by J. A. Huss
“Wait, we’re not going outside.”
“Define outside.”
“Mateo—”
“Shannon—”
“I don’t want to fuck in the front yard.”
“You do,” he whispers, biting my ear again. “Trust me.”
When he says trust me he really means it. It’s not a flippant joke or something casual. He’s serious. He’s asked me to trust him a lot over the past few months. “Fine.” I give in. I always give in.
He takes my hand again and leads me forward, flipping out all the lights in the house as we pass through rooms. The scarf is see-through, but only when the lights are on. So by the time we make our way to the front of the house, I can’t see shit. It’s got to be past eleven at night right now, and the porch light isn’t on when we cross over the threshold, him giving me a little warning about the lip of wood trim that separates the house from the porch.
“Does this excite you?” I ask. “Fucking me on the porch in the dark?”
“Should I turn the lights on?”
“No.” I laugh.
“Then don’t jump to conclusions about what we’re doing.”
I bite my lip, nervous. What did I agree to this time?
“Stand right here.”
I take a deep breath and let it out as I listen to the creak of the screen door on the porch. “Mateo?”
“Don’t move,” he orders me. But he’s not on the porch, he’s out in the yard. And the screen door is still open because I never heard it slam shut.
“What are you doing?” I whisper. But he’s either ignoring me or he’s not close enough to hear.
His footsteps get louder as he comes back up the stairs and passes me, his hands on my shoulders as he gently moves me aside and then flips a switch.
The front yard lights up. “Oh, my God, what the hell are you doing?”
“Quiet,” he says. “I want you absolutely quiet until you can’t stop yourself from screaming my name.”
“That’s never gonna happen.”
“So you say now. And don’t worry, I might want to fuck in public, but the whole point is to never let anyone see you but me. The lights are on the flower bed, not the porch.”
He’s right, I realize. I’m not lit up, I’m in the shadows. In fact there’s just enough light to—“Hey.” I squint my eyes at the dark shadow of his body as he walks down towards the street. “Where are you going?” I call. What the fuck? I want to take this blindfold off and see what the hell he’s up to, but I don’t want to spoil the game just yet.
A few seconds later his shadow jogs back towards me.
“Where did you go?”
“I was checking something across the street.” He closes the front door to the house and pushes me up against it. “A tripod, Shannon. I put a camera across the street zooming in on you.”
Fuck.
There’s plenty of cars going by on Broadway, so if anyone was looking real hard, they could probably see me. But it’s late, so not many people.
He places something cold and hard in my hand. “Take it,” he says.
It’s a vibrator. The one we use to play. He loves to watch me masturbate. Especially when I’m in my bedroom at home. And even though he doesn’t watch every night, I put on a show for him anyway. I’m like a fucking nympho these days. And when he doesn’t fuck me, I’m desperate for an orgasm when I get home. Every once in a while he texts me a picture that he took while he was watching.
It makes me wet. Right now. It makes me wet just thinking about what he’s doing.
“Get off,” he whispers in my ear. “Right here, on my porch. With the screen door open and the camera rolling. I’m going to sit on the chair off to the side and do the same. And then I’m going to take you inside, play it back on the bedroom TV, and make you come again.”
I take a deep, deep breath.
“Begin.”
I press the controls on the vibrator until it’s at full power, and then I place it between my legs, pressing it into my folds and letting out a sigh. All I hear are the cars and Mateo’s breath hitching up a notch, but the thumping in my own chest soon drowns out those sounds.
“I like that,” he says. “You should see yourself.” And then he chuckles in that throaty way that drives me wild. “You will see yourself.”
“What are you doing?” I ask, hearing his clothes rustle around.
“Taking my dick out and wrapping my fist around it.”
“Tell me more, since I can’t see you.” This request gives me a little thrill. I’ve never had this much control over him before. I never get to ask him these things.
“The light is filtering in from the front yard so that it climbs up your body in a soft haze. I can see your pussy as you play with it.” He scoots his chair across the concrete and the next time he talks, he’s closer to me. “It’s wet, isn’t it?”
I press the vibrator against my clit, moving it around the way I like it. “It’s ready for you, Mateo,” I say. “Not this stupid piece of plastic.”
“Yeah?”
I nod, biting my lip a little. “How much can people see?”
“When you watch the film you’ll know. Now keep focused because I’m not letting you go inside until you come.”
“Talk dirty to me. I need your help.”
He chuckles. “I will, but not because you need my help. I’ve watched you dozens of times in your bedroom. What do you think about when you play with yourself, Shannon?”
“You, of course.”
“My hard cock in your mouth.”
I lick my lips. “Always. I want it now.”
He moans and I can hear the friction he’s creating with his pumping. “When I stand outside your window and watch you with your vibrator, I jerk off every time.”
I start moving the vibrator faster, the sensations increasing. It’s not cold out at night now that it’s spring, but my nipples are bunched up in tight knots. “Why not just come inside and fuck me then? You know I’d never say no.”
“I love that about you,” he says, his breathing even heavier now. I hear more rustling and I can feel his body heat as he gets closer to me. His cock bumps up against my stomach, his fist vigorously moving back and forth, thrusting against my skin with each stroke. “I love that you never say no. But I like to watch you alone. You never give in completely when we’re together. Always so guarded, even when you’re naked. Always so careful, even when you’re vulnerable. But in your own room, you let all that go and just relax. Do you feel safe there?”
“No.” I laugh. “I feel safe with you.”
He kisses my neck, one hand grasping at my hair, the other still working on his cock. “Right answer. You’re always safe with me. Do you want to trade places?”
“And you put the blindfold on?” I ask.
He laughs and it rings out in the empty night.
“Shhh,” I say.
“No, I’m not putting the blindfold on. I mean, do you want me to get you off and you get me off?”
I reach for his cock. He’s so hard and the pool of wetness between my legs increases when he slips his finger inside me. “Oh,” I moan softly. “I like that.”
“You like when I stick things inside you, Shannon?” He takes the vibrator from my hand and pushes it into my pussy. I can only moan. “You like when I fuck you?” His fingertips roll my nipple and then pinch, making me gasp. But at the same time, he thrusts the vibrator in farther.
“Someone’s walking down the sidewalk towards us, Shannon. If you don’t come soon, he’s going to turn his head when I make you scream. He’s going to catch us. Probably stop and watch us. Do you want that?”
I think he’s lying to make me nervous. It’s working, but I still think he’s lying. “No,” I say, moving my hips to the motion of his hand with the vibrator. “No. I want to get off right now so you can take me inside.”
“I think,” he says, turning me around and taking each of my hands and placing them palms flat against t
he door, “I’d like to be fucking you from behind when that guy walks by.”
“How far away is he?” I really can’t tell if he’s lying.
“Mmmm.” Mateo thinks. “Maybe two minutes.” And then he thrusts his dick inside me so hard, I gasp. “I like it loud. The louder you are, the faster I’ll go.”
“Mateo—”
He thrusts against my ass, his balls smacking my pussy. “Louder,” he says. “Your turn to talk dirty to me.”
OK, if there really is a guy coming, I need to be inside when that happens. And if there isn’t, I still want to be inside. So I play along. “Reach around and play with my pussy. Rub my clit, Mateo. Rub it and make me come, and I’ll scream your name loud enough to wake up the whole neighborhood.”
He starts fucking me harder. He grabs my hip with one hand and snakes the other around my belly, fingers flicking back and forth across my most sensitive spot. I can feel my excitement building, but then he stops, reaches down for something, and brings the vibrator back up between my legs. He rubs it against my clit so hard, I begin to lose control. But when his finger unexpectedly slips inside my ass, I’m there.
He pounds me hard, the sound of skin against skin echoing through the night. I picture the man walking by, stopping to watch us. Mateo won’t even know, his back is turned.
The vibrator thrums against me in just the right way, and I do exactly what he wanted.
I scream his fucking name.
He starts laughing, and then reaches over and turns the door handle so that we go tumbling into the small foyer.
“What the hell?” I ask, giggling on the floor next to him.
“Nice show,” a voice calls from near the street.
“Fuck you,” Mateo calls back. “You wish you saw something, asshole.”
I rip the blindfold off and stare at him. “He did not see anything.”
Mateo laughs and shrugs. “Nothing but my ass pounding you from behind.”
We get up and take the party inside after that. He retrieves the camera and we watch the show from the point of view of the apartments across the street, laughing our asses off. Rolling around in bed, talking and being happy.
God, he makes me happy. Please, make him stay with me so I can stay happy.
Chapter Thirty-One
“Last day of school,” Danny says, walking up to me as I make my way to my locker in the back of the campus. “You ready?”
“So fucking ready,” I say, smiling. I haven’t seen much of Danny since he helped me with my ear. I see him at lunch and stuff. And he’s been by talking to Jason a few times. Which is weird, but Jason was probably buying pot. I haven’t smoked it since the semester started. Mateo is not into drugs. We really don’t even drink all that much, unless we’re having dinner at Alesci’s and he sneaks me some wine with our food. But I am a new convert to the straight and narrow, so I have no room to criticize Jason in that department.
I do criticize him for losing interest in his daughter though. Kids are hard, and Olivia’s easy infancy did him no favors in that department. He’s drunk more, for one. And that’s saying something since he’s been getting drunk at least once a week since Jill died.
And I do hate the fact that he’s almost never home. He’s gone all day and then only home long enough to drop off Olivia before he goes to work at night. And there are lots of mornings when I wake up and his bed was not slept in and Olivia is just gone. She isn’t as content now that she’s six months old. She has a lot more opinions and Jason can’t just give her a bottle and expect her to be satisfied. She needs a lot of attention. And she’s very loud when she doesn’t get what she needs.
“So,” Danny says. “What are your big post-grad plans? Marriage and kids with the man of your dreams?”
He’s close. I do fantasize about that. But Mateo is leaving in two days for Arizona to help install the new software at the Phoenix Planetarium. That was his first sale post-Hawaii trip and since then he’s set up a full year’s worth of consultations around the country. He says he’s even got international orders now. He officially became Dr. Mateo Alesci, PhD, last week after his defense.
It scares the fuck out of me, if I’m being honest. We’re in totally different places. I can’t go with him, obviously. I can’t leave Olivia, especially when Jason has been acting so strange.
“Shannon?”
“Huh?”
“Big future plans?”
“Oh, well, I’ve been designing the websites for Alesci’s restaurants. And Gigi wants me to make menus and marketing stuff next. So I guess I’m a graphic designer.”
“Living the dream, huh?”
“Right.”
“Why are you so pissy with me?”
“I’m not,” I say, feeling very pissy right now.
“Please.” Danny laughs. “I know you better than that. Trouble in paradise?”
“He’s just working late tonight in LA, that’s all. And he’s leaving for Phoenix on Friday, so I’m feeling needy, I guess.”
“Hmmm, working late in LA, huh?” Danny says. “I saw him a little while ago, so he must not’ve left yet.”
“Where?” I ask, startled out of my funk. “He left last night.”
“No, I swear. I saw him getting gas over by Vons.”
I don’t say anything to that, but inside I’m trying to figure out why Mateo would lie about going to LA last night.
“You should come to my party tonight and be needy with me.”
“I don’t think so. I have to watch Olivia, anyway.”
“Nah, I heard Jason say he was leaving her at Dana’s tonight so he can work. They’re tight now, I guess. I never thought they’d make a good couple, but—”
“Dana? Wait. What?” I have to stop and shake my head. “Jason and the babysitter?” What the fuck is happening to this day? First Mateo and now Jason.
“You didn’t know?” Danny looks at me like I’m an idiot. “How does that happen? He’s been over there every day for months.”
“He drops her off and goes to work all day.”
“Is that what he told you?” Danny laughs. “Jesus Christ. Forget I mentioned it.”
“Wait,” I say, grabbing his arm so he can’t walk off. “Tell me, Danny. He’s fucking the babysitter?”
“Do you care?”
“Well, not really. But I do care that he’s been lying to me all semester. I’ve been staying with Olivia every night almost so he can work that second job. Is he even working at night?”
“Oh, he’s working. He’s working for Phil, that’s where he’s working at. And that’s the only job he’s got as far as I know.”
“Phil?”
“Dealing, Shannon. Like me, only he does the risky stuff. Runs to Tijuana and shit to pick up coke. That’s why he’s gone all night sometimes.”
I almost fall over. “He’s a drug runner for Phil?”
“How do you manage to stay so clueless?” Danny is looking at me like I’m a moron now. And I am. How didn’t I know this? Mateo, that little part of my brain that makes sense says. Mateo is the only thing that’s been on my mind.
“Didn’t Mateo mention it?”
“Why would Mateo know about Jason?”
Danny has to blink several times at my apparent ignorance. “Are you fucking with me right now?”
“I mean, I know they know each other from high school and stuff.”
“Did Mateo tell you that?”
“No, we never talk about Jason. Not really. Mateo asks about him casually, like if Jason’s going to work at night and stuff, so Mateo knows he can bring me dinner.”
Danny just stares at me. And then he laughs. And laughs, and laughs, and laughs.
“What?” I demand. “What’s so funny?”
“Your boyfriend’s a very talented liar, Shannon. I wanted to say something earlier, but it’s none of my business, right? And you’d just assume I was making a move on you and then hate me afterward. But wow, I thought you had more street cred than this.
The guy is a fucking narc. He’s busted at least three major dealers in the past year alone. He works for the fucking Anaheim Task Force as an informant.”
“How the hell do you know this? I mean, it’s not like narcs go around announcing it.”
Danny huffs out a long breath of air. “Oh, we all know it. He’s had a long history. What the fuck do you think happened to my mom?”
“Your mom? What?”
“He busted her, Shannon. Right after high school. He was fucking her for drugs and then one day he decided to quit and go to college, and when she said she wasn’t interested in his straight-edge lifestyle and dumped him, he turned her in. And do you know what he told me, Shannon? Do you know what he had the nerve to tell me as they were handcuffing my mom and taking her off to jail?”
I swallow hard and shake my head.
“He said, ‘Hey, kid, it’s for your own good.’ I was eight years old, Shannon. Eight fucking years old. And I don’t care how bad your fucking mother is, when you’re eight years old, you love her no matter what.”
“That really sucks, Danny. But Mateo is an astronomer now. He’s been working on his PhD all semester. I saw his dissertation defense last week. That’s what he does. He’s not a fucking narc.”
“Whatever,” Danny says. “I don’t know for sure that he’s behind all those busts, but he’s got a history of it. And I might not have a PhD, but I’m not stupid. I know how to draw a conclusion.”
I don’t know what to say. I walk over to the steps of a nearby building and take a seat before I pass out.
Danny comes and sits down next to me “Sorry, OK? I didn’t want to be the one to tell you all this. I just figured you were smart enough to see through him. He’s a liar, Shannon. A very gifted liar. And fucking weird, don’t you think?”
Every moment we’ve had together runs through my mind. Weird. He could be. But I signed up for all of it too, so what does that say about me?
“He’s gone tonight, right?”
I nod.
“Well, come over then. Just be a normal kid for once. I’m having a party to celebrate and I consider you a good friend. You should be there. We’re graduating, Shannon. You worked your ass off this semester to make it happen. Let go for once and forget what that weird fuck has to say about it. I mean, really. Do you think he’s gonna stick around now that he’s finished with school? Come over and have fun with me. And I’m not making a move on you, OK? I’ve got my eye on someone and we’ve been fucking around for a few weeks. That’s not what I’m after.”