Afraid to Dream

by Tianna Xander

  "Are you telling me…?" I couldn't say it. I couldn't voice the words. The whole idea was too bizarre, too farfetched.

  "Atlantis?" She grinned. "That's what they say. Though they've never called themselves Atlantians. I wonder if that was all just a legend they started to keep people away from the ship. After all, most of the legends say that Atlantis was off the coast of Greece, not Iceland. They scuttled the ship and it's been underwater for so very long, it looks nothing like it once did. It's a huge reef now. They're sure no one will ever find it." She shrugged. "Or if they do, they won't know what it is that they've found."

  I shook my head, wondering how many things I was going to learn in the next few minutes. "And?"

  "They know where it is and they can bring it up, if they think they can make it work. But I don't even think they want to try any more. Most of them think of Earth as home now. Not to mention there are women here."

  "Why are you telling me this? What has this got to do with what's happened to Matty and why Darius has become a big pain in my ass?" I didn't mention her brother's emotional revelation because it was just to weird to contemplate.

  "The Cartuoteys are aliens. And we think that Matty has been taken by the rogues."

  "I never once said anything about believing in aliens and what the hell are rogues?"

  "But you did say something about believing in vampires and werewolves and other legendary creatures. And that's what I've been trying to tell you. The Cartuoteys are vampires. The rogues are vampires gone bad. They are Cartuoteys who have turned humans into vampires, or worse."

  I was almost afraid to ask, but I had to know what could be worse than being turned into a vampire and having to drink blood. Yech!

  "Being turned into a revenant is worse than being a vampire." She continued at my curious glance. "I guess the best way to describe it, is to say a revenant is a ghoul. They live off insects and the blood of animals that they can catch and any poor unsuspecting humans the rogues bring to them."

  I guess the expression on my face gave my thoughts away because she held up her hand before I could say anything.

  "Don't sit there thinking I've lost my mind. Everything I've told you is the truth. They hid their ship so they could resurface it to go home one day. The thing is, they've found out that they don't really want to go home. Most all of their people are gone. The women especially. That's why Darius is so protective of you. If you think he's bad, you should see his brother Damir." She shook her head. "The man is a total Neanderthal. I'm just glad I'm not his mate. If I am, I may just kill myself."

  I rolled my eyes. Like I would believe she would do something like that. "I don't know about his brother, but I can vouch for Darius being a total jerk. If that man throws me over his shoulder again, there's going to be hell to pay."

  She just smirked. "Wait till you've known him a while. Give him a chance. He may just grow on you."

  "Ha! Like a nasty rash?" That's how I thought of the man, at any rate--a nuisance that I wanted to be rid of as soon as possible.

  "Somehow, I think he would take exception to the fact that you think of him as a rash," she said with a giggle.

  "Tough. The man is overbearing, stubborn and a general pain in my ass." I crossed my arms and scowled. "I don't know where he gets off thinking he can just carry me away like he did. Then he has the nerve to tell me to stay put in his house where it's safe? I don't think so." I refused to tell her that I reacted to the big jerk like some cheap floozy. The last thing I wanted was for her to think I like being manhandled. My mind was still rattled from being hung upside-down, that's all. People did goofy things after their blood has rushed to their heads.

  I have no aspirations to continue my acquaintance with a man who thinks nothing of throwing me over his shoulder and threatening to discipline me for fighting off the advances of a complete stranger. You might not like being manhandled, but you like the man who was doing it. I scowled, told my inner monologue to shut up and returned my attention to Cassie when she cleared her throat.

  "Um… Did you say he told you to stay at his house?" She glanced nervously toward the front door.

  "Yeah." I snorted. "Like I'm going to listen to that big bully. Who the hell does he think he is, anyway?" I ignored Cassie's ever widening eyes. I don't know why she reacted that way, it's not like she'd never heard me swear before.

  "It's not who I think I am that you need to worry about. It is what I am that you need only concern yourself with. I am your mate. This is something with which you must come to terms."

  I stiffened at the sound of his buttery smooth voice behind me. How does someone so big move so quietly? I ignored the tingling feeling in my breasts and the heat that pooled in my lower abdomen. I hated that I could react to his voice so fast and so completely. My heart raced and I practically panted, just knowing the big goof stood behind me.

  "I told you to stay at my home, mate. Why did you disobey me?"

  "Disobey? Disobey? Just who do you think you are?" I asked then stood to spin around and glare at him. "I'm no shrinking marigold to just jump at your beck and call or obey your every command, dammit!"

  "I believe the term is shrinking violet, courimeo."

  "I don't give a good damn if it's an orchid!" I fisted my hands on my hips, doing my best to ignore my body's reaction to him. "I'm not your woman, your mate, your daughter, your sister or any other female you think you can boss around. So you'd better get used to not having your way around me, mister." I narrowed my eyes and grinned at him. "In fact, I've decided to make it my life's work to see that you never get your way where I'm concerned."

  I crossed my arms over my breasts when I saw his gaze wander down over my chest. The last thing I wanted was for him to see my reaction to him. I hated that my body responded to him the way it did. My nipples hardened and tingled, heat pooled in my abdomen and my womb clenched. I tried to ignore the pulsing of my clit as he stood and glared at me with the promise of retribution.

  Chapter Six

  I glared right back, jutting my chin out. I refused to let the man intimidate me. If he thought he was getting a meek little woman to do whatever he wanted, he had another think coming. Being neither meek, nor little, I decided to give this jerk a run for his money.

  "Look, mister. I wouldn't screw you with another woman's pussy, so you can just get that idea out of your head right now." God, I can only hope he doesn't see that for the lie it is. My clit spasmed, needing contact. I wanted--no needed--the touch of his fingers on my flesh. I took a deep breath and concentrated on his nose. Noses aren't sexy, so I figured that was a safe bet.

  Cassie, bless her, jumped in and saved the day. Well, she saved the minute anyway. "It's my fault she's here, Darius. She had to come to me when she heard about Matty. She's my best friend." She held out her hands. "You surely wouldn't begrudge me the company of my best friend and the closest thing I have in this world to a sister during a trying time such as this?"

  I could have kissed her for taking his attention away from me.

  He turned and gave her a little half bow. "I apologize, Cassie. You are correct. I should not begrudge you this time with my mate."

  "I am not your mate." I nearly growled the words. "When and if I ever decide to tie my life with another person, I fully expect that person to be human." I walked up to him and poked him in the chest with my index finger. "I refuse, I repeat, I refuse to be forced into a relationship with anyone." I scowled. "Why aren't you out looking for her brother?"

  He gave me a look that almost shouted his exasperation with me and I rolled my eyes. So he was upset, big friggin' deal. The man better get used to my temper if he was going to insist on trying to build a relationship with me. I say let the big jerk suffer. It's good for him. Suffering builds character, or so I've heard.

  He stared at me, his green eyes practically glittering.

  Something told me I should be afraid of the implications of that look, but I shrugged off my apprehension and squared my shoulders, r
eady to take whatever it was he could dish out.

  Suffering builds character? Hmm… I shall have to remember that, mate. His gaze locked with mine, smoldering.

  I shivered. Something told me he was going to make me suffer to build my character.

  He smiled, his teeth flashing white against the tan of his too handsome face. You shall suffer, Lily. I shall drive you to the edge of your climax over and over until you beg me for release. He moved closer, reaching up to trail a gentle finger down my cheek. Only after I have taken you to the edge so many times that you beg for your climax, will I choose to give you fulfillment. He leaned closer, the heat of his body radiating against me as his moss-green gaze bored into mine.

  I swallowed thickly, wiping my damp palms on my legs. How could a guy be so hot and so overbearing at the same time? I wanted him and I wanted to deny him all at once. He meant every word of what he just said and I knew it. I felt his resolve deep inside me and I shivered with both anticipation and dread.

  Cassie's hand appeared between us and she snapped her fingers. "A word here and there is okay, but carrying on complete silent conversations in the presence of others is rude, you know."

  I blinked, backed up a few steps and rubbed the goose bumps from my arms. I don't know how the man managed to do it, but he made me both hate him and want him at the same time. I shook my head slowly and wondered what the heck had come over me to make me alternately want to kick him and jump his bones. I stared up at him and licked my suddenly dry lips.

  His eyes glittered, the color almost emerald. I knew he wanted me more than I could possibly imagine, and if I were truthful, at least with myself, I would admit that I wanted him, too. I wanted him with everything in me, but I forced myself to fight it, to fight him and this ever strengthening need to feel him inside me.

  Of course you want me, you are my mate. It is only natural that you feel the need for our bodies to unite as one.

  "That's it!" I grabbed Cassie's arm and dragged her away from him. "I'm going to kick him," I hissed, glancing back at him over my shoulder. "Have you ever met anyone so arrogant, bossy and pigheaded in your life?" I held up my hand. "Forget it, you have your brothers. Of course you have." I closed my eyes and tilted my head back at his knowing chuckle. "God, please give me the strength to deal with idiots, morons and jerks who think they own me."

  Swallowing my anger, I turned to him and batted my lashes, hoping to catch him off guard. My gaze traveled down his large frame and I couldn't help but notice he stood stiff, his hands fisted at his sides. His lean, hard body called out to mine and I didn't know how long I could resist the temptation to reach out and touch him. I wanted him more than I ever thought possible. More than I ever wanted another man before in my life. I think that's what compelled me to fight him so hard.

  I struggled against the urge to close my eyes and imagine what it would be like with him. To feel his gentle hands brushing over my skin, his lips pressed against my slamming pulse as he suckled my neck. I wanted the heat of his mouth closing over the tips of my breasts, drawing the hard nubs into his mouth, nibbling gently.

  Just thinking about it, about what it would be like in his arms, to have him hold me, make love with me. To feel protected by him even as he drove into me made me want him more--need him more than I ever thought possible.

  Just stop it! You aren't some mindless hussy out to screw every man you meet. I felt my face heat. Flames licked at my skin, whether it was from my own lustful thoughts or the dark, sensual look he gave me I'll never know. I bit my lip and he winked at me then grinned.

  "I'm reading your mind, Lily. I like the direction of your thoughts."

  Cassie waved her arms, exasperated. "I swear. Maybe you should just go get a room."

  "I'd love to."

  "I don't think so."

  We said the words simultaneously and I moved away from Darius, my face burning with mortification. That was the second time in just a few hours that someone in this house suggested that very thing. Was I that easy to read? Was I really that transparent? I hurried over to her and wrapped my arm around her waist--more for my protection than to comfort her. Her arm circled my middle and squeezed. I think she knew what I was up to, but she didn't call me on it, thank goodness.

  You little chicken.

  I blinked and pretended to ignore him. He was baiting me to get me to do something impulsive and stupid. I wasn't about to let it work. My breasts throbbed to the point of pain. Full and achy, they grew heavy. My sensitized nipples were so hard and tight they pushed against the material of my lacy bra, tenting my shirt.

  He never moved closer. He just stood there, staring at me, his expression intense.

  Yet, I could feel the warmth of his hand cup my cheek. His thumb trailed gently over my lips and I fought the unreasonable urge to part my lips and suck it into my mouth even though he never really touched me. I wanted to know how he did that. How could he make my body burn for his without even making physical contact?

  His lips quirked in a soft smile. I can teach you once you mate with me. We must be bound for you to do such things, Lily. Are you willing to give up your freedom for the knowledge?

  It was a temptation, but I wasn't temped enough to take him up on his offer. Contrary to my traitorous body's reaction to him, I'd promised myself to never fall under a man's spell again. Too late. A little voice inside me said. I scowled and told it to shut up.

  Part of me didn't want to go with him. Another­--more daring part--wanted to go home with him and let him punish me in the wicked way that danced through his mind. Still, I'd always been a bit more dominant than submissive. The thought of tying him up and having that delicious body at my mercy was a stronger aphrodisiac than I anticipated. My womb clenched and my stomach flip-flopped. A fluttering feeling deep in my belly proved my nervousness.

  He held his hand out. It was an invitation. I didn't know how many choices I'd get with this man, yet he seemed willing to give me one this time. My nervous gaze darted to Cassie and she nodded encouragingly. I returned my gaze to his hand and licked my lips.

  "Take a chance, Lily," Cassie urged, her voice soft. "Just think of what it would be like to care for someone, even live with someone who knew what you can do." Her gaze flickered toward Darius. "Someone you wouldn't have to hide your abilities from."

  I looked at him in a somewhat new light. I'd never thought of that. I'd never been in a relationship where I wouldn't have to hide what I am or what I can do from my partner. I gazed into those knowing moss-green eyes, reached out and placed my hand in his. I prayed that I didn't just make the biggest mistake of my life. "I reserve the right to change my mind in the future."

  "You won't," he said simply.

  The warmth of his hand closing around mine melted my resolve. Sparks of desire arced between us, singeing my uncertainty and an answering heat pooled in my middle. The world fell away and it was just us alone in a desert of golden sand and strange purple cactus with intense orange flowers.

  What is this place? I asked awed, using our mind link because anything less seemed wrong.

  This is a part of my world, Lily. The sand dunes of Talla. I often traveled here to think when I needed solitude in my youth.

  A strange family waddled by, obviously a mother with her offspring.

  Darius reached up and cupped my cheek. The male duong cares for the cubs while the female hunts. But these creatures no longer exist. Even the animals succumbed to the strange plague that attacked our females. With no females, even the animal life ceased to be. This is from my memories of things long past.

  I gazed up at him. I liked this glimpse of his world. It seemed so quiet, so peaceful.

  So lonely, Lily.

  "I've been lonely too, Darius. Do you think your people broke the mold on it?" I shook my head. "I've been lonely my whole life. My mother didn't want to have anything to do with me once I told her I could open portals. My father stepped through a portal years ago, never to be seen again." I stopped before th
e tears that threatened flowed freely over my cheeks. "I think perhaps I was just as lonely as you, knowing there were people here, yet they wanted nothing to do with me."

  He cupped my cheek, his thumb feathering over my bottom lip. "You will never be alone again, courimeo. I shall always be here for you."

  I blinked rapidly in an attempt to harness the overwhelming emotion accompanied by his declaration. Stepping back, I shoved my desires aside and stiffened my spine. I didn't need him. "I--I don't need anyone, Darius."

  "Perhaps not." His gaze raked over me with obvious longing. "But I need you. More than you know." He stepped back and indicated that I should join Cassie. "At least allow me to protect you. Go to my home where the security system and safeguards provided there can keep those who would harm you away."

  My gaze strayed to Cassie and a protective streak that I didn't know I possessed surged up and I felt myself nod. "For her."

  Cassie wrapped her arm around my waist. "For us. We both need to be safe. Mark and the others have enough to worry about without us being captured by those monsters."

  That made sense. Besides, I've never wanted to be the focus of one of those horrifying rituals I've heard the guys occasionally talk about. Being stripped bare and spread eagle on a slab while devil worshipers did unspeakable things to my body held no appeal for me what-so-ever. I peeked over at Darius. With him maybe it held some appeal. My temperature rose as I gave that a bit more thought. Okay, so it held a lot of appeal.

  He grinned.

  I actually felt the blood rush to my face, heating my cheeks. I do wish he'd stop reading my mind. It's so embarrassing. "Okay, let's go then." I stepped from Cassie and walked toward the door, anxious to get away from Darius and all of the unnerving thoughts he provoked. "I'm impatient to get Matt back so I can call him an impotent ape again." I showed my teeth in an imitation grin and reached for the knob.