In Deep

by Brenda Rothert

  “What about you?”

  “I promised her I wouldn’t leave. I’ll be able to sleep right here.”

  I tried to rest, but I couldn’t relax. I kept replaying Erica’s pained expression when she had to turn away from her daughter.

  She was sound asleep, so I chanced a quick trip to the bathroom just a few feet away. I’d just returned to my chair next to her bed when a slight woman with dark hair walked in.

  As soon as she laid eyes on Erica, her expression softened.

  “I’m her mom,” she said. “Someone named Ivy called me. I drove all night, but I didn’t make it in time.”

  “You’re here. That’s all that matters.”

  Our voices must have woken Erica up, because she shifted and opened her eyes, squinting at us.

  “Mom?”

  “Hi,” her mom said, walking around to the other side of the bed.

  “You came.” Her eyes flew open in alarm. “You aren’t leaving, are you?”

  “No. I’m not leaving.”

  Erica turned to me. “You can go home if you want to. Thank you, April.”

  I nodded and squeezed her hand one more time before slipping out of the room. Exhaustion hit me as soon as I stepped onto the elevator. I held it back, knowing I still had to drive home.

  I was in a fog on the trip home, only thinking about whether I had the energy for a shower before I went to bed. By the time I pulled into the driveway and parked, I’d decided I didn’t.

  When I went inside and walked into the living room, Mason was standing there. It was a replay of last night, but this time I was physically and emotionally exhausted.

  “Hey,” he said softly. “You okay?”

  He came toward me, covering the distance in just a few long strides. As soon as his arms wrapped around me, I fell against him. His chest was solid and warm. I pressed my face against it and finally let myself cry like I wanted to.

  “Is she okay?” he murmured in my ear after a couple minutes.

  “She’s okay,” I said, my voice muffled by his shirt. “And the baby’s healthy. But she gave her up to the adoptive parents, and—”

  “Oh.” His arms closed tighter around me. “Damn, that had to be hard.”

  “I’ve . . . never . . .” I tried to speak but the sobs took over again.

  “Hey,” he said gently. “It’s okay. Let’s get you to bed.”

  He bent and picked me up, carrying me over-the-threshold style to the basement door. I buried my head in the crook of his neck, relieved to not even have to think about putting one foot in front of the other to get down the stairs.

  When we got to my bedroom, he laid me down on one side of the bed and pulled back the covers on the other side. I crawled toward my pillow and lay down, curling up on my side.

  “I need a shower,” I murmured.

  “Déjà vu,” Mason said, sounding amused. “Last time we were in this bed together I was the one who needed one.”

  He was on his knees next to the bed, and he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. I would’ve smiled at the sweetness of the gesture if I’d had the energy.

  Then he got up and I let my eyes close. The blissful pull of sleep was calling. I figured Mason would leave the room, but I felt movement on the other side of the bed and realized he was lying down next to me.

  I felt his approaching warmth, and then he wrapped an arm around me, settling it beneath my breasts. I scooted back to nestle my back against his chest. He pressed a single, soft kiss to the side of my neck and I slid into a deep sleep.

  APRIL SNORED. IT MADE me smile as I worked sitting on the wingback chair in the corner of her bedroom, my feet propped on an ottoman and my laptop on my thighs. It was a light, feminine snore with a little whistling sound at the end.

  After a while, she stretched and sat up, looking over at me with her brows drawn together.

  “Hey,” she said, yawning. “How long did I sleep?”

  I looked down at my watch. “Six hours.”

  “Mmm. What are you doing?”

  “Looking at porn.”

  “Really?”

  I turned my laptop screen to face her and she scrunched her face as she studied the screen full of ones and zeroes.

  “I’m writing code,” I said, winking. “Have a little faith.”

  She smiled at that. “I could sleep for another six hours, but I need to shower and get back to the hospital.”

  “I’m playing basketball with my brothers at four. I’ll be back here by six. Keep the doors locked and the security system on while I’m gone.”

  She nodded and slid out of bed.

  “You feeling okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah. Much better. Thanks for being here earlier.”

  “If you need to . . . you know, talk or anything, we can do that.”

  “Thanks. Maybe tonight?”

  “Sure.”

  She went to her dresser and took out some clean clothes. I tried not to stare at the silky-looking white panties and bra bunched up in her hand. Actually, I didn’t. I stared at them until she left the room, imagining her sliding them onto her damp, freshly showered skin.

  Hopefully I’d get a better look at the panties and bra tonight.

  WHENEVER I PLAYED BASKETBALL with my brothers, the conversation inevitably headed south. Anytime the four of us were alone in the gym, we opened up about things we only talked about when we were playing ball.

  Today the talk had turned to sex, which was the last thing my neglected dick needed. Reed was singing the praises of marital sex.

  “Ivy could ask me for anything in the middle of giving me a blowjob and I’d say yes.”

  Austin nodded his agreement. “When Hannah’s using her hand during a BJ and I see her wedding ring . . . holy shit, it’s all I can do to hold it in.”

  “Because of the ring?” I asked.

  He gave me a serious look. “It’s a lot hotter with your wife than with a random chick. I thought it’d be the opposite. And it works both ways.”

  “Huh.” I was skeptical.

  “Yeah, it’s the same for me,” Reed said. “I could eat my wife’s pussy for days.”

  “It’s hot when a woman’s got your ring on her finger,” Austin said. “Hannah’s all mine now. And I take damn good care of her.”

  “Damn,” I said, thinking out loud. “I haven’t had a blow job in months. What the hell’s that about?”

  “Probably been longer since Kyle’s had his knob polished,” Austin said.

  “You have no fuckin’ idea,” Kyle muttered.

  I laughed humorlessly. “Kim seems like the type who’d run the tip of her tongue around the head of your cock with her face all scrunched in disgust—and that’s it.”

  Kyle just gave me a pissed off glare.

  “Come on, man. Don’t try to tell me she gave good head.”

  His lips were set in a thin line. We all waited until finally, he spoke.

  “She didn’t.”

  “I knew it,” I said, pointing at him.

  “Wait a minute,” Reed said, furrowing his brow. “She didn’t what?”

  “Give good head,” I said.

  “I’m asking Kyle.”

  Kyle’s expression was sullen now. I knew this look well. He was prepared for us to give him a truckload of shit.

  “Laugh it up, assholes,” he said. “She didn’t give me head at all.”

  We all stared at him silently for a few seconds.

  “At all?” Austin finally said.

  “Nope. She said it disgusted her.”

  I ran a hand through my hair, doing the math. “But you guys were together for . . .”

  “Twenty years,” Kyle said. “I’m thirty-eight.”

  We were all too shocked to give him shit.

  “But . . . before Kim . . . I mean, was there . . .” Reed stammered.

  “No.” Kyle looked over both shoulders to make sure we were still alone in the gym. “I’ve never had a blow job.”

 
“Fuck that,” I said, shaking my head slowly. “I’ll take you to Vegas.”

  “I’m working,” he said. “And I need to be there for the boys when I’m not working. A woman is the last thing I need in my life.”

  “Man, I’m sorry,” Reed said.

  Kyle shrugged. “Guess it’s just as well I never knew what I was missing.”

  “Not the blow job thing. I’m sorry for whatever happened to Kim that she turned her back on you guys and now you’re left to pick up the pieces.”

  “We’re happier. The house is peaceful now. Living with Kim as an alcoholic was a nightmare.”

  “What can I do?” I asked. “You need me and April to take the boys for an evening? We can take them bowling or something.”

  All three of my brothers gave me pointed looks.

  “Me and April?” Reed asked.

  Austin was next. “You’re seeing her?”

  And then Kyle. “Good for you. She’s so much better than the trashy girls you usually date.”

  “We’re together a lot,” I said. “And I like her. I took the boys over to see her before I moved into Grieves House and they loved her.”

  Reed laughed. “Never thought I’d see that look on your face.”

  “I think we’d be really good together. But she overheard me telling you I thought she was mousy when we were moving her stuff in.”

  Reed cringed. “You don’t think that anymore, though.”

  “No, but she’s still got it in her head that I thought it.”

  Austin passed me the ball and we all headed back onto the court.

  “I heard she went out with Danny Sanders,” he said.

  “That was a mercy date. It won’t happen again.”

  My brothers looked skeptical, but none of them said a word. They knew me too well to start shit with me over this.

  THE GIRLS AT THE house took turns cooking dinner, but I’d told Jess she could have tonight off and I’d pick up pizza instead. When I walked in with the boxes I’d picked up at Jimmy’s Italian Place, April and all the girls were sitting in the living room talking.

  “God, that smells amazing,” Jess said.

  They all followed me into the kitchen. April poured drinks, Taylor handed out plates and everyone grabbed some pizza and sat down at the table.

  “How’s Erica?” I asked April.

  “She’s good. She’s actually going home with her mom when she gets out of the hospital.”

  “I’m so bummed,” Jess said. “Erica always made me laugh. And she made really good chicken tacos.”

  “Can I have her room?” Taylor asked.

  “We’ll see,” April said. “We may do some rearranging.”

  Taylor opened her mouth to respond but closed it when her phone dinged with an incoming text. She picked up the phone and held it close to her chest as she read it. Then she wrote back and turned the phone face down on the table, her guilty expression saying it all.

  “Was that Colton?” I asked, trying to keep my tone casual.

  Her face flushed. “Uh . . . it was a friend.”

  “Ask him to stop by,” I said, not playing along with her lie. “I’d love to meet him.”

  Taylor’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t know what he’s capable of.”

  “Right,” I said, laughing humorlessly. “I’ll take my chances.”

  “He’s not coming back here. He knows you’ll call the cops.”

  I shook my head. “I won’t. Just tell him if he’s up to fight someone besides a woman, I’ll be here.”

  “Taylor,” April said, her eyes wide with concern, “please be careful. If you’re still seeing him, please do it in a public place—”

  Taylor silenced April when she got up from the table, put her plate in the sink and went upstairs. I half-expected April to be pissed I’d brought Colton up, but her expression was all concern and no anger.

  It was an odd dynamic. April and I were the parental figures in this house of teenage girls, which would normally have sent me running straight for Bellator. Parental? Not this guy.

  Hell, it was Saturday and the guys were at Bellator right now. But I preferred having pizza with the girls and hopefully, an evening with April. Odd didn’t even begin to describe how unlike me this all was.

  THE GIRLS WERE ALL in bed. Even Jess had given up on trying to flirt with Mason and had gone upstairs.

  It was late, and even though I was tired from being up the entire night before, I couldn’t bring myself to go to bed. Mason and I were alone on the couch, each sitting on one end facing each other.

  There was something heavy and palpable in the air between us. Was he remembering what had happened about this time last night—he had been about to carry me down to the basement so we could . . .

  What would we have done if Erica hadn’t gone into labor? I’d been more than eager for more of him. As much as he wanted to give me, in fact.

  “What’s on your mind?” he asked softly, leaning forward and taking one of my feet in his hands. He pressed his thumbs into my sole through my thin sock and I closed my eyes, relishing the relaxing sensation.

  “Erica,” I said, unwilling to admit I’d been thinking about what an amazing kisser he was. “I just hope she makes peace with her decision to give up the baby. It’s one thing to make that decision, but then to deliver the baby and then see her . . . it had to be hard.”

  He nodded, his eyes swimming with emotion for a few seconds before he spoke. “I still think about the baby I might’ve had sometimes. Kim was pregnant with Jordan when Daphne was pregnant. So seeing Jordan grow up . . . it makes me think about what my kid would’ve been like.”

  “You would’ve married her . . . Daphne. It seems like you’d have tried, anyway, if she hadn’t done what she did. If you guys were having a baby.”

  “Yeah. I would’ve asked her, whether I was ready or not. It’s not that I have regrets, because I don’t think I could’ve changed things, I just . . . think about it sometimes, you know?”

  I nodded. “I know just what you mean.”

  He was working his way from my foot to my lower calf with his massage, and I started feeling the effects of his touch all over. His hands were huge, and he knew how to use them to apply pressure where it felt good and be gentle at the same time. I wanted his hands on every inch of me.

  “Are you missing . . . Boston this weekend?” I asked in a low tone.

  He shook his head. “Tonight was nice.”

  “For me, too.”

  “Was that your first time playing Monopoly?” he asked.

  “No,” I said sharply. “I used to play with my sister all the time.”

  His brows knitted together in mock thought. “Hmm. You were just so easy to beat that I figured you’d never played.”

  I rolled my eyes and wiggled my foot, trying to free it from his grip so I could kick him. He held onto my ankle and wrapped his free hand around my other one.

  His gaze darkened, so sensual and full of desire that I stopped moving. The rise and fall of my chest was the only motion between us for a few seconds. Then Mason slid his hands from my ankles up to my calves, and he crept closer to me, forcing my legs to open and make room for him.

  One of his palms brushed over the last of the bare skin on my legs, beside my knee, before continuing higher over the fabric of the cropped sweats I wore.

  He leaned over me, his big frame deliciously, overwhelmingly close. His hand was on my hip now, and he slid it beneath the fabric of my t-shirt. I sucked in a breath as his fingertips brushed over the bare skin of my stomach.

  “Do you want me as much as I want you?” he asked in a low tone.

  I nodded, not trusting my voice.

  “You can’t possibly know how much I want you,” he said, his fingers brushing the satin of my bra. “It’s an ache that never goes away.”

  I ran my hands up his back and squeezed his shoulders, but there was no give. He was all hard, corded muscle. As he lowered himself onto me, I let out a ragge
d breath of anticipation. His body was magnificent, and I wanted to see and feel all the hidden parts of him.

  He brushed his lips over mine, the scrape of his beard sending shivers through me. When he scraped my lower lip lightly between his teeth, I arched my hips against his, my shyness forgotten.

  With a groan that was half growl, he returned the friction against my hips with his powerful ones, the steel of his erection making me bolder yet. I wrapped my legs around his hips and his lips captured mine in a searing, demanding kiss. His tongue danced with mine and this time, I had no fear of making a mistake. His hard, insistent body reassured me.

  I ran my fingers up his neck into his hair, finally getting to feel the thick, smooth locks. The rumble of a deep groan vibrated from his chest against mine. He ran a hand up the back of my thigh to my ass, his large palm covering the half he sank his fingers into.

  “You make me crazy,” he said, his voice a warm caress on my neck. “I want you so fucking bad, April.”

  I responded by tugging on his hair, which my fingers were still embedded in. He kissed my neck and then nipped the delicate skin there, his tongue soothing the pain immediately.

  Closing my eyes, I let the dizziness of sensation wash over me. I wasn’t able to separate physical and emotional closeness, and I knew I was on my way to a dangerous place. What was a night of good sex for him would be more than that for me. I already felt my heart opening to him, and this would crack it into a wide hole, open to the inevitable hurt falling for him would bring.

  But I wanted him too much to stop. Even if it was just for tonight, I wanted to keep feeling this. For the first time in my life, I was sexy. Beautiful. Enough. I brought out the same desire in this dark, powerful man that he brought out of me.

  “I want this, April,” he said in my ear. “Tell me you do, too.”

  “Yes.” My voice was soft, but certain.

  I felt another vibration from his body against mine, but this time it wasn’t a groan in his chest. It was his phone, which was also playing a series of beeps.

  “No fucking way,” he mumbled, shaking his head.

  “What? Who is it?”

  “It’s the security system. That tone is for the motion sensors I put in.”

  My arousal vanished, replaced by a knot of worry in my chest.