“Enough!” Nate yelled in a booming voice from behind them. “If it wasn’t for her I would still be in jail.”
“You wouldn’t have been in there in the first place if she hadn’t called the police,” Lauren yelled at Nate, but kept her eyes focused on me.
“I don’t blame her for what she did. I am a monster. I have always known that. She’s here because I asked her to come. I need to speak to her alone.”
“But Nate, she—” Lauren’s father turned to him, starting to protest. Nate cut him off by raising his hand.
My mouth fell open as I watched the scene before me. These big forty-year-old men were taking orders from a guy that looked eighteen. I was beginning to think that he was older than he appeared to be. It was the most bizarre display I had ever witnessed. Ever since I had seen him change into a wolf I felt like I was in a dream. I wondered when I would wake up.
“It’s okay, Will. I think I can handle a tiny eighteen-year-old girl. I’ll be fine.” He spoke with so much kindness and love to all of them, I could see why they were so protective. All of them nodded to him and glared at me as they walked out the door.
Suddenly, I was alone with a person I had seen turn into a wolf. The room felt very small.
“Are you afraid?”
“No.” I hated that my voice wavered.
“Then why are you holding onto the door handle?” he asked, pointing behind me.
I looked down and sure enough my hand was there, white-knuckled, on the doorknob. I pulled my hand back, gazing down at my feet.
“I won’t hurt you. I could never do that. I love you.” He stood up and walked around the desk to lean against it, shoving his hands in the pockets of his cargo pants.
I flinched at his words, but stayed silent.
“It disgusts you to hear that, doesn’t it?” He sighed and shook his head, pushing himself off of the desk. “What a difference a couple of days make.” He took a few steps toward me.
Instinct had me take a step back.
He stopped, a look of pain flashed over his face. “I …won’t, couldn’t…hurt you. I promise.”
I had to stop this. It was Nate. The most caring, gentle person I had ever met. I knew that, I could see it in his eyes. But the problem was, every time I closed my eyes I saw his body explode into that snarling wolf, growling and chomping his teeth, ready to kill.
“Can you talk to me? If we discuss what’s bothering you, it might help.” His voice was very soft, as if raising it might scare me off.
“I just can’t get past seeing you as a snarling wolf attacking someone.”
He laughed. I looked up at him sharply. “Of course I was growling and attacking. I was protecting you from Rowan. He killed my father, my friend. And he was going to kill you. I’m sorry you saw it, but I will not apologize for protecting you.”
I still couldn’t think of what to say, so I stared out the large bay window at the woods beyond the house.
“If it’s the image you can’t get rid of, would you like a better one?”
I gazed at him curiously. “What do you mean?”
“The wolf in the bushes by your patio, watching you. You talked to him. Were you afraid of him?”
“How did you know about that?”
He smiled. Then I realized what he meant. “That was you?”
He nodded.
I didn’t know how to feel about that, I told the wolf my private thoughts about Nate because I thought he couldn’t understand. Apparently I was wrong.
He started toward me once more and again I backed up, this time bumping into the door. I had nowhere else to go.
He was in front of me in a flash.
“How did you do that?” I gasped.
He smiled and shrugged. “I’m fast.”
I tried to turn my head away from him, but he took hold of my face with both hands, making me look into his eyes. I struggled, trying to get out of his grip. “No, stop. It’s me.” He let go of my face. Brushing my cheek with his thumb, he whispered, “It’s me.” Then he grabbed my hands, forcing me to touch his face. “It’s me,” he repeated. “I’m still the same person you touched so many times before. Look into my eyes. Do you see a monster?”
I did as he said and stared into his eyes. They were not the yellow ones I had seen in the bushes, nor when he attacked Rowan. They were the deep blue eyes that I had stared into so many times and wanted to get lost in. They were the eyes that gazed into mine when he said he loved me and the eyes that glared at the football bullies when he protected me.
A tear escaped, rolling down my cheek. “I’m so sorry I doubted you. I’m so sorry.” I wrapped my arms around him, breathing in his scent. I sobbed on his shoulders until my tears went dry, leaving his blue denim shirt damp. He hugged me tightly, just as I needed him to, gently rubbing the back of my hair, whispering quietly that it was okay and he loved me.
How could I have doubted him? He was Nate; my Nate. What was I thinking?
I finally pulled away and was relieved to see that the pain on his face was gone. In its place was wonder and love. “Can you ever forgive me for what I did to you?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“There is nothing to forgive. I should have told you what I was. If I had done that before you saw me as a wolf, you might have understood. But I didn’t want you to know that side of me.”
“I need to know all of you, or I don’t know you at all. All those things you told me, your last name and your family were lies, everything was a lie. How can I believe what you say now?” I pushed his arms and stepped away from him, starting to get angry. I stopped by the window, turning to face him with my arms crossed in front of me.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be with me. And I was right, as soon as you saw what I was, you called the police.”
“That’s because I didn’t know Conner, or whatever his name is, was a werewolf too. I only saw what you were and I thought you killed those people. I don’t know how I would have reacted if you told me sooner, but we’ll never know because you didn’t trust my love for you.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but stopped. “Your right, I’m sorry. I should have trusted you.” He leaned against the arm of the couch. “I promise that I won’t lie again. I will always tell you the truth. That is, if you’ll have me back. If you can still love me in spite of what I am.” His face was tortured as if he already knew my answer.
Who was I kidding? I couldn’t live without him. He gave my life purpose. Before he came into my life, I had no one. He showed me a new world in Riley House and for that I would always be grateful. I walked over and touched his face. “You inspire people to be better. You make them want to help others. You are the best person I know. I don’t care what you are. Of course I love you. How could I not?”
He smiled so beautifully it took my breath away. “I love you so much. Can I kiss you now?” he asked, uncertain of what my answer would be.
“You’d better.”
He leaned down and touched his lips to mine. Every doubt I had melted away. It was Nate, whatever he was. He was mine and always would be.
Chapter Twenty-two
Answers
When the door opened, we pulled apart. He took my hand and held it. Lauren and her father walked in. Lauren glanced at our hands and smiled, all her anger washed away. “I knew you wouldn’t care what he was,” she said. “But why did you call the police?”
“When I saw him change, he was chasing what I believed was an innocent person.” I lowered my head in shame and continued on in a whisper. “I was sure he was the one killing the people in the park.”
Lauren narrowed her eyes, staring coldly at Nate. “I told you that you needed to tell her the truth.”
Nate sighed, shaking his head. “Fine, Lauren, you were right and I was wrong. Happy now?”
She smiled, falling into the plush leather chair behind her. “Yes, I am, actually. I’m always right. Just like I was all these years bugging you to make a move with
Megan.”
Nate rolled his eyes. “Is there something you needed, Will? I have a feeling Megan has a lot of questions and I thought I’d take her down to the cottage so we could have some privacy.”
“Yes. This just arrived.” Will was carrying a small box wrapped in brown paper. He walked over and set it on the desk.
Nate let go of my hand and followed Will. He ripped the paper off, scrunching it up, leaving a crinkled ball on the desk and then took the lid off the box. He pulled out tiny pieces of foam and then a gun; a shiny, silver handgun.
I gasped. “What are you going to do with that?”
He looked at me, his eyes filled with uncertainty and I knew that he was about to tell me something he didn’t want to. “When Rowan killed my father, he left me a note and told me he was leaving town. I could have tracked him, but I had no way of killing him. Werewolves don’t die very easily. I met a man after I lost Sadie, about fifty years ago, named Joseph. He is also a werewolf and is opposed to killing humans like I am. Together we have been tracking Rowan and trying to find a way to kill him.
“You see, I loathed the woman that turned me. Because of that I had little knowledge of what I was and what I could do. All that I knew, I learned from my friend Sadie and she was killed before she could teach me that much. The legends are true. Silver is the only thing that can hurt us. This gun shoots silver bullets: Joseph and I made twelve of them. When I heard about the killings I called him and asked if he could ship the gun and bullets to me. He will come and help if we need him, but I don’t want to burden him with my problems just yet.”
I learned a lot in his speech, but one thing stuck out: he met someone fifty years ago. How old is he?
“Um… Nate?” My voice shook with apprehension.
He was talking quietly to Will and leaning over the gun. “Hmm?” he said, distracted, not looking at me.
I glanced at Lauren and then her father, unsure if I should ask in front of them. Since they made no move to leave, I asked my question anyway. “How old are you?”
He looked up at me and smiled, then glanced at the others. “I think it’s time I took Megan and explained everything. We’ll deal with this later. But I’m going to bring this with me.” He nodded to the gun. “I don’t want Lauren here shooting her foot off.” He placed the gun back in the box and took my hand with his free one. As we moved past Lauren, she stuck her tongue out at Nate. He chuckled, giving her a friendly pat on the head.
I was shocked at how normal the cottage was. How could it stay the same when everything had changed so drastically? My extra hairbrush still sat on the end table where I had left it two weeks before when Nate rushed me out. Our picture from the shelter was still the only one on the mantel. The movie case I left here was open on the shelf below the TV. And I noticed the corner of the book I had been searching for last week under the couch. I bent down to pick it up and tossed it. It fell onto the coffee table with a smack.
I sat down on the sofa, waiting. He placed the gun in a safe that was hidden behind the TV and then went into the kitchen to retrieve two sodas from the refrigerator. After he handed one to me, he sat on the chair beside the sofa.
“Are you finished stalling?” I asked, pulling the tab on my can. Fizz floated out and dark bubbly liquid gathered around the edge. I slurped it up as I waited for him to answer.
He smiled sheepishly. “I know I need to tell you everything, but I’m afraid once I do you’ll change your mind.” He opened his drink and took a sip.
“I need to know,” I said, staring at him.
“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “I was turned into a werewolf in eighteen ninety. I was eighteen years old.” He paused, knowing I would need a minute to process what he had just said.
Holy crap! That meant he was over a hundred years old. I stood up, making my way to stand in front of the window, holding my can while I watched a seagull dive towards the water. Waves crashed against the small motorboat Nate kept beside his dock. The wind blew through the two maple trees at the edge of the water. When I realized I was stalling, just like he had, I took a deep breath. “Go on,” I said quietly, but didn’t turn around.
“I lived here in Creekford, in the house we were just in actually. It was a lot smaller back then, but that was home. I was courting a girl named Lucy and had hoped to marry her one day.
“One night I took her for a walk, but somehow we ended up in the meadow. Once we realized where we were and that we were unsupervised, we turned around, starting back for the path. It was a full moon and we were enjoying the pretty evening. I looked away from her for only a moment. When I glanced back, she was lying on the ground with a wolf hovering above her. She was dead.”
When he paused, I turned around to see him glancing down at the floor. His face was full of grief. I could tell that it was difficult to relive the past and I felt guilty for making him, but I needed to know. He lifted his head and seeing me facing him, gave me a weak smile before continuing. “It came for me, but I got away. But not before it took a bite out of my leg. I told everyone she was killed by a wolf, even though I knew it was more than that. Besides the odd coloring, it was bigger than any wolf I had ever seen and it stood up on its hind legs. Yet I said nothing of that, knowing that they wouldn’t believe me.
“Over the next couple of weeks I noticed new unexplained abilities. I could outrun a horse, jump off the barn roof without a scratch and my sense of smell was heightened.
“I was working at my father’s general store when a woman named Charlotte came in. She was very pretty and spoke with an Irish accent. She told me she was the one who killed Lucy and because she bit me, I was now what she was. She told me that there was supposed to be a full moon that night and she wanted me to meet her because I would change into a wolf. I didn’t believe her, until I saw her eyes change color, from blue to yellow.
“After she left, I started to feel sick, so I went home. The pain was horrible, but I managed to get to sleep. When I woke up hours later, I started to change. I took off into the woods to meet her. I didn’t want her near my family. That night I changed and I watched her kill someone I knew. She would have killed my friends if I hadn’t stopped her. After that, I left my family until I could control the urges.”
He stood up and walked over to stand beside me, I turned to look at him. His gaze was intense. “You see, when she killed that boy, I wanted to join her. As a wolf you don’t see a person, you see prey that is easy to catch. I didn’t trust myself around my family, so I left. I went into a depression and stopped eating, until the night I turned. I wasn’t keeping track of the time and I didn’t know that it was the full moon. I barely escaped my house before I changed. But as soon as I did, the wolf took over. I had starved myself and because of that the wolf was crazed. I killed a man that night. The wolf had taken over and when I woke up I didn’t remember anything. The next day I heard about the death of a man who had fallen down drunk at the edge of the woods. He was found mauled by an animal. That’s when the events of the previous night came back.”
I looked away from him, not because his words disgusted me, but because I pitied him and I didn’t want him to know it.
“I have learned to control it. That’s why I eat so much. If I become the wolf when I’m hungry, it controls me.” He stopped and touched my arm gently, silently asking me to look at him. I did and I saw the pain still etched on his face. “I hate telling you this, but I promised you no more lies. Can you forgive me?”
As I turned my head back to look out the window, I saw him take his chair once again. He was giving me the space I needed to digest all that he had told me. He never asked for any of this and he didn’t intend to kill anyone. I wondered if that was why he helped people so much, to make up for his past actions. I had a feeling I might be able to forgive him, but he would never forgive himself. I could see how his past tortured him.
When I turned around again, his head was in his hands as he waited for my answer. I approached him, lifting his hands
from his face and kissed him with all the emotion I felt. He welcomed it, returned the kiss and wrapped his arms around me with a desperate need for forgiveness.
Out of breath, I pulled away. “There’s nothing to forgive. But it doesn’t matter what I think. You need to forgive yourself. You’ve done nothing intentionally. You were a victim and instead of succumbing to the wolf’s urges, like the other werewolves you told me about, you’ve fought it. And look at what you’ve done with your life. You help people. Not many humans care about people the way you do. I think it’s time to forgive yourself.”
“I haven’t told you everything. I killed again, thirty years later. It was so stupid. I knew I had to eat, but a couple of days before I changed I was so busy. I only took time out for a small dinner. My father had me opening a new store and we weren’t ready. I had to work day and night to get it open in time. Work was all I could think of and I forgot what was most important—to eat and the full moon.
“It’s no excuse, but after that I was obsessed with the homeless man I killed. I found out he had an ex-wife who wasn’t doing so well. She was living in a poor area, working two jobs and still couldn’t afford food for her children.” He paused, taking a breath. “I found her work in our company and she was able to quit the other jobs and move to a better area. But after that I started wondering about other people that didn’t have enough money. I was like you. I always had plenty and never had to worry. But after I found her and saw where she lived, it opened my eyes and I eventually started Riley House.”
“That was you? I heard the story about of one of Lauren’s ancestors starting it. But I can’t believe I’m dating that person.”
He tilted his head to the side. “Does my age bother you?”
I sighed. “Maybe a little, but I’ll get over it. Have there been others?”
I knew he understood me. “No. I learned my lesson. I eat a lot. I never want the wolf to control me again.”
“Why did you come to my house as a wolf?”
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