Love or Luxury

by Heather Thurmeier

  "There's not much more to tell."

  Bryn scoffed. "Well, did he kiss you? Did you like it? Did you have fun?"

  "Yes, he kissed me. Yeah, I liked it okay. It sort of reminded me of being back in high school again."

  Eliza smiled wistfully. "Was the kiss as good as you remember? You used to go on and on about his kisses. I was always so jealous."

  "I don't know. It was weird. I sort of had some of those old feelings come back, but I don't know. Maybe I built up things a little too much in my head while he's been away. It wasn't quite as good as I hoped."

  "Okay, so the kiss wasn't magical, but it was okay, right?" Bryn asked, setting down her smoothie.

  Rebecca nodded.

  "So that's fine then. Not all romances start with a knock-you-off-your-feet kiss. How was the rest of the date?"

  "It was just okay, too, honestly. He had to work late, so I ended up sitting at the bar for nearly an hour. Alone. Is that what's it's going to be like dating a doctor?"

  "So what if you have to wait around a bit for dinner to start?" Bryn asked with a look that made Rebecca feel stupid. "Dinner is better with a buzz anyways. And besides, once you're married, you'll be so busy spending his doctor's salary and enjoying your own interests with your charities, you won't care if he's working late all the time."

  That didn't sound like an ideal life. Wasn't marriage supposed to mean a lot of cuddling on the couch and spending time with each other? What kind of marriage would she be signing up for if she never even saw her husband but in bed late at night?

  "I don't know. I'm not so sure that sounds like what I want. I always imagined being completely smitten with someone and wanting to spend as much time with them as I could. I want a husband who's home sometimes."

  "No, you want a husband who owns a nice home and who provides for you like Reid did with his credit card. Who cares if he's home every night as long as you get the things you want? Better to have a husband who isn't home than one who is." Bryn was the only one who laughed at her joke. Eliza looked as put off by Bryn's description of marriage as Rebecca felt. "Listen, all I'm saying is the lovey-dovey romance you read about all the time wears off eventually for everyone, so you better make sure what you're left with is a life you really want."

  What kind of life did she really want?

  "I gotta run. I forgot I have to go to the shelter today. I'll catch you guys later." Rebecca grabbed her smoothie and her purse and bolted for the door. She needed fresh air and a little distance from the picture Bryn had painted in her mind.

  Her heeled boots clicked on the sidewalk as she made her way back to her apartment. She concentrated only on the click, click, click as she walked, forcing her brain to stop thinking for a change. How was she supposed to figure out what she wanted in her life when her life was in a constant upheaval?

  Throwing her keys on the kitchen counter, she slipped out of her boots and onto the couch. Looking around at the last of her meager belongings, the sheer desperation of her situation hit her. There wasn't much left to sell, yet her bank account was still dangerously low. Rent in the Meadow was simply too high for her to afford as a waitress.

  That left very few options. Move out of the Meadow and away from the life and the friends she'd always known. Get a second job and hide it from her friends. Marry from the Meadow, so she could stay in the Meadow.

  Well, there's my answer.

  The kind of life she wanted was the one that meant being surrounded by the people and the things she loved. It meant waking up each morning and reading about the day's events online on The Meadow Ridge Reader. It meant grabbing tapas at Luna and cheesecake at Calhoun's and sitting under her favorite tree in Cherry Blossom Park—the secluded one she fled to every time she'd needed her mother and her mother hadn't been there. The scent of cherry blossoms in the spring had always made her feel like her mother was surrounding her when Rebecca sat there. And even when the trees weren't in bloom, Rebecca could close her eyes and imagine her mother's scent floating in every breeze.

  And if Rebecca had to marry someone who was maybe a little low key for her taste, and who had to be on call for his patients at all hours of the day and night—well, then that was exactly what she was going to do. It was worth it to keep everything else she loved in her life close by. All she needed was someone who treated her well and who loved her back. Someone she shared a history with and who she'd once loved, even if she wasn't sure she loved him now. The rest were simply details.

  No one needed to pay attention to every little detail in life, did they?

  Chapter Eight

  Rebecca made room on her small kitchen counter for yet another extravagant bouquet of flowers. Reid had sent two already, and their date had only been a couple of days ago. She feared he might send one every day, and if he did, she'd need to buy furniture just to have somewhere to put all of them.

  Good thing she'd planned to meet Finn at their usual spot, so she wouldn't have to explain away the abundance of flowers in her apartment.

  Their usual spot.

  The fact that they shared a "usual" anything still thrilled her. She'd never really had a "usual" before with someone. Not unless you counted the "usual" things they argued about. But this felt completely different.

  She quickly applied another coat of gloss on her lips then grabbed her purse. She'd chosen the tiny one with the long strap, so she could let it hang across her body, and it would still fit under her coat. She didn't want to hold onto a handbag on the back of the bike again. Last time she'd been too scared to think about anything other than holding on. But now that she knew what to expect, she realized how lucky she'd been that her purse hadn't come off her shoulder during her first motorcycle ride.

  After securing her purse under her coat, she picked up the jacket she'd borrowed from Finn. She held it to her nose, breathing deeply, taking in his scent. Her head spun with intoxication. He smelled so good—a perfect mix of cologne and manliness. Too bad she had to give back the jacket.

  Strolling quickly down the street, their usual spot came into view and there was Finn, leaning casually against his motorcycle. Had she ever seen anything sexier than him?

  Nope.

  He really was one of the sexiest men she'd ever laid eyes on. It wasn't even that he was supermodel hot or something. He wasn't. But he had a down to earth, real man's man kind of aura about him. Mix that with a five o'clock shadow, his lean, muscular build and confidence, and it was a combo she couldn't deny turned her on.

  He was plain old delicious.

  "Hey, you," she said walking up and standing in front of him, still on the curb.

  "Hey, yourself." He got up from his perch on the bike and pulled her against him, planting a kiss on her lips, stealing her breath. "I've been wanting to do that since the last time I saw you."

  She sucked in a little gasp at the intensity of his kiss and the suddenness of a moment she hadn't expected. He was delicious in so many ways.

  "Next time don't torture yourself by waiting so long," she teased. Any time he wanted to kiss her like that was fine with her.

  His arms still wrapped around her, he asked, "So any time I want to, I should just go for it?"

  If she had to guess, she'd speculate the look in his eyes was pure lust. She nodded, once again unable to find her voice in his presence.

  She'd never been the kind of person to be at a loss for words before, but she certainly was around Finn. What was it about him that made her forget how to speak?

  He stroked his thumb across her silenced lips then kissed her again. This time his mouth opened against hers, his tongue caressed her lip. She melted against him.

  Then, as soon as it started, the kiss was over and he took a step back from her, allowing the cool evening air to flow between their hot bodies. The temperature change finally let her think clearly again.

  "Here," she said, clearing her throat and handing him his jacket back. "I thought you'd probably need this for tonight since you told me to d
ress warm." She reluctantly allowed him to take the jacket back. She wanted to wrap herself in it every night to sleep so she could have his presence near her. But she wouldn't.

  He slipped the jacket on and zipped it up. "It's nice to have it back, but I wouldn't have minded if you'd kept it longer."

  "Maybe I'll borrow it again sometime."

  "Good idea. Then I'll always have an excuse to see you." He checked her helmet then put on his own. "Should we go?"

  "Sure," she said, raising her voice. It felt like she had to shout to be heard in the helmet. Probably because of the way the padding fit against her ears making every sound dampened. "Where are we going anyway?"

  He smiled. A gorgeous smile that made her knees weak. "If you trust me, I'd rather it be a surprise."

  She barely knew him, yet she'd go anywhere he wanted to take her. And the thought of a surprise was too fun to pass up. Straddling the bike, she eagerly wrapped her arms around Finn's waist and snuggled close. She wasn't able to feel as much of him this time with his jacket on, but holding on to him still made her smile like a giddy schoolgirl. Good thing he couldn't see her grinning like a fool behind him.

  She made a silent promise to herself to enjoy every moment with Finn before things got any more serious with Reid. Once she and Reid were officially together, she'd have to give up her fun with Finn. Until then, she wanted to enjoy as much of him and his different world as she could.

  They drove out of the gates and hit the highway, but instead of heading toward the city as they had last time, they headed away from the city and into the hills in the distance. As the road narrowed and began winding, with the hill on one side and the river on the other, she clung tighter. She wasn't a huge fan of heights and being so close to the edge with the wind rushing past her bordered on terrifying.

  Taking the corners on the back of the bike wasn't much more settling.

  Thirty harrowing minutes later, they pulled off the highway and drove up a road that twisted back and forth on itself in hairpin turns. At least they were traveling slower now. Finally, he turned into a driveway and pulled up to a stunning, large cabin.

  The cabin looked as if it had been made out of huge tree trunks. The little glimpse she'd caught of the interior through the windows looked anything but rustic. Whoever lived here definitely had modern taste in furnishings and fixtures.

  Finn pulled to a stop along the side of the cabin and killed the engine. He slipped off his own helmet then helped with hers. "We're here."

  "Where's here exactly?"

  "This is my brother Colin's place. He's lending it to us tonight while he's out of town."

  Okay. Why come to his brother's house?

  "It looks amazing," she said, instead of her real thoughts. If Finn brought her here, it had to be for some good reason. And it was an amazing cabin, but she would have been happier at his place if he wanted a cozy meal in instead of going out to a restaurant to eat.

  "It is, but we're not really here for the cabin."

  "Oh," she said, unable to keep the confusion out of her tone.

  He took her hand in his. "Come with me, and I'll show you why we're here."

  He led her along the side of the cabin and through an arbor separating the driveway from the backyard. As they rounded the corner into to the back, Rebecca instantly understood why they'd driven all this way.

  Behind the cabin, a massive yard sprawled away from the house and ended with a breathtaking view of the river. Dense tree coverage on either side of the yard made the area completely secluded from neighbors.

  Finn walked to the middle of the yard where a fire pit sat waiting to be lit. "Wait right here for a minute," he said, running back up the porch steps and disappearing into the cabin. A few moments later, he came to her with his arms full.

  "I could have helped you with that stuff," she said, taking a large heavy blanket out of his hands, so he could set the other things down.

  "It's okay. I didn't bring you here to do manual labor."

  "Hardly. I do harder labor during one hour at the diner."

  "That you do. Why do you work there anyway, if you don't mind my asking?"

  What was the right answer? Could she tell him she needed the money? Could she risk opening up to him? Could she risk him walking away from her if he knew she was broke and barely supporting herself? No boyfriend—not even one who wasn't rich himself—wanted to have a leech as a girlfriend.

  Not that Finn was ever going to be her boyfriend. But she wasn't quite ready for her time with him to end yet either, and maybe it would if he knew she couldn't make ends meet.

  "I do a lot of charity work for a local shelter, and a couple of times we held fundraisers at the diner. We would all work the shift for the owner and, in turn, he donated our wages to the shelter as well as the proceeds from the day's sales. And however much we could finagle out of the customers while we served them. Emmett asked me to come back for a shift a couple of times to help out when he was short-staffed. After that, I guess I decided I liked working for Emmett, and I liked being somewhere totally different than the Meadow where I could talk to new and interesting people every day."

  Mostly true. Of course, it hadn't been Emmett asking her if she could come in for a shift. It had been her begging him to take her on as a full-time employee and convincing him that she was actually going to work. The truth was giving over the tips she'd earned on those fundraiser days had opened her eyes to how much money she could make on one shift between her wage and tips.

  And in her current situation, she couldn't turn that kind of money away.

  "That's really nice you're doing work you enjoy."

  She shrugged, not used to talking about her work since no one actually knew she did it. Certainly, she'd never tell Reid about her job.

  Grabbing the edges of the blanket, she and Finn laid it out on the grass, close enough to the fire pit that they'd be able to feel its heat once it was lit and still far enough away that they wouldn't have to worry about an ember sparking and hitting the blanket. She had a feeling their blanket would be hot enough without any extra sparks.

  Even while setting up the blanket and big throw pillows, the electricity crackled between them with every fleeting glance. Definitely no fire needed here. This one hadn't stopped smoldering from their last date.

  After the blanket was laid out, they each grabbed a couple of big throw pillows to sit on and got comfortable. Another couple of blankets stayed folded off to the side for later if needed for any reason. She could think of a few.

  "I hope this is okay for you. I know it's not some fancy restaurant in the city, but I guarantee the view is better from here."

  "Are you kidding? This is perfect. The river looks so beautiful." She'd never been on dates outside the Meadow until she met Finn, and she was happily surprised—again—by how much she enjoyed the more casual tone of these dates. Everything was so laidback and comfortable and relaxing. For the first time ever, she didn't feel like she had to be on her best behavior on a date. She could be herself.

  He smiled, looking genuinely thrilled she was happy with their date plans. "Just wait until you see the sunset from here."

  "Do you come up here a lot?"

  "In the summer I do. Colin likes to host big barbecues here."

  "It's nice you're so close to your brothers. I've always wanted a sibling relationship, but it never happened."

  "Maybe you'll still get that wish one day."

  "Not likely. Dad is getting old and well, Mom's not here anymore. So I can't see how that would ever happen."

  Finn's face softened. "Where's your mom?"

  "She passed away when I was young. It's okay. You don't have to look at me like my life sucks. I'm cool with it all."

  He squeezed her hand. "I was actually looking at you and thinking about how amazingly strong you are."

  She nodded, too choked up to speak this time. She was strong. But no one had ever noticed before.

  Finn reached into the massive coo
ler still sitting by the side of the blanket and fished around until he found whatever it was he was looking for. "Can I get you a drink? I only grabbed soda and water this time. I didn't want to risk these roads with a beer in my system."

  "Soda's perfect, thanks."

  "Are you hungry yet? There's enough food to feed a small village, too."

  Her stomach growled at the mention of sustenance. She hadn't eaten since her lunch break at the diner hours ago. "Absolutely." She helped pull out containers of food from the cooler, opening each as she did to take a peek at what was inside. Salads, cut-up fruit, and wraps all looked and smelled delicious.

  Finn handed her a plastic plate and utensils, and she took a little of everything. The wrap was filled with fresh chicken salad. The mixture of crisp apple, celery, and grapes went perfectly with the chunks of chicken. By far the most delicious chicken salad she'd ever eaten. And it had nothing to do with the fact that she was starving.

  "Wow. Where did you pick up the food from? This wrap is like heaven. I think angels must have made it."

  He laughed, covering his mouth as he tried to finish chewing without choking. "Thanks. I've never been called an angel before."

  "You made this food?" she asked. "Oh, my God, you can cook, too?" Was there anything hotter than a man who could cook? A scene of Finn standing in his kitchen with nothing on but an apron raced through her mind and suddenly the chicken salad was hard to swallow.

  "Well, I'm not a chef or anything, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve."

  I bet you have a few tricks somewhere else, too.

  "My taste buds thank you."

  He raised an eyebrow at her questioningly. "Really?"

  What? Had she said something wrong?

  "I'm glad my chicken salad makes your tongue so happy."

  She almost spit out her food as a laugh bubbled up from deep inside. Thank God she kept it contained long enough to swallow without choking. "I didn't mean to sound so perverse. You know what I meant."

  "I do, but I like teasing you. You always turn this really pretty shade of pink." He smirked. "It clashes horribly with your gorgeous red hair."