“How about a massage?” Heather offered.
“I’ll never say no to that,” Haven smiled, rolling onto his back and pulling her on top of him before his incredible mouth claimed hers. His fatigue seemed to dissipate as the passion between them exploded. Heather was wearing a little dress, one she usually only wore over her swimsuit but sometimes used to lounge in. She’d opted to lose the bra, but threw on a thong when she’d gotten out of the shower a couple hours ago. That proved to be a good choice when Haven’s slid under the dress and gripped her butt, an approving groan vibrating against her tongue.
When a finger slid beneath the thin sheathe of fabric, Heather broke the kiss. “I was offering you the massage, not asking for one,” she told him.
“I’m only a man, my love, and I can’t keep my hands off you.”
Heather rolled away. It’s not that she didn’t want whatever Haven had to offer, but he always made sure her pleasure came first and tonight, their last night on the ship, after a very trying evening for him, she wanted to make sure his pleasure came first. “I picked up some massage oil at the port today,” she said. The planning started long before she knew how much he would need a massage because she wanted to show him just how much he meant to her by giving instead of taking. While Haven didn’t seem to mind her taking, Heather thought they were past due for a change of the tides. “Take off your clothes while I dig it out of the bag.”
“You know I could have mixed some up. I brought the oils,” he said, releasing the top two buttons on his shirt before tugging it over his head with one hand. God, the man was sexy and graceful, even doing something as simple as removing his shirt.
“Yes, but I wanted to surprise you. I hope you like it. It says it is sensual.”
“Well, if it has patchouli, which it should if it is sensual, then yes, I like.”
“It does have patchouli, and bergamot. When I smelled it in the store, I instantly thought of you.”
“Great blend, but it might just put me in a coma.”
“With my hands all over you? I think not.”
“Good point.” He stripped out of the shorts and she opened the bottle. He sprawled on the bed, arms over his head, legs slightly spread, erection resting on his lower stomach.
“I planned to start with your back,” she said.
Haven waggled his brow. “Promise me you’ll finish on my front.”
“Promise. I have plans for your front,” she teased.
To that he laughed. “You do struggle to stay in the moment, but sometimes your plans pay off.”
He rolled over and his back was just as fine as his front. Heather took a moment to take in his strong body from shoulders to feet, pausing to admire the curve of his butt. She wanted to nibble it, one cheek then the other, and she planned to do just that, but not yet.
“Speaking of plans, I should probably confess something,” she said, pouring a healthy dollop of oil on his back before capping the bottle and straddling his thighs.
“Last time you confessed, I ended up kissing you.”
“And look where we are now,” she chuckled.
He moaned into the pillow as she spread the oil over his back, feathering it from his spine outward without yet applying much pressure.
“Anyway, about the cabin. It wasn’t a screw up with the reservation. I was hoping to gain your interest in a romantic way, so I booked us together on purpose.”
His breathing stopped, but Heather figured that was just his response to the increased pressure as she used her fingers to work his muscles. Haven turned his head. “You manipulated me?” he asked, the sternness in his voice giving her pause.
“It sounds harsh when you put it that way. I prefer to think I manipulated the situation and it worked in our favor.”
He rolled onto his side, throwing her off balance. Heather lifted onto her knees and Haven finished the turn, sitting up once he was on his back and putting the pillow over his naked form. “You manipulated me,” he said again, this time not a question.
“Haven,” she said, a plea for his understanding, but he raised a hand to stop her words.
“You manipulated me. You took advantage of your position, the role I gave you in orchestrating this retreat, and you orchestrated something to your own selfish benefit.”
“Haven,” she pleaded again. “Why are you so mad? You said yourself before we left that it was an opportunity, that you were intrigued.”
Shaking his head, his anger was palpable, rolling off him like steam rises off boiling water. “I thought the Greater Spirit was bringing us together. I thought it was fortuitous. Now you’re telling me you manipulated this, you lied to me.”
“I—” she started, but he put up his hand again.
“I’m not okay with this, Heather. I don’t do well with being manipulated. I walked away from a woman who did that to me, who hurt and betrayed me for her own personal gain.”
Now Heather shook her head as she knelt at the end of the bed. “That’s not what I did.”
He turned so his legs were off the bed, grabbed his shorts and tugged them on as he stood.
“Haven,” she demanded, standing too. “I liked you, I just wanted to see if we had a chance before I made a fool of myself.”
“So you made a fool of me instead,” he growled.
“How? You said you love me.” It was only hours ago when those sweet words crossed his lips and kissed her ears. She hadn’t meant to say it to him, but once the words were out, she couldn’t take them back, so she owned it because moving forward, she wanted him to know her. She’d always been confident, sure, and decisive. She’d lost that somewhere, or maybe let it go, but she couldn’t abandon that part of herself again.
“Like I said, a fool.” He grabbed his shirt off the floor and the messenger bag leaning against the closet that she had learned was filled with his journal, favorite crystals, and a couple oracle card decks, and walked out with both items gripped in his fists.
“Haven!” she yelled, moving to the door and flinging it back open before it clicked shut. “Don’t run again.”
“I can’t do manipulation,” he said over his shoulder. This wasn’t the Haven she loved. He faced everything, no matter what it was. How could he just walk away?
“I love you,” she professed. “That’s not a manipulation. That’s my heart. If you love me like you said, you won’t walk away.”
He lifted his gaze to her eyes. “It doesn’t matter how I feel about you. I’ve come too far to fall back down the rabbit path. I’ve been slipping ever since that night when I kissed you. That was a line I shouldn’t have crossed.” He dropped his head and shook it, breathing in a long breath and releasing it in a whoosh. “I should have known this is where we’d end up when you offered to help with the app. I can’t mix business and pleasure. I got burned once and I won’t walk through that fire again.”
“What? You think I’m stealing your idea? I would never—”
“I’ll find somewhere else to sleep tonight,” he said, cutting off her defense.
Stunned, Heather could do nothing but stand there and watch him walk away. She had too much pride to chase after him. It was such a small thing she’d done, and yet for all his mindful practices, he’d taken it and blown it a thousand times out of proportion.
Walking away, he had proved that he wasn’t the fool, she was for thinking she might have actually found a man who wasn’t intimidated by her brains and boldness.
“Stupid,” she said, smacking her palm to her forehead as she walked back into the room. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” but before the last syllables finished, the tears started pouring. Heather let the door slam behind her, shutting out any hope she had of a future with Haven.
CHAPTER 11
Haven had meditated, journaled, meditated some more, done a single card reading and a three-card spread with his energy oracle cards, and a three-card spread with his soul coaching oracle deck. The only thing that had become clear was the Greater Spirit thou
ght he should be with Heather.
Haven’s heart thought the same thing as it ached despite the meditations and journaling.
He was such a fool to think he’d journeyed along the path far enough to be able to handle a romantic relationship with grace and mindfulness. His impulses still fought to come to the surface and that’s how he’d ended up in the ship’s jewelry store last night, buying a Larimar crystal set in a sterling silver ring setting. He’d first seen the stone at a port shop in St. Thomas and immediately thought of Heather. Knowing turquoise was her favorite color, he’d researched the crystal and discovered the cardinal water stone that was born of volcanic fire was a powerful healing stone. Among its powers, Haven discovered it aided in releasing emotional bonds and clear communication, providing the strength and courage to speak openly from the heart.
That was why he had bought himself a pendant of the crystal as well. Heather didn’t need help with releasing emotional bonds or the courage to speak from her heart. She had mastered that and Haven needed to take a lesson from her instead of letting old betrayals tether him to the past.
He had returned to the cabin before midnight to confess what a fool he’d been and beg her forgiveness, not because of her, but in spite of himself, only to find she was gone, along with all her belongings. It had been too late to knock on the doors of the other mystics, but his reasoning told him those cabins weren’t big enough to accommodate a third person, so she must be about the ship somewhere. He had searched for hours, coming up short before returning to the cabin in hopes she would too.
Waking up alone early this morning filled him with disappointment, but grateful neither a morning yoga nor a morning meditation session was scheduled with his mystics. Heather had left this final morning open so everyone had time to pack and disembark before getting on the shuttle to the hotel for a final day in San Juan. By nightfall tomorrow, they’d be back in Lilac Ridge. The following day, the class would meet for its final session. They would meet monthly, but Haven had decided to schedule an advanced class as well. He hoped Heather would enroll, and also enroll in the crystal healing class she had shown an interest in, but Haven didn’t want her in the studio only for her own journey. He wanted her to be a part of his journey too.
With everything packed, he rolled his suitcase into the hall. He shouldn’t have been surprised to see Heather there, clipboard in hand, going through her checklist with each of the mystics to ensure nothing was missed or left behind.
He expected her to ignore him as she moved from Cat and Zoe’s room to the right of the room they had shared for the past seven nights, over to Brandon and Tamarra’s room, but she stopped and offered a weary smile. “Everyone is ready to disembark. Do you need me to go over the checklist with you or are you sure you’re all set?”
Shaking his head, he rested a hand at her waist. She wore a layered turquoise tunic and matching skirt, with strappy sandals that showed off her eclectic jewelry. Beautiful as ever, he wanted to pull her back into the room and beg her forgiveness, but doubted she’d allow him to do that, so he spoke his mind right there in the narrow hall.
“I love you,” he declared, figuring the truth of his heart was the best place to start. “I’m not perfect. Being here with you, on this unexpected tropical tryst, it has thrown me off balance so much so that I forgot who I am, the path that I follow, the energies I live by. I haven’t had love in my life for so long that when I discovered it with you, I fell into old patterns. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I beg it of you nonetheless.”
“I forgive you,” she said without hesitation, her tone steady and aloof.
“Please don’t say it unless you mean it, Heather, please.”
Heather shook her head. “You are the one who has trouble letting go. I don’t hold a grudge. I don’t have the energy for that. My path is always forward because living in the past gets me nowhere. I know you would tell me that it is more important to live in the moment, and I have learned to ground myself there, but that doesn’t change my forward momentum.”
His heart grew with her mindful words. Every one of his mystics was unique, on a path all their own, and it seemed Heather finally embraced hers. Haven couldn’t have been more proud.
In that moment, he knew he couldn’t continue to fight his impulses. Being impulsive didn’t make him a bad person or mean he was off the path. It was simply another way to journey, another way to learn, and another way to embrace his purpose. He pulled the ring from his pocket and held it out to Heather. “I bought this for you. It’s a Larimar crystal, found only in the Caribbean. It balances the polarities of the fire and water energies, and has so many other healing powers. But from me, to you, it’s a promise, a promise that we will find balance together, that I won’t let my past cloud our future.
“It’s beautiful, Haven, but I can’t accept it.”
“Heather,” he pleaded.
She shot a glance in both directions where the rest of the mystics watched with clear interest. Haven wasn’t one for creating drama, but he was desperate to prove to Heather that he was a man of his word, a man worthy of her love.
Pushing him into the room, she kicked the door closed. “Every time things stray from your comfort zone, you go running, but last night, with your accusations, that was a line you never should have crossed. I chose to forgive you, but that doesn’t mean I can just forget how much you hurt me. I didn’t deserve that.”
Haven nodded. “You’re right, you didn’t deserve that and I was wrong. I’ve never been more wrong in my life, but I will spend every second of my life seeking ways to be better. I will never be perfect, all I can do is work at it and more than anything, I want to do that with you by my side.”
Tears spilled down her cheeks, breaking his heart. He’d done this to her. He’d been cruel instead of mindful and he had to find the strength to forgive himself for that and move forward, just like Heather. “I love you,” he said, brushing the tears from her cheeks.
“I love you too, but maybe you were right about taking things slow. Maybe this has been too fast for both of us.”
Now Haven shook his head. “I’ve been fighting against my impulses for a long time, and I believe you have too. I think one thing we can learn from this and each other is to embrace our impulses and see what path they can take us down.”
She smiled now, igniting Haven’s hope. “Having any impulses now?” she asked, glancing down at the ring.
He held it up and dropped to his knee. “Is this impulsive enough for you?”
“Are you meditating or do you have other intentions while you’re down there?”
“Marry me, Heather. Be impulsive and stay with me on this journey we started.”
Holding out her finger, she nodded and laughed. “Oh my God, yes, Haven, yes, I’ll stay with you on the journey. Yes, I’ll marry you.”
EPILOGUE
The past six months had been a good balance of smooth and rocky as Heather learned all of Haven’s flaws. The man she’d once thought was perfect proved to be far from it, but that made her love him all the more.
Another thing that made her love him all the more was his kind and thoughtful heart. Six weeks ago he surprised her with an adoption certificate he’d crafted himself, showing them as the proud parents of one furry, four-legged baby named Vishnu. She had no idea he’d been so resourceful about starting the adoption while they visited St. Thomas. While she hadn’t put the pup out of her mind completely, she tried only to focus on positive thoughts of her little protective friend, hoping he had found a good life after they left him in Chris’ arms by the beach. Now they were returning to the island to officially claim him as theirs and bring him home.
But that wasn’t their only adventure on this journey. When Heather suggested they get married there, Haven dropped to his knees he was so happy. It was another impulse they both embraced.
“Do you think he’ll remember us?” Heather asked as the van wove around the narrow streets to the secluded beach on St.
Thomas.
“He’ll remember you for sure,” Haven replied.
“Sweet talker,” she laughed.
Haven squeezed her hand. “I prefer to be called truth sayer, if you please. I’m sure all the video calls helped too.” Chris thought they were crazy when Heather suggested they do video calls, but Vishnu seemed to enjoy them, barking and licking the screen whenever Heather talked to him.
When the van pulled into the parking lot, Heather spotted Chris standing near the diving hut, Vishnu sitting next to him, connected to a turquoise leash. Heather jumped out as soon as the driver opened the door and ran to the dark who barked and wagged. Chris released the leash and Vishnu met her halfway, not jumping on her, but standing on his back legs and dancing around as she kissed and petted him.
They’d been sending money for food and veterinary care while Chris provided a foster home for the dog, whose fur was so much softer than the last time they’d seen him. His weight had increased as well, and he seemed so happy. “How’s my baby boy? Did you miss me? Are you ready to go home?”
“I think you have some other business before you go, don’t you?” Chris asked, eying Heather’s dress. She had chosen a strapless, short satin dress, cut above the knees, but with a fluffy train that stopped at her ankles. Haven wore light khakis and a light blue shirt that brightened his beautiful sky blue eyes. They had opted for a private ceremony on the beach, another tryst since they hadn’t told anyone back home they were getting married. The purpose of the trip was to bring Vishnu home and their time here was limited, so they wanted to enjoy it without any pressures or drama. Heather knew she couldn’t invite her parents without inviting her sister and wherever Sam went, drama followed.
“Forget about me already?” Haven asked. “Good thing we’ve been working on those jealousy meditations together.”
Jealousy was one of his less endearing traits, but he was mindful of that impulse and through open communication and honesty, they had learned ways for both of them to work through it when the emotions arose.
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