Barbara L. Clanton - Going, Going, Gone - Suzie's Story

by Barbara L. Clanton

  She inspected her feet one at a time. The right one was swollen and bloody from something sharp she'd stepped on just after her scare with the growling animal. Maybe the store clerk could help her out. She glanced inside the convenience store, but didn't spot the clerk.

  She took that as a sign from the universe to try and call Marlee again. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a quarter. It felt oddly comforting in her hand, like it was a lifeline. She held it tightly and picked up the phone receiver again. This time she pressed the numbers for Marlee's home phone. She smiled remembering four months earlier when she had searched the phone book for a McAllister listing. There was only one McAllister listed in Clarksonville, so she had chanced it way back then hoping Marlee would answer. She had, and Susie prayed that she would answer now.

  The phone clicked a few times, but there was no dial tone. Maybe it needed money. She slid the quarter in the slot. She heard another encouraging click, but the call still didn't connect. She slid three more quarters in, assuming it cost at least a dollar, but still got nothing. She slammed the receiver down praying her quarters would be returned. No such luck. The coin return remained empty.

  "Shit!" she muttered under her breath.

  "That phone's broke." An unshaven middle-aged guy wearing a stained undershirt barely containing his beer gut gestured to the phone. He had one hand on the door handle. "Use that one." He pointed to the other phone. She nodded, but he was already in the store, apparently not interested in her response, which was fine with her.

  The second phone seemed even dirtier than the first, but maybe that meant it worked and more people used it. She jammed her hand in her pocket and was about to pull out the rest of her quarters, when she remembered something. Her Tío Emilio, her mother's younger brother, would call from Brooklyn and somehow make her mother pay for it. Her mother always griped about it, but paid every single time. Susie had answered the phone once when he called. What was it the operator said? Something like, "Will you accept the charges?"

  She decided to try that. If that didn't work then she'd try to bribe the store clerk to let her use the store phone with the one dollar and fifty two cents she had left. If that didn't work--

  Susie took a deep breath and picked up the phone. She punched the zero button and waited.

  "Operator services," the mechanical voice said. Susie's stomach clenched and listened to the choices. "To place a collect call, press three."

  "Yes, that's it!" Susie said way too enthusiastically, but she didn't care. She punched the three button and then a live operator got on the phone. She gave the woman her information. There was silence on her end for several anxious moments, but there was no way she was going to hang up. Not when she had a live person on the other end. After what seemed like an eternity a voice came on the line.

  "Susie?" It was Mrs. McAllister.

  "Yeah. Hi. I'm so sorry to call--"

  "Honey," Mrs. McAllister interrupted, "are you okay? Where are you? We've been worried sick."

  They'd been worried sick? Maybe she wasn't as alone as she'd thought. "I'm--I'm okay. I'm, uh, kind of stuck."

  "Where are you?" Her voice sounded more worried than angry. "Do you need us to come get you?"

  "Yes. I'm sorry." Susie heard her own voice catch. She desperately didn't want to start crying again. Dios mío, she was so tired.

  "Honey," Mrs. McAllister soothed, "it's okay. We'll come get you. Where are you?"

  She knew where she was, but looked up at the store sign to make sure. "I'm on County Road Sixty Two at a Valero gas station. On the East Valley side of Clarksonville." She added the last part in case there was another Valero gas station on the other side of town. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

  "We haven't been to sleep."

  Susie heard a voice in the background. It must be Marlee.

  "Susie? Marlee and I are going to come get you, okay? Here's Marlee."

  Susie heard the phone change hands. "Susie, are you okay?" The panic in Marlee's voice was loud and painfully clear.

  "I'm fine, mi vida. I ran out of gas." Susie knew her feet weren't fine though. The longer she stood there on the concrete, the more she realized that she'd really abused them. Who knew what disgusting things she'd walked through on the road.

  "Where were you going? Were you coming here?" Marlee didn't let her answer. "Sam called me over two hours ago. She and your dad have been driving around looking for you. Apparently your family got frantic when you didn't come home. What happened?"

  Susie sighed into the phone. "I don't know. I--" The man with the beer gut came out of the store, so she stopped talking. She didn't want anybody to know she was stranded. Standing there with bloody bare feet probably give it away, but she waited.

  "Susie? Are you still there?"

  Susie breathed a sigh of relief when the man didn't even look at her. "Yeah, I'm here."

  "Why aren't you using your cell phone?"

  Susie filled her in briefly on what had happened. She left out her scare at the parking area and wasn't going to mention her bare feet, but figured she should since she didn't want to get blood all over their van. "Can you, uh, bring some old towels or something?"

  "Okay. Why?"

  "I cut my foot." Understatement.

  Marlee gasped. "Susie." The phone sounded muffled as Marlee said, "Mom, she cut her foot." Marlee's voice then came back loud and clear. "Stay where you are. You're only about eight or nine miles away. Are you safe where you are?"

  Susie looked around. "I'll stay near the doors, so the store clerk can see me."

  "Okay, my mom's ready. We'll see you in a few minutes."

  "Gracias, mi vida. Te quiero."

  "I love you, too," Marlee said in hushed tones. In a normal voice, she said. "I gotta go now. My mom's already in the van."

  "Bye." Susie waited for Marlee to hang up first. She held the phone receiver to her ear for several long minutes pretending she was still on the phone hoping that no one would bother her.

  She couldn't hold up the pretense any longer and reluctantly hung up the filthy phone receiver. She moved closer to the doors and, for the most part, no one bothered her. One middle aged couple hesitated at the door, looking her over. Susie thought they were about to ask if they could help her, but she looked away and moved back toward the phones. The man shrugged and held the door open for the woman to enter.

  After what seemed like years, the familiar white van pulled into the parking lot. The relief Susie felt made her legs wobbly, and she started to cry. Marlee was by her side in an instant. Susie leaned on her. If she wasn't so exhausted, she would have been more careful about showing affection for Marlee in front of her mother, but she didn't have the strength.

  Marlee started to lead her to the van, but Susie winced. Her feet hurt so bad.

  "Oh, man," Marlee said , "look at your feet. Here sit down."

  "No, can we just go?" Susie didn't want to stay any longer than she had to.

  "Okay, c'mon." Marlee put an arm around Susie's waist. "Put your arm over my shoulder. Mom, can you get on the other side?"

  Marlee's mother was much smaller than Marlee and Susie didn't want to hurt her, so she leaned mostly on Marlee as they helped her hobble to the van. She pulled herself up on the seat and was about to pull her feet inside when Marlee's mother stopped her.

  "Honey, I know all you want to do is get out of here, but let me at least look at your feet. Okay?"

  Susie nodded.

  "Have you been drinking?"

  "Mom!" Marlee protested.

  "It's okay," Susie said to Marlee. It was a fair question. She used to drink a lot when she hung out with Christy, but she didn't drink at all anymore. Marlee wouldn't like it. She simply shook her head. "I don't drink or do drugs."

  "Okay. I had to ask."

  "I know." Susie let Marlee's mother examine her feet. The look of compassion in her eyes almost sent Susie over the brink again.

  "Oh, honey. You have a piece of--" She stooped lower to ex
amine Susie's foot more closely. "Ah, you have a piece of gravel in there.

  How did you walk so far with that in your foot?"

  Susie shrugged.

  "Marlee," her mother said taking charge, "c'mon. Get in. We'll take care of her feet when we get home."

  Marlee scrambled to the other side of the van and then slid into the backseat next to Susie.

  Her mother slid Susie's door shut and got in the driver's side. "That piece of gravel is right there at the surface. I'm sure I can get that out, but not here." Her glance took in the busy late night gas station. The look on her face said she must have realized how different the night was, too.

  Marlee laughed, a nervous laugh, but then said, "Uh, oh. You're in trouble. Surgery in Mom's kitchen usually hurts."

  Susie forced a smile, because she knew Marlee was trying to cheer her up. She also caught the worried glance Marlee and her mother exchanged and knew she'd have to start talking soon.

  Marlee's mother didn't ask her any questions on the way to their house, but they did stop at Susie's car to leave a note that said the car ran out of gas. They also left the McAllister's home phone number taped inside the dash just in case. They'd deal with the car later.

  Once she'd hobbled inside the McAllister's kitchen, leaning on Marlee's shoulder the whole way, she sat down and knew it was time to explain why she was sitting in their kitchen with banged up feet at what turned out to be midnight. The bright lights of the kitchen made her suddenly feel unworthy. She felt as low as the low life's she'd seen out and about that night. Mrs. McAllister must think she was the lowest of Rican trash. Susie hid her face behind her hands when she started crying again. Dios, she just wanted to disappear.

  Marlee pulled a chair alongside her and rubbed her back. "It's okay, Susie. You're okay now."

  "You're safe here," Marlee's mother added.

  Without looking up Susie choked, "Can I--" She cleared her throat and tried again. "Water?" was all she could get out.

  Marlee's mother set a cold glass of water in front of her in a flash. Once Susie caught her breath, she lifted her head and took a sip of the water. She coughed when it didn't go down the right way, but tried again, that time successfully. She was so thirsty. Marlee's mother handed her a box of tissues. Susie took one and wiped at her eyes. She took another and blew her nose.

  Marlee continued to rub her back.

  Susie smiled her gratitude at both Marlee and her mother. They both smiled back sympathetically. They were probably afraid Susie would break down again if they actually spoke.

  "Okay, honey," Marlee's mom said to Susie after a while. "I have to clean up those feet."

  "No, I can--"

  "C'mon. Hand those feet over." Marlee's mother set her mouth firmly, but the tenderness still showed in her features.

  Marlee laughed. "There's no use struggling in Mom's operating room. I'll get you a bullet to bite, okay?"

  For the first time in hours, Susie laughed. Genuinely. "Okay."

  Following her mother's instructions, Marlee got a bucket, some old towels, hydrogen peroxide, anti-biotic ointment, and bandages. After first rinsing off her feet with warm water and then washing them gently, Marlee's mother used tweezers to dig for the piece of gravel lodged in Susie's foot. White hot pain shot through her foot, but the pain only lasted for a moment and then it was over. Marlee's mother held up the piece of rock between the ends of the tweezers.

  "It looks like an igneous rock," Susie said with a slight laugh.

  Marlee laughed with her. "You really are a rock hound."

  Susie nodded. "Told you."

  Marlee's mother cleaned the wounds with peroxide, applied the ointment, and then wrapped Susie's feet up in gauze. Susie's feet throbbed, but felt infinitely better.

  Marlee's mother instructed her to keep her feet elevated. "I don't think we need to take you to the emergency room, but we'll regroup in the morning."

  "I can stay?" Susie heard the relief in her own voice.

  "Of course, honey, but--"

  "I know. I need to call my parents." Susie smiled inside. Marlee's mother kept calling her, "honey," and it felt good.

  Marlee's mother nodded. "I don't want to intrude on your personal life, but maybe I should call them."

  Susie shot Marlee a look. That would be the easiest way out, but she knew she couldn't do that. The easy way out wasn't always easy. Just that morning she wanted to be in control of her own life, so she decided that it was her responsibility to talk to her parents by herself.

  "I'll call them," Susie said and then turned to Marlee. "Can you call Sam? Tell her I'm okay and that I'll call her in the morning."

  "I'm on it. She's probably still driving around. She was going to drive all the way here, but I told her I'd call if you showed up."

  "I almost made it." Susie shrugged.

  Marlee smiled. "Yeah, you almost did." Susie couldn't read the expression in Marlee's eyes. Concern? Love? Both. Definitely both.

  Marlee's mother pulled the cordless phone off its base. She handed it to Susie. "I'll be in the other room if you need me."

  "Thank you so much, Mrs. McAllister. I don't mean to cause problems."

  Marlee's mother put a hand up. "You're fine." She gestured toward the phone. "I think you have bigger things to worry about right now, though, don't you?"

  After Marlee's mother left the room, Susie turned toward Marlee.

  "I'm sorry."

  "Are you okay?" Marlee caressed Susie's cheek. "Sam said you had some kind of fight with your mom."

  Susie sighed and told Marlee what had happened in the kitchen. "My worst nightmare came true. My mother thinks I'm 'unnatural.' That I'm a freak of nature."

  "I don't think you're a freak of nature." Marlee leaned in and kissed Susie softly on the lips. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but a healing one. "And if you're a freak of nature, then so am I."

  "Te quiero, mi vida. I can't wait until we're the boss of us, and no one else is." Susie looked at the phone trying to find the courage to punch in the numbers.

  Marlee pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. "Let me call Sam." She gave Susie a quick hug and tapped in Sam's number. She returned her hand to Susie's back and rubbed gently.

  "Wish me luck." Susie steeled herself for round two.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I Think She Knows

  SUSIE PRESSED THE phone to her ear. She held her breath when she heard her father's voice.

  "Susana? Is that you?" Concern was etched in his voice.

  "Sí, Papi, soy yo." Susie teared up again. Marlee's hand rubbed her back.

  "Estás bien?"

  "I'm fine. I'm at Marlee's house." She wanted to say she was sorry, but she didn't quite know how.

  There was a short pause and then he asked, "Que pasó, mariposita? Tu madre está muy enojada."

  "Oh, really? Mami's angry?" Her gut started to simmer. "Is she angry at me or at herself?" This ought to be good. Susie squirmed in the kitchen chair. Marlee was sitting next to her talking quietly to Sam on her cell phone.

  Her father sighed into the telephone. "You and I need to talk before you come home."

  "Okay." Susie slumped in the kitchen chair. Her mother must hate her.

  Neither of them spoke for a while until her father said, "Are you sure you're okay?"

  Susie heard the uncertainty in his voice as if he wasn't sure what to do.

  "I ran out of gas, Papi."

  "Oh, no. Did you call for a tow truck?"

  "No, I was close to a gas station, so I called Marlee. She and her mother came to get me." Okay, so she left out a lot of details, but he didn't need to know everything.

  She told him that Marlee's mother was going to take her back to the car in the morning to put some gas in and see if they could get it started. If it still wouldn't start, she'd have it towed. He told her to have the car towed to Clarksonville since it was almost there already, and that he would call back in the morning to check up on her.

  She hung u
p the phone feeling better that he wasn't running around frantically worried about her, but she felt rotten that she and her mother were not only miles apart literally, but emotionally as well.

  Susie stared at the refrigerator, not ready to join the living yet.

  "Are you hungry?" Marlee asked, apparently noticing her fixation on the large appliance.

  Susie smiled. "Nah. I'm just tired. And I have to go to the bathroom."

  "C'mon." Marlee grabbed an arm and helped her stand up.

  Susie winced as she put her full weight on her throbbing feet.

  "Mom?" Marlee called. "We need you as a crutch."

  Marlee's mother came in and, together, they helped Susie to the bathroom.

  "Do you need help in there?" Marlee asked from the other side of the door.

  "No," Susie said with a laugh. "I remember how to do this all by myself." After she had relieved her aching bladder, she realized that her mouth tasted like fertilizer. "Hey, Marlee?"

  "Yeah?"

  Susie smiled. Marlee was still right outside the door. "Do you have a spare toothbrush?"

  "Yeah, hang on."

  Susie took that opportunity to wash her face and hands. She even washed all the way up her arms trying to wash the evening's memories away.

  "Here you go," Marlee called from the other side of the door.

  Susie opened the door wide and then shuffled back. She beckoned for Marlee to come in with her. Marlee looked over her shoulder, presumably to see if her mother was watching, and then stepped in quietly and clicked the door shut behind her.

  Susie opened her arms wide. She would have grabbed Marlee immediately, but it hurt too damn much to move on her feet. Marlee filled her arms willingly, and Susie kissed her once quickly and then pulled her into a tight hug. "Thank you for being my knight in shining armor tonight."

  Marlee squeezed Susie hard. "You're welcome, my damsel in distress."

  "I've never been anyone's damsel before."

  "I've never been anyone's knight."

  Susie released Marlee, but didn't let her get away. She leaned in for another kiss. If she wasn't so tired, the kiss might have escalated into more, but she pulled back and stroked Marlee's cheek. "Te quiero, mi cabellera."