Enticing the Weary Warrior

by Tammy Jo Burns

  “Didn’t Justin say he had men taking him to Newgate?”

  “I believe so. Could it be someone who felt their title would be threatened if Legend won? He has won every race since coming to England and racing is serious business here.”

  “And it was just a hobby in Ireland?”

  “You know what I’m trying to say.”

  “You’re saying that what I did didn’t matter until I came here.”

  “Dammit, Meg, I’m not going to fight with you about this,” Liam stood and began pacing. “Someone tried to kill you. I thought you were going to die. Do you have any idea how that feels?”

  “Yes,” she said bluntly, looking at him. “And now I’m glad you do as well. I want to be alone.”

  “No.”

  “Mama!” Paddy exclaimed as he burst through the door. “Annie says that you’re hurt and I should leave you alone. Are you all right, Mama?”

  “I’m better now that you’re here, my handsome boy.”

  “I’m sorry, my lord, my lady, Paddy got away from me,” Annie said as she caught her breath.

  “It’s fine. In fact, he’s going to spend some time with me and keep me company so his Papa can go and see to whatever business it is he has.”

  “Are you certain, my lady?”

  “Positive. Go on. Enjoy your free time. Now, Paddy, tell me everything you’ve done the last few days.”

  “Our discussion isn’t over,” Liam told Megan after Annie left the room.

  “It is for now,” she turned back to Paddy and ignored her husband.

  Chapter 25

  Megan healed slowly. She still had bouts of dizziness, but overall she seemed better. Her temper was, at least, back to normal, and she unleashed it on Liam one afternoon after being told by Hamrick that everyone had orders not to let her leave the premises without an armed escort.

  Anger coursed through her at Liam’s high-handedness, as if she were fine porcelain that would crack if handled too roughly. She stomped back to the house and searched for her wayward husband. He was nowhere to be found. Either he was hiding from her or he had slipped off to London without telling her. They were playing such a fine game of cat and mouse about one another, that she would not be surprised if he had done just that.

  She was upstairs in the library when she looked out the window and saw Liam riding his horse up the drive. Despite her anger, her heart did a staccato beat when she saw him. He had yet to hold her, and he had yet to answer her questions as to why he avoided her. But if she were to be honest, now she was the one avoiding him. Well, not anymore. She was tired of being wrapped in wool. She would suffocate if things didn't change soon.

  Megan left the room and raced down the stairs and out the door, letting it bang against the wall. She ran down the drive, yelling his name as she went. Halfway to the stable, she started to see spots and the world began to spin sickeningly. She stumbled and went to her knees. The sound of shouts and boots pounding on the ground managed to make it past the buzzing sound in her ears.

  “Go get Jack,” she heard Liam shout the order.

  “Not necessary,” she muttered.

  “I’ll decide what is and isn’t necessary.” He picked her up and carried her to the house.

  “I—”

  “Not now.”

  “But I—”

  “Dammit, Meg. Can you just do one thing that I ask you? Be quiet for just a few minutes. All right?”

  Megan saw the added lines bracketing his mouth and around his eyes. Had they been there before, or was she responsible for those as well? Did he really care for her? She took the opportunity of being this close to him and wrapped her arms about his neck and pressed her cheek to his. She slid her fingers through his overlong hair, enjoying the silkiness against her skin. Megan could feel the tenseness in his body slowly ease.

  She noticed that they entered the rarely used gaming room. He sat in a chair. Light filtered through the window, illuminating them in a romantic haze. It was as if they were the only two people in the world. She cuddled closer to him and instead of pushing her away, he actually tightened his arms, holding her close. Did his lips just brush my neck, or am I so desperate for his touch my imagination has taken over? she thought.

  “What happened?” Liam asked.

  “What?” she responded, caught off guard when he asked the question.

  “What happened?” he asked again, more slowly this time.

  “I needed to talk to you, and I had a dizzy spell.”

  “I think you needed to do more than talk. We could hear you screaming my name all the way down at the stables.”

  “I wasn’t screaming. I might yell, but I never scream.”

  “Never?” he asked huskily, a brow cocked arrogantly.

  “Not that you would know,” she countered. “Perhaps I should remind you just what does go on.” She kept one arm hooked around his neck for leverage and cupped his face with her free hand. Out of society, he had foregone shaving, and the roughness of his beard caressed her palm and fingertips. She angled her head and brushed a kiss against his lips, featherlight at first. Then she deepened the kiss, easing her way past the seam of his and into the moist dark cavern of his mouth. “Kiss me back,” she pleaded when he remained still.

  “No.”

  “You don’t want me anymore, do you? It may not be that woman, Cassie, but it’s someone isn’t it? Someone who isn’t as much trouble.”

  “Megan!”

  She slipped from her husband’s lap upon hearing her friend call her name. He held her wrist gently, but she twisted it, breaking the contact they had. “Five years was just too long, wasn’t it? We’re just too different.”

  “Megan!”

  “In here,” she called.

  Jacqueline appeared in the doorway, her hair flying about her head. “What happened? By the way the footman was taking on, we should be digging your grave.”

  “It was just a dizzy spell. They strike randomly. Liam is overly worried.”

  “Let me help you up to your room, and you can tell me everything that led up to it and how you were feeling before.”

  “No more bedroom,” Megan pleaded.

  “If you’re nice, I’ll let you sit in a chair.”

  “Oh, goody,” Megan said sarcastically as the two women left the room, arms locked about one another.

  * * *

  A short time later Jacqueline returned without Megan. “I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but you have to fix it. The emotional stress she’s under isn’t helping the dizziness to go away.”

  “You don’t think I’m trying?”

  “I don’t know that you’re trying hard enough. Let me explain something to you. I’m a healer. I’m not a miracle worker. I can only do so much. I can’t tell you why she’s still having dizzy spells. Perhaps there was permanent damage done and she will always suffer from dizziness. It could be the stress of your relationship. I do know this is beyond me. I have done everything I know to do.”

  “What should I do?”

  “Take her to London. Find a physician that will see her. One that will not say that the answer to what ails her is to bleed her. I have come to consider Megan as my very good friend, and it’s killing me to see her suffer and not be able to help her. It also pains me to see the hurt in her eyes every time you two have ended one of your conversations. She needs to find happiness.”

  “I’ll take her to London. Will she be able to travel tomorrow?”

  “She should be.”

  “Will you go with us?” Liam asked.

  “I stay as far away from London as I possibly can,” the redhead said vehemently. “Perhaps you should think about taking Paddy with you. He seems to calm her.”

  “All right, then. I’ll make arrangements immediately.” He watched the woman nod and turn to leave the room. “Jacqueline,” she turned at the doorway and looked at him. “Thank you for being such a good friend to Megan. Not even growing up did she have many fema
le friends. She has needed that.”

  “I do believe that is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “Not quite, but close,” he said.

  “Take care of her.”

  “I will.”

  * * *

  Megan slipped into the alcove beneath the stairs so as not to be seen by Jacqueline. Liam left the room as well. She replayed the conversation she had eavesdropped on as she slowly climbed the stairs. Could something truly be horribly wrong with her? Could she be dying? Her heart began to beat frantically at the thought. I’m too young. I’ve just now gotten back both Liam and Paddy. I can’t be dying!

  “Calm down,” she muttered to herself. She flexed her hands as she walked up the stairs. “Why can’t our lives just be normal? I just want to wake up in my husband’s arms every morning and go to sleep in them every night. I want us to watch Paddy grow into a man. Why does all this have to happen to us?” She let herself into their suite and made it as far as the settee before she collapsed on it.

  Tears of fear burned her eyes. A sob rose up the back of her throat, and no matter how hard she fought it, it would not remain at bay. She twisted and buried her face in her arms along the seat as sobs wracked her body.

  “Meg, what’s wrong?”

  A pair of strong arms shifted her until she was cradled against warm skin and cloth. When she really cried, like she was now, she wasn’t a pretty crier. She knew her eyes would be swollen and her face splotchy, and yet she couldn’t stop. She heard Liam cooing words into her ear, words that made no sense at the moment, but she knew he was trying to soothe her. But for this fear there was no soothing. She had been raised around horses. Megan knew the stories of men who had been injured. Men who had been seemingly healthy one day and dropped dead the next. Men who they thought had healed from whatever injury they had sustained only to die two weeks later.

  “Meg, love, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “D…d…d…ie.”

  “What?”

  She could hear the confusion in Liam’s voice and knew that she wasn’t making any sense. She could barely talk past the sobs closing up her throat. She shook her head, unable to say the word again and instead clung to him. Megan held tightly to the man who no longer wanted her, to the only man she would ever want. And with that thought she only sobbed harder, even more distraught.

  “Should I send for Jacqueline?”

  She could only answer by shaking her head in the negative, which caused the pounding in her head to intensify. Tomorrow when she woke up, she knew she would wish she were dead. No, never that, she clarified. “Just. Hold. Me,” she somehow managed to get out.

  “Always, for as long as you need me,” he whispered in here ear and kissed her temple.

  I’ll always need you, she wanted to scream, but instead she clung to him and cried harder.

  * * *

  “Meg?” Liam asked gently. She answered with a snuffle, but her eyes were closed. She had cried herself to sleep. He carefully stood with his precious burden and carried her to her room. He tried to lay her down on the bed, but she refused to let go of him, even in sleep. When he did try to remove her hold on him, she whimpered pitifully and locked her arms tighter about his neck. Somehow he managed to place her on the bed and climb up after her without her ever letting go of him.

  She lay on her side, facing him, and he soothingly rubbed her back. He was lost in his thoughts when he felt a tug on his other arm. He looked over to see Paddy standing beside the bed.

  “Mama was going to tell me a story,” he said mutinously, his bottom lip stuck out and began to quiver.

  Liam quickly decided today was just not his day. “How about you climb up here, little man, and tell me and your Mama a story instead?”

  With Liam’s help, Paddy excitedly scrambled up onto the bed. The little boy sat on his knees between Liam and Megan and put his hands on his hips. “Papa, Mama’s sleeping. She can’t hear my story.”

  “I’m awake,” she mumbled, and pushed herself away from Liam.

  Liam immediately felt the loss of her closeness, of her body pressed against his.

  “Good. Papa said I could tell you both a story.” Paddy crawled up between them and lay on Liam’s outstretched arm. He began rattling off a story about puppies and rabbits that could talk. Megan lay on her side facing the two men and played with Paddy’s hair until he fell asleep.

  “I think the moral of that story is that he wants a puppy.” Liam chuckled.

  “I think you may be right,” Megan agreed, a smile flitted across her lips.

  “And what is the moral of your story?”

  “Not now,” Megan whispered.

  “When?”

  Megan bit her lower lip and shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes once more.

  “Right. Well, I’ll leave you two,” he said and started to leave the bed when he felt a hand clutching his shirt. He looked down to see it was feminine and not a child’s.

  “Stay,” Megan said so softly he almost missed it. “Please,” she added when he hesitated. He relaxed back against the pillows and he felt her death grip on his shirt ease. He turned on his side and captured her hand with his, entwining their fingers together. Their hands rested on Paddy’s tummy as they lay there, watching one another until darkness descended.

  * * *

  “I’m taking you to London and I don’t want to hear any arguments.”

  “I don’t need to go to London.”

  “Can you explain the reason you continue to have dizzy spells?”

  “No,” she said sullenly.

  “Well, neither can Jack. She is the one who told me to take you to London. She’s worried about you. I’m worried about you.” He captured her upper arms in his hands, squeezing tightly.

  “I don’t want to die,” she whispered.

  “Is that what last night was about?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It isn’t necessarily something I really wanted to talk about. I still don’t.”

  “Then go to London with me. I have some tricks up my sleeve. Trust me.”

  “Fine. But we’ll leave Paddy here.”

  “I agree, but Paddy will want to go and Jacqueline seems to think it would be better if we took him.”

  “Better for whom? No, Paddy’s staying here with Annie and Hamrick or I don’t go.”

  Four hours later, Megan was still trying to get Paddy to release her from his death grip. The little boy was tired of those he loved leaving him, and it was taking its toll on him. Liam walked into the nursery with a squirming bundle of fur under his arm.

  “Paddy, I have something for you.”

  “What?” the boy asked sullenly.

  Liam sat the little ball of fur down and somehow the pup and the boy made their way to each other.

  “Well, what do you think?”

  “I love him!” Paddy squealed with delight, squeezing the pup.

  “Easy now,” Megan said, gentling his hold. “He still needs to grow some before you can hug him like that.” She scratched the little ball of fur behind his ears. “What is he?”

  “One of my uncle’s pups.”

  “You wrote to him.”

  “Yes.”

  Megan had to clear her throat before she could talk. “Well, Paddy, what are you going to name him?”

  “I don’t know yet, Mama,” the boy said with the utmost patience in his tone of voice. “I’ve only just met him.”

  “He has a good point,” Liam agreed.

  “You’re right. We’re going to give you two some time alone so that you can figure out the perfect name for him.” They said goodbye to Paddy and promised to be back soon. Thankfully his new playmate had his attention now. They entered the coach and it trundled slowly down the drive turning at the end onto the road that would connect with the London road. “Thank you for getting him the puppy.”

  “It was my pleasure.”

  “What did you
r uncle say?”

  “That I had a lot of explaining to do, but he was glad I was among the living. He was going to share the news with my brother and sister and hoped to see us soon.”

  After passing the house she had seen him coming out of almost a fortnight, Megan took a deep breath and finally broached the topics she had been avoiding discussing with him. “I saw you coming out of that house. I am guessing it is the vicarage.”

  “You would be correct.”

  “Was that your first time to visit?”

  “No.”

  “I see.”

  “No, you don’t, and I suppose it’s time I start sharing some things with you. I’ve been visiting with Vicar Brown on a regular basis. He lets me talk about the war. My experiences. What I saw. What continues to haunt me. My nightmares.”

  “You’ve told me some things already, why couldn’t you tell me what you shared with the vicar?”

  “Meg, the things I saw, that I talk to him about, I don’t want to share with you.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I don’t want to taint you. Because you shouldn’t have to hear what I went through.”

  “But you trust the vicar.”

  “It’s not so much as trust, it’s a cleansing of my soul. I pray the man is deaf and can’t hear what I talk about, but I’m afraid that isn’t true. It also helps that he was a military chaplain before coming to this vicarage. He has witnessed some of the things himself.”

  “What did you live through that you can’t share with me?”

  “Let’s just say that war is not for the faint of heart, and I did some things that I’m not proud of.”

  “So, you’ve been protecting me?” she asked, looking across the coach at him.

  “I guess you could say that.”

  “Have your nightmares gone away?”

  “Not completely, but I have fewer, and it’s longer between them.”

  “That’s go—”

  One of the coach’s wheels hit a hole in the road, causing the occupants to be rattled. Megan felt Liam grip her hand and pull her across the coach before her head could hit the wall behind her. He tucked her beside him and wrapped an arm around her.

  “What are you doing?”