly shutting me out?”

  “I was worried it was a line we shouldn’t cross. I was thinking ahead. Where it could all lead.”

  “But we did cross it. And it was beautiful.” He paused to take a deep breath. He rubbed his hand along the cheek she had smacked. “Why are you pulling away? We joke about you being the slow turtle, but you’re more like a clam. Closed off and hard to open.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “No? Then why have you barely looked at me today? Why won’t you tell me what’s going on? Why do you hate your birthday?”

  “What?” Sam felt her entire body begin to tremble and quiver. Her eyes filled with tears. “What does me not wanting to celebrate my birthday have to do with anything?”

  “It’s another way you’ve closed yourself off. You can trust me, Sam. Show me that you can open up to me.”

  She paced back and forth, her breathing short and measured. She shook her head as she debated what to say, and even if she should say anything at all. She looked over at him, sitting on the edge of the bed. His blue eyes pierced her heart.

  “Fine.” She sat beside him but could not look at his face. She kept her gaze on her hands as she nervously rubbed her fingers together. “Remember how I told you that I lost a best friend to a drunk driver?”

  “Sure.”

  “Well, that drunk driver was . . . was me.” She was full on crying now, that old familiar rush of guilt and loss consuming her. She slowly removed the heart pendant around her neck, clutching it in her hand. As she wiped her tears away, she looked at Ted and said, “I . . . I wear this so I won’t forget.”

  He pulled her toward him and wrapped his arms around her, feeling her shake as she sobbed. She relaxed a bit with his touch and composed herself enough to keep going.

  “It was my sweet sixteen party. My mom had hosted this huge party for me, with dozens of friends and family. My best friend, Jackie, and I were rebels back then. Especially her. She kept spiking our drinks when nobody was watching. Anyway, I didn’t have my driver’s license yet. Neither of us did. We ended up in the driveway. Jackie stole the keys to my mom’s car. We somehow thought it would be a grand idea to take a little drive, just around the block. Before I even got half a block down the road, I got too close to the ditch and flipped the car. Jackie’s seatbelt wasn’t on and . . . and . . .” she couldn’t bring herself to tell him the rest.

  She just sat there sobbing into his chest the memories of that dreadful night stirred up and fresh. Shaking her head, she wiped her tears away as she pulled back from him.

  “It was a stupid, stupid accident,” she continued, placing the necklace beside her. “The pendant used to be a charm on Jackie’s bracelet.”

  “Sam, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.”

  “I . . . I was never charged for what happened. My mother lied to protect me. It was just down the road from our house and I ran to her when it happened. She told the police she had been the one driving. I was so upset, so scared, I just stood there and watched my mother make everything go away. It’s haunted me my entire life.”

  “You were young, Sam. You didn’t intend for that to happen. God, I’m so sorry.”

  Sam wiped her face dry, stood up, and walked over to her bags. “Well, anyway, there you have it. The clam is open, okay? The turtle stuck her head out. Happy?”

  “I didn’t mean to dig up painful memories, Sam. I was only trying to let you know you can open up to me. I wanted you to be comfortable with me. With us. And what may lie ahead.”

  Without saying a word, she turned her attention back to her bags. Once again, she checked the pockets to confirm everything was packed and secured. She glanced at the clock to see if it was time to leave for the airport. She suddenly wanted nothing more than to get as far away as possible. Just then she felt Ted’s arm around her shoulder.

  “Look at me,” he said. “We’re good together. Don’t deny it. Connections like ours are rare. Can’t we at least talk?”

  “I can’t do this, Ted. Not again.”

  “Again?”

  Sam’s body trembled as the tears returned. Everything was a blur as she scooped up her bags, tossing what she could over her shoulders and flinging her rollerbag onto the floor.

  “Wait, are you going? Let me at least drive you to the airport, Sam. We can talk in the car on the way there.”

  “No. No, Ted. I need to go. I . . . I just need to go.”

  She rushed past him and stopped at the door. She struggled to open it while keeping her bags from crashing to the floor. He ran to her side to help.

  “Please, Sam. Don’t leave like this.”

  “I’m sorry, Ted. I have to. I can’t do this. I can’t.”

  She took one last look into his deep blue eyes. For a brief moment, she let herself imagine a future with him. Deep down, she knew he was right. They were indeed good together. But then she reminded herself of Dani and her mom, and Dani’s father—and her dreams of being with Ted vanished in a puff. Part of her still wanted to drop everything and collapse into his arms. With new resolve, though, she pushed that thought away, lowered her head, turned, and left the room.

  ***

  Ted stared at the cell phone cradled in his hands. Sam had left the hotel at 9:30 a.m. He was beginning to feel a little unhinged. Desperate. In the hour since she had walked out the door, he’d tried her phone multiple times but only got voicemail. His eyes burned and felt swollen. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried so hard. His mind was racing. What was he going to do? Who could he call? Where could he go? He knew Rusty and DSU were an option he had no interest in pursuing. Kyle Fisher! He might have something for Ted. It only took a few rings before Kyle answered.

  “Kyle!” Ted tried to sound upbeat. “It’s Ted Wolff.
Did I wake you?”

  “Ted? No, of course you didn’t. Where are you?”

  “I’m in Detroit. Well, Royal Oak, to be exact. Sam and I came out here to see the big three. Show them what we did out at DARPA.”

  “How’d that go?”

  “They’re, uh, curious. You know these old companies. They tend to be a bit cautious.”

  “I see.”

  “Anyway, I’m not sure when they’re going to come around to sign up with us. Sam had to get back home to California. I was thinking that, well, maybe I could get my old job back. Just for the time being.”

  He waited for Kyle to respond, his heart pounding through the silence that followed. Kyle clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, followed by a long, drawn-out sigh.

  “Ted, you know I love you. You’re a brilliant engineer. But I can’t put you back in Nevada.”

  “Are you still doing those student workers? I’m happy to help play apprentice. You can cut my pay if there’s a money issue.”

  “It’s not that, Ted. Kevin is really pissed about what you took from the Nixon shop. Ted, you took more than just the magnetic dampers.”

  Ted lowered the phone and closed his eyes as images of what he’d shoved into that oversized cardboard box flashed up. “I took what was mine, Kyle.”

  “That’s not how Kevin sees it.”

  He felt his hands begin to tremble. “My old notebooks . . . I can prove the lidar is mine. Don’t believe Kevin. He modified my designs behind my back. He’s . . . he’s a liar.”

  “See, Ted. How can I have you working at the shop with someone you call a liar?”

  “I’m sorry, Kyle.” His voice began to shake. His world was collapsing, and he didn’t know how to recover. “Maybe I can call Kevin—to smooth things over?”

  “I’m sorry, Ted. I’ve spent the past several weeks calming Kevin down. He wanted to sue you. He wanted me to sue you. Lawsuits are never a good thing. They’re always bad for business.”

  “Please, Kyle. I can do better. Maybe another shop? You must have something open somewhere else. You have operations all over the world.”