False Security

by Evan Grace

Grant was who kept me sane while I ate the shit that Ryan dished out. “Shayla?”

  “Oh gosh, I’m sorry. Listen, there’s something I need to tell you…well, a couple of things.” I stroke Leif’s cheek with my finger. “I have a son.” Her eyes widen. “I didn’t mean to keep it from you, but…ugh…I was in an abusive marriage, and when Grant was three, he walked in on Ryan hurting me badly enough there was blood. Since then, he’s not really comfortable around men at first.” I shake my head. “I can’t believe I just spit that all out.”

  Instead of looking at me with pity, she smiles and grabs my hand. “So you’re obviously one of the strongest women I know, because you’re here and obviously not with that monster. Where’s your little boy?”

  “He’s at my neighbor’s—she watches him while I work.” I grab my phone out of my purse and show her a picture of Grant and me from a few weeks ago.

  “He looks just like you!” Carrie says. “He’s beautiful. Next time you come, you should bring him.” She gets up and grabs us each a bottle of water out of her kitchen. “So…tell me about your date with Erik. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been avoiding me since.”

  “Why did you set me up with him? He’s so beautiful and muscular, and women flock to him.” I glance up at her. “He was an asshole the whole time we were at dinner, flirting with the hostess and staring at my boobs, but I still had sex with him. Lots and lots of amazing sex, and then I took off while he slept. Please don’t think poorly of me. I’ve never done that before.”

  She looks at me closely. “Okay, I want you to listen to me, and listen good: You are the perfect woman for him. I can’t really explain it, but once you get past that douchey exterior, there’s a big teddy bear in there. I happen to think you’re the best person to pull that side out of him.” She shakes her head. “I know we haven’t known each other long, but I’d never set you up with someone who I thought would carelessly break your heart. He is a good guy—trust me on that.”

  I let her words swirl around in my brain for a bit. She really thinks Erik is that great? That I’m that great for him? It doesn’t make sense. What am I missing? Sure, he told me about his sister and what happened to his dad, but just as quickly as that vulnerability appeared, he’d shelved it.

  I’d definitely noticed when he backed off at work, though. And for him to say he was giving me space before kissing me like that and offering to drive me home…it’s like he’s two different people at once. But maybe that means he’s trying, at least.

  My stomach drops. But what does it matter, if all the effort in the world won’t make me the kind of woman he really wants?

  Carrie kisses her son’s forehead, and then looks back up at me. “Yes, he’s good-looking, but so are you—inside and out. Don’t think I would ever judge you for enjoying yourself. Are you an adult?” I nod. “Did you force him to have sex with you?”

  Shaking my head, I mutter, “I…kind of jumped him.”

  Carrie throws her head back and laughs. “That’s understandable. Sorry I didn’t tell you he worked with me and that you’d see him afterward—I didn’t want that to color your impression of him. Are you going to go out with him again?”

  I shrug. “We’ve kissed a couple of times. It’s just…I don’t know if I want to or not. Grant is skittish around men, and honestly, I’ve got too much baggage. He could have it easy with other women, I’m sure. Plus, he hasn’t really even talked to me much. I mean, he kissed me yesterday in his office, but he hasn’t asked me out since my first day, and I said no then.”

  “Ask him out. Take him out to dinner and just talk to him. Or hell, just bang each other, because I may be married, and my husband is no slouch, but Erik is seriously fine.”

  Ohhh…why does that make me feel so crazy? Of course I know she’s joking when she winks at me. “I don’t know…maybe.” I smile down at the sleeping baby in my arms. When I was younger, I wanted a houseful of children that I would shower with love, but then that dream died when Ryan started hitting me. I doubt I’ll ever get married again, which in turn means no children.

  I’ve had my heart broken enough by my ex-husband…I don’t think I could ever have a relationship with someone who would blatantly flirt with other women in front of me, no matter what Carrie says.

  I stay for a little longer, but then the sweet little boy begins getting upset, wanting his mama. I order an Uber and stand up when I see it pull up out front. “Thanks for letting me come visit. Sorry I was avoiding you.”

  Carrie lays Leif down in the bassinet in the living room and comes over to wrap her arms around me. “Don’t be sorry, and don’t think I’d ever judge you for anything. Don’t forget: Next time you come, you better bring Grant with you.”

  I only nod, because emotions clog my throat. For so long I was so lonely—Ryan made me stop talking to all my friends, and even my family turned their backs on me. Now, I’ve got Luna, Rocco, Carrie, and Delilah. It feels good to be rebuilding my tribe. “I promise I’ll bring him.”

  She pulls back and smiles at me. “Good.”

  On my way back to the office my thoughts wander, and I don’t know what I’m going to do about Erik. When I arrive, I thank the driver and climb out of the car. I head inside through the front doors, saying hello to the security guard. At the elevators, I use my card to get on the employee elevator and ride it up to my floor.

  I smile when I see Delilah behind the desk. “Hey, thanks for covering for me,” I say.

  “You’re welcome. How was Carrie?” She stands up and walks around the desk. Delilah is all belly, and totally cute. Reece is a big dude, and I can only imagine how big that baby is going to be. Grant was seven pounds when he was born and absolutely perfect.

  “She was good. She’s got that new mommy glow. It won’t be long before you have it too.”

  Delilah smiles as she rubs a hand over her belly. “I can’t wait. I’m excited to meet this little boy.”

  I take my spot behind the desk and put my purse in the bottom drawer.

  I’m just going through my email when my phone vibrates. I pick it up and see Luna’s name on the screen. “Hey Luna, is everything okay?”

  “Hey, I just wanted to let you know: Grant just threw up, but he seems fine. He’s not running a fever, and said his stomach didn’t hurt anymore. My guess is something just didn’t sit right in his belly.”

  Every now and then this happens. “Okay, do you want me to come get him?”

  “Honestly, he seems fine. He’s eating some homemade applesauce right now. I’ll call you if any of that changes.” She is the absolute best.

  “If you’re sure. Can you hand the phone to him?” I hear rustling around.

  “Hi, Mommy. I frew up.”

  “Hey, my little Grunt. That’s what Luna said, and that your tummy is better. Tonight we’ll have chicken noodle soup and a Cars marathon, okay? Love you.”

  “Okay, love you.”

  Luna takes the phone back. “Whatever you told him has him smiling ear to ear. We’ll let you get back to work—and again, I’ll call if he gets worse.”

  “Okay, thanks girl.” I disconnect and leave my phone on my desk, just in case.

  “You have a kid?” I spin around to find Erik standing next to my desk, staring at me.

  I nod, my heart in my throat. “Y-Yes. He’s five. His name’s Grant.”

  “Where’s his father?”

  I avoid looking him in the eye. “He’s…not in the picture.”

  “Do you have any pictures of him?” Why am I surprised he’s asking to see him?

  I pick up my phone again, and after opening the photo app I hand it to him. I watch him swipe to the left, looking at the pictures of my reason for living. He smiles and shows me the picture he’s looking at now.

  It’s from Grant’s fifth birthday breakfast. Grant was at the kitchen table with a pile of pancakes covered in chocolate sauce and whipped cream. Lucifer was in his arms, and I was squatting down next to him. We both had p
arty hats on. “That was a good day,” I tell him. “That’s our cat, Lucifer.”

  He raises a brow. “Lucifer?”

  I nod. “Yep, he was a rescue, and at first he hissed at me whenever I tried to hold him—Grant was the only one who could. Luckily, he finally warmed up to me, and now I can’t keep him away from me.” Erik hands me back my phone. I turn back to my computer, assuming that he’s going to walk away—nothing kills the mood for a bachelor like talking about kids.

  “Have you eaten lunch?” he asks instead. I shake my head, and notice it’s already noon. “Have lunch with me?”

  I remember what Luna and Carrie both said—this is the perfect chance to at least get to know him. If he’s trying, I can at least try too. “Yes, sure, that sounds great.” He looks surprised that I said yes, but he quickly covers it. I email Delilah to let her know I’m stepping out for lunch so she can cover the front desk again. After logging out, I grab my purse and sling it over my shoulder.

  Erik’s hand rests on my lower back as we head to the elevator. Neither of us says a word as we take it down to the parking garage. He holds out a key fob and the lights flash on his Explorer. Erik is definitely a gentleman, opening my door for me and helping me inside.

  That familiar spicy scent of his wraps around me, and I sink further into the soft leather seat. His door opens and he climbs inside. We reach the exit of the garage. “Does Thai sound okay?”

  “That sounds great.”

  The host leads us to a booth, and Erik sits across from me. His legs are so long that they take up all the space under the table. I cross my legs and rest my hands in my lap. Our waiter stops by and takes our drink order. Once he walks away, Erik turns and gives me that damn cocky grin of his.

  “Tell me about Grant. What’s he like?”

  I can’t help but smile widely. I love my boy so much. “He’s amazing. He loves to read, and my neighbor upstairs watches him—he helps her with her little girls.” I look down at the table, then back up at him. “Grant is shy around people he doesn’t know, but that’s a story for another day.”

  Luckily the waiter comes and Erik asks if he can order for me. I agree, and my mouth waters as I listen to him order enough food for a small army.

  “Tell me about Gretchen.”

  “She’s amazing too. When my mom had her, I was sixteen and not really thrilled about having a baby in the house, but the first time I held her, it was fucking magical. I know that hurts my street cred.” He laughs to himself, and I love the deep, rich sound. “Or my massive sex appeal.” Erik gives me a cocky wink.

  Our waiter brings our plates, and my eyes widen as I take in the food that he sets in the middle of the table; he places a couple of empty plates on the end. Once he’s gone, I look at Erik. “Um, this is a lot of food.”

  “There’s a homeless vet that hangs out in the alley behind our building. I try and bring him some food.” I watch him, expecting him to puff out his chest like he’s bragging, but instead he grabs a plate and starts scooping food onto it before handing it to me. The man is an enigma.

  We eat in companionable silence, probably because we’re both stuffing our faces. He’s a huge guy, so I’m not surprised that he eats a lot. I really shouldn’t eat anymore, though. I’ve got curves, and if I’m not careful, they’ll become more pronounced.

  Ryan’s hateful words play in my head on a loop: “I wouldn’t need to fuck other women if you weren’t a fat fucking pig.” That was usually while I sat watching him cut up the dinner I made, and he’d put my serving on a little plate. Every Monday morning, I would have to step on the scale—if I’d gained, then I got slapped for each pound. God, I was so pathetic and weak.

  My eyes burn and my nose tingles. “I-I have to go to the bathroom.” Before he can say anything, I bolt toward the restrooms, praying the tears wait until I’m in the privacy of a bathroom stall.

  Luckily the room’s empty when I step inside, and I quickly shut myself inside the closest stall. I’ve learned over the years to cry silently—Ryan hated the sound of my crying and could barely tolerate Grant’s crying. I don’t know why I still let him get to me. Sure, it’s only been two years, but I got the courage to leave—to press charges in order to protect me and my son.

  Of course it was too late for Grant, because he finally witnessed how weak I truly was. “Stop,” I whisper to myself. It’s not going to do my son any good to see me wallowing in guilt. I take a couple of deep breaths and rapidly blink to stop the tears. Grabbing some toilet paper, I dry my eyes, take a deep breath, and exit the stall.

  After splashing some cold water on my face, I head back out to the table to see Erik sticking his card back in his wallet. I sit down across from him.

  “How much do I owe you?”

  Erik looks up at me, and then his gaze examines my face. I wait for him to ask what’s wrong, but instead, he says, “I asked you out to lunch. It’s on me. I had them box up the food on your plate for you, and the rest is for him.”

  I nod. “T-Thanks.” Picking up my purse, I follow him out of the restaurant and to his car. He doesn’t say anything, for which I’m glad. When we pull into the garage and get out of the SUV, I watch Erik grab the bigger container out of the back seat. He’s walking to the opening of the garage when a tall, rail-thin man approaches him. The man takes the box and shakes Erik’s outstretched hand.

  A warm feeling fills me as I watch him with the homeless man. Erik says goodbye to him and leads me toward the elevator. When we reach our floor, he leads me out the elevator with a hand to my lower back like a true gentleman, taking me right to my desk and pulling out my chair for me.

  Before I sit, I turn and look up at him. “Thank you for lunch.”

  He gives me a smile that makes my belly quiver. “You’re welcome.” Erik takes my container of food. “I’ll stick this in the refrigerator for you.” I watch him disappear into the back, and then I sit down.

  The rest of the day, I work on autopilot. My thoughts are all over the place. Ryan runs through my mind, plus the night I spent with Erik, and then Erik some more every time I see him. By the time five o’clock rolls around, I gather my things and head into the back to grab my food. When I step into the break room, I freeze when I spot Erik with his back to the door, standing in front of the TV.

  Erik turns and shoots me a grin. “Taking off?” he asks.

  “Yep, but I, ahh…I wanted to ask if you’d like to go get dinner with me.” He doesn’t say anything, so I quickly add, “Of course it’s no problem if you have plans and can’t.”

  He walks closer and stops right in front of me. “I’d love to have dinner with you. How about pizza?”

  I nod. Again we head out, and he helps me into the passenger side. We decide to grab pizza at Lou Malnati’s. Inside the restaurant, I roll my eyes as every single woman gives Erik googly eyes. We get seated in front of a window that gives us a nice view outside.

  Erik orders a beer and I order a glass of wine. My mouth waters when Erik orders us stuffed spinach bread. When they take our pizza order, he requests a large deep-dish pie with sausage. “What are you doing? We can’t eat all that.”

  “I know. I just figure what we don’t finish, you can take home to Grant.”

  I stare at him. Where’s the cocky guy who checks out other women in front of me? Where’s the cocky grin that seems to always be on his face? “That’s really sweet of you.” Our waitress drops off our drinks, lingering by our table until I shoot her a look I hope conveys how much I find her unbelievable. I shoot a similar look to Erik when he chuckles.

  I stick out my tongue at him, grab my wine, and take a hearty swallow. We make small talk while we wait for our appetizer, and as soon as it comes, we both dig in. Erik takes a swallow of his beer. “What made you decide to ask me out?”

  I’m surprised by his question, but a little shocked he didn’t ask me sooner. I tear apart the bread in my hand. “I was just hoping we could talk.”

  Chapter Six

 
; Erik

  The waitress takes my card after I argued with Shayla about who was paying. I know she’s the one who asked me out, but my mom would throw a fit if I let a woman pay on a date—no matter who made the first move.

  When she returns I sign the slip and pick up the box with our leftovers. Shayla takes my hand when I hold it out to her. I don’t let go of her as we head outside and to my SUV. Fall is right around the corner, and the evenings are becoming a lot cooler. When we climb in, I turn toward her. “You’re so beautiful.” I reach out, tucking a loose curl behind her ear.

  It’s still light enough that I see her cheeks turn the most adorable shade of pink. Her pearly whites bite her lower lip, and I want nothing more than to bite that lip myself. Fuck, I’d love nothing more than to sink into her tight pussy again, but she’s not ready for that—not yet, at least.

  “Thank you.” Her voice is soft, but unsure. “Erik, you don’t want to date me. I’m not really in a place where I should be dating, either. Plus you’re a good-looking guy, and you can get any woman you want. Not one with the baggage I have.”

  Something about that statement pisses me off. I take a deep breath. “Your son is not baggage. Why do you think that having a child would make you undateable? What kind of guy do you think I am?”

  She shrugs. “Most single people want to be able to date and come and go as they please. I have a child, which means I have to arrange for a sitter because his dad isn’t in the picture and I don’t have any family. It doesn’t look good if I’m dumping my kid off to go on dates all the time.” Shayla looks away for a moment before turning back to me. “You’re right—he’s not baggage. My life is just…really complicated.”

  I want to ask why her son’s dad isn’t in the picture, but things are delicate with us right now. I’m gonna have to earn her trust before she opens up, and she doesn’t seem like someone who trusts easily. Both Carrie and Delilah have little information on her, or at least anything they were going to share.

  “What if I like complicated? Easy is boring.” It hits me that until I met Shayla, I was fucking bored. She’s kept me on my toes and off my game since I’ve met her.