Her Secret Shame

by Christine Sterling

  He walked up to the house, with Misty not far behind, and carefully opened the door. The house was quiet. He slowly walked to the room where the light was burning but couldn’t see anyone in the room. He walked to the furthest doorway, looking around into the hallway.

  There was a cry behind him and when he turned around, he saw Beatrice holding Misty in a headlock. Her eyes were like slits and her mouth was a flattened line. She looked positively deadly. “Bea!” he cried out, leaping towards them. “Let go of her!” Beatrice, now realizing who was talking to her, dropped Misty from her grip. She tumbled into John’s arms.

  “Brother! I didn’t know you’d be dropping by,” she said, bringing her shawl around her shoulders. Her face softened, looking more like his sister. She was never such an aggressive person; he had grown up protecting her from anything. To see her in such a defensive position was alarming. He wondered how she learned how to do that, but he decided it was her fear that brought on such an intense reaction.

  Misty was still in his arms, clutching her throat and softly coughing. He stood her up and checked to see if she was alright before he turned her towards Beatrice. “We decided to come home for the night. Beatrice, I would like you to meet my wife, Misty.”

  Shock was evident on Beatrice’s face. Her mouth fell a few inches and her cheeks lost a bit of color. But it was her eyes, filling with red hot anger that chilled John. He hadn’t imagined she was going to react in this way; in his mind, she was overjoyed with the prospect of having the sister she always wanted. How could he have been so wrong? But in an instant, the look on her face was replaced with a tight smile.

  “I didn’t even know you were interested in another woman,” she said, as she looked Misty from head to toe. “My, you are a pretty little darling. Well, welcome to the family,” she said as she threw her arms around a very surprised Misty, pulling her in for a hug.

  “Very pleased to meet you,” Misty said hesitantly, as she retreated from his sister’s touch. He could tell she wasn’t used to such closeness, which was strange for him knowing she was about to share a bed with a man she did not know.

  “I’m sure we will become very close. Almost sisters!” Beatrice exclaimed, clutching her hands together. John looked over to Misty. Her reluctance was plain as day. As if she didn’t notice, Beatrice turned to her brother. “It’s so late, you can explain to me in the morning. You two should go to sleep.”

  John hesitated. He had been so sure of their relationship, but now with the prospect of sharing a marriage bed with Misty, he was at a loss. They weren’t married, even though they were acting as such. He could respect her, if that’s what she wanted. He wouldn’t dare to ruin her, though the thought of someone else touching her sent his mind into a panic.

  If he was being honest, he knew he would not have the self-control to stop. The kiss they shared was still fresh in his mind, and even if she would reciprocate, he shouldn’t take advantage of her. “I’m just here to tuck my wife in. Then I’m heading back to the office.”

  “You’re leaving?” Misty exclaimed. John turned to her. She looked like he was abandoning her. If she only knew his internal struggle.

  “I have some work to do at the station,” he said, trying to avoid her eyes. If she continued to look at him like that, he was going to lose his resolve. “It would be best if I stayed in the city. Especially with the cattle rustlers out in the open,” he said. He looked toward his sister, noticing a look of fear had crossed her features. Before he could ask her if she was ok, she was smiling.

  “Of course, you should do your job! Misty and I could get to know each other better,” she said, with a smile that stretched across her cheeks. If he didn’t know any better, he would think that there was something amiss.

  After a few more pleasantries, he told his sister goodnight, and led Misty to his room. Or now, he realized, their room. He quickly opened the door, going to the left to light the lamp at the side to illuminate where she would be sleeping. When Misty entered, he heard an audible gasp.

  “This room is so big,” she whispered, putting her hand on her mouth.

  John scratched his head, marveling at her ability to be so impressed. “Well, yes. It used to be my parents’. It was hard at first to feel comfortable here.”

  Misty walked towards the bed, grasping about the bedposts. There were intricate designs curved into the wood. “This is so pretty,” she exclaimed, dragging her fingers across the creases in the wood.

  You’re so pretty. “My grandfather built that bed. He built all the furniture in this room,” he said, pointing towards the dresser and the table. “He also built this house.”

  Misty looked all around her, her eyes wide. “I’ve never see such beautiful furniture before. I didn’t think they had rooms this big out here either.”

  “No?”

  She shook her head. “It reminds me of my old home. We had bigger rooms in Georgia. This room is probably as big as the room I shared with my little sister.”

  John never heard her speak of her old home, her old life. He always wanted to ask her about it but felt the invisible wall she placed between them in the way. “You used to live in Georgia?”

  She smiled. “Yes. Until I was eighteen.”

  John walked closer to her. “Why did you leave?”

  Misty lowered her lashes, her cheeks blushing a bit. “It’s not important,” she said, as she set her bag on the bed.

  John didn’t want to pry. He didn’t know she had any other family, and now that he knew she had a sister, he decided to tuck that information away for another day. “There are more linens, in this closet,” he said, as he walked to the closet at the end.

  With his back to her, Misty slowly walked behind him, grabbing his shirt. “I wish you didn’t have to go,” she said, as she slid her hand down his back.

  Accepting the invitation, he turned around and leaned in to kiss her. He had wanted it to be a short kiss, but the way she was clutching him made him want to do more, so he slowly enclosed his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

  His lips caught hers and he pulled her bottom lip in between his teeth to suck it lightly. Misty moaned and that was all the invitation John needed to slip his tongue inside her.

  John threaded his hands through her hair releasing the pins that held it in the messy bun without breaking the sweet torture of kissing her. Once he felt the last pin fall he grabbed the back of her head and slanted his lips over hers, allowing himself to explore every crevice of her sweet mouth.

  He pulled her closer to him and she stilled when she felt his hardness against her hip. Pausing just a moment, Misty allowed her hands to caress him and then moved up to his chest.

  John moaned and Misty jumped back breaking the kiss and releasing herself from his arms.

  She turned her head to look at the wall. “I didn’t mean…”

  Before she could finish her sentence, he stepped back towards her, the fire for this woman still burning in his blood. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

  “No, that’s not what I mean...”

  “I know what you meant, Misty. We aren’t married yet, but that will be rectified tomorrow. I’ll come by in the morning,” he said curtly, before disappearing beyond the door. He couldn’t get out of that house faster. Whatever he thought they had in the hotel was no longer just his imagination.

  Misty sat on the bed, touching her lips. They were still warm from his kiss. She shouldn’t have turned him away. She wanted him, just as she had wanted him in that hotel room. But her mind started to turn, with more thoughts than feelings.

  She only turned away before as she didn’t know if she was ready to be emotionally involved with him, though she knew she lusted after him unlike anyone before him. She knew what it meant when he pressed himself against her. She knew where it would lead, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to go down that road again.

  And now she was here, alone in his room. Their room, she silently corrected herself.

&nb
sp; Misty had always been on her own, but she never felt lonely. Even when she left home and was on her own, she never felt she needed to be around others to fulfill herself. She never felt the need to seek out another person’s comfort, who wasn’t related to her. But now, as she was sitting there, she wished he was there, sitting next to her. Even if they weren’t intimate, she would have liked the company. His company.

  There was a light knock on the door, and his sister, Beatrice stuck her head in. “I heard John leave; I was wondering how you were doing?”

  She looked at Beatrice. She didn’t look like John at all. She was short and willowy, with deep brown hair and a mousy face. She was rather plain. Unlike John, who commanded any room he walked into, Beatrice looked like she would fade in the background. And then there was this nagging feeling Misty had; she felt she could always tell when someone wasn't who they were trying to act like.

  She knew it with Samantha’s old brother-in-law, she knew it when she met Clover Kelly. And she couldn’t help but feel the same with this woman.

  “I’m just settling in. It was such a whirlwind day.”

  “I bet,” Beatrice responded, with a hint of a sneer. Or was she imagining it? She looked at her face and saw how the ends of her smile turned upwards, like she was keeping a nasty secret. It made her stomach drop. “I just wanted to check in before I went to sleep. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask,” she said, before the door clicked behind her.

  With the door finally closed, she knew that the girl was putting her on notice. This was her territory, and she was not willing to share.

  Chapter 10

  Misty, Eighteen

  “Why are you smiling so widely?” Mary asked, as she ran to keep up with Misty.

  “I am smiling as I usually do. Now hurry,” she said as she grabbed Mary’s hand. “You are going too slowly! We only have fifteen minutes to get to the pharmacy.”

  She jogged down the street, grasping at Mary. Based on the last letter she received from Randy, she knew he was finally home from school. She couldn’t wait to see him again; she knew it was dangerous to see him in public; he had said it himself, it was safer for them to meet on the hill. But she just couldn’t wait to be in his presence.

  Which was why she had volunteered so eagerly to do the household shopping today. She would have had a perfect day if Mary hadn’t tagged along. She had whined to their mother, which made Misty take her. If Misty refused, Mama would have wanted to know why, and then her secret would have been blown. So, she took Mary along, carefully going through the general motions of buying all their necessary items. But because Mary kept talking incessantly about everything they saw, they were already running late to the destination Misty had wanted to go to in the first place.

  “But we don’t even need anything from the pharmacy,” Mary whined, as she struggled against Misty’s grasp. Gone were the days where Misty could bribe Mary with chocolate; it would be her normal offering. Now she was lucky if Mary didn’t spill all of Misty’s secrets. “We are going to see Randy, aren’t we?” she asked, with a glint in her eyes.

  Misty had always been extra careful with all her letters from Randy, even going so far as hiding them in different spots in their shared room. However, Mary was a sneaky sister and had found them anyway. So now she was privy to each and every detail of their relationship. She had made Mary vow to keep this a secret between the two, which Mary obliged; this meant she would refrain from teasing her mercilessly for it.

  Misty ignored her sister’s inquiry, as they reached the pharmacy. She entered the store to see Mr. Rogers putting up a few boxes on the top shelves. When he heard the door open, he turned to see Misty and Mary in his store. “Misty, Mary! What a pleasant surprise! But I don’t believe I have anything for you to pick up,” he said, as he stepped down from the ladder he was on.

  “No, I was just here, to, uh,” Misty said, at a loss for words. Mary rolled her eyes next to her.

  Mr. Rogers smiled, his eyes crinkling at the ends. “You’d like to see Randy?”

  “Yes, she would be delighted,” Mary said, answering for her. Misty shot her a look while Mr. Rogers chuckled.

  “He’s pushing some heavy boxes in the back; I’ll go alert him that he has visitors,” Mr. Rogers said, as he disappeared behind the back door. Mr. Rogers had always treated Misty with such kindness, she had wondered how he would react if he had known the relationship between his grandson and her. She knew most people wouldn’t to want their family to associate with her; she was considered almost tainted, even though she herself had never done anything wrong. Still, the stigma of what her mother was would always follow her, no matter what.

  Misty turned to her sister, who was looking at everything around the room. “Mary, why would you say that to Mr. Rogers?”

  Mary sighed. “But it’s true, is it not? And aren’t you always telling me we must speak the truth?”

  Misty always knew her words would come back to her. “You shouldn’t be talking about things you don’t understand,” she said turning around with her arms stubbornly across her chest.

  “I don’t know why it matters so much, it’s not as if Mr. Rogers doesn’t know something is happening between you two. And he still treats us the same. I’d say, Mr. Rogers likes you.”

  The thought sent heat to her toes. She could feel her checks flushing. Although it was thrilling to keep their secret at times, it thrilled her even more to know that one of Randy’s family members had accepted them.

  There was a whoosh of breeze behind them, signaling the door had been opened. Misty felt Mary turn to see who it was. She tugged on Misty’s arm, pulling her toward the door. “Misty, who is that man? I have never seen him before.”

  The town was so small, Misty and Mary knew everyone. It was alarming if they ever ran into someone they had never seen before, as it didn’t happen often. But when Misty turned around to stare the man in the face, her breath caught. She knew who this man was but didn’t know his name. It was the same man she had seen only a year ago. He was still strikingly handsome, even more so with age. And he still looked familiar, although now, it was becoming exactly clear as to why he was so familiar.

  As the man entered the room, it seemed that he too had recognized Misty from that day they had seen each other in her house, as he was leaving from a rendezvous with their mother. But, as Mary knew none of this, all she could muster was an “I don’t know,” as they continued to stare at each other.

  “Oh, son, I didn’t expect you to drop by tonight,” said Mr. Rogers, as he entered the room with Randy following close behind. Misty looked over at Randy, as he looked over her and to his father, with a fear she had never seen in his eyes before. “I don’t believe you have met these girls. This is Mary and Misty,” he said, as he stood behind the two girls. Mary smiled sweetly while Misty tried to keep her face as expressionless as possible. “They are Elias’ daughters,” he said, as he leaned between the two girls. “This is my son, Randall. I don’t know if your mother ever told you, but Elias and Randall used to be childhood friends.”

  Misty knew none of this. Of course, she didn’t; when her father died, everything about him disappeared. As the days went by, it was like he barely existed. Mama didn’t even want to mention his name if she didn’t have to. “No, Mama has never mentioned it,” Mary said, to fill the void.

  “Father,” said Randall, confirming Misty’s dread that he was in fact the father to her dear Randy.

  Randall nodded in the direction of Randy, “I’m here to pick up my son.”

  “But the girls have just dropped by to visit,” he started to say before Randall interrupted.

  “He is to be at home. We have company tonight,” he said, looking directly at Misty when he said it. “Miss Davis is to drop by with her family. My son knows how important this meeting is, don’t you son?”

  Misty tried not to look at Randy’s face, as he nodded his head. “Sorry, grandfather, it seems I have to be going,” he said, as he grabbe
d his coat from the hanger in the front of the store.

  Misty didn’t know what hurt more; the love of her life ignoring her as he walked out of the room or knowing that her love’s father was also a patron of her house.

  “Sheriff!” shouted a voice from the front of the office. It knocked John off the chair he was lounging on. When he came to, he saw Tom standing over him. “Were you sleeping?” he asked, as he held out his hand, allowing John to pull himself up.

  “Not anymore,” John said with a grunt, as he dusted himself off. “Tom, do you realize what time it is?” he said, as he looked outside the windows. The sun was just starting to rise, so John knew it had to be early. Too early for Tom to be up, as it were.

  “Time for you to wake up,” Tom said, laughing at his own joke. John looked less than enthused. Tom coughed, continuing, “We were attacked last night.”

  John’s ears perked up. “What?”

  “Yes. Someone tried to break into the barn to get to the cattle. We’ve been trying to keep them there at night, so we don’t lose any more cows. But late last night, Seth heard a noise. So, we went out to investigate, and sure enough, someone had tried to pry the door open. The lock was even broken. I think we scared them off; Seth isn’t much of a silent person. They probably heard him coming from afar. The man walks around like he is carrying lead in his toes.”

  John scratched his chin. “What time did this occur?”

  “Late. I can’t really recall a time, but if I had to describe it, I know the moon was at its fullest.” John thought back to last night. This time would be about the time he had dropped off Misty at the house.

  “I thought you were going to be patrolling around, looking for the cattle rustlers last night?” Tom asked.